Disclaimer: Naruto is as mine as post-its. Which are like 247% mine. Okay, post-its aren't my creation… BUT I DO ENJOY THOSE REALLY COOL DIGITAL POST-ITS! They're so fun! You download the app, and put different coloured post-its all over your desktop reminding you to do stuff! Beans! (:
Unbeta~ed out of pure laziness ):
On a stormy sea of moving emotion
Tossed about I'm like a ship on the ocean
I set a course for winds of fortune
But I hear the voices say,
"Carry on my wayward son
There'll be peace when you are done
Lay your weary head to rest
Don't you cry no more"
"Carry On My Wayward Son" by Kansas
Disenchanted
By
JD01 (Emerald Lies)
CHAPTER EIGHT:
Changes
XXX
If he had to be perfectly honest with himself, Sasuke had to admit he had pictured this moment quite a bit in the past few years.
How could he not?
After all, all three of his subordinates suddenly disappeared into thin air one morning. One of them showed up a year later a transformed person (transformed gender, Sasuke thought to himself, trying to hide the sneer of disgust that appeared every time that Haruno guy... girl... thing came to mind). And no one ever spoke about the other two. Whenever villagers or fellow rookie nine classmates would get irksome and raise a ruckus concerning the whereabouts of their beloved colleague (because face it, people just didn't care all that much about the pale creeper), the Hokage along with Kakashi, always had this quaint way of allaying the situation and putting the issue on a back burner.
"They're on an important, classified mission. My orders," Tsunade would ambiguously answer, with that awful, wrathful look of hers that allowed no room for questions.
Sasuke had always found it strange— the sheer effort that was put into hiding those two... it was practically unnatural. Suspicious.
So, it was only natural that Sasuke's mind would wander... Especially after the first couple of months. With such frustratingly little information provided to him, there had been a plethora of different scenarios coursing through his head— one crazier than the next. Somedays... somedays, it felt like he'd never see their faces again. Sai. Naruto. Their mutilated carcasses, lying in all their wrecked glory, in a ditch somewhere, in the middle of nothingness. Some images were more gruesome than others. The aching pang that constricted the middle of his chest had caught him off guard at first. He hadn't expected to... feel any sense of loss at the thought of never seeing his students again.
Sasuke was horrified that he could possibly care beyond his strictest, most professional sense of duty for his students, or that he could have somehow unexpectedly formed any sort of attachment to said students.
How frivolous. How disgustingly weak.
Sasuke clicked his tongue in disgust.
No, he did not care.
Curious.
That's it
He was just... curious.
And contrary to popular belief, he wasn't some heartless, sociopathic monster who revelled in people's untimely deaths. So it wasn't all that surprising that he wasn't over-the-moon with joy over his students' disappearance.
However, through all the tortuous hours of reeling imagination, never in his wildest dreams did he ever think that this would be how he finally reunited with his long lost students.
This.
The moment that fated door swung open.
The moment his gaze set down on the pair of little monstrous brats.
The boy had crossed his arms petulantly; his dark, angry eyes peeking through a messy mop of jet black hair.
The little girl shying behind him, looked up uncertainly, with a tinge of pink colouring her cheeks.
Big, dark eyes staring up in a mixture of curiosity and embarrassment, before quickly looking away.
She pressed herself closer to her brother, who in turn, swatted away in annoyance at the pigtail tickling his face.
"There is something you must know," Kakashi had said in that frustratingly cheerful voice. But even when Kakashi had told him, Sasuke was still desperately clinging onto every last straw of hope. Maybe the masked man had been joking? Yes, this was all a joke. A stupid, unfunny, unnerving, 'let's-take-off-years-off-of-Sasuke's-already-shortened-lifespan' kind of joke.
But as those dark pairs of eyes blinked up at him, the truth was undeniable.
"Oh fuck," Sasuke had muttered miserably when reality had dawned on him with the fury with which a five hundred pound hulking gorilla humped one's leg.
"I rather you don't swear in front of my children, Uchiha-sensei,"said a clear voice, tinged with a subtle creepiness that could only belong to one man.
Sai smiled faintly, in that unnatural way of his. It was almost as though it didn't belong on his face, like someone had cropped it out of a picture in some magazine and pasted it onto Sai's face. A smile that Sasuke could honestly say he did not miss whatsoever.
His one hand lightly ruffled the pouting boy's hair, while his other rested on the younger girl's shoulder.
"Come," he motioned, pulling his children inside.
Sasuke vaguely wondered why it was that the creep didn't seem the least bit fazed by their presence. Kakashi claimed that he had known their whereabouts since the very beginning, but surely he had to be a little bit surprised to find Sasuke at his doorstep?
Sasuke didn't have much time to mull over it, as Kakashi shoved him inside.
And so this, turned into sitting in the middle of a small, cramped living room, not even furnished with couches or cushions, with just a bland coffee table set in the middle.
The yellowed wallpaper was adorned with tarnished lilies splattered about.
In one corner of the room, there were some awkwardly coloured lilies— the colours exceeded the borders, presumably from children not knowing what is and isn't appropriate to defile with crayons.
Sasuke sat uncomfortably on his knees, with a cup of tea cooling before him, as he looked around the humble (and this took humility to a whole new level, Sasuke snorted) abode with curiosity mixed with disdain. Mostly disdain.
Kakashi cleared his throat.
"Well, it's a nice place you've got here," he declared happily, his eye wandering before closing in his, what Sasuke found, highly irritable cheery squint.
Naruto just nodded, noticeably at a loss for words.
What, the idiot thought nobody would ever find him in this dirty little sand castle? Sasuke glared at the boy... man before him.
Yes, man.
A lot changed in eight years.
Naruto leaned against the door frame of the insignificant, barren living room, his arms crossed over his chest— as a subconscious defence mechanism or by force of habit, Sasuke did not know. His hair had grown in messy, jagged spikes to his shoulders. His cheekbones protruded more— gone was the teenage baby fat he still had at sixteen.
The boy had obviously undergone a growth spurt in his last years of teenagehood. It was hard to tell if the boy had finally managed to surpass Sasuke's own whopping height. Under the baggy black and orange flowing Suna robes, it was hard to tell if his body had also altered significantly. Orange, Sasuke snorted. Obviously they were custom made, courtesy of Kazekage dearest... The dip in the V-neck revealed bronzed, chiseled skin, tanned to a crisp, probably from hours spent training in the desert sun. Sasuke absently wondered if that tan evenly spread beyond the exposed skin, then proceeded to frown. What the hell kind of dumbass question was that? Sasuke fixed his abdominal region with a bit more curiosity than perhaps appropriate. He blinked rapidly. That's from where... that's the... children... where...
Naruto wore a guarded expression. Not a hardened or hostile expression by any means. Just careful. Blank. Almost as though Naruto wasn't sure himself how to react, so he chose not to react at all. For the first time in a long time, Sasuke wasn't sure what the man before him was thinking.
"Chichiue!" exclaimed an almost shrill, effeminate voice.
Naruto lazily turned his head to the little boy, who was standing belligerently by the entryway. His arms were crossed in a similar fashion to his father's, but instead of adorning a blank and guarded expression, the child's sour disposition clearly indicated his displeasure.
Che. Brats. Such Monsters.
Sasuke sneered, noting to himself that when he revived his clan, he'd be sure to instill some fear and respect into his offspring. They certainly won't grow up to be rude little spoiled monsters like the kid before him.
"Who are they? Why are the here?" the little boy rudely asked, angrily jabbing his finger in the direction of newcomers.
It was instantaneous. So instantaneous that Sasuke was taken aback. Despite all the physical changes and despite mentally knowing that eight years bring about a lot of changes, the instantaneity of it violently reminded Sasuke that in fact, a lot had changed.
Because only a parent's expression changes from guarded and careful to complete unhindered, humming softness when your child calls for you in this special, instantaneous way. Sasuke knew, because in that moment, he was reminded of the way his mother's face would instantly change, soften, almost... beautify when he would excitedly run to her. Change in a way only a mother can. In a way only a parent can.
Naruto had crouched to the boy's level, his hand gently caressing the messy, inky strands of hair.
"Shun, go play outside," he spoke sternly, with this indescribable softness fluttering across his features. Then, spotting the shy little girl crouching in the entryway, behind the coat rack, Naruto grinned towards her. "And take Chi with you."
"But— !"
"Shun, listen to your chichiue,"Sai came in, with a platter of pastries to accompany the tea, circumventing the child and parent. "Chi, there's no need to hide."
He threw them both a look that left no room for argument. The boy sighed unhappily, clearly defeated by his set of unreasonable fathers.
"Don't wander off far from the house," Naruto added, in a tone that promised much unpleasantness if disobeyed.
The child huffed,outstretching his arm impatiently towards his sister, who carefully snuck out from behind the coat rack to join her brother. The child threw a dirty glare towards the uninvited guests— his look particularly vicious towards Sasuke. It must have hurt, to narrow his eyes so intensely, behind a veil of black bangs; Sasuke almost guffawed condescendingly.
Pathetic.
Sasuke smirked cruelly.
The boy growled, grabbing his little sister's compliant hand and stalking towards the door, slamming it shut.
Good riddance, Sasuke thought, as his complacent smirk intensified.
"Do you have something against my children, Uchiha?" Naruto finally spoke, venom dripping from his voice. Sasuke noted that the boy... man, man had gotten up again, his too-blue eyes glaring at him, much like his son. He also vaguely noticed how Naruto's voice had deepened. Somewhere along the way, it had lost its innocence and gained more edge.
The look of utter and complete revulsion twisting his porcelain features was enough of an answer for Naruto.
He looked away.
He didn't need this.
He did not need this.
Not after eight years. Not after everything.
He did not need Uchiha-fucking-I'm-so-cool-and-beautiful-Sasuke waltzing before him, throwing his holier-than-thou self-righteous judgement in his face.
"Why are you here?" Naruto muttered, sounding angry, sounding tense, like a dam about to break from the constant water thrashing.
Naruto had years, years of locking himself in his room, sheltering himself from accusing, judgemental eyes. He had years of pretending, of being ashamed, of being confused, of struggling to accept that this was now his reality. Sasuke had no right, no right, to come into his life so suddenly, and undo the acceptance that had taken years to build, with a single, gorgeously haughty snarl.
"Ah, I'm sorry Naruto, I wish we were here on more pleasant business, like say, to enjoy your tea and pastries," Kakashi had said lightly, an edge of seriousness creeping into his voice. This was it. The facade was crumbling. It was time to get serious, though it was hard when Sasuke thought about Naruto making tea and pastries. For the umpteenth time, Sasuke had to shake his head and remind himself— a lot changes in eight years.
Naruto frowned and Sai sat down facing Sasuke and Kakashi.
"It's Tsunade."
Naruto stiffened so suddenly, as though somebody had slipped a cube of ice down his back. His cerulean eyes widened. Kakashi's face was devoid of any cheerfulness and the bastard stopped sneering, and the way he has said "It's Tsunade", it could only mean one thing. Something had happened. Something horrible.
The sinking feeling he had gotten upon seeing the bastard and Kakashi-sensei enter his home came back with a vengeance. His hand unconsciously rubbed his stomach; a habit he had picked up when he had first gotten pregnant. He bit the insides of his cheek.
"We are here to retrieve the next in line," Sasuke said plainly, without any embellished tones of remorse or sympathy. The roughness of the voice drove Naruto's innards cold.
He shook his head.
No, no.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO, NO, NO.
But the hooded look in those dark, dark eyes whispered, "Yes."
He slammed his hand over his mouth.
He can't scream. He can't. He won't.
His children, his precious, precious babies were outside.
He kept shaking his head.
No.
No.
Not Tsunade-baachan.
No.
Not the woman who had raised him like a mother.
Like a drunk, gambling, loser of a mother. But a mother nonetheless.
No.
"Naruto..." Kakashi's voice trailed off gently, at a lost for words. What do you say to make loss okay? Losing, losing people, it was one of those things that words couldn't mend. Words couldn't glue you back together here.
Naruto's knees, weakened from the blow, gave in. He slowly slid onto the floor, looking down, his messy turf of flaxen, covering his eyes. But the whitened knuckles from clenching so hard gave away the turmoil of emotions that must have been swirling in those blue, blue expressive eyes.
Sasuke disinterestedly noted how disgustingly effortlessly people fell apart.
The creep went over to the blonde, and wrapped his arms around him. He whispered words Sasuke couldn't decipher, but he could guess. Probably sickly sweet cliched phrases people who know nothing about losses tell others to alleviate their conscience. But it seems like the retard bought it, because he laid his head on Sai's shoulder and loosely unclenched his fists, wrapping them around the man. Sasuke had to look away, unable to witness such display of... weakness? Affection? Whatever you call it, Sasuke for some reason couldn't bear it. He glared outside. The shy girl giggled as her brother pushed sand on her dark hair. Eight years.
Sasuke closed his eyes and sighed deeply.
"Cease the dramatics," he growled, before turning his sharp glare to the huddled duo on the floor. "Pack your things. We're going," he boomed, without an iota of empathy. He could feel Kakashi's eye on him.
Naruto lifted his head from Sai's shoulder. His piercing blue eyes hardened with time glared right back with all their fury. Sasuke knew what to expect. The man got riled up. He's going to get off the floor, cease this display of apathy. He's going to explode, make an embarrassing scene in all his annoying, boisterous, eardrum-rupturing glory. Just like he always did.
"Get the fuck out of my house," he hissed, in a surprisingly low voice that made Sasuke blink, before he got up and calmly left the room.
"You heard him," Sai said without a hint of his usual misplaced amusement, before clambering up and following suit, like a puppy desperate for its owner's attention.
Sasuke stared in empty space, scowling.
This was not how the retrieval mission was supposed to go down.
He jerked forward, as he was slapped on the backside of his head. He moaned, turning about quickly with daggers in his eyes, as he saw Kakashi happily dipping the scones in the cooled tea.
"Talk to Naruto-chan, ne? Tell him the pastries are delicious," he said airily,with an eerie twinkle in his eye. Sasuke knew that conniving, death-promising twinkle all too well. It's the same twinkle Kakashi had in his eye after the Suna incident with the scroll eight some years ago. He growled as he slammed his fist on the table and looked away.
XXX
Sakura had changed a lot these past eight years.
Eight years is a long time. A lot happens in eight years.
Like say, your best friend gets pregnant by your long-time crush.
Common situation, I'm sure. I mean how many teen dramas centre on the ultimate best friend betrayal, where your bestie ends up sleeping with the boy you've crushed on for years? A lot, yes? But how often does it happen to be your very male best friend who ends up pregnant?
Yeah, a lot happens in eight years.
Like say, the two boys you've grown to love like brothers go out into hiding.
Sakura was no fool. You could call her a lot of things, but fool wasn't one of them. She was always the top of her class. She was brilliant— teachers always praised her, told her she was destined to do great things in the ninja world. So Sakura knew, even as a little girl, that as a kunoichi, she wasn't expected to live much older than thirty. She also knew that friends dropped like flies and that bonds weren't meant to last. Not in the outside world, and especially not in the ninja world. These were all things that Sakura knew. But where Sakura got foolish was that she did not anticipate, despite knowing all these things, how it fucking scalded to experience them.
Ripped. She felt like someone had torn her in half when she had to leave her agonized best friend's side that spring, seven years ago, to come back to Konoha, the village that unknowingly had caused him so much unwanted grief.
Tsunade had prohibited her from going back. She made her cut all contact, unless if Naruto or Sai really needed it. They were well settled in Suna. The Kazekage would take care of them— she needn't worry. But she did. Every second of every day.
She constantly thought about what they were doing. Was life treating them good? Were they adjusting? Did it feel different, all the way over there? Sometimes, in the midst of a long, tiring day, she'd gaze up at the burning sun, and remind herself that not too far away the same sun was shining down on the boy that shares her heart.
Yes, she loved her best friend with every inch of her. Flesh, skin and bones, and everything in between. She loved Naruto in a way she didn't and couldn't love anyone else. It wasn't a searing, romantic kind of love, not really. Romantic love was too bounded, too limited. And it wasn't the innate, unconditional love one has for one's parents or siblings. No, this love was different. This love made her heart clench constantly, with this dull ache, as opposed to the sharp agony that came with heartbreak.
And how do you cope with losing your best friends to unforeseeable circumstances?
Pure, unadulterated anger, that's how.
Sometimes, when Sakura stopped acting foolish, stopped pretending to be unaware, she knew she was being childish. She knew she was going overboard. But despite her sporadic bouts of awareness, Sakura just couldn't bring herself to stop.
She saw the way the dark-haired bastard clenched his jaw every time she snapped at him. She saw the murderous glares Sasuke launched her way, every time she threw a backhanded insult at him. She knew that it took every ounce of self-control for him to not lunge at her and strangle her blue.
But she couldn't stop. There was just too much anger boiling underneath her skin. So much rage, she had to physically restrain herself from quaking.
It's kind of funny. She used to love the man after all.
Somewhere between finding out about Naruto's pregnancy and realizing that, of all the people he confided in, he didn't come to her for help, it occurred to her that her long-held flame for the raven-haired sensei had been nothing but artificial. A schoolgirl's crush, really. He had been this beautiful, mysterious man that she had filled up with all her hopes and dreams, but ultimately her love for him was empty. The heart-sinking pain she felt knowing that her best friend, her brother didn't trust her with his secret on the other hand? That, that was real.
And when Naruto had to uproot his entire existence, bury all his dreams and exile himself in Suna, living like a ghost, Sakura had found someone to blame.
It was ridiculously easy to vilify the bastard. He was rude, borderline cruel. He didn't care for anything or anyone— or so he acted. He was unpleasant; even a spoon had more personality. And he got Naruto pregnant, treated him like a vile piece of garbage, ruined his life, and went about his own as though nothing had happened.
The not-pretending, logical part of her brain occasionally reasoned that, how could the man possibly act responsible, when he wasn't even aware of what he had done? When everyone collectively conspired to keep the truth from him? But that part was swiftly shut up by the much easier to deal with boiling heap of rage.
Sakura sighed. Kakashi and Uchiha-sensei were sent on a retrieval mission.
Eight years of hiding, lying and secrecy had boiled down to this.
She shook her head. Sasuke was going to find out. Naruto and Sai were going to come back. And while she'd be lying if she said her stomach wasn't fluttering in excitement every now and then at the thought of seeing her boys again, a part of her was dreading it. What had been the point? What had been the point of all the effort that had went into planning, hiding, executing? Eight long years. All for what?
She exhaled and shut her eyes.
No. Calm down.
Kakashi was there. He'd take care of things.
Yes, he would.
This was an emergency. Tsunade.
Oh God, Tsunade.
No amount of planning could have predicted this outcome of events.
The best laid plans of mice and men...
Sakura clutched the papers to her chest.
So it was confirmed.
She slumped on the chair placed next to Tsunade's bedside and stared emptily at her blank figure. Tsunade was a powerful woman. And unlike many figures of authority that Sakura had known in her lifetime, she was powerfully expressive. Every speck of happiness, or distress or anger, every little emotion showed on her face like a neon-lit sign. Maybe that's why she was so horrendous at poker. But now, her face was unnaturally blank, devoid of any emotion. Some people might say she looked at peace. But when Sakura stared, she didn't see peace, she saw unnerving emptiness.
The thing is, this all reeked of foul play. Obviously. The woman had been poisoned after all. But Sakura couldn't quite put her finger on it. This didn't just feel like a regular enemy village attack. No, this had the bitter sting of an inside job.
She lightly grazed the sensitive areas of her neck, where he had viciously grabbed her, choked her. The fists holding the lab results clenched. That man-beast-arrogant-asshole-Uchiha would pay. Dearly.
An innocent man couldn't have had such a violent reaction to her accusations... could he?
She shook her head.
She hated this. She hated this grey zone of kind of, almost, maybe knowing something, while at the same time knowing nothing at all.
She had rummaged through the Hokage's chamber, snooped through every drawer, scattering its contents about, madly searching for any clue that could possibly help. Tsunade had been poisoned. There had to be a source for this poison. It could be anything, really. And that's what was so frustrating. She had spent the past few days mentally going over every little detail of that fateful morning's event that Shizune had provided her with. She had sent samples after samples of countless items, including food, perfume, toothpaste and liquids to the lab, with a promise of a rough beating if the results didn't come promptly. The poor technicians, terrified out of their wits, ran every test imaginable.
And so it was, apparently, that there were very minute traces of poison in Tsunade's sake vile. So little that it couldn't have possibly done any serious damage to Hokage-sama. Sakura threw the papers in a fit of frustration and began roughly rubbing her temples. Yes, it couldn't have possibly done any serious damage... unless if Tsunade was continuously ingesting this poison in minute quantities over a long, long, long period of time. And you see, if that was the case, then this would mean that this incident wasn't just a freak attack by some rowdy, jealous village. No, this was a premeditated attack, that had probably taken years of planning. This also meant that someone was maybe, possibly poisoning Tsunade's sake reserves on a regular basis. And this is when Sakura's head really began throbbing. Because regular basis meant that someone who blended in perfectly in the village must have carried out this task. Namely, a villager. Or villagers. And then, Shino and Kiba, who were under Sasuke's direct orders, disappeared. Fuck.
An inside job. It reeked of it.
Those crazy, almost psychotic with rage, onyx eyes popped into her head.
Uchiha Sasuke.
It fit so perfectly.
However, the two most talented ninjas, the two men who would chiefly be responsible for conducting a proper investigation, Kakashi and the Uchiha bastard, were sent away on a retrieval mission. Why would you send both of your most gifted ninjas away when your village leader has been mysteriously and suddenly attacked? It was almost as if someone on the council had something to hide.
She was trembling. Sakura could admit, she was overwhelmed and terrified by the implications of all her contradicting, confusing findings.
But what Sakura would never admit was that a small part of her, deep inside, feverishly wished that she was completely wrong, that her beloved Uchiha-sensei was not behind this coup.
Yes, Sakura had changed a lot... and then not so much.
XXX
Naruto bit the inside of his cheek as he mustered every ounce of self-control to keep from hurling objects around and shrieking to the top of his lungs.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. , FUCK.
He nearly began pulling at his hair, but Sai grabbed his hands and held them to his chest. Normally, he would have struggled, pushed him away. He wasn't a child! He didn't need to be held down! But he couldn't focus on pushing Sai away because all he could think about was Sasuke.
Uchiha fucking Sasuke. In his fucking home. In his fucking living room. Having his fucking tea and fucking pastries.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. FUCKFUCKFUCKFUUUUUUUCK, FUCK.
That fucking bastard.
What gave him the right to rip his life to shreds and then come whirling back in his life like a hurricane the very second he began clinging to some semblance of normalcy?
And then there was Tsunade-baachan.
He shut his eyes. He will not cry. No, he will not cry.
Maybe things weren't as bad as he was imagining them? After all, Kakashi never said what happened to Tsunade; Sasuke had just said that the next in line was needed.
Naruto took a deep breath.
Calm, be calm.
Your children are outside.
Compose yourself.
He exhaled slowly.
"Leave us be," came the rough grunt that startled Naruto.
He had appeared soundlessly.
He was good at that, Naruto noted numbly. Appearing suddenly, without a warning. His appearance, so misleadingly subtle. Misleading, because when Sasuke left, you knew he had been there. He always left a wreckage behind.
Naruto glared with animosity, only to be surprised that Sasuke wasn't glaring back. He just looked almost... remorseful? But that couldn't be right. That behemoth was incapable of feeling remorse.
"I told you to get the fuck out of my house," Naruto spoke calmly, as he felt Sai's hold tighten around his arms in warning.
Sasuke raised an elegant brow in that frustratingly poised manner of his.
"Still running from your problems? You're not sixteen anymore, Uzumaki."
Sasuke crossed his arms on his chest, motioning with his head for Sai to leave.
The kitchen was terribly narrow and clustered. There was barely any room for two people, let alone two. The fridge ate up all the space, and the counter was so pitiful, it was a struggle to even cook a meal for four with it. The cheap, vinyl tiles were greyed and scissored with cracks. The place was a dump, and Naruto had to look away. He didn't want to be faced with that enraging, haughty sneer he knew so well.
Sai seemed to squeeze his arm, as if questioning if it was okay to leave the two of them alone.
No, Naruto thought wildly, it's not okay. Don't leave me!
His azure eyes pleaded, as he desperately looked into Sai's dark eyes.
But Sai slowly let go of his arms.
"It'll be okay," his soft, gentle gaze said.
"It's time to face this," the sudden, small pressure on his shoulder said.
"Don't worry. I'm still here," Sai's longing glance said, as he padded away.
His shoulder deliberately collided with a hostile thud! against Sasuke as he exited the kitchen.
Sasuke sneered, ready to knock the insolent boy's teeth out, until Kakashi's, "play nice, Saucy-chan!" rang clearly to the kicthen. What, was he a God-damned psychic? He gritted his teeth as he entered the kitchen. He didn't need to be told to play nice. He could control himself!
A moment of silence passed, as he awkwardly stood in the too-small kitchen, his body nearly touching Naruto's, who refused to look up.
"Haruno's with her," he bit out finally, grimacing. Having to resort to using the shemale's name to console overly dramatic ex-students? Ugh.
"How bad is it?" Naruto asked softly, all previous hostility suddenly dissipated. His blue eyes looked up hopefully, like a lost, wandering little boy who just found his mother in the store.
Sasuke sighed.
"Not good. She has been poisoned. She's in a coma. She might not recover," he spoke bluntly, without emotion, as if reciting a tamago kake gohan recipe.
Naruto swallowed and looked down. He tightened his arms around his chest. Like a little boy. A little, lost boy. Sasuke wasn't sure if he would breakdown again. He really didn't want to deal with weeping grown men. But when he looked up again, those crystalline blue eyes shone fiercely with determination— a look that for some strange, inexplicable reason no amount of time seemed to have erased from Sasuke's memory. Sasuke had to swallow to distract himself from the quaint warmth creeping in the pit of his stomach.
"I'm not going back."
"It's your responsibility," Sasuke replied plainly, yet again raising his eye brow.
"Says who?" Naruto muttered, looking to the side.
Sasuke couldn't believe his ears. He took back what he had previously thought. He hadn't matured one bit. For all the physical changes eight years had brought upon, this person before him was no more closer to being a man than back when he was his subordinate.
"What are you five, you retard?" Sasuke hissed, impatience getting the better of him. "You're next in line!" he growled, struggling not to yell.
"So?" Naruto sniffed, like an insolent child.
"So, you total utter moron," Sasuke began, clenching his jaw, "Being next in line means you have to go back to the village when our current leader is incapacitated and assume your duties."
Who decided that it was a good idea for Sasuke to be the one to try to convince this dense retard to come back to the village anyways? What were they smoking? They should get fired promptly. Sasuke could feel that vein on his forehead throb back to life.
"I'm not next in line," Naruto stubbornly pouted.
"Yes. You. Are," Sasuke spoke in a condescendingly slow fashion, as if talking to a four year-old who can't grasp big words when uttered too fast.
"No, I'm not," the blonde insisted, his blue eyes blazing.
Why couldn't he just leave him alone? Why couldn't he return to his God-forsaken village and continue his stupid captain-of-ANBU duties and just let him be? Was that too much to ask? To be left alone?
"Yes, you are," Sasuke bit out through gritted teeth.
This time, he took a step forward, almost pressing himself flush against Naruto. He fisted the neckline of his robes, yanking him forward in an intimidating manner.
His breath ghosted against Naruto's lips. Naruto's eyes widened, pink flushing his cheeks at the sudden unexpected closeness. He looked away, mentally chastising himself for the heat mounting to his face that shouldn't have been there. He was not a prepubescent boy! What was wrong with him? The fists clenched harder against the soft fabric
"That was... long ago," Naruto suddenly whispered, the proximity to his ex-Sensei making him increasingly uncomfortable. He vaguely wondered where all his rage went? Where did all his fight go?
"You know what? Stay," the raven-haired ninja spat, roughly shoving the blonde against the counter, before letting go. "The village needs a Hokage who is man enough to confront his problems."
Naruto swiftly regained his balance and pushed the bastard back with enough force that the house momentarily shook when Sasuke collided with the wall.
"Don't! Don't talk to me about being man enough," Naruto boomed, his eyes narrowed to dangerous slits.
Sasuke knocked Naruto's hands off of him and sized him up with a calculating gaze.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing! Nothing," Naruto snarled, running his hand through the messy turf of his hair in an agitated manner— the way he always used to, and Sasuke just stared at him suspiciously. Why get so volatile over a comment about not being man enough...?
"You fucking coward," Sasuke tried, and then he smirked viciously, "Won't sacrifice your pretty little family life for the sake of your village?"
Sasuke would have expected some childish insult, some petty yelling or even a petulant storming-off session. He did not however expect Naruto to grab his collar roughly and violently shove him against the wall. He pushed him so forcefully, a few bowls fell out of the cupboards and clattered messily on the floor.
"You know NOTHING about sacrifice! Nothing!" he seethed, his once-blue eyes now scorching violet. Sasuke grabbed at the fists and tried to pry them away, but they wouldn't budge. The sheer heat radiating off of the blonde felt vaguely familiar. He half-expected the boy to grow those monstrous demon-fangs.
"Saucy-chan?" that sadistic Kakashi called out in singsong.
"W... What?" Sasuke growled, as he managed to kick Naruto in the shin, hard. The flaxen-haired ninja tumbled to the other side and Sasuke doubled over, trying to catch his breath.
Those oh so familiar intense onyx eyes glared right at him, through a veil of black bangs.
"Come. Back. To. K-Konoha," Sasuke gasped through lungfuls of air.
When Naruto gazed up, his eyes were so blue, it was almost as if Sasuke had imagined the whole colour-changing affair. But Sasuke's face remained impassive and Naruto had to choke out a laugh at this impossible, unnerving, blood-boiling asshole-of-a-man's insistence.
And so he slapped a hand to his mouth, as he sat on the floor, manhandled, probably bruised (though Kyuubi would certainly quickly take care of that), heartbroken over his life, over Tsunade-baachan and just laughed humorlessly.
Sasuke just stared, without judgement or condescension. He just stared, and Naruto just laughed, but really he only wanted to curl up in a ball and sob until he had to succumb to unconsciousness.
"I have to be honest, I really thought I'd never see your face again," he confessed once the laughter died down. He looked up, his expressive blue eyes shimmering with such sincerity, Sasuke had to take a moment to stand up straight.
"Did that..." Sasuke began, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly, "Upset you?"
Sasuke cleared his throat.
Wow. What a dumb fucking question.
Naruto dropped his gaze, and let out a deep exhale he didn't know he was keeping in.
"I did," Sasuke began quickly, before Naruto could answer, surprising himself. Why was he still speaking? Did he suddenly have Tourette's? "Not... always, but mostly, I knew this day would come."
"Yeah, me too," Naruto replied, so softly, almost like he didn't say anything at all.
Sasuke raised an eyebrow. Wasn't he contradicting what he had just said not even two minutes ago?
Yeah, me too.
Because he had known. He had always known.
Even when that fateful night he knocked on Sai's door, bags packed, ready to turn his back to Konoha, to his hometown, to his everything. He had known it was not a forever thing. He had known somehow that leaving Sasuke behind was not a forever thing.
It was weird and inexplicable, and deep down inside Naruto knew that he should feel guilty for the warm swirls twisting in his stomach when Sasuke locked his dark-as-nightfall eyes with his, and they shared a weighty moment of just knowing.
"Oy, Saucy-chan! Bring some more tea!" the too-cheerful voice sliced through the heavy silence like knife in butter.
Sasuke looked away, breaking the trance and growled, "Get it yourself, damn bastard!"
Sasuke glanced at him, all trace of hardness gone from his usually gorgeous, angry, angry eyes.
"I'm glad you're not a cadaver," they said, as they stayed a moment too long on Naruto's sunken figure.
Naruto smiled weakly, for the first time since the duo's whirlwind entrance into his home.
"Thanks," his broken smile said.
"I don't want a coward who can't face his demons as Hokage," Sasuke said, his piercing stare cutting through all of Naruto's defences. "But come back just to be by Tsunade's side. You owe her that much," he finished, before stalking away.
Naruto gulped the lump down his throat.
He knew he could never live with himself if... if Tsunade... and he never took the chance to properly say goodbye... The guilt would consume him raw, eat him alive. From the moment Tsunade's name had left Kakashi's masked-covered lips, Naruto had known he'd have to go back to that dreaded place. There was no way his conscience would allow otherwise.
And he wished that he could say that the only reason he'd consider returning to that damned village was because Tsunade-baachan was gravely ill. But as he wistfully followed that angry man angrily stomp out of his kitchen, with his angry garments billowing angrily around him, Naruto knew within the pits of his being that Tsunade was far from being the only reason.
Naruto sighed and placed his hand over his eyes.
Oh God.
Perhaps, even eight years and miles apart didn't change certain things...
Naruto banged his head against the cupboard.
Fuck me.
XXX
Dear beautiful duckies,
HAPPY HOLIDAYS, BROOOOS!
I hope you had a lovely 2010, and will have an even lovelier 2011.
P.S. You guys are the best bunch ever. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thaaaaaaaaank youuuuuuuu for all your kind words. I should so chop off my limbs in gratitude, yes? And promptly mail my bloody amputated appendages to all of you!
A special thanks to thetwistedtruth , my gorgeous soulmate who I had the pleasure of spending the best six days ever with this summer. She also kicked my rear into gear and told me to dream about "Disenchanted" with the word "complete" next to it.
& to fanficlunatic234 for your very encouragingly sweet review/PM.
& crzyanimemom for being the best cheerleader ever. (I also happen to be a cheerleader. Maybe we can swap techniques? (: )
DFTBA! (: