The Choices We Make

"You miss Alex, don't you?"

Edmund glanced up, startled out of his reverie by the question. Zia watched him intently from where she sat about two feet away from him, drawing patterns in the sand with her finger. He heaved a sigh. Everyone around him felt the moroseness that had radiated from him ever since Alex left for Archenland three days previously. His brother and sisters tried to think of ways to cheer him up to no avail. Eventually they had sent Ivy to the grove with a message for Zia desperately asking her to talk to him. Zia was the last resort – if he didn't listen to her then all other attempts would be futile.

"She's my best friend, of course I miss her," he replied bitterly. "She didn't even tell me why she left. It felt like watching you leave all over again."

"Don't bring me into this." Edmund's eyes returned to the small stone he held between his fingers. Softly, Zia placed her hand on his knee. "You know how much she cares for you. I'm sure she never meant to leave you feeling like this."

"The Alex I knew would never do this," he muttered sadly.

"Really? Someone as independent and spirited as Alex would never seek adventure by going off on her own?"

"She would never go anywhere without me," he insisted.

She took his hands. "Maybe it's time you let go of the past and move on. You've both grown up and things were never going to stay the same forever."

He looked up at her, tears shining in his eyes. "I just don't understand why she wouldn't explain herself. I would have willingly let her go if I had known where she was going. What if she gets into trouble?"

"You of all people should know that Alex can take care of herself. You saw what a brilliant job she did looking after me. Have faith in her. Besides, she won't be alone. Aslan will watch over her. Perhaps it was his idea for her to leave in the first place."

"I'll still miss her terribly," he murmured.

"Of course you will. Any fool could see how special you are to one another." She held out her arms and Edmund gladly crawled into them. She stroked his hair and hummed a soothing tune, just like his mother used to do when he was small.

"I want you to come back to Cair Paravel."

The words broke the comfortable silence they had been enjoying in the company of one another's arms. They lay together on the sand with Zia's head on Edmund's chest and his arms forming a protective circle around her. The position had seemed strange at first – to Zia anyway. She had never been so close to him before and the proximity was disconcerting but the even rhythm of his chest rising and falling as he breathed soon calmed her down. Edmund's statement had her propping herself up on her elbow to get a better look at him. The hand that reached up to lightly stroke her face almost mimicked the pale shade of the moon.

"Say something," he murmured.

She tore her gaze away from him and instead watched the tide roll lazily in and out. "I have no purpose in that place," she said sadly.

"You don't need a purpose. You would be an honoured guest."

She cracked a smile. "Guests can't loiter around forever, Edmund. Besides my people would not be pleased if I ever went back there."

"Well I won't be pleased if you don't come back." He pouted and received a jab in the ribs for being petulant. "Hey! I'm not the only one who misses having you around. Lucy says she loved talking to you about the forest creatures and such and even Susan misses your company. Plus the castle has been a little lonely since Alex left."

"Mmm." She crossed her arms on his chest and rested her chin on them, gazing thoughtfully towards the forest where most of her people would be sleeping. "It's not that I don't want to go back," she said after a long pause, "I just fear their reactions – Maia's especially – after the other night. I don't want you and the others to be on bad terms with Dryads for the rest of your days."

"I won't be on bad terms with one Dryad, though," he pointed out, combing his fingers through her hair. "And, if I'm honest, she's the only one whose opinion I really value."

"Don't be ridiculous, you have to care about the opinions of all your subjects, King Edmund."

"It's the truth." He held up his hands when she shot him a look.

They looked at each other for a moment before Zia suddenly jumped to her feet. Edmund, always one step behind, could only stare after her as she ran through the surf and straight into the water until it was up to her knees. Then he was on his feet too and hurrying to join her. She laughed and splashed at him as soon as he was in range. He retaliated and soon they were both drenched to the skin and neither could stop laughing even though there was a chance someone might hear them.

Edmund lunged forward and grabbed Zia round the waist, hoisting her onto his shoulder in one fluid movement. She shrieked and pounded her fists on his back.

"Put me down this instant, Edmund! Do you hear? This instant!"

"What sort of king would I be if I didn't obey a lady's wishes?" Edmund said, pulling her off his shoulder and depositing her on her behind in the water. The scowl on her face only made him laugh harder. The scowl disappeared as Zia hopped gracefully onto Edmund's back, digging her heels into his sides like a horse. She made him trot, canter and gallop through the shallows until they were both breathless with laughter. Zia slid down from her perch and Edmund turned to face her with a broad grin that precisely matched her own.

He caught a stray hair and carefully tucked it behind her ear. "Please. I promise not to let Maia or anyone else punish you. Please."

"Ed…" Zia placed her palms flat on his toned stomach, not pushing him away but not allowing him any closer. "Trust me when I say that I want to. But I can't go back there without good reason. It would destroy the relationship I have with my clan. Without them I would have no one left."

"You've always got me," he assured her softly. "I'll protect you from anything."

She laughed quietly. "I rather think you're the one that needs protecting sometimes, even if it's only from yourself." Edmund's eyes lit up as though a bonfire had flared behind them. "What is it?"

"Your purpose," he said, a smile stretching across his face. "You'll be my protector."

Zia laughed. "How can I be when I can't even keep myself safe?"

"We'll protect each other," Edmund said, placing his hands on her shoulders, "You'll never have to leave my side."

That was certainly very tempting but Zia wouldn't admit it out loud. She pursed her lips, pretending to think it over. "I suppose I could…"

"You have great skill in handling a bow," Edmund continued in a rush. "And I could teach you the basics of fighting with a sword and you can come with me on trips and…" He was cut off when Zia put a finger to his lips.

"Okay, King Edmund the Just. I shall be your guardian."

Goodbyes were spoken without tears on the morning of Zia's departure. The majority of the Dryads that had once been her friends – her sisters – only offered uninterested glances by means of farewell. They could not understand why Zia would give up her kin just to be with a Man. It went against their very nature. Men were interesting and fun to play with when boredom set in but they would soon be dropped in favour of a dance or a race through the trees with a few deer. Yes this Man was a king but that didn't make him any more special than the rest of them.

Only three people gathered to see her off. Breejit was on his feet and looking much healthier after his ordeal but his long face was overcome with a mixture of confusion, sadness and acceptance. He too could not comprehend Zia's reasons behind leaving but he knew that trying to prevent it would be useless and they would only continue to go around in circles. He allowed her to gather his body into her arms but could not bring himself to beg her to stay.

She noticed his lack of emotion and her face fell. "Are you not upset?" she asked.

Breejit sighed quietly. "I am beyond that, Zia. I know that I cannot hope to talk you out of it. So I shall wish you well and be done with it. Be safe."

As the Fox walked away, Davlon stepped forwards. His eyes were also dry and his face no less noble than usual. Another blade skewered Zia's heart as she realised the Centaur had shed more tears for Pelerine's death than for her parting.

"Seren will take you to Cair Paravel, my Lady," he said in his deep, rich voice. "Once again, I bid you farewell."

"Goodbye," she managed to whisper.

Davlon he placed two fingers in his mouth and whistled one long, piercing note. The mare emerged from the trees and trotted to her friend's side. He murmured in her ear and she seemed to nod before moving to Zia's side ready for her to mount.

Maia was the last to come forwards. She swept her dark eyes over Zia and shook her head slightly. "I do not pretend to understand why you have chosen to go through with this," she said in a tone that was less than warm but not as harsh as Zia had expected. "When I became Empress I swore an oath to do everything in my power to protect all of the subjects under my care. Although you have decided not to live with us any longer, that promise still applies to you. I will not abandon you and neither will this clan. A welcome will await you should you ever choose to return."

Looking around at the absence of people coming to say goodbye, Zia seriously doubted that was true. "I would understand if I was no longer welcome here," she murmured. "But I'm grateful to you for keeping your arms open to me. Thank you, my Lady."

The slightest hint of a smile ghosted Maia's lips. "The ties between our people run deeper than the bonds within any family, even that of the Kings and Queens. Although they may not show it, my Dryads would be glad to have you back - as would I. We respect your decision but that does not mean we approve of it." The stern voice of the Empress was back as quickly as it had disappeared. "Do not expect us to mourn your departure or eagerly await your homecoming. If you return, we will take you in again. If you do not, our lives will carry on as normal. Do you understand?"

"Yes, my Lady."

"Good. Now, you had better be on your way. Take care of yourself, child."

Maia turned and followed Davlon and Breejit's path into the trees, leaving Zia alone with Seren. The mare nosed at a cluster of ferns, seemingly unconcerned with how long Zia spent gathering the courage necessary to climb onto her back and ride away from her family for good.

"No one wants me here; I have no reason to stay," she said out loud. Seren showed no sign of having heard her. "At least there are people who want me at Cair Paravel. I'd much rather be there than a place where no one cares about me." This last was said a little louder and directed towards the spot where Breejit, Davlon and Maia had all vanished into the trees.

Turning to the horse - who had raised her head to see what the fuss was about - Zia grabbed a fistful of Seren's mane and swung herself onto the warm, broad back. The horse whinnied a little in surprise at the vigour with which Zia whirled her around and flattened her ears against her head. Zia took no notice. With a final irate glare at the trees she used to call home, Zia hug her heels into Seren's flanks and left the Grove behind for the final time.

After a mile or so of hard galloping Zia's temper began to ease and she slowed Seren to a walk. The horse gratefully stretched her neck until her muzzle almost brushed the floor. Her damp flanks heaved beneath Zia's legs. Feeling guilty for her rough treatment of the mare, Zia let Seren tear up mouthfuls of grass as she walked and stroked her pretty neck. She was travelling light, with only her bow and quiver on her back and the package Alexandra had given her in a little pouch tied around her waist. She lifted the curious parcel out, inspecting it from every angle.

Open it when autumn comes, the physician had said. It wasn't much of a clue. She lifted a hand to touch the pendant, warm and reassuring against her skin.

The ride to the Cair was lonely by herself and more than once she felt tempted to turn around. She longed to see Edmund's chocolate-brown eyes again; the safety of his arms was as good as – if not better than – the safety she felt whilst surrounded by her sisters at the Grove. She didn't need them to protect her, she had him.

"I was wondering what was taking you so long."

Edmund had somehow managed to sneak up on her. Philip was now walking alongside Seren close enough for their riders' knees to brush. Seren greeted the chestnut Horse with a pleased snort as Edmund offered Zia a dazzling smile.

"You were waiting for me?"

Edmund shrugged one shoulder. "I guess I was. Don't tell Peter and Susan – they think I've gone out to patrol the woods."

"So how will you explain my sudden appearance?"

He shrugged again. "I'll think of something. Are you alright? You look upset."

Zia stared down at Seren's mane. "Let's just say I didn't receive much of a send-off."

"You'll receive a great welcome when we get back to the Cair," Edmund assured her. "You can even have your room back. Lucy has built up quite a collection of dresses for you."

"Careful, people might start to think you were actually excited about my coming back," she teased.

Edmund smiled. "I've arranged for you to be given a few lessons in swordsmanship, as promised."

Her eyes widened – she still didn't hold a high opinion of swords. "Must you?"

He nodded fervently. "You need to be prepared for any situation. There's no need to be frightened, I'm a good teacher."

They began training the very next day. Edmund made her rise at an ungodly hour, wash and dress in an old jerkin of Lucy's and they headed down to the training ring where Edmund had already laid out the weapons. He chose a fairly light sword that would be easy on her slight frame and faced her across the sand. He showed her various lunges, swings and blocks, commanding her to practise them over and over until her arms ached and she was prepared to aim the sword at his head. It was just like her archery training with Sayalla, only there were moments when Zia was completely mesmerised with the way Edmund moved. The way he handled his sword was effortless. Each swing flowed into the next like the moves of an intricate dance.

She would have been happy to spend all their training time staring at him but he refused to stand still for more than a minute. He would suddenly yell "Parry!" and bring his sword down towards her head. She would snap out of her daydreaming just in time to bring her blade up to meet his. If he hadn't deliberately altered his swings so that the blade never touched her, she would have lost all four of her limbs several times over in the first few lessons alone.

As time went on, training became more and more brutal. He moved slowly, giving her plenty of time to react, but her arms still vibrated with the force of his blows. Every so often he would step back to allow her time to catch her breath, only to bark a command without warning and swing for her head again.

"Have you ever heard of resting?" she complained after her slowing reactions had almost resulted in her losing a hand. The point of her sword dangled just above the ground and her arms felt too weak to lift it.

He, on the other hand, wasn't even sweating. He twirled the sword without taking his eyes off her, his face as calm and relaxed as it had been when they'd started.

"Show off," Zia muttered to herself, shifting her weight and hefting the sword so that the blade was in front of her face. She would be ready this time.

Instead of shouting another command, Edmund sheathed his sword and stepped in a slow half-circle until he was at her side. She eyed him warily. Without a word, he placed his hand on her shoulder then gently moved his palm down until it came to rest on her elbow. He applied a slight pressure to the crease, coaxing her arm into bending. His eyes returned to hers and she swallowed, returning the moisture to her dry throat. She felt her heart hammering and her legs trembling as he ran his hand down the back of each of her thighs, bending each knee in turn. He didn't say a word as he straightened and examined his work. Her stance was much stronger and she supported the sword's weight with her knees as well as her elbows. She looked less likely to be dragged down by the weapon and more like she was ready to use it to some effect.

He smiled at the blush on her cheeks. "Do you feel ready now?"

She nodded, her eyes as round as saucers.

"Good. Parry!"

There was a deafening clang as their swords smashed into contact. His strength made her arms tremble even though he was holding back. With some effort, Zia slid her blade along his and swung it round to slash at his waist. He danced out of the way, bringing his sword up to lunge at her ribs. She managed to jump back out of range but stumbled. In desperation she swiped her sword at his legs but he jumped clear. He blocked her next few swings before they even came close to connecting with him. She lunged determinedly at his chest and in a blur of movement he knocked the weapon right out of her hand. Then his arm was around her shoulders and the blade was at her neck.

"Dead," he murmured next to her ear.

"That's hardly fair," she grumbled, folding her arms.

He chuckled. "You put up a pretty good fight considering it was your first time."

"If I had my bow it would have gone in completely the opposite direction. I would have had your eye out before you'd even raised that silly piece of metal."

"Perhaps," he conceded, releasing her. "Pick up the sword, let's go again."

Sticking out her tongue at him, Zia did as she was told. Their next sparring match went much the same way – Zia's frustration drove her to slash at his body like a wild thing which, of course, was a huge mistake. His sword brushed off her attacks almost lazily, his mouth bearing an amused smile. Inevitably, she was worn down after a few minutes and raised her hands in surrender. She dropped the sword and followed it down onto the sand, flopping onto her back and throwing her arm dramatically across her face.

Edmund sighed, putting away his sword and sitting beside her. He watched her chest erratically rise and fall until her breathing began to even out and she dropped her arm. Her eyes found his as she sat up, pushing damp hair back from her face.

"I hope you don't treat all of your students like that."

Edmund smiled sheepishly. "Actually, you're my first student."

"Then how did you know you were a good teacher?"

He reached back and fiddled with the hair at the nape of his neck. "I only said that so you would trust me to come near you with a sword. I still remember how scared of it you were at the Solstice."

"I wasn't scared," she huffed. "There was no need to bring it with you."

"Alright, alright," he conceded. "The point is that you're making good progress. Whether that's down to my teaching skills or not is another matter." The corners of his eyes crinkled as he smiled. Zia looked away and the smile widened.

"What are you grinning at?" she mumbled.

"The blush looks lovely on your cheeks." He touched his finger to the underside of her chin, bringing her face up. "Zia, look at me."

His voice was hypnotic, drawing her eyes downward to be pulled into the depths of his gaze. His eyes bound her like chains that she couldn't struggle against even if she'd wanted to. His long eyelashes fluttered as he blinked at her. His face was close enough for her to count the freckles dotted across his nose and cheekbones. His name came out of her mouth as a feeble, breathy whisper.

"Ed…"

The distance between them became nothing as his lips touched hers. The kiss was brief, hesitant, but sweet and as he started to move back Zia automatically reached for him, sliding her hand around the back of his neck. Every nerve ending was a livewire as she firmly pulled his face back to hers. His arms wound their way around her waist until there was no space between their bodies. She was safe in his arms, protected from anything and everything. She could stare the world straight in the eyes because he would be there, always there.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that." Edmund's voice was husky and laced with something halfway between relief and a kind of fervent enthusiasm.

She hummed in reply, resting her forehead tenderly against his. "Part of me wishes I'd let you do it sooner."

He leaned back to look at her. "Only part of you?"

"It's nothing you've done," she assured him, shifting so that both her hands were free to gently cup his face. "I'm just new to all of this – it's all a little frightening, to be truthful."

"That makes two of us," he said with a soft laugh.

Someone coughed. Zia started and hurriedly shuffled away from Edmund, whose eyes had already located the form of his older brother. Peter was leaning casually against the fence, dressed in a brown jerkin and trousers and trying to look as though he hadn't been there long enough to witness what had happened.

"Is there something we can help you with, Pete?" Edmund tried to sound cross even as a grin broke across his face.

"Sorry to interrupt your… training session," Peter said with a smirk. "There's an important council meeting in half an hour that demands your presence, Edmund. I trust you hadn't forgotten?"

A look crossed Edmund's face that made Zia sure that he had forgotten about the meeting, but he had composed himself in a matter of seconds. "Of course I remembered," he scoffed. "In fact you can count on me to be early."

"Looks like I arrived just in time," said Peter, taking in Zia's damp and grimy appearance. "Zia could do with a good bath. I'll send Lucy down to escort you. Ed, you'd better get changed." With that he turned on his heel and walked away, chuckling to himself.

"It appears this is where we depart," Edmund said with a grin.

He got to his feet and grasped Zia's forearm, pulling her up as well. He pulled her close and brushed a stray lock of hair behind her ear before gently pressing his lips to hers. He stepped back before either of them could become distracted. Zia bit back an indignant protest as, with a cheery wave, Edmund headed back towards the castle.

When Lucy found her, Zia's eyes were still locked on Edmund's retreating form even though he had long disappeared through a door.

With a beaming smile, Lucy took Zia's hand and started to tug her in the opposite direction towards a more convenient entrance to the building. "Don't worry, you'll see him again later," she teased with a giggle.