The first thing Tony realizes about Loki Lauff is that his fans are quite literally insane.
And he hasn't even gotten to the concert yet. He nearly got killed by a hoard just buying the tickets.
And it wasn't even a hoard of huns or stampeding elephants.
As far as he could tell, it was a hoard of mostly girls between the ages of 16 and 25 in sci-fi heels with blue and orange and green hair, glitter going from their eyelashes to eyebrows, and clothing in colors he wasn't even sure existed.
There was also one guy, in a business suit and heels.
Tony was pretty sure the guy grabbed his ass when he wasn't looking.
He also wasn't sure whether he was wearing the business suit or the heels ironically.
Needless to say, all of this had him less than stoked for the actual event. The show is tomorrow night, and he's been inhaling cheeseburgers ever since he bought the tickets.
So that would be four days of him working toward a glorious death-by-cheeseburger.
In fact, he currently has three on the way and Pepper is looking at him almost sadly.
"Don't like your malted?" He asks and Pepper shakes her head.
"Pepppppeeerrrrrr." He trills and she says nothing again.
"Is it because he's queer?"
"What?"
"Your Loki Laughs-a-lot. You afraid he'll like me better?"
"Tony-"
"Because, I couldn't really blame him. I mean, look at this face. I mean, and it's attached to the rest of me, which is pretty friggin ace—"
"Do you have something against the year 1980?"
And Tony is lost. He's kind of been calling himself Captain Clam Bake in his head since Pepper laid the title on him. He thinks that if he's Captain Clam Bake than Pepper is The Loop Thrower.
"Because sometimes I think you hate it so much you don't want to live to see it."
"I haven't had a drink in three days! And you were pretty rocked too on Tuesday so I don't see-"
The waitress plonks down his cheeseburgers and Pepper's fries and cuts out. Tony attacks his food with unholy glee.
"Man, replacing beer with cheeseburgers isn't—"
"Shhhhh." Says Tony through a mouthful of burger. Half-masticated meat falls out from between his teeth and Pepper grimaces.
"A chorus of heavenly angels are singing in my head and I can't hear them over the sound of you worrying too much."
Pepper sullenly dips a fry in her malted and lets it go.
"So, did you know he's like a mime?" She asks.
"Who?"
"Loki Lauff!"
"I thought he was some sort of queer space alien musical genius shakespearian tragedy thing."
"Well, he is! But before that they say he was a mime! They also say he was a buddhist monk! He also answers all of his fan mail himself! Every last letter! He really appreciates his fans you know and…"
Tony nods in a place he suspects might be relevant before turning his attention back to the gloriously hot and cheesy burger in his hands. Once Pepper gets started on Loki she could go past the end of the world. Possibly the universe.
He thinks that she still doesn't have the kind of feelings for Loki that he has for cheeseburgers.
Sen2TOS9: Fanx! :)