"Can you stay the night?" Kendall asked as he got his shirt back on.

"I could but I'm up at 7, and I think you could do with a decent lay in, so il drive back tonight" i replied as I Tidied my hair and un creased clothes in a mirror that was next to the front door.

"Yeah that does sound good actually" he said scratching his head.

"Im guessing I won't see you for a couple of days now?" I looked at his reflection in the mirror as I spoke.

"well I'm back on set for the show tomorrow, but I don't mind the late nights, if you wanna hook up?" He replied as he sat down on the couch previously occupied by Kevin and Carlos.

"sure I'm up for some late nights. I can't tomorrow though it will be way too late by the time I get back home, I've got a client meeting in san Diego... Shit that reminds me I need to phone Ralph about my air con" I rummaged in my bag for my cell.

"Ralph?" kendall smirked.

"Yeah, Ralph looks after my cars for me, do you think its too late to call? I really need that air con fixed early tomorrow" I tipped the contents of my bag on the glass topped table."Shoot, I must of left my cell at home" I rolled my eyes at my own annoyance.

"Here, use mine" kendall felt in his pocket and pulled out his iphone.

"No its no good. I don't know the number off by heart" I began refilling my purse."Il just take the 4x4, its a pain in the Ass to drive, but at least it will be cool inside" I added.

I stood up straight with my purse full again, and pulled kendall to his feet off the couch.

"Well I best get going" I circled my thumb in his hand.

"Are you sure you won't stay" he looked right through me with those green eyes.

I gave him a thoughtful look, "I'll call you tomorrow okay, I expect my cell is about somewhere. tonight was amazing"

I gave him a gentle kiss on the lips and reached for the door.

"love you shoo" kendall whispered.

I smiled at him glad he had finally said it back.

The drive home went by quick, my head full of so many thoughts that were all so new to me. Once home I headed straight for bed, I was shattered. I got changed in to some light cotton pyjamas.

I briefly acknowledged my cell phone on top of my clothes chest and tutted to myself.

I set my bed side clock for 7 then drifted off to sleep.

I got woken up by my cellphone ringing. I checked the time on the bed side clock which read 6:15, so I thought who ever that was can call back in 45 minutes, and drifted back to sleep, but only minutes had passed when I heard the door chime play.

Jesus! Do I never get a moments peace! I hauled my over tired body out of bed and grabbed my hot pink dressing gown, I put it on as I went down the stairs towards the door.

"James? What are you doing here". I said as I tried to tame my bed head hair.

"Well I guess this explains why you didn't bother to call me back yesterday, you could of said, instead of making me look like a complete dick" he moaned as he shoved a copy of the L.A. times in to my chest, I took it, and looked at the front page.

My heart sank, a full colour picture of kendall and I kissing.

The picture was taken from a stillshot of a cctv camera in the parking lot elevator from the hotel, the paper boasted that if you went on line you could watch the 1 minute 37 second full video of our lift antics.

Shit!

I was confused, I didn't get why James was that pissed at me he felt the need to come round this early, and bite my head off.

"Why are you yelling at me James?" I walked in to my lounge, and sat down, he followed but he wouldn't sit.

"I called you like a million times yesterday, I left loads of messages. Kacey and me are finished" he said

"Shit I'm so sorry James, I left my cell at home last night" I got up from my seat to go get my phone from upstairs. James grabbed my hand, his grip almost hurt.

"That is a mistake you are making!" he hissed as he pointed to the picture of me and kendall in the paper.

He let go of my hand and walked out the room. I heard my front door slam shut and looked out the window to see James speed off in his truck.

Fuck, what the hell was all that about. I scanned through the paper to read the entire story, apparently, according story kendall and I had been together for weeks, but we kept it on the down low, jays picture was in a small inset in the corner of the story.

They described him as an old on off love interest of mine. And then listed a few of the names I had been linked with since his death.

I chucked the paper on the floor, and sat down with my head in my hands.

"Cell" I spoke aloud to myself and got up to go listen to the broken hearted moans of how kacey had dumped James.

As I finished listening to the voicemail messages James had left me I felt sick.

He had left 6 in total and tried to phone me 14 times.

It wasnt as simple as I thought.

Kacey had not dumped James, it was him that had ended it between them. And according to his other messages it was all because of me.

The first message told how him and kacey hadn't been great for a while, and he was sick of the arguements, I presumed this is why she was absent from kendalls birthday celebrations.

His 4th voicemail that was left, told of his feelings for me, he said he loved me, he always had and he would do anything for me. He begged me to call him back.

The 5th message he left was mostly of incoherent ramblings which I couldn't always follow, but apparently Carlos had some choice words with James at kendalls party. after James had declared his true intentions about me to him, Carlos was pissed with James, saying how can he be serious about me when he was still very much with kacey and that's why he had left early.

The last message was the worst. He was tearful, sounded drunk, and pleaded with me to call him, even if its to say to get lost. He said he had never lost touch of our connection. Then the message ended.

those last words took me back to cocoa beach, with the still ocean, and the nerves in my stomach sitting on that blanket with James.

Shit!

I was running very late now, I had to get my ass in gear and get to san Diego,

I pushed James from my mind and showered and dressed. I forced some cereal in me, I felt sick to the stomach, but I didnt want the papers running a story of anorexia on me, that would just send me over the top.

I decided to pay James a quick visit before I left for san Diego, I didn't want to tell kendall anything he didn't need to know and cause a rift between them.

I briefly wondered how different kendalls 21st could of been if Carlos hadn't had words with James which made him leave.

I pulled up outside James' just after 8:30, I didn't have to be in san Diego untill midday, so hopefully traffic would be kind and I will make it in plenty of time.

I rang the bell, James lived in a large bungalow style house, it was very modern, had a huge drive that was littered with old trucks he was doing up, and had a large double garage to the side of the was no answer.

I got half way back to my car when I heard his front door click open.

"Hey" he said quietly.

"Hey you", I replied. "Can i come in?"

"Sure" he moved from the door to Invite me in.

We walked in, inside James' house was very neat. Open plan and designer, he had an eye for detail, all his furniture flowed through his home.

He sat down on the edge of an oak coffee table in the living area and put his head in his hands.

I sat on the L shaped sofa that dominated the room, it had corded cushions and a leather base. I toyed with the cordoruy between my fingers in an to attempt to calm my heart rate down.

"Did you listen to the messages?" He asked, still with his face covered.

"Yeah I did" I looked at the floor."James..." my voice cracked "you know how I feel about you, but I can't just drop everything" I looked at the top of James' head as he rubbed his temple with his thumbs.

"I didn't know there was anything to drop" he said through gritted teeth.

"Hey" my voice was soft.

I went over to him and crouched down to his level and pryed his hands away from his face.

"Nor did I James, thats the thing, kendall and me have only been going for 2 days, I had no clue what was going on in your head at all"

He shrugged.

"I can't just let kendall down because you want a new girlfriend, I feel strongly for him" I explained.

James looked up to me.

"Do you love him?" His voice was soft and shook.

"I think I might , yeah." I rubbed his loosened me from my hold on his hands to wipe his eyes.

"You know what?" He asked "I love you" silent tears left his eyes as he blinked.

"I had no idea James, least not that much of an idea anyway" I replied with a little grin.

he gave a sad smile, I presume he was thinking of the sly cheek/lips kiss we often did.

"Have you told anyone all this. what's been going on in that head of yours...kacey?" I spoke her name cautiously.

"No only Carlos, but he doesn't think there is anything in it, he just assumes I want to conquer you."

He grabbed my hands and held them to his face.

"So what did you tell kacey? You must of given her a reason?" I stroked his face to try to sooth him.

"Just that I wasn't feeling it no more" he placed my hands on my lap and let go.

I checked my watch, it had gone 9 now.

"You gotta be somewhere?" He said standing up from the table edge.

I took his place where he had sat."Yeah, San Diego, I gotta get moving or im gonna be late." I sighed.

"James are you going to tell kendall how you feel?" I looked at the grey and white swirly patterned rug at my feet.

"I gotta go back on set with him today" he paced the floor.

"Yeah I know you do" I stood up, the swirls were making my head spin.

"You really think you love him?" He stopped to look at my face.

"Yeah I do... I'm sorry" I looked back to the swirls, a spinning head was better than the heart break I could see in those beautiful brown eyes.

"I won't say a word sheri" he walked towards me and wrapped his strong arms around me. He kissed the top of my head.

"I'm so sorry" I spoke in to his chest, he held me tighter.

He walked me to my 4x4 in his drive."Take care sheriden" he said as he opened up my door.

"Call me if you need to talk James okay...Promise" I gave him a stern look.

"I promise" and he walked away in to the house.

The traffic had allowed me time to get to san Diego with ease. I was meeting up with some local fashion designers, they wanted my models to campaign there clothes and accessories for them and I needed to seal the deal today with a meeting and contract signing followed by a dinner date for good measure.

It had been a while since I had head lined a paper. I was glad in the end that James showed me it, I wouldnt of had a clue other wise untill someone else would of mentioned my latest scandal.

I decided to get a coffee before my meeting and phone kendall, he shouldn't of left for the set just yet.

I got back in the 4x4 with my coffee and a chocolate chip muffin. I figured the sugar intake would do me good.

I fished my cell out my purse and dialled kendalls number.

He answered after a few rings:

"hi shoo" he sounded happy, so at least James hadn't complicated things for him.

"hi, listen...have you seen the news today?" I picked at my muffin.

He laughed "yeah I seen it, does it bother you?"

"No not really, just a bit of a blush fest isn't it? I picked crumbs off my top and tossed them out the window.

"Yeah my mom called me to see if it was true" he let out a forced chuckle.

"Was she alright about it or..." I smoothed the steering wheel with my thumb.

"She was...concerned ha!" He had chosen his words well. He continued, "look sheriden, don't worry okay, everything is great, and besides its more about James now" He said.

I froze. "What do you mean about James?"

I removed my muffin from my lap, my appetite had died.

"You not been online? It's all over Twitter. He finished it with kacey and she has lost the plot, she has sparked some kind of internet rampage on him. I tried calling him but no answer as yet"

I sighed, poor James.

"Oh" was all i could manage out.

"She's not done herself any favours, there is already twitter hate campaigns going on against her, she is gonna ruin her record signing. I thought they was going good?" he paused.

"Sheriden you sure you okay?" His voice full of concern.

"Yeah ...yeah I'm fine, just needed to hear your voice, been a crazy kind of morning" I faked out a giggle to ease his worry.

"Yeah its good to hear you too, I'm leaving in a bit though, so gonna have to love you and leave you" he mocked a sad voice but his words made me smile.

"Aww you love me?" My voice went up an octave.

He laughed "I may be a little smitten with you, yes" his words made my heart ache.

"I like smitten" my stomach had made room for butterflies to fill it.

Kendall laughed "im gonna have to go now, call you later?"

I groaned at his departing words.

"Yeah! I'll look forward to it. I'm seeing you tomorrow night too yeah?" I placed my muffin back on my lap.

"Yeah about ten though, is that cool?"

His voice was sceptic.

"Yeah its better than nothing, come to mine okay" I began to pick at the muffin again.

"Sure, that's fine, I'll talk to you later sheriden...I love you"

i could here the smile in his voice.

My heart melted.

"Love you too, speak soon", I Hung up my phone, and stretched my arms over the back of the head rest with a smile on my face.

He loves me i thought. And shook my head with a giggle.

My head came back to earth with thoughts of james. I felt so bad for him, he didnt deserve any of kaceys shit. He was one in a million, and she had punched well above her weight to snag him in the first place.

My day had gone as I had wished and I had made it home just before Midnite. I sat in the lounge.

House keeping must of had a giggle at my expense today as the news paper I tossed on the floor was now neatly stored on my side cabinet.

I grabbed my laptop and switched it on, my internet home page boasted a picture of myself, I sighed.

I signed in to Twitter to check the latest on james. People had trended some hash tag topics about him, most of the comments were in his favour, some not so.

I checked my cell, he hadn't phoned, so i guess he was doing okay.

For the first time since I had properly met James I wished he didn't have that electric hold on me. The connection between us now seemed to be stabbing me in the heart.

I'll call him just to make sure he's okay I thought.

I pressed his name on my cell and it rang.

"...Sheriden?" He sounded rough.

"hey, sorry did I wake you?" I wish I'd of left it til morning to call now.

"Ya its cool though, how you doin?" His voice had cleared.

"I'm okay yeah, just wanted to check you were alright, I was worried about you" my heart was pounding in my chest.

"I'm...okay too..you know?" His hesitance bothered me,

"You... wanna come over and talk it to death? ...I feel I owe you james"

"You don't owe me anything sheri, but a chat sounds good...if your sure?" His tone perked up.

"Yeah its fine, course its fine but just a chat though yeah, no hidden agendas"

Shit was this a mistake?

"Yeah I know... I'll be round in ten" he agreed.

"Okay bye" I replied

"Bye" came his departing words.

Maybe this was a massive mistake, what was I thinking? its just tempting fate.

James and I talked til gone 3. He seemed a lot chirpier than he did the previous morning. He was very honest with me and told me exactly how he felt, the words he used to describe it reminded me of kendalls love song that he sang to me just a few nights before.

I was honest with James too, I admitted things to him that I hadnt even admitted to my self before, turned out I was pretty hooked on him also, once all the emotional things had been talked through we kind of slipped back in to our old habits of flirty comments and private looks at each other as we shared some crazy memories.

I felt happy. He didn't mention kendall, so nor did I.

I woke up late in the afternoon the next day. I layed in bed with a thousand thoughts in my head.

I was so glad James came over last night, hopefully things will start to get back to some kind of normality now.

And tonight was my night with kendall, my stomach filled with butterflies at the thought of it.

The day dragged like a rock, but kendall had just pulled up in to my driveway, I pretty much skipped to the door. I opened it before he could ring the chime.

I leapt in to him, my arms and legs wrapped tightly around him.

"Hello" he said with a smile and I shut the door with a kick of my foot which dangled behind kendall.

Kendall and I made it up stairs to my bedroom, he had never been in it before, I saw his eyes patrol all the details they could.

my room was full of white furniture, the bed had a huge white iron head board, the dressing table was antique with queen anne style legs with an ornate mirror on top which I could see our reflection in.

He scanned a black and white picture of myself on the wall, it was big, and was of me strutting down the catwalk wearing a Gucci dress and I donned huge feathers in my hair.

I wasn't in the mood to mess about tonight, the thought of kendall coming over had given me unmentionable thoughts all day.

I removed his clothes in a flash, and let him undress me, again he toyed with my brazier, kendall was definitely a breast man. He layed me down after he had freed me from my underwear and lingered over my nipples, he sucked them gently, I could feel my body throb for him, and pulled him on top to enter me...After we had made love I layed in his arms.

"We are pretty intense hey" I thought out loud.

"Yeah, we are, but I like it" he kissed me on the forehead.

"Sheriden how much do you miss the runway?" He was looking at my picture on the wall.

"I would be lying if I said not much, put it that way" I looked at the picture too.

"Do you think I'm vain for having that up? I raised my eyebrows.

"No, just I've never really heard you talk about it, or your skiing accident" his words made me think of James, i always ended up calling james if ever I needed a shoulder to cry on which most the time was about me missing the catwalk or the pain in my back had gotten so bad i needed a friend to hug, sometimes it was also about jay...

"There's not much to tell" I lied.

"How long were you in hospital for?" The hand of the arm he had wrapped around me now stroked my scar with his fingers.

"9 weeks" I sighed.

"Your an amazing girl you know" he kissed my head again.

"Are you still coming with me to the K.V.A next week?" His voice more upbeat at the change of conversation.

The K.V.A's are the "kids vote awards" a yearly run red carpet award ceremony run by the boys cable channel in which the viewers vote for there favorite show.

"Yes I'm still going, if that's still okay?" I poked him in the stomach with my finger.

"Cool I get to publicly show you off for the first time then" he smirked.

"yes you will, I promise to behave and not embarrass you" I twirled my finger round his nipple. He smiled and looked up at the ceiling