Once again, italics later in the chapter indicate a flashback. Hope you enjoy!

"She could have killed you Nick."

Nick finished scribbling his name on the discharge forms before turning to look at Catherine, who was standing in his path to the exit of the hospital. "I'm fine," he replied.

Catherine gently grabbed his shoulders and held him in place when he tried to walk around her, forcing him to look her in the eyes. "The doctors said if you had been standing a little closer to her and if she had swung just a little bit harder, it would have hit you just right in the temple and it would have killed you."

He could tell she was very upset by what had happened, but knew it was his own fault. "I'm not pressing charges on her. I went over there, I pissed her off and I got what I deserved. She wasn't trying to kill me, she was trying to make me shut up. I deserved to be hit, hell I would have deserved it if she had killed me. I wish she had."

Catherine dropped her hands back down to her side. "Why?" she asked quietly.

Nick looked down at the floor. "After everything I've done to her, adding last night to all of that..." he trailed off.

"What did you say to her?"

Nick felt tears start to build up in his tired eyes and his stomach twist into knots at the mere thought of what he had said. He knew Catherine would get it of him eventually, so he responded by saying "We were arguing and she said that I was the worst thing that ever happened to her. It's true, I agree, but I was so mad and frustrated and confused, so I said that losing the baby must have been the best thing that ever happened to her."

Catherine shook her head slowly. "How could you say that to her?"

Nick sighed heavily. "Because I'm a jackass, okay? What difference does it make why I said it? I said it, and I can't take it back. All I can do is go home, pass out, then wake up and try to put this whole thing behind me."

"You're not going to talk to her again?"

Nick scoffed. "I learned my lesson. She doesn't want to see me, she doesn't want to talk to me. She's done fine these fourteen years because I've been out of her life, I'm not going to try and force my way back in. I've done and said terrible things to her. The best thing I can do now is to leave her alone."

Catherine nodded slightly. "Okay, let's get you home."

They left the hospital and drove the whole way back to Nick's house in complete silence. The air conditioning in the car was on full blast because of how hot it was outside, and the faint sound of the radio playing music was only barely audible over the roar of the air. When they pulled into the driveway, Catherine looked over at Nick and saw that his head was back against the headrest with his eyes closed, but she knew he wasn't asleep. She cut the engine and sat back in her own seat, feeling her heart wrench at the sight of his battered face. There were butterfly stitches covering the real stitches above his left eye and the surrounding area was cut up from the glass and bruised deeply. Catherine was just about to ask him if he was okay when he spoke softly.

"You looked like you wanted to him me too when I told you what I had said to Sam," he said, his eyes still closed.

Catherine laughed lightly. "It wasn't exactly a great thing to say Nick."

"Oh I know that," Nick replied. "That's probably why I said it."

"That's not who you are," Catherine said, shaking her head even though she knew Nick couldn't see her. "Up and leaving her, saying things like that...it just doesn't sound like the Nick I know."

Nick opened his eyes and turned his head to look over at her. "It's not the Nick she knew either. I left so that I wouldn't hurt her any more than necessary. She doesn't believe me and thinks that me leaving was the worst possible thing, but it's not. If I had stayed, we would have fought more and it would have been horrific. I know me leaving wasn't a stand up thing to do, but it was best like that."

After a brief pause, Catherine replied with "You want her to hate you."

Nick frowned at her. "Why would I want that?"

"What happened with the baby, what you went through was awful. You were terrified and had no idea how to handle it. Fighting was the only thing that made sense because it was something you had control over. Losing the baby made you lose your sense of control, but you got that back by fighting with one another. You want her to hate you because you can control that, and if she hates you then you don't have to try and put the pieces of your broken life back together. It's easier if she hates you," Catherine explained.

Nick shook his head slowly. "I don't want her to hate me," he said quietly. "I hate that she hates me because it reminds me of what happened and what I did to her, but it's for the best. It's the best thing for her because not being with me saved her from a lot of bullshit. If we had been together and lived here with all the shit that happened to me here...that wouldn't have been fair to her. She deserves a normal life where she doesn't have to go through torturous things like that because of me. All I do is cause her pain."

"Do you still love her?" Catherine asked simply, basically disregarding everything he had just said.

"It's not that easy," he replied.

"Yes it is," Catherine said, nodding slightly. "We're not talking about you trying to fix what you did or get back together with her or forget everything that has happened to you. All of that is extremely messy and complicated, but the question of whether or not you're still in love with her is straight forward. It's the simplest part of all of this."

"No it's not," Nick argued. "I haven't seen or talked to her in fourteen years. The last two times I've seen her, we've gotten into a fight. The last one ended with me in the hospital. How can I-"

"Stop trying to talk yourself out of how you feel," Catherine interjected. "You can convince yourself of anything if you try hard enough Nick. It's a yes or no. Don't be afraid of the answer, and stop trying to change it."

Nick looked away from Catherine and stared straight in front of him through the windshield at his house. "It doesn't matter," he said, giving her the same answer he had given Greg. "It won't change anything, it just makes this hurt even more to think about it."

Catherine knew Nick was upset, but she also knew that getting him to say it would make him feel better. "Do you still love her?" she asked again, continuing to push him.

"Of course I do!" Nick exclaimed in a mixture of frustration and confusion. "I've been in love with her since the first night I met her, nothing could ever change that. But it doesn't matter, nothing will ever be like it was. She hates me, and I deserve that. She deserves a perfect life with a perfect guy and a perfect family. I can't give her that. I tried, and I fucked it up. I fucked everything up. It doesn't make a difference how much I still love her."

"How do you know?" Catherine asked.

"Because I know her," Nick said. "She doesn't want to hear that I'm sorry or that I still love her."

Catherine shrugged. "Then what does she want to hear?"

Nick didn't answer her. He was done talking, especially about this. He opened the door and got out of the car into the hot Vegas afternoon and immediately felt the heat affecting his already damaged head. He soldiered on to his front door, which he opened with only slight difficulty before closing it behind him and escaping from the heat. He leaned up against it's solid frame and sighed deeply. He stayed where he was, with all of his weight against the door, until he finally heard Catherine's car drive away down the street. Only then did he drag himself down the hallway to his bedroom where he crawled into bed and was asleep as soon as he put his head down on his cool, welcoming pillow.

Nick had been unable to take his eyes off of her the entire time that he had been at that party. It was the first weekend of college, and he was only eighteen years old, but he could already say with great confidence that she was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. There was more to her, he could tell. She wasn't all dressed up like all of the other girls at the party were who were trying to impress all the guys, which they had done effectively. She wasn't all done up in make up and wasn't accepting any of the alcohol being offered to her, not even by the upperclassmen who were falling all over themselves to try and talk to her. She was extremely composed and seemed so down to Earth; he wished he had the guts to go talk to her.

Instead, he headed for the back of the frat house that he would end up pledging at and ventured out on to the back porch, which was surprisingly vacant. He sat in an empty chair and tried to relax for the first time that week. The first week of college was more than hectic, which was evident by the amount of drunk freshman at the party. He was both physically and emotionally drained and all he wanted to do was go back to his room and sleep, but he was there with his roommate and a few friends and didn't want to ditch him. He ended up being very glad that he had stayed.

"Mind if I sit here?" Nick looked up and felt his heart jump into his throat when he saw that girl from inside standing next to him, motioning to the open chair next to him. Words escaping him, he merely shook his head lamely and she sat down with a small smile. "It's so crazy in there," she said, trying to make small talk.

Nick nodded in agreement. "You should have seen it last night. It gave 'Animal House' a run for its money."

She laughed. "Hey, you're in my writing class, right?"

He knew he was, he had noticed her the very first day of class and she stood out against every one else every time he had seen her after that. "Yeah, yeah I think so," he said, trying to play it cool. "You were sitting near the kid that brought a beer to class."

"Yes, yes I was," she said, laughing again. "My name's Sam."

"Nick," he replied, shaking her outstretched hand.

"So where are you from, Nick?" she asked.

"Belton," he replied. "What about you?"

"Dallas," she answered. "You're actually the first person I've talked to that's from Texas. Every one else I know here is from out of state. They heard it was a big party school I guess."

There was a loud crash from inside the house, followed by an eruption of laughter and cheering. "I guess they were right," Nick said, laughing slightly.

"How do you like school so far?" she asked, keeping the conversation going.

"Love it," Nick replied. "I was getting pretty sick of high school. What about you?"

"Same," Sam answered. "It's an easier transition than I thought it was going to be."

Nick nodded in agreement. "Do you know anyone that goes here already or came from your high school?"

"A few people, but not anybody that I'm friends with or know that well," Sam replied. "Do you?"

"Yeah, a few kids I played football with came here and a lot of kids that went to my high school go here every year."

Sam smiled slightly. "Did you know any of those girls from in there from high school? Ya know, the ones that were hanging all over you," she said with a small laugh.

Nick was glad it was dark out and that she wouldn't be able to tell he was blushing. "No," he said, laughing slightly himself. "I don't know them and bet they won't remember me tomorrow, which is fine by me."

"You're the only guy at this party that's not looking to get laid," she said, still laughing.

"Yeah, well, you're the only girl at this party that's not dressed like a hooker, drinking a bunch of alcohol and trying to hook up with anybody that will look twice at you."

Sam nodded. "True, I guess we're both outcasts in that respect."

Before Nick could reply, the back door opened and a very drunk kid stumbled out onto the deck and braced himself by putting both hands on Nick's shoulders. "Dude," the kid said, slurring even the one syllable word. "I'm going with that chick back to her room. The best part is, I'm drunker than she is."

Nick couldn't help but laugh. "Okay," he said. "You good to get there alright?"

The kid laughed. "Oh yeah, I'll get there just fine, don't you worry Nicky."

Nick shook his head at his drunk friend. "Okay, I'll see you tomorrow then. Have fun."

"Want me to go grab you a chick?" the kid asked. "There's tons of them in there dude. Tons. They all wanted to get with you anyway, then you disappeared. Worked out well for me though, so thanks."

"Nah, I'm good," Nick replied, still laughing.

"Whatever man, see ya later."

The kid happily stumbled back inside, leaving Nick and Sam alone on the porch again. "Friend of yours?" Sam asked in amusement.

Nick nodded. "Yeah, Josh. I've been friends with him for as long as I can remember. He's a little wild, but he's a good kid. For the most part."

They were suddenly interrupted again by another drunk kid coming out onto the porch, but this time he was here to see Sam, not Nick. "Hey girl," he said, pulling her to her feet unwillingly. "Let's get out of here, go to my room, have some fun."

Sam pulled her arm away from the guy she didn't even know. "Thanks, but I'm all set," she replied. She tried to back away from him, but he grabbed her wrist and kept her in place.

"Hey man," Nick said, standing up quickly. "Leave her alone."

The other guy scoffed at Nick. "Fuck off kid." Sam wrestled away from his grasp and moved quickly to stand behind Nick as she began to get genuinely nervous about the situation. "She's leaving with me, not you," the guy said forcefully.

Nick shook his head. "She's not leaving with either one of us. Don't be a dick, just go back inside and leave her alone."

The kid shoved Nick, forcing him back against Sam, but the other kid was very drunk and unsteady on his feet. Nick pushed him back, causing him to trip over the chair Sam had been sitting in and fall heavily to the ground. He groaned, but made no attempt at getting up any time in the near future.

"That was pretty pathetic," Nick mumbled, then realized Sam was still standing behind him. He turned around and saw that her hands were shaking. "Are you okay?" he asked.

Sam nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine," she said softly, looking over at the drunk idiot on the ground. "He just, that kind of scared me," she admitted, looking up at Nick sheepishly. "I'm glad you were out here," she said, smiling slightly. "Thanks."

Nick shrugged. "No problem," he said, smiling back.

"I should go, but I think my roommate is staying. She's 'dating' one of the guys that's a brother here," she said, motioning to the house with her head.

"Do you want me to walk you back to your room?" Nick offered.

Sam shook her head. "No, you don't have to do that. It's on the other side of campus, I'll be fine."

"I don't mind," Nick said. "I've got nothing better to do."

Next chapter should be up soon!