We share a quick glance before he wearily enters the doorway. In this quick moment I feel the weight of nine years of unanswered questions that have weighed so heavy on me suddenly become glaringly relevant. It's not too late. I can tell him that I can't do this, go on with the rest of my life with the same haunting thoughts that have so long consumed me.

He's careful with his eyes. I feel them on me for just a moment before they fall to study the grains in my hardwood. I shut the door, and with the momentary comfort of my back shielding me from his gaze, I shut my eyes.

You can do this, Elena. You can do this.

With a sharp intake of breath, I turn back around on my heels and face my undoing once again. I tilt my neck, signaling for Damon to follow me as I lead us both in the direction of the kitchen.

I stop at the island and motion for him to take a seat at the small dining table positioned in the far right corner of the kitchen. Full length windows line the small alcove, allowing the cloud covered sunlight to pour in.

"Would you like something to drink?" Our eyes meet, and I feel as though every nerve ending in my body is a live wire. There's something about his piercing eyes that have a way of penetrating me to the core.

"A water would be nice, thank you." He acknowledges with a slight nod.

I steal a glance as I begin to pour the water, Damon's intently focused on something outside the window as he brushes his fingers through his wind blown, unruly hair. Goodness, puberty was good to him. Damon was always a good looking boy, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't harbor a crush for him all the years we'd been best friends, but he is a man now. And he is flawless. Stubble now frames his defined jawline, and don't even get me started on those eyes. My anger subsides just slightly as I watch him... he is so painfully handsome.

A cooling sensation pooling around my hand snaps me from my trance. Crap! I pour the overflowed glass into the empty one and make my way toward the table.

"Thank you." He reaches for the glass and his fingers brush against mine.

Get a grip, Elena.

There's no reason he should have this effect on me. This is the same Damon I'd built extensive blanket forts with, who I played dress up with, the same Damon who protected me from my father. I shouldn't be over analyzing every mere glance of his as though it holds some sort of untold significance. It doesn't. I should be cursing him, telling him I want nothing to do with him, Yet, here we are.

Damon takes a sip of his drink, "I know there is no explanation that could possibly suffice right now, but I need you to know that I thought of you every day. I fought with myself over when the right time to call you was but-" He clears his throat. "It just never seemed right. I prayed that my absence was the push you needed to fight your demons and turn your life around. I knew you would... I'm just- I am so sorry Elena."

The words leave his lips so effortlessly, a complete contradiction to the emotions that are welling up inside of me as a result. The sincerity in both his tone and his eyes are so genuine. I sip my drink, hoping to resolve the lump that has now formed in the back of my throat and I swallow hard, searching for the right words.

"Damon, I'm not going to lie to you and say that everything is okay, and that everything was fine when you left. You were my single anchor, holding me here in reality. If it weren't for you all of those years, I don't think I would be here today. You saved me Damon, everyday that we spent together you saved me. And to this day I struggle to find the words to repay you because no combination of words strewn together could ever embody how much you truly meant to me."

My eyes drift to the tiled floor below my feet, and I am silently warring with myself over why I chose to do this now, why I am about open the floodgates of my emotions that have been locked away for so many years. I open my mouth to finish my thought, but I am cut off.

"I never did any of that for you to repay me. Everything that I did, I did for you Elena.. and given the chance I would do it all over in a heartbeat. No relationship since could ever amount to the friendship we shared. I made a promise to myself that I'd keep you safe, and for eight years I did just that. I just want you to know that you haven't been the only one suffering these nine years."

His voice trails off, and I begin to understand the full magnitude of that loaded last sentence. So he did think of me. I wonder how often. I wonder if he felt the same painful aching in his heart as I did.

I take a sharp intake of breath, and hold it for a moment before I exhale slowly to ease my nerves. "You know, whenever I'd find myself thinking of you I always imagined you successful with some job that you love, one where you could showcase the empathy that I'm convinced is somewhere coded in your DNA. I found hope knowing that you wouldn't let your nurturing ways go to waste."

"Am I that easy to decipher?" He raises an eyebrow. "I've been an E.R Doctor for 6 months now back in Colorado. But I just got an incredible job offering here, and hence, here I am." A soft smile eases against his lips.

"That's incredible. You really do deserve it. Which hospital, if you don't mind me asking?"

"I begin at Northwest Hospital this coming Monday."

I nearly collapse in my chair, any sense of composure that I was able to muster up since Damon walked through my front door is now gone completely. "Northwest?" I question breathily. Of course that's what he said, but I question just to be sure. I feel my breathing becoming erratic, and I chew the inside of my bottom lip as I patiently wait for confirmation.

His eyes narrow at the apparent change in my demeanor. "Yes. The one and only Northwest."

Great. Well, at least I know my hearing is a-okay!

"Gosh it really is a small world. I just got a job as a receptionist at 'the one and only Northwest' a few months back." I watch his crystal blue eyes open wide as he takes a small sip from his drink. "E.R Department..." I finish guardedly as Damon just about chokes on his water.

"You could say that again.. it definitely got a whole lot smaller today."

All I can manage is a nod in response. I'm too busy trying to read Damon's expression. Is he angry about this information, excited, pensive, worried? I search his expression long and hard, but he's guarded. I don't blame him, here we are after an absence of nine years to both find out we'll be seeing quite a bit of each other. His words bring me back from my hopeful imagination.

"Well, I've really gotta get to unpacking. But you'll show me the ropes, right?" He has a sweet smile planted against his lips as picks himself up from the table; I follow behind him.

"Of course." My generic response is that last words we utter until we reach the door.

He turns to face me, and a look I have never seen washes across his face. He seems to be deep in thought, his brows furrowed just slightly, but before I have time to deduce his expression, he reaches his arms out and envelops me in a tight embrace. Memories quickly flood my brain, I feel as safe in his arms today as I did all those years ago, but this time I do not want to let go in fear that it will be another nine years until I feel this same comfort. I pull away from his body reluctantly, and find his eyes which now show no signs of hesitation as they had just moments before.

"It was great seeing you, Elena. I'm looking forward to seeing more of you." He turns the handle and steps out into the cool, fresh air.

"Likewise, Damon. See you Monday." I close the door behind him, and exhale loudly, the weight of a two ton boulder finally lifting from me. Thoughts of Monday begin to prick at me, as I play through different scenarios in my mind. This is going to be a long three days.

From the bottom of my heart I apologize for how long it has taken me to update this fic, but I guess you could say that life got in the way. It's been a very stressful and difficult few months for me, and I thank you so much for your patience. I'm actually working on Chapter 5 as we speak, and I'm hoping it will be up extremely soon (possibly even today!). I hope you enjoy this chapter, as I am so excited with where I'm going to be taking this. I hope you don't mind a slow build, but don't worry it will all pay off. Don't forget to drop me a line- I truly love your input more than anything.

XOXO,

Alyssa