"Tony, can you come in here?"
Lucille calls from the kitchen, and considering that she sounds exasperated and borderline sardonically amused rather than worried or in the middle of earth-shaking sobs, Tony doesn't think he has to de-spring his step any.
The diner is small and in a matter of seconds he's standing next to Lucille Rainey, whose got her hand pressed against the phone.
"There's been a bit of a problem-" She starts, and stops herself mid sentence when Tony's heart physically almost seems to fall through the floor. "Nothing like that, honey. They've got Pepper at the station and she's fine, but there's been kind of a misunderstanding-"
"Misunderstanding?"
"Well, one of Al's boys picked her up early this morning. Found her crying on the side of the road. At first they thought something bad happened, but when she kept insisting she knew you personally and that you'd been driving her around, well, I mean— you have to understand Tony, that does sound pretty crazy-"
"What did they do with her!?"
"Now, you relax. I told you already, she's at the station and she's been there all day-"
"They arrested her!?"
"They're just holding her for now-"
"I need to get her out immediately!"
"Tony-"
"Oh my god they've probably-"
"Now don't you go using the lord's name in vain Anthony Stark!"
Tony felt the sarcastic reply bubbling against the backs of his teeth, but he could tell from the look in Lucille Rainey's eyes that she meant it and expected an apology.
"Sorry ma'am." He says and she nods before taking her hand off of the receiver and pressing the phone back to her ear.
"Now, you've really done it this time Albert Ruiz." She says sternly with a wink at Tony and he might think he's actually just a little bit in love with her.
"You've probably gone and terrorized that poor girl for nothing at all. Made her out to be a liar for no good reason. I've got Tony Stark on the line right now. Here."
Lucille Rainey drops the phone into Tony's hand and he stares at it.
"I'm sure you know how to use a telephone."
Tony presses it to his ear. "Umm, ah, police? Hi?"
"For pete's sake! And I thought you were smarter than that blood hound."
"Hi, This is Tony Stark, ah, you can let my friend Pepper out. Turns out, funny story, she's not some crazy homeless chick pretending to know me; I mean, not that I could blame a wacko homeless chick for pretending to know me because, of all the people you could pretend to know I'm probably in the top five percent world wide of people who you would want-"
"Stop talking about how great you are and come get me out of here, jerk off!" He hears Pepper call and he breaks out in a grin.
"Comin atcha dollface, soon as your pancakes are done I'm booking." He yells into the receiver and he hears the police chief groan.
"Nobody even says dollface anymore, what are you, fifty?" She yells back.
"If by that you mean 'Am I a distinguished gentleman?', then yeah."
"Tony, I swear I am going to-"
"Do you or do you not want pancakes?"
He hears Pepper mumble something on the other end of the line and then he hears police chief Al Ruiz repeat what he'd said.
"Can I get those pancakes in a box, Mrs. Rainey?" Tony asks and the woman nods. He leans back into the phone. "Tell Pepper I'll be there before she can think of another thing to call me."
Police Chief Al Ruiz had started to say something, but Tony had slammed the phone back down before a full syllable could escape.
"You've certainly got a way with people, Tony."
"I'm plenty charming, Mrs. Rainey." He insists and she shakes her head with a fond smile. Before he knows it he's got a box of pancakes in his hands, and directions to the local police station in his head.
"Can I take the newspaper, too?" He asks and she puts it on top of his pancake box and ruffles his hair.
"It's that Loki Lauff isn't it? The whole world's crazy over him. But, then again, I guess the world's always crazy over something. He'd be a handsome boy if he didn't tart himself up like that. It's strange."
Tony says nothing.
"I want the both of you back here right away, Tony Stark. No more trouble."
"Yes ma'am." He says and limps out of the diner.
Review Replies:
tamtamsam: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. That's so beautiful.
narcifosho: back atchu bb
Tiarna: Thank you so much!
AN: I reedited this while watching Gangnam Style. If you haven't seen it yet, you should youtube that shit.