Chapter 27

Somehow they'd managed to find a second spot and raise a new firebreak against the flames. Zuko barely remembered doing any of it. All he could think of was Toph. What was he going to do? Promise not to die? Promise not to take any chances? He couldn't do that.

He'd never seen himself as a reckless person, at least not in the time since he'd joined Aang. He never took foolish risks. The job of Fire Prince wasn't nearly as dangerous as soldier or deep sea fisherman or miner. He'd just had a run of bad luck lately with the kidnapping and Deizhoun's lightning attack and this fire. Oh, and the run-in with the dissidents, but he'd gotten through all of it just fine.

Appa set down on the beach at Tuzai and the four of them dismounted, Toph still clinging to Zuko's hand. Aang looked pointedly over at Zuko, then said, "That was some job. Katara, how about we push our departure out a day or so to get over it?"

"Sounds good. I'm going to want a nice long bath and a good supper and a soft bed," Katara replied, looking at Zuko with 'hint hint' in her eyes. "I'll feel a whole lot better in the morning."

I get it, I get it, Zuko wanted to say aloud but held his tongue. Instead, he said, "Then we'll see you guys sometime after breakfast tomorrow." Toph also added her good nights and the two of them walked back to the beach house.

Once inside, he ran her a nice deep tub of water and bended it nice and hot, then sent her in to wash off the soot and dust from the day's efforts. "I'll get us something to eat," he said, giving her a gentle push into the bathing room.

After a half hour or so, Toph appeared in the kitchen, wrapped in a thick robe, her wet hair hanging down her back. "Your turn," she said with a smile, giving him a little shove of her own.

Inside the large bathing room, he passed up the warmth of a bath in favor of a shower. Outside, a large cistern collected rainwater, pumping it through the pipes to either the bath or a small corner shower. Bathwater could be heated by bending or on the stove in the kitchen, but the shower was always cool, and cool sounded good to him.

He turned on the water, then placed his hands against the wall and leaned in, eyes closed, letting the water stream over his head and back, washing the soot and tension off of him.

Water streamed down his face like cool tears. He reached up to wipe his eyes and noticed Toph was standing in the doorway, watching him with a troubled look on her face. "What is it, sweetie?" he asked.

She walked toward him and he cut off the water so she wouldn't get wet. "You're burned," she said softly. She ran a careful finger around the skin of his neck where his shirt stopped. He looked down at his arms and shoulders. Sure enough, the skin that hadn't been covered by his clothing was redder and looked sunburned. It didn't hurt at all though. In fact, he hadn't even noticed. Getting burned was a firebender hazard and not one he paid much attention to.

"Don't worry," he said easily. "I heal fast. You won't even be able to see that by morning."

She still looked at him sadly, then put her arms around him gently, as if afraid her touch would be painful.

"I'm fine," he repeated. Then he gave a little laugh. "And you're getting wet," he added.

"I don't care," she answered. "Water doesn't bother me."

"Since when?" he teased. "I'll have to take you swimming tomorrow if water doesn't bother you anymore."

She laughed a little in return and let him go. "Finish your shower," she said. "I'm hungry."

After she'd left the room again, he turned the water back on and finished washing up, aware this time that the sting of the spray was indeed a little more pronounced on his face and neck.

They had a nice, quiet dinner. As if by unspoken agreement, neither of them brought up the events of the day or the future. Instead they talked about the past; their childhoods, their first meeting as kids, their adventures after the war ended.

When night drew on fully, they went to bed. Zuko was fully prepared to go to sleep. After the emotional bomb she'd dropped earlier, he figured she was absolutely not going to be in the mood for anything romantic. Toph surprised him, however.

She pushed him onto his back and propped up on her elbow to look at him. Then she began to trace his features with her fingertips, like she was memorizing him. Then she kissed him softly. As fiery and passionate as their time had been that morning, that evening they were careful and tender with each other. They finally fell into an exhausted sleep.

In the night, Toph dreamed she was standing in a rocky plain, nothing but rocks and dirt as far as she could feel. Out of nowhere, a huge wall of rock rose up before her as thick and tall as the outer wall of Ba Sing Se. She looked up the wall, but it reached so high she could barely feel the top. Then without a sound, the wall began to fall toward her.

She tried to earthbend it back away from her, but she had absolutely no effect on it. In her dream she began to run, trying to outdistance it before it crushed her. She tried again to earthbend, trying to punch a hole through it or hold even the smallest section back away from her, but it was no use. The stone wall could have been made of ice for all the effect she was having on it.

Her heart pounded as the stone came closer and closer, falling silently down over her. Then the ground began to shake beneath her and she heard someone calling her name.

She awoke with a start to feel Zuko shaking her shoulder and calling to her. But the bed itself was shaking as if there was an earthquake in progress.

"Toph, stop bending!" Zuko called to her. "You're having a nightmare."

She realized she was indeed still earthbending, and the instant she stopped, the room went completely still. She glanced around to see stone floor tiles thrust up out of their settings wildly, dust falling from the ceiling and walls.

"Are you okay, sweetie?" Zuko asked with concern.

"Yes, I'm fine," she managed, as she took a deep breath. "Did I tear up the entire house?"

"Only a little bit," he teased, pulling her into his arms. "Nothing you can't fix with one hand tied behind your back."

She took another deep, shuddering breath, the terror of her dream still utmost in her mind.

"Want to tell me about it?" he asked, her voice rumbling in his chest as she rested against him. She could hear his own heart beating a little rapidly.

She felt so embarrassed. She hadn't earthbended in her sleep since she was a little girl. "I'm so sorry," she began.

"Hey, nothing to be sorry about, sweetie," Zuko kissed her forehead and continued to hold her as they lay back down again. In the warmth of his embrace, the terror began to let go until soon she couldn't even remember what she'd dreamed.

She didn't watch his meditation the next morning—at least not where he could see her. After breakfast, they decided to take a walk around the village to see the changes being made. They ran into Yung, who was more than happy to show them around.

"The village across the mountain is being resettled as well," Yung informed them.

They decided to get Aang and Katara and see how the village was coming along. The other couple was happy to go along, expressing interest in seeing the Fire Temple where Zuko and Toph had made their vows originally.

As they walked, they separated into two groups so each could talk freely.

"What is wrong with you?" Katara asked Toph bluntly the moment the men were out of earshot.

"What do you mean?" Toph responded.

"I mean you look like somebody died," Katara replied, adjusting Bumi in his carrier on her back. "And I'm not making light of all the stuff that happened yesterday."

Toph sighed. "I just don't know how to tell him, Katara," she began.

"Tell him what?"

"That I can't do this anymore," Toph answered pitifully.

"Do what?" Katara asked, concern evident in her voice.

"I don't know if I can be with him," Toph replied. "It hurts too much."

"What are you talking about?"

Toph took a deep breath. Finally she decided that saying aloud was easier than trying to hold her fears inside. "I'm afraid I'll have to see Zuko die. Yesterday scared me so bad I don't think I can do it again," Toph answered sadly. "Its like when Deizhoun killed him. I thought I was going to go insane and he was still alive."

"I am completely confused," Katara's voice carried a layer of frustration. She'd never seen Toph in such a pitiful state.

Toph explained how Deizhoun's lightning bolt had stopped Zuko's heart and how she'd somehow managed to start it again with earthbending. "Katara, when I thought he was going to die, I lost my mind for a little while. Yung said an hour went by before I dropped that glass tower. I don't remember any of that. It scares me." Katara nodded and asked her to continue.

"Then yesterday, I couldn't see anything but his heart slowing down so badly—almost to stopping. I had no idea what he was doing. I can't see fire at all. Apart from the noise and the heat I got nothing from it. I just don't think I can deal with that. I couldn't see it and I couldn't help. It was terrifying," Toph explained. "He gets into these situations that I can't do anything about. All I can do is wait and watch and pray I don't see his heart stop again."

The two walked on in silence for a few minutes, then Katara turned to Toph. "Aang's element is invisible to me too," she said. "I can hear it and feel it, but I can't see it the way he can. When he's airbending, I just have to trust him. Does Zuko trust you when you're earthbending?"

Toph remembered their trip through the tunnel under the mountain. "I think he does," she answered thoughtfully. It had to have been dark in there. He couldn't see the earth any more than she could see fire.

"Don't forget," Katara continued, "I'm married to the Avatar. He's gotten himself killed too. I'll never forget how awful it was to bring him out of those caves under Ba Sing Se. We were just kids, but I loved him then. If I hadn't had the spirit water, Aang would be dead, killed in the Avatar state, and there would be no more Avatars."

Seeing that she had Toph's attention, Katara continued to press her point. "Do you know how many times Suki has wondered if Sokka would come back from his latest fishing trip alive?" she asked. "He's been missing at sea at least three times, driven off course by storms. Once he and the Duke were even shipwrecked. You aren't the only woman who wonders if her man will make it home in one piece."

"How do you do it then?" Toph asked angrily. "How do you let them go, knowing something awful could happen to them? How do you keep loving them, knowing that if they die, a huge part of you will die too?"

"That's what love is, Toph," Katara answered. "There aren't any guarantees in life. Love is all we can count on."

Katara stopped and faced Toph, taking her by both hands. "If Aang got killed tomorrow," she said seriously, "the only way I could let him go would be if I knew that I'd loved him every second of his life with everything I had. I would have no regrets that he died thinking maybe I was holding back on him. You made that same promise to Zuko—twice. Out of everything, your love is all he can count on."

Toph walked on deep in thought.

Then Katara added, "And when he does die—sometime in the distant future—there's no better gift he could receive than knowing you are right there with him, loving him to the end, no matter what."

Katara looked up ahead to the two men walking along in the distance, her eyes fixed on Aang. "Love isn't easy, but it is worth it."

Up ahead, Zuko didn't quite know how to begin to ask Aang the question that was nagging at him, so they discussed all kinds of other things. Finally, Aang, in his infinite perceptiveness asked him what was on his mind so heavily.

"Toph keeps looking at me like I'm going to die," Zuko began. "I keep catching her with this sad look in her eyes."

"Oh, you mean that look like she's never going to see you again?" Aang replied, pulling at a branch that had fallen across the path.

"Yeah, that one," Zuko agreed.

"All girls do that sometimes. Just be extra sweet for a little bit and she'll get over it and start ordering you around again," Aang answered knowledgeably. "She was pretty mad yesterday because she was so scared. It probably wasn't a very good idea to let her know that what scared her was a real head rush for you."

Zuko nodded. He thought about it for a few minutes as they walked, then they went back to discussing whether or not they could possibly surf off the point.