Coming home wasn't how I wanted was absolutly fuming, he had seen pictures of James and I in Vegas on the internet, he blew his lid at me, accused me of sleeping with James whilst carrying his child.
"How many times kendall, I'm not, nor have I ever slept with him" I had my fight back now from my little break away, and kendalls constant moaning really pissed me off.
"Why didn't you tell me then?" He had his arms crossed over his chest.
"Kendall WE are not a couple any more, what I do has nothing to do with you now"
I began to walk to my front door to show him out.
"Sheriden YOU have MY child inside you, at least you say its mine"
I walked back towards him in a rage.
"Yes and I keep you involved in that, your taking me to the scan are you not!?" I crossed my arms now.
"Taking you? am I just the driver then?" he threw his arms in the air.
"Oh kendall for fucksake , you know what I mean!"
"No sheriden I don't, I don't know anything anymore. What the hell are you going to Vegas with him for anyway"
"Oh I see, its not about the baby at all, its you don't wanna be a sore loser to james" I put some hair behind my ear. I was getting hot and emotional
"No its about the baby sheriden, I do wonder why James is still sniffing about a woman that is supposedly having another mans child, I mean it all sounds a bit odd don't you think" he slammed his palms down on my kitchen table.
"I'll tell you why, because James cares for me, he is an amazing friend to me, and he would do anything for me. I bet he wouldn't of run off with the quickest slut he could find at the first hurdle"
kendall was fuming.
"and do you know why he wouldn't sheriden... because he already had you"
I slapped kendall round the face.
"He is welcome to you both" kendall looked from my Face to my bloated belly and walked out.
I slumped on the floor crying, pulled my cell out my pocket and called James, I was still sobbing on the floor when James got to mine, he sat on the floor with me and held me till I couldn't cry any more.
"What happened to him James, how did he change so much?"
"I don't know sheri" he picked me up off the floor.
"He doesn't want the baby" I rubbed my puffy eyes.
"He didn't mean that shoo. He was just angry, that's all, he will see sense"
James held me close.
Kendall didn't see sense, he wouldn't talk to me or James, I prayed that Carlos was home and not in Hawaii with tammi, he could talk kendall round. logan didnt know about the baby, nor did anyone else. all I had was james at this moment in time.
I dropped a letter under kendalls door on the morning of the ultrasound scan, I knocked to see if he would change his mind and come with me but he didn't answer.
The letter explained that it definitely was his baby and I didn't want him to miss out on any part of its life.
I said I would find out the sex and let him know and I finished it off with "I miss you"
So it was James that took me across town to get the scan done, he offered instead of a lonely drive in a cab. it was a silent trip up there, the traffic was mental, took us well over an hour to get to the clinic.
James and I donned hats and sunglasses in a brief attempt to not get spotted so easily, last thing I needed was the press putting two and two together and coming up with 5.
My pregnancy was still not known in the public eye, I was pleased as it meant our little family, although falling slowly apart, we all still had each others backs and could keep our mouths shut.
The one problem with James taking me is that I had to go in to the private clinic on my own. I wouldnt want a media frenzy of the kendall/James love triangle, which this definitely had not been.
James drove a beautiful black SUV, it was fairly new, probably just a year old, the interior was nice with black leather and more gadgets on the dash than you could shake a stick at.
I couldn't see an air freshener any where but the car smelt like freshly cut lemons inside the cabin, it wasn't too much, it smelt clean and new.
I had a bottle of water in one of the holders I found beside my seat, I took little sips every now and then in the hope of a clearer picture at the scan. I needed to pee soon though, and shifted about in the huge cabin seat that made my small frame look even smaller.
"Nearly there" James smiled at my wiggling.
"Good, else you will need a valet in here soon" I was nervous.
The SUV pulled up in the clinic parking lot, James was going to wait in the car for my return.
"Good luck" he wished as I got out.
"Thanks" I walked towards the clinic pulling my sun hat down. I wished kendall was with me, I could of done with a friendly face and a hand to hold right now, my chest felt tight.
Once done I came out of the clinic 45 minutes later, and got back in James' SUV.
"Well?" He asked.
I stayed silent for a minute, collecting my thoughts.
"Well..." I continued, "its a boy... I'm having a boy" I showed James the picture from the scan.
James grinned, he gave me a hug then surveyed the picture of the baby, I pointed out which part was looked at each other smiling.
I broke from our gaze.
"I best phone kendall"I said and rang kendalls number on my cell but it rang out. I decided to text him the news he was now having a son.
At least I was trying, I didn't want to lose kendall from my life.
James started his car, and left the parking lot, we got on to the freeway. The traffic had cleared well. I couldn't stop looking at the picture of my baby, it felt real all of a sudden.
"are you happy about having a boy?" James asked looking out to the road ahead.
"Yeah I am, I mean I wouldn't of minded either way but yeah a boy, thats amazing".
Excitement filled my voice.
"So its not triplets then?" James' face flashed a beautiful smile.
I laughed "no just the one"
"You will have to think of some names now, maybe moonbeam or pickles? you could start a new celebrity trend?", James laughed at his own joke.
I smiled and looked at my picture again,
"I'm not sure what name I will...".
The car jolted me forwards, I looked up.
James had slammed his brakes down. There was a motorcyclist a few yards in front of us on its side, it had been hit by a car that was currently facing the wrong way just to the left of us.
The SUV brakes had locked, we were skidding towards the motor bike, James turned the wheel to try and miss the bike, the SUV turned too sharp and flipped on its side, it crashed through the reservation barrier and started to roll.
It all happened so quick, I saw James' head must of hit his door window, I could see blood all over the place, the front of the SUV must of caved in, I felt a surge of pain run through my legs, the car kept rolling.
Something hit my face from inside the cabin, I could taste blood in my mouth.
The windscreen shattered, I could no longer see anything, James' air bag suddenly blew out of the steeringwheel, I couldn't see his face it was buried in the inflation.
The car came to a stand still at what I could gather we had landed the right way up. I tried to front of the SUV had completely smashed in or was partly missing, I couldn't tell from the limited view I had from the frosted broken Windows, my legs were stuck.
"Sheriden!?" james'voice came.
"Shit, James you alright?" my head was pounding and the taste of blood made me feel sick.
"My head hurts" he said, he tried to find my hand but I found his first.
"I can't move my legs, can you move?", my voice shook.
Just as I spoke James door opened with a struggle, a middle aged lady was talking hysterically, she was asking questions my exhausted mind could not answer, she was on her cell phone. I could hear sirens in the distance.
James looked at me.
"It's gonna be okay sheriden" he sounded scared.
I looked down at my tiny bump, my lap was covered in blood.
"Sheriden look at me" james insisted. I did.
"Whatever happens okay, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" James was tearful.
"Stay looking at me okay". He squeezed my hand as he spoke. I nodded in agreement.
All I could hear around us was chaos, shouting and talking and sirens, I closed my eyes, I couldn't keep them open any longer.
"Sheriden look at me" I could hear James talking but my eyes felt so heavy.
I could hear another man's voice.
"Hello son can you tell me your name?" The strangers voice asked.
"James" I heard the reply."Please... sheriden. that's sheriden, she's pregnant , please help her." James' voice was frantic.
"James she is gonna be fine, now I need you to stay still for me okay, I'm afraid your gonna have a convertable in a few minutes, we will get sheriden and yourself out to the hospital okay"
"'Kay" came the response from james.
The voice of the stranger faded from the car and started shouting instructions to people out on the road.
"sheriden?" James spoke again squeezing my hand."I love you"
I wish I could of responded but everything faded away after that to the smell of freshly cut lemons.
I woke up to being rushed through a corridor, my memory gave me a brief flash back to what had just happened.
All I could see were lights on the ceiling pass me by.
"this is sheriden Lloyd, 29 years of age, RTA , according to the other passenger she is 12 weeks pregnant but has lost approximatly 1 pint of blood since 11.00 am. Right leg has open fracture, possible broken ribs and laceration to face..."
" James! where's James?" I called out. My throat was dry.
"Hi sheriden, my names is Philip Young and I'm one of the doctors here. James is fine, he is just behind you okay. We are going to patch you up and he can come and see you very soon".
Everything went blank.
I woke up in a white room. My eyes hurt, it was hard to open them.
I felt stiff, I saw a nurse holding my arm and fiddling with bags on a drip I was connected to, she saw I was awake and smiled at me.
"Hi sheriden. I'm Alice, can you tell me if your in any pain at the moment?" Alice sounded very kind as she spoke.
I nodded my head to answer no to her question.
"The baby?" I ran my free hand over my stomach.
"There will be a doctor to see you in a few moments, they will explain everything that's happening okay sheriden" she smiled and walked out of the room I was in and quietly shut the door.
I took in my new surroundings. The white room I was in was square with a blinded window and door to the side leading out to the corridor Alice had walked in to, on the opposite side was another window that looked out to the night sky. There were some flowers in a vase on a small white cupboard next to my bed.
The doctor came in. The look on his face told me what I didn't want to hear but he opened his mouth to speak.
"Hello sheriden, I'm doctor jagodzinski" the doctor perched himself on the very edge of the side of my bed.
I nodded my head to acknowledge his introduction.
"You were involved in a bad road accident this morning, do you remember?" The doctor had a weak smile on his face, probably his bedside manner.
I nodded in agreement that I could remember the whole event of being inside that cabin with James and having the SUV spin us over and over like an oversized dryer.
"The injuries you sustained from the accident are quite serious I'm afraid...I'm sorry to say your pregnancy miscarried"
I already knew that in the cabin, when James told me not to look away, but we had both seen the blood pour out of me.
The doctor carried on."You broke your leg, foot and 3 ribs, you had an operation on your leg this morning, the bone had come through the skin"
My stomach churned.
The doctor continued."You will be left with some slight scarring in your shin area and along with your pain relief you are on a cause of antibiotics, the last thing we need is an infection in the bone"
I looked at my leg, it was covered in a blue material.
The doctor carried on with his bad news
"You lost approximately 30% of your blood volume so a transfusion was necessary, Do you have any concerns sheriden?"
"Can I still have children?" My voice was barely a whisper, the doctor poured me some water and gently raised my bed for me.
"I don't see any reason why you shouldn't be able to conceive" Dr jagodzinski gave me an optimistic smile.
"Your friend James is wanting to see you, shall I send him in?"
Thank god he is ok I thought.
"Yes please"
James walked in, obviously staying the night in hospital too. He had pyjama trousers on and no top, his arm was in a blue material sling, similar to what I had on my leg , some of his hair had been shaved and he sported some stitches in the bald part. His walk was one of difficulty.
He walked up to my bed and I held my arm up for him to take my hand. He did.
"I'm so sorry. there was nothing I could do", James' words took me back to days gone by, Where I would sit with Antonio crying.
"I'm just glad your okay" I replied, I rubbed his hand with my thumb.
"Kendall is on his way, he is on a plane right now" James let go of my hand and walked over to the chair at the side of the white room near the night sky window.
"A plane?" I asked puzzled.
"He was in Kansas, visiting family.
He saw the crash on the news and phoned the hospital, I'm not sure if... what he knows"
Silence fell on us.
I scanned James' body, clearly he was in a lot of pain,
"how bad is it?" I enquired.
He saw me look at his arm.
"broken arm, two dislocated fingers and a knock on the head, I could of gone home but because I knocked myself out for a second they are keeping me in"
I thought back to the air bag James' face was embedded in.
"I'm sorry about the baby sheriden". he added.
Again silence succumbed the small white room."Do you think my picture of him is okay?" My words came out like a child who had temporarely lost something.
"I'm not sure shoo, the car looked pretty wrecked on the news, don't get your hopes up okay." James leant forward in his seat, trying to seek some comfort.
"I hope kendall gets here soon" I spoke the words to myself rather than to James, but he nodded his head to agree.
"How bad did the car look on the news?" I changed the subject back to where James had left it.
"It's bad, the actual crash is on there too from the highway camera. I can't believe we even got out alive".
The words left James mouth with out thinking, I rubbed my tummy consoling my self to what might of been.
"I'm sorry, that was a stupid thing to say, I'm so sorry about the baby sheriden. I thought you were going to die, you just faded away in front of me..."
He stopped himself from talking.
"Do you know how long im going to be in here for James?" I looked James in the eye as I spoke.
"No I don't know?" came his response.
There was a tap on the white room door, alice poked her head in,
"sheriden kendall is here to see you, do you want me to send him in?"
I nodded, my voice wouldn't work any more, my throat was thick with new emotion.
Kendall walked in, his eyes red and blood shot, his face worn with worry, he looked so much older.
He walked over to my bed and collapsed his head gently on mine, and broke in to sobs
"I thought you where dead... I love you so much sheriden"
He kissed my face.
I raised my good arm and gave his head as much a hug as I could master.
"I love you too baby, I'm so sorry about everything. I'm so so sorry" My words were patchy and sometimes high pitched. but I got them out despite my throat trying to stop me.
Kendall kept his head next to mine for several minutes.
I closed my eyes, the smell from his hair smelt safe and reminded me of home.
My heart pounded in my chest, it ached as the memory of the hurt came back. I didn't care though. I needed him so much right now, I will deal with that pain another day.
Kendall kissed my cheek as his head left mine, he looked shocked as I looked in to his green eyes that were framed with red. I imagine my appearance was of a scary person, my face felt swollen and tight.
I looked over to James but all my eyes met was an empty chair.
Kendall stayed with me, he nodded off a couple of times in the chair, but we talked in hushed voices for most of the night.
"If only I had taken you to the clinic, this would never of happened" kendall was sat sideways in his chair with his legs over the arm.
"It's not your fault, its no ones fault" I replied.
"The last few weeks have been so messed up shoo" his hand supported his head in the chair as we talked
"I know, we were amazing to begin with" I said, I gave him a sleepy looking smile to match.
"I still love you so much sheriden",
"You really hurt me kendall" I looked up to the ceiling.
"Are we finished?...forever I mean?" Kendall sat up as he spoke.
"I miss you so much" I confessed.
"I miss you too, I've been so miserable, but nothing I could do to make it better" kendalls whispers were honest and filled with regret.
"Things will sort themselves out, don't worry" I gave him another sleepy smile with my words.
"Get some sleep now sheriden, you need to get better baby" I dozed off in to a dream filled with sirens and lights passing over my head.
I was in James' car again but this time it had plunged in to water, I couldn't get out and the car was filling up, I screamed and screamed for help