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"He wrote a book about you?" Lorelai says, looking up from the letter.
"Yeah, he did." Rory nods. "It's a book of memories I guess you could say." Memories and explanations, but she's not ready to show her mother the book just yet, in fact; she doesn't want anyone else to read the book at all. The idea of the book, their book, being available for anyone in bookstores makes her feel uncomfortable. She doesn't want to share this with anyone, anyone besides Jess that is.

"Keep reading." She says, hoping her mother will pick up on her unwillingness to share the book. She probably shouldn't keep the book from her mother after the 'no more hiding things away' decision, but this isn't hiding the book away; hopefully her mother will understand.
"It's not that I don't want to show you the book, it's just…he wrote the book, and he sent it to me before it came out in any bookstores, before anyone else could buy it and read it…I'm just not ready to share that with anyone yet."

Lorelai smiles towards her.
"It's okay, you'll show it when you're ready, and if you'll never feel ready – that's okay too." She says and then shifts her attention back to the letter.

When finished reading Lorelai puts the letter down and wipes her eyes from some stray tears she hasn't been able to hold back.
"He's good with the words that one."
Rory nods, confirming.

"The letter seems to be pretty clear on the 'moving on' part." Lorelai says with a sorry look on her face.
Rory nods again.
"Yeah, there's no twisting the words or finding hidden meanings. He's moved on, simple as that."
"And the book…" Lorelai says hesitatingly, as if she knows she's stepping on forbidden ground.
"The book ends shortly after the night at Truncheon, nothing about moving on or the future in there." The book did picture a future Jess as an old man, living alone with his memories, but it didn't mention anything about what happened to the man between their meeting at Truncheon and the man's meeting with the boy.

"I could ask Luke to talk to him if you want. Get a hint about what this moving on thing really means." Lorelai says in a tone that shows she doesn't really believe in the idea.
Rory shakes her head.
"No. I made my choice that night when I walked out from Truncheon, and now I have to live with the consequences."
Lorelai nods and they both sit in silence, staring at the floor.

"You know he would have left anyway." Rory suddenly says and Lorelai looks up.
"Jess?" She asks, even though there's no doubt who Rory's talking about.
"Yeah. He didn't leave because people in this town didn't like him. He was failing school, he wouldn't have graduated, he probably felt that he had let Luke down, and his father had showed up, there was just so much else going on with him at the time, I don't think he had time to worry about what the town thought about him."

"But still." Lorelai shrugs her shoulders. "I wish I had been nicer to him." She darts her head up and then turns to Rory with an excited and hopeful glance in her eyes.
"You haven't had your phone turned on since that morning you told me you couldn't get married. Maybe Jess has tried to call you."

A glimpse of hope flitters through her heart. Her mother is right; the most logical thing for Jess to do if he wanted to talk to her would be to call her. But her phone has been turned off, maybe that's why he hasn't contacted her since finding out that she cancelled the wedding. Maybe he has left her a message. A message telling her that he was wrong about moving on, that he has changed his mind, that he wants them to be together.

She impatiently starts searching for her phone. She can't remember where she saw it last. She must have turned it off when she got home that morning – and then what? Where had she put it?

"Here" Her mother hands her the phone. "You left it in the kitchen."
"Thanks." She says and smiles, the first genuine smile she's been able to master since she opened that package.
Lorelai smiles back.
"I'll go make us some breakfast. I think Luke left something breakfast-like in the fridge before he went to work, I'll see if I can heat it up." She gets up and leaves the room, but Rory hardly notices, she's busy staring at her phone as it starts up.

She has two new text messages and three new voicemails. She's a bit surprised, she had thought there would be more. She guesses her mother must have either done a good job explaining to people or strongly advised them not to call her.

She starts by looking at the texts. They're both from Logan. The first was sent not long after she had told Lorelai that she wanted to cancel the wedding.

Your mother just told me you changed your mind and don't want to get married. What's going on here Ace? Why is your phone turned off? Call me as soon as you see this.

She takes a deep sigh and tries to hold back the tears that are threatening to escape her eyes. He must have felt such confusion, she should have told him herself. The weight of the guilt almost overpowers her; she should have told him. But it's too late now.

His next text is sent some hours later, probably right after she heard him yelling and talking to her father outside.

I'm standing right outside your mother's house. Please come out and talk to me. I love you.

She tries not to think about how he must have felt; standing out there, not knowing what was going on or what was going to happen. To divert her thoughts she calls her voicemail to listen to the messages left there.

The automated voice tells her that the first message was left only minutes prior to the text from Logan.

"Please Rory, tell me this is some kind of sick joke." It's Logan's voice, he sounds scared. "Your mother came her and told me you're cancelling the wedding." His tone is now questioning, as if he can't really believe what's happening. "And now you won't answer your phone? What is this? What's going on?"

At least it sounded like her mother had gone there and told him in person. She doesn't feel quite as bad, but again; she should have told him, not her mother. She skips to the next message.

"Rory" It's Honor's voice, it sounds confused and worried. "I just spoke with Logan, he…" Rory presses the button to skip this voicemail and move on to the next. Honor's voice painfully reminds her of the number of people besides Logan she has let down the last couple of days.

"You could at least have had the decency to tell me yourself, to my face." It's Logan's voice again, drunk. Judging by the time this message was left it was several hours after their talk. "You should have told me. To. My. Face. You, Rory, not your mother."

He's right. He's the first one to tell her out loud what she's been telling herself ever since she woke up the first time on the day that was supposed to be her wedding day: she should have been the one to tell him.

She hears him take a gulp of something before he continues. "She never liked me. Your mother. I saw the look on her face when I asked her for your hand. Hell, I saw the look on her face when you said yes."

He laughs a short, bitter laugh before he continues. "That was not the answer she was hoping for, let me tell you that. Not the answer she wanted, nope. Not the son-in-law she wanted. Guess she's happy now." She hears him take another gulp of whatever it is he's drinking. Probably not water. "What about this other guy, huh? The guy you love? The guy you never, ever ever let go off. Does Lorelai like him? Does the mighty Lorelai approve? Bet she does. I bet everyone was very supportive of your choice."

He makes another pause and she hears him downing several gulps before he continues his monolog. "Logan Huntzberger – the screw up, the black sheep of the otherwise immensely respectable, upstanding Huntzberger family. Close call Gilmore."

There's a long pause and she can hear him take several deep breaths before he continues. "I love you Rory." He's crying now. "I love you so much."

Voices are heard in the background and seconds thereafter it sounds like someone's struggling with Logan to take the phone away from him.
"I love you Rory!" She hears Logan yelling from a distance and at the same time she hears Colin's voice talking in an accusing tone to someone.
"You were supposed to watch him."
"I was, but there was this red-head at the bar." It's Finn's voice. At least Logan's not alone, although she doubts Colin's and Finn's abilities to be comforting and understanding.

A lot of noises are heard, drowning out most of their voices.
"Take his phone!" Finn's voice is heard over the turmoil and a few seconds later she hears Colin's voice close to the speaker as he says: "Sorry, wrong number", in a formal tone before he hangs up.

An automated voice follows, telling her that there are no more messages.

She tries to remember her father's words; "you did the right thing here", she knows she did. Marrying Logan while she was still in love with Jess would have been nothing but cruel to both of them. "He'll feel better eventually", she really hopes he will. She takes a deep sigh, 'he will feel better, I did the right thing', she repeats that sentence a few times in her head, trying to convince herself.

"Breakfast's ready." Lorelai looks at her with a questioning and hopeful look on her face. Rory shakes her head in response. Her mother makes a sad face.
"I'm sorry honey."
"It's okay." She says, although she feels anything but okay.

Jess hadn't left a message. She needs to stop doing this to herself. With every time her hope raises the fall back into reality gets harder.

Why can't her mind grasp the fact that he has moved on? Why is it so hard for her to understand? Why does her heart have to keep whispering 'maybe, maybe' to that stubborn feeling of hope?

How do you do it? How do you move on? Do you just wake up one day and decide it's time to let go off the past and move on? She wishes she could call Jess and ask him how he'd done it. If you're really able to totally let go of a person, if you can move on without ever looking back – was it really love? The old man in the book said that his heart was still broken, did that mean that Jess' heart was still broken? If it was, how could he move on?

She sighs and walks out into the kitchen to have breakfast with her mother. Some thoughts better be left alone, to prevent yourself from going crazy.