Chapter 5

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I sighed in hopeless. Then got up to fetch him a water.

As I came back and sat beside him as he took the glass from me. He drank it slowly.

"I didn't know where to start, Cas," he finally spoke with little voice and trembled.

I was aware. 'Does he ready to tell me now?'

"This would be a long story and wasn't a pleasant one," he adjusted.

I smiled bitterly, "I've been waiting for this, Sam. I have time to hear it, and no matter how horrible was it."

He didn't respond.

I gulped, uncomfortable.

"Where do you want me to start, Castiel?"

I sighed, "What about from your nightmare you just had," I answered carefully for not scarring him.

He looked at me in nervous.

Part 5 – Those Nightmares

I waited him as nervous as him.

He took a deep breath before he's starting it.

"It was not my favorite nightmares. But it always comes."

"What nightmares, Sam?"

"Me being in small dark closet with big rats."

I gulped, 'Big rats?'

" 'He' used to lock me on a dark small closet under the stairs with that horrible rats. It was 'his' favorite. He knew I hate and scarred of them. They were big, wild, and mean. But 'he' just locked me there with them, letting them to bite me and ate me there. The more I covered my body and hauled them, the more they aggressive and wild, till I couldn't fight again and let them ate me. And I never dare to screamed even I wanted so much to shout."

My heart fell. I was sure those scars on his face was rats masterpiece. He let out his hands and showed me the scars on his wrist. Their masterpiece too. 'Oh God' I had to take a deep breath as took his hand grabbed them gently.

I opened his palms and looked those scars over his palms.

"Were this their teeth too?"

But he shook his head.

"This was from 'him', to remind me as a bad kid."

I looked at him as ready to hear another bad story of him.

" 'He' kept ensure me that I was a bad kid, naughty and useless. 'He' never like me, 'he' hates me. Sometimes he used 'his' belt and cane on my palms till it bleeding or put my palms on the door and smashed it for several times.

Flashback

"Arse here, you little shit!" as 'he' grabbed Sam's sore hand from the beating last night, to the door. 'He' opened the door and put Sam's hand at the door.

Before Sam knew what his father would do, his father smashed the door through Sam's little palms and pinched them hard on a door. Sam shocked with the pain. He almost screamed, but he had learnt to keep his screaming.

'He' pinched them hard several times, till it blood, and Sam couldn't stand with the pain. It was hurt so much, it felt like his bones were crushed. Till he couldn't stand much longer and let his little whimpered out.

"What was that? Did I hear something?" 'he' put his ear even closer on Sam, and not only a whimper 'he' found out but a also a dripping tears.

"Well, you cried now, that would be double, and another for crying."

Sam couldn't breathe, and just could feel the horrific pain over his hand. He let his tears down, not caring what would happened next. It wouldn't different; 'he' would beat him anyway.

And Sam had to pay his tears.

"Now, drop your pants!"

Sam couldn't move his hands. It hurt so much. And this made 'him' even madder.

'He' pulled Sam to the table and faced him down on belly. 'He' pulled off Sam's pants roughly and gave him a good belted on his back and his butt till Sam passed out.

End flashback

"I passed out and I couldn't use my hand properly for over two months. My hands were cracked out.

I couldn't breathe as he's telling his story, like my heart was ripped out. I felt sick! It couldn't be that bad, that was hell! A fucking living hell! And his father who's done that! Bastard! Animal!

"'He' never like me, Castiel. 'He' hated me so much. He hated me for killing mam. He said I was a mistake, that I shouldn't be born. Mam was sick when she was having me and 'he' believed 'his' little family had perfect with mam and my brother Dean, 'he' didn't want more. 'He' wanted to abort me for my mam safety. She shouldn't have a baby. She wasn't strong for laboring it. But she kept me, and with her last strength she brought me out to the world, and the next morning she died. It was my mistake and I was a mistake. 'He' told me that every day. That I shouldn't be born and took me mam's life. 'He' loved her so much! That's why 'he' put up with me and why the beatings were all my fault."

"But Dean was there. He was there from the beginning. He took after me and raised me while 'he' beat me up. Dean was always standing up for me. He tried so bad to protecting me, but he couldn't done that all the time, as I have to stay at home with 'him' while Dean had to work at the dock.

"I stayed with 'him' everyday never letting me out except to buy him a big bottle beer, and got the beating every day. I always ended half conscious on the floor, bruised and bleeding, sometimes I vomited myself before he threw me to the closet with the rats. And Dean would pull me out from there when he was come home. He bathed my wounds and changed my dirty clothes and wrapped me up, took me to the safest place for me, and he would comfort me with the world 'hang on, Sam, when our money had enough I'll taking you out from here, keeping you away from 'him' forever'. That's why always I hanged on there, waiting for the chance to get out from 'him'."

I kept listening with heart breaking.

"Dean knew my daily life at home, and he was always looking a chance to take me out from the house, keeping me away from him.

"Till one day he had a chance. And … that brought us to meet Mrs. Sullivan and Michael."

I held my breath. Alright a new chapter.

TBC

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