A/N: Special thanks to my wonderful friend and beta Pendragon2601 for letting me borrow her character Alexandra. She also owns Ivy, who we will meet later. They will be making a cameo appearance in this story but really they belong in 'The Affairs of the Heart', which some of you may have read already. If you haven't, go check it out!

The Ones We Lose

An increasingly familiar rocking motion gently coaxed Zia back into consciousness. Her thoughts were so fuzzy and jumbled that she could not distinguish one from another. She held perfectly still for a few moments whilst her brain caught up and assessed her situation. She was leaning back against something solid and cold. There was almost complete silence apart from the breathing of whatever she was leaning against and the steed beneath her. Her nostrils filled with the tangy scent of metal and the unmistakeable salty smell that she immediately placed as sweat. Her mouth felt dry and her throat was sore. She remembered a lot of shouting before she'd lost consciousness.

As she started to crack her eyes open, a little voice in the back of her head advised her against doing so, insisting that she would not like what she saw. She was half-tempted to heed the voice's warning but she needed to be aware of where she was and who was behind her.

The first thing that greeted her eyes was a pure white mane. Her fingers crept forward almost of their own accord to stroke the silky strands and hold them in front of her face. She had never seen snow, only heard of it, but this was the colour she imagined it to be. Something hovered at the edge of her mind, impatiently waiting to be acknowledged. The colour that filled her vision was familiar but she couldn't recall where she'd seen it before.

A voice next to her ear made her start. "It's alright, you're safe."

"Peter? I – I mean… Your Majesty?" As her brain began to sluggishly drag itself out of the darkness, a few pieces fell into place. The hair between her fingers belonged to Peter's unicorn and the reason he felt so cold behind her was because he was still wearing his armour.

"Don't try to talk," murmured the High King. "I'm taking you back to Cair Paravel. We'll look after you there."

It suddenly occurred to her that it was Peter's arms she had fallen into before everything had switched off. "Thank you," she whispered.

Peter said nothing.

She turned her head, wincing at the stab of pain in her stiff neck, to look to her left. There were only trees, clustered in a mass of green, on that side. Upon examining the scenery to the other side of her she found it to be much the same but for the concerned brown eyes of a Centaur.

"Davlon?" she croaked.

"Zia," Davlon sighed, relief plain in his deep voice. "How do you feel?"

"I… I'm not really sure," she said. Her own voice was muffled in her ears; both she and Davlon sounded like they were under water. "Where am I, Davlon? What happened?" Davlon's shoulders shifted as he walked and his eyes wouldn't meet hers. "Davlon?"

The Centaur chose his words carefully. "King Peter came to defend the Grove from the enemy. Do you remember?"

Zia searched through the murky pool that was her memories and managed to bring an image of the Minotaur to the surface. She gasped and shuddered, shaking her head to make it go away.

"I remember the Minotaur," she told him slowly, pausing as details of the events came back piece by piece. "I remember the battle and how we chased them into the forest. They were going to hurt my people. They…"

Crunch!

The sound, or a memory of the sound, of metal biting deep into wood jerked her upright and she gasped wildly as a tide of hysteria flooded through her.

"Nina! He-he… Oh!"

She sagged back against Peter's chest and struggled to think through the torturous agony that was squeezing her heart with a vice-like grip. It couldn't be true. She'd imagined the whole thing. It was just a dream…

Davlon's hand came up to rest on her knee. His brown eyes were full of an inexpressible sadness and sympathy.

"Zia, the axe almost cut Nina's tree in half," he murmured, tears welling in his eyes. "We went back to the battlefield to find her but the survivors said she just vanished. I'm so sorry."

Zia felt numb. Her brain refused to believe that Davlon's words were true. They couldn't be. He was lying or else mistaken. Nina would be waiting for her at the Grove with her usual loving smile firmly in place with Dahlia and Delilah in her arms. Breejit would be there. They would cheer and celebrate their success in driving away the enemy and they would never have to speak of any of this again.

It sounded so convincing that Zia almost believed it. She cried silently for the rest of the journey to Cair Paravel. She was vaguely aware of reaching the gates to the castle and of being lifted down from Peter's unicorn. Someone carried her inside, through various corridors and up several flights of stairs before setting her down on something soft that gave slightly beneath her. Something else warm and heavy was pulled over her, covering everything up to her chin. A thick, syrupy liquid was carefully poured down her throat. She swallowed it without thinking; it burned slightly as it went down. She felt a slight shift as someone settled on the edge of whatever she was lying on, but didn't open her eyes.

She drifted in and out of consciousness with no indication of whether it was day or night. Whenever she awoke, there was always someone waiting to tip more of the sticky liquid into her mouth. Occasionally she heard voices but they always sounded too far away and she didn't have the energy to focus on them.

One day - she guessed it must be either the third or fourth since she'd been brought to the Cair - her brain broke through the heavy fog. She opened her eyes and stared around the room. The ceiling, walls and floor were all white, creating a sensation of unease in her stomach that she couldn't explain. Hers wasn't the only bed in the large, rectangular room. Both of the longer walls were lined with them and all were donned with the same white sheets and pillow cases. Most were occupied from what she could see. An unpleasant smell lingered in the air, burning her nose as she breathed it in.

Footsteps echoed somewhere in an adjoining room and then a door opened. A girl came through it, holding a clear bottle in her right hand and balancing a tray on her left. The girl's skin was pale, but not in a sickly way. It was more soft and snowy - in both colour and texture. She had a pleasant, heart-shaped face and masses of dark curls that flowed down her back. There were dark circles under her hazel-brown eyes, as though she hadn't slept well for years. She cautiously tip-toed her way over to where Zia lay, keeping her eyes focussed on the precarious tray. Setting it on a small table, the girl turned to smile kindly down at Zia.

"Good morning, how are you feeling?" she asked. Zia recognised her voice from the whispering she had heard in between lulls of sleep. She shrugged in answer to the girl's question. She didn't quite feel up to speaking yet. The girl seemed to understand. She uncapped the vial and brought it to Zia's lips, pushing her hair away from her forehead as she drank.

"I'm Alexandra, Cair Paravel's Court Physician," the girl said as she dipped a flannel into the small basin that she'd carried in on the tray. The cool water was heaven on Zia's hot face as she was still being slightly suffocated by the blankets that were tucked around her.

Alexandra gently dabbed Zia's neck and shoulders with the flannel. She didn't seem the type to enjoy meaningless chatter, which was a relief to Zia. She didn't want to even pretend to listen to anyone talking at her. After she had finished sponging her down, Alexandra took the basin away and came back to plump Zia's pillows. Zia watched her as she meandered around the room, occasionally stopping at a bedside and checking upon its occupant.

When she'd done all she could, Alexandra came back to Zia, her eyes downcast. "I'm sorry for your loss. I know what it's like to lose someone close to you. If you ever want to talk, I'll be around. Just try and get as much rest as you can for now." She exited the room with a sad smile, closing the door softly behind her.

Zia thought she slept some more after that. When she opened her eyes again, the room was dim. The only light came from a candle on the bedside table and the silvery moon that was visible through the large window that took up most of the far end of the room. There was someone sitting in an armchair by the side of her bed. At first she thought it to be the physician from earlier, but the person in the armchair was the last person she expected to see.

Edmund's dark hair was rumpled, his eyes were closed and his mouth was slightly open. His chest rose and fell evenly - he was fast asleep. Zia could do nothing but gape at him for several minutes. How long had he been there? Why was he even there in the first place?

Whilst she was staring, Edmund's eyes fluttered open. He immediately glanced over at her and surprise crossed his face when he saw she was awake.

"Good evening," he murmured. "How are you feeling?"

Zia repeated the shrug she'd executed when Alexandra had asked her the same question. She squinted at him in the dim light, trying to make out his features though they were half hidden by shadows.

"Alex warned me you weren't in the mood for talking," he informed her conversationally. "But I thought you'd be glad of some company. It must seem such a long time since you've spoken to another living thing."

He proceeded to tell her about all sorts of trivial things that were going on in the Cair. He described the day's training session in great detail and definitely looked smug when he told her how he'd beaten his older brother in a friendly sparring match. Zia wasn't especially interested in what he had to say, but found herself listening carefully to the sound of his voice and noticing all the slight changes in pitch and tempo. She was concentrating so hard that she missed his next question.

"I'm sorry," he said after a few seconds of silence. "Would you like me to leave?"

Zia shook her head. The very fact that he was there, sitting by her bed and keeping watch over her, was a shock but a pleasant one. His smile was one of relief as he glanced down at the book cradled on his lap, still open from when he'd fallen asleep reading.

"Shall I read to you?"

Zia blinked, again taken by surprise. She gave a dubious nod, doubtfully eyeing the thick volume. She'd never come across any books in her life and, even if she had, she probably wouldn't have had much concern for them, but if it meant Edmund would stay and she could listen to his voice some more, she was willing to trust the bundle of parchment and ink in his hands.

As he flicked back to the first page and began to read, Zia settled back against the pillows and allowed herself to be carried along by the story. Before long she began to completely disregard the words and returned to committing every little rise and fall of Edmund's voice to memory. Like a lullaby, it led her down through the soft, heavy layers of sleep.

Just as she was about to give way to unconsciousness, the sound of a door opening echoed in the air. "Come away Edmund, let her sleep," a voice said quietly. It sounded like Alexandra. Zia kept her eyes closed - she didn't want either of them to know she was listening.

Edmund didn't move from Zia's side. His hand moved to gently clutch hers. She tried her very best not to stiffen in shock. Alexandra sighed and shook her head, walking over and placing her hand reassuringly on Edmund's shoulder. "Ed, I know you care about her but you need to stop worrying."

"What if something happens to her?" he asked.

"Honestly Ed, I'm starting to think you doubt my talents. I'll look after her, you know I will." She sighed, slightly squeezing his shoulder. "You know I hate to see you sad, especially after all of the business from the Summer Solstice."

"I know, I remember." He mimicked her sigh. "Why did she leave? I looked for her Alex, I looked everywhere!"

"I know, I looked with you, remember?" Alexandra knelt beside him and gazed at him sadly. "I hope she's worth it, Ed."

"I think - no, I know she is."

A half-smile appeared on Alexandra's mouth. "Tough as old boots, she is. I can see why you like her," she said slyly. "And very pretty too…"

"Shut up, Alex."

"Hey, I'm entitled to tease you a bit. You've done it to me plenty of times." Alexandra spoke in a playful tone, pointing a finger at Edmund. With a smile, she stood and tapped him on the shoulder. "Come on, bed. You need some sleep."

"You need it more than me," Edmund weakly protested, reluctantly standing up as well.

"You know I don't sleep anyway, what with the dreams and everything. Now, shoo. I know what you're like in the morning, grumpy guts." She nudged him towards the door.

"Are they still bad?" he whispered. There was a note of panic in his voice.

"They're… No, doesn't matter now. Bed!" She tried to push him to the door again. "Besides, you'll never hear the end of it from Peter if you fall asleep through another meeting."

"You'll tell me if anything happens during the night, won't you?"

"Ed!"

"Alright, alright!" With one last look at Zia, he leaned over and lightly brushed his lips across her forehead.

The next morning, when Zia opened her eyes, the sun was high in the sky outside the window and the air inside the room was stifling. With some effort, she shoved the blankets off and struggled into a sitting position. Her limbs were stiff from lack of movement. Swinging her legs round, she pushed herself up off the bed. The stone floor was blissfully cool under her bare feet.

A glorious view of the glistening blue sea spread out before her as she leaned on the window ledge. The beach below looked familiar. With a jolt, she realised that it was the same beach where she'd first laid eyes on Edmund. She wondered if he'd chosen this room for her on purpose. No, that was ridiculous. It must be just a coincidence. There couldn't be that many hospital wings in Cair Paravel.

The sound of the door creaking open brought her down from her thought clouds. It was Lucy and she looked stunned to see Zia free from the restraints of her linen prison.

"Oh Zia, you're up." She gingerly held a goblet of something steaming between her hands, which she quickly put down on the table beside the bed that Zia had occupied. "Are you feeling better, then?"

"A little." Zia's voice was hoarse from not having spoken for such a long time. She cleared her throat and tried again. "It's good to see you."

"You too," the youngest Queen replied. She kept her voice down so as not to disturb the rest of Alexandra's patients, all resting in their various beds. "Well, it's good to see you awake. I sat by your bed for a while, just to make sure you were all right. Ed wouldn't hear of you being left alone for a single minute. He made us all take turns watching you."

"Did he?" She tried to sound nonchalant but couldn't quite keep the pleasure from being apparent in her tone. If Lucy noticed this, she was tactful enough not to comment. At her beckoning, Zia padded over to perch on the edge of the bed. Lucy settled behind her and produced a comb from the sleeve of her dress.

"Do you feel well enough to come for a walk in the gardens?" Lucy asked as she worked the comb through the tangled mess that was Zia's hair.

"There's nothing really wrong with me," Zia said quietly.

"I know, but it must be awful to…" Lucy hurriedly closed her mouth. Zia smiled weakly so she wouldn't feel too guilty.

The ensuing silence was tense and awkward. Both of them were relieved when someone else came through the door. This time it was Alexandra. She had brought another vial for Zia to drink from. After she had drained the last drops, Zia enquired as to what the liquid was.

"It's a kind of potion," Alexandra replied. "I've been looking through some books I found in the library about your kind and almost all of them say that Dryads – and Nymphs in general – become irritable when they are kept away from their home for too long. I think a few of them said something about you eventually going insane. I thought I'd better make this for you to drink. We don't want a crazy Dryad running around the place, do we?" She was smiled teasingly. "I'm glad it works, anyway. Ed's already worried sick about you."

Remembering the drowsy state her mind and body had been in, Zia scowled at the Court Physician. "Were you drugging me?"

Alexandra blinked and then firmly set her jaw. "It was in your best interests, I'll have you know. I didn't just do it to keep you in place. You can rest assured that I'll always do everything in my power to make my patients feel better."

Thoroughly snubbed and feeling ashamed, Zia mutely hung her head. She might want to pretend she hadn't heard that conversation last night, but she had, and there was more to Alexandra than a Court Physician.

She felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up into said Court Physician's hazel-brown eyes. They were soft, understanding. "I'm sorry."

Zia nodded and managed a small smile.

With Alexandra's permission for her to leave the hospital, Zia was made to take her first (much-needed) bath. The temperature of the water was far too hot at first but she was soon relaxing into it as Lucy knelt on the tiled floor beside the tub and washed her hair for her. The young Queen helped her out of the tub and wrapped her snugly in a soft towel. Then Lucy started work on pinning Zia's hair up in a delicate twist whilst Alexandra paid a visit to the castle seamstress to pick up the dress Lucy had requested be made for the Dryad. Zia eyed the gown warily when it was brought to her but didn't protest. She stepped into it, wobbling slightly even as Lucy held her hand. The material was smooth and flowed over her slender frame like water. The colour was as black as a raven's feather, a black that made Zia's tanned skin appear almost pale and caused her eyes to glow like emeralds.

The girls stepped back to admire their handiwork though neither took pleasure in the Dryad's fresh appearance. Although she did look out of place and slightly uncomfortable, Zia appeared much healthier and happier now that she was clean and standing on her own two feet.

"Where are you taking me?" Zia asked suspiciously as they led her out of the room, each holding one of her elbows.

Alex shot Lucy a look that clearly said "You tell her."

"Um…" Lucy began uncertainly. "We thought it would be proper if, well, you got chance to say a proper goodbye to – to Nina…"

At the mention of her deceased sister's name, Zia's heart suddenly remembered how to feel pain. She clenched her teeth against a whimper.

Alexandra rubbed the back of Zia's hand soothingly. "It was mostly Ed's idea, actually. He's organised a proper send off for her, if you would like to attend."

With a quiet sniff, Zia nodded. Nina deserved nothing less. She would not taint Nina's memory by hiding indoors for the rest of her life. She had not been trained to run and hide from things that scared her. "Will her tree be burned?" she whispered. "That's the traditional way to make sure that we rest in peace."

"I'll let Peter know that's what you want," Lucy assured her.

The funeral procession from the Cair was a small one, made up of only Zia, the four monarchs, Alexandra, Tumnus the Faun and Davlon (he had stayed at the castle to keep an eye on Zia and wouldn't leave until she was well enough to return home). The Kings and Queens rode on horseback, with Zia seated in front of Peter on a beautiful black stallion. Tumnus walked beside Lucy's chestnut mare, Alexandra shared Edmund's horse and Davlon padded slowly along at the rear. Zia kept her gaze focussed on the stallion's mane, fearing the emotion that would be brought up if she looked around. Her memories of Nina spanned across a period of almost sixty years. There was barely a place in the whole of Western Wood that they hadn't been to together.

When they reached the Grove, a loud gasp from Lucy made Zia look up. Her heart swelled against her ribs. The whole of Nina's clan had gathered to meet the melancholy party. Their heads were bowed and their glorious faces were mournful. Zia slid off Peter's horse and went to them. They offered her quiet words of sympathy, although the loss that they all felt hung tangibly in the air like storm clouds. She searched for Breejit and found him with the twins. Even the girls' cheerful, chubby faces were solemn. Carefully, so as not to get dirt on her dress, Zia sank to her knees and pulled her best friend into her arms.

The tears flowed freely now, dripping down Zia's face and soaking into Breejit's fur. She held him tight, allowing all her hopelessness and desperation to envelope them both. When her eyes eventually began to dry, she scrubbed at them with her fists, stood up and nodded to Peter. When they reached Nina's tree, Zia almost choked on a sob. The axe had been disposed of but the evidence of its destruction could not be undone. Davlon was right, the trunk had been severed almost completely in half – it seemed to be holding itself together by sheer will alone.

Standing in silent anguish, Zia only half-listened as members of her clan took it in turns to offer a few last words of blessing to their Empress. She watched Tumnus step up to the tree. He was trembling and wiping at his streaming eyes with a grubby handkerchief.

"Goodbye, my Lady," he murmured to the tree. "I will always remember that Solstice night four years ago – the night that I was finally granted the honour of dancing with you. It greatly saddens me to know that I will never get the chance to do so again, nor even watch you twirl gracefully around the Lawn like a beautiful star. I hope with all my heart that, when you reach Aslan's country, you will be able to dance once again." The Faun pressed his fingertips to his lips and tenderly stroked them once down the tree trunk. Then he stepped back into Lucy's waiting arms, trying as hard as he could to muffle his sobs.

When it was Zia's turn, she laid her hand against the small area of the trunk that was still whole, closed her eyes and pictured Nina's face. There was so much she wanted to say but words seemed to have gotten lost in the treacherous sea that was torturously drowning her from the inside.

In the end, all she could think to say was, "Farewell, sister."

When everyone had said their final goodbyes, one of the Dryads handed Peter a branch that had fallen from Nina's tree, which he lit and held out to Zia. She shook her head. There was no way she could be the one to destroy what remained of her beloved sister. She felt a warm hand close around her cold, frail one and squeeze gently. She didn't need to look up to know who it was.

Breejit regarded Zia's crumpled face from where he sat by her feet. He glanced from her to the dark-haired figure at her side and frowned.

Peter gripped the flaming torch in his fist. The smoke mixed with tears of regret caused his eyes to burn. "I am so sorry, my Lady," he breathed.

The gathering watched their High King's lips move but couldn't hear the words, no matter how much they furtively strained. They expected him to bring the ceremony to a close with a eulogy of his own, followed by a reassurance that Nina hadn't died in vain and had found peace with Aslan, but Peter's strength seemed to have left him, along with his voice.

He crouched by the roots of the tree, placed the burning stick against the mutilated trunk, straightened and stepped back. Lucy clung to his arm and cried as a single tear escaped from the corner of her brother's eye.

The fire took hold instantly but, instead of moving with the intention only to consume, it seemed as though it were treasuring each square inch of the wood as it worked its way upwards. Very soon the whole tree was alight. The bark and branches slowly became twisted and blackened beneath the caressing orange flames. A ghostly echo of Nina's tinkling laugh seemed to reach the crowd from the very heart of the tree before it was carried away by the wind.