"NO, THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!" Sobbed Jimmy beside the dirt road. As the others neared, he stopped them in grief "Oh, Eddy, Double d, an evil bird had shanghaied Sarah! You must save her, as you did the fair maiden!"

"Not so fair to me," Eddy grumbled to himself.

"Of course we will, Jimmy, what kind of people would we be if we didn't?" Double d replied

"We, WHAT'S THIS WE STUFF!" Eddy yelled as they continued to follow Ed. He grabbed a boat sitting near the tiny dock and pushed it into the water, screaming "I'M COMING SARAH!". He rowed out to sea while the boat quickly began to sink under him.

"ED WAIT!" Double d cried, "That boat is riddled with knotholes!" the water was up to Ed's neck now "Oh, Yeah!" he declared sheepishly as he swam for shore. "Take me to the birdie!" Ed Demanded of Tetra "What? You want to come with us?" she asked in disbelief. "I'm coming too!" Double d announced. "Do you two understand what you're asking? We're pirates! Terror of the seas! What do we get out of bringing a couple of kids with us? A headache, that's what!"

"Tetra, please!" Double d interrupted, "We need Sarah back, she's just-"

"I GOTTA SAVE SARAH! IF I DON'T JIMMY WILL TELL MOM, MOM WILL TELL DAD, AND DAD WILL SIT THERE AND EAT CHEESE!" Ed sobbed.

"Listen Ed, I know how you feel, but this doesn't have anything to do with us."

"And what makes you say that?" it was the postman from before.

"Wait a minute," Gonzo intervened "Who are you?! Where do you get off, butting in on other people's conversations?!"

"Well, if you never came to this island, that poor girl wouldn't have been kidnapped by that bird."

"Then again, they didn't really have control over the bird's-

Double d started before Ed covered his mouth: "Sh, the bird-man is helping us."

"Now as my work entails delivering letters, I spend much of my time traveling amongst the many islands. As a result, I hear many things." The postman continued, "Apparently girls from all over the great sea have been kidnapped by that giant bird and taken to the Forsaken Fortress, but instead of kidnapping a girl like you, with pointy ears like it normally does, it must have taken Sarah by mistake. And unless you help these boys find her, she may never be seen again."

For a moment you could almost see guilt on Tetra's face.

"Not to mention WE saved your sorry butt from bokoblins!" Eddy pointed out

"Why Eddy, I didn't know you wanted to help!" Double d confessed

"Help? I just want a free ride to Windfall!" Tetra looked at the three with pity and came to her conclusion.

"Let's make one thing clear," she announced "If' your coming with us, it's Forsaken Fortress or bust! I'll give you guy's an hour to pack and say good-bye to this island, anyone who isn't back on time is left behind!"

"NO WAY!" Eddy yelled.

"Aw, Come on Eddy!" Ed begged

"FORGET IT!" he repeated

"Eddy, I really hoped I wouldn't have to resort to this, but when it's over I'll tell you where to find one-hundred rupees on this island if you just come help us." Double d promised. Eddy leaped in the air "See ya guys in an hour!" he shouted with joy as he ran for home.

"Thank You Bird-man" Ed wailed as he pulled him into another hug. "No problem, name's Quill, by the way." he choked out before Ed left for his house. "Thank-you, Tetra." Double d humbly announced as he left for his home.

"Hey, Double d!" Tetra called as he was almost home.

"Find something you can use as a shield. The Forsaken Fortress is dangerous, and I don't want you to get killed." Despite wording it to sound tough, her real concern reached him. "Ok." He shakily replied as he entered his home for the last time in a long time.

"Why does she remind me so much of Nazz?" he thought as he gathered his magnifying glass and several books into his rucksack. "No, don't think of Nazz, she's gone. Keep to the task at hand." He had gathered many nonperishable foods and brought all he thought would be useful, and he wrote a letter to his parents about the circumstance and telling them not to worry. "Just one more thing" he thought as he filled out a small sticky-note. He lifted the family shield from its laurels and stuck the note in its place. It read

Dear mom and dad,

My Quest requires the use of our

Family shield's protection. I hope it

Will not be too terribly missed.

Love,

Eddward.

As Double d left his house and locked it, one other duty occurred to him, "I should tell Sturgeon that I'd miss a few lessons while gone" before knocking on his door Sturgeon answered, as if he knew Double d would come. "I'll take it you're going with them pirates to save Ed's sister."

"Yes…how did you know?"

"I heard it all from my balcony. What you're doing's very brave."

"Well, Ed and I have known each other from birth, I have to help him in his time of need."

"That reminds me a lot of myself when I was younger, I used to be a swordsman too, y'know!"

"REALLY! But you hate it when Orca practices swordplay!"

"That's cause he's always stronger than me, but I was always the smart one. That reminds me, wait here." Sturgeon ran back into his house and within moments reemerged with a book in his hands. It was a gold journal, though it looked a little worn in places. The cover read in large red letters:

The Wayfarer's Guide to the Great Sea

By Sturgeon

"I wrote that on my travels while journeying with my brother, though it's still got lot's of room for improvement. Write about your travels, about monsters weaknesses, songs, anything you think deserves a place in it."

"Thank-you, I promise I'll take good care of it." Double d promised.

"I know you will boy, now hurry, You've got ten minutes till the hour's up!"

Ed and Eddy sat on the dock with their bags full of what they thought they would need (which to Ed constituted almost everything he owned). When they saw Double d coming they made room for him. "Look Double d! My parents filled a bottle with gravy just for me when the heard I'd be leaving!" Ed Announced excitedly.

"That's wonderful, Ed!" Double d humored.

"So what's this?" Eddy grabbed the guide and flipped through the pages

"It's a guidebook Sturgeon entrusted to me for continuation and general safekeeping." Double d stated with pride. No, not THAT kind of pride!

"Are you three ready?" Tetra impatiently asked from the deck of her huge ship.

"We'll be there momentarily!" Double d assured as the three walked up the gangplank to the hull. Eddy's bag seemed exceedingly heavy on his shoulders. "Here Eddy, let me help you with that." Double d offered, until he got a good look at it… "Eddy, Did you pack anything but rupees?"

"Who needs stuff when you've got money!"

"I agree that money is important for the journey, but I didn't make it the centerpiece of my supplies." Double d opened his own bag to show him. "I keep a small wallet, along with a filled bait bag and several containers of nonperishable foods, amongst other things."

"Hey Tetra! We ready to go?" Called a pirate from the very back of the ship, near a gong. Physically he was as tall and muscular as Gonzo, but he sported a beard that formed a ring around his head, like a lion's mane.

"BRO?" Eddy asked, almost breathless.

"PIPSQUEAK?!?" The pirate looked shell- shocked, as Eddy got closer.

"Senza, You know this kid?" Tetra asked in surprise

"KNOW HIM? I TAUGHT HIM EVERYTHING I KNOW!" Senza replied, giving Eddy a Dutch-rub.

"What're ya doing here, bro?" Eddy asked.

"Working. Didn't I tell you in my letter that I was working on a pirate ship? What about you, still planning to strike it rich on windfall?"

"Yeah, but first I gotta save Ed's sister. The Brat got herself kidnapped."

"Heh, reminds me of all those times I'd bail you outta trouble. You know, we didn't plan this, but I'm kinda glad I got to see ya today, I always wondered what I'd be like to see you as a man…"

"Sorry to interrupt this little love fest," Tetra sarcastically chimed in, "-but we've gotta get going. The Forsaken Fortress is a long way off."

"Yes, Ma'am!" all on deck saluted.

The ship shoved off at high noon. Everyone who was currently in the village, which included Jimmy, Ed's parents, Orca, Rolf, and Sturgeon turned out to see the Ed's off.

"Good luck, boys!" Orca and Sturgeon called out.

"Don't forged to wear clean underwear, Ed!" his mom reminded.

"Yes, mommie!" Ed replied.

"HIT THAT MEAN OLD BIRD ONCE FOR ME!" Jimmy demanded.

"Let luck be with you, three-acting-as-one Ed boys!"

"Au Revoir Fellow villagers," Double d responded

" Ya, See ya around!" Eddy quickly hissed

"Gravy!" Ed shouted without thought.

The islander's waved, smiling superficially until they were sure the Ed's were out of earshot, then Rolf announced flatly, "They are dead."

"Mmm-hmm!" Ed's mom agreed ambling back home. The rest followed suit except for Sturgeon and Jimmy.

"Too bad." Sturgeon mumbled, "Double d would've made a great assistant, if only he hadn't followed that 'saving Sarah' moonshine!"

"But Sturgeon," Jimmy weakly interjected, "What if they do rescue her?"

"Look sonny, thirty years ago, another little girl was kidnapped from this island and her brother tried to do the same thing The Ed's are doing today three times; we're lucky that one ever returned alive on his own. And knowing how pathetic a team those three are, there's really no hope."

Jimmy stared out to sea, his only hope of seeing his childhood friend and protector again crossing the horizon, and he thought as he did so: they may be pathetic, but they're the only heroes left on this island of doubters.

As Eddy and Ed stashed away their things Tetra addressed them.

"You three will be working with Niko in the hold."

"Oh, I get it! He's the first mate, right?" Eddy deduced with enthusiasm

"Actually, Gonzo's the first mate. Niko's the guy that washes our underwear…"

"Figures!" Eddy grumbled.

"Now I really CAN wear clean underwear!" Ed yelled with joy. As the other two left for the hold, Double d stayed behind for just a moment.

"Thanks again for taking us with you" He told her yet again.

"Just because I'm a pirate, doesn't mean I can't do a good deed," she replied, "Now hurry down to the hold, I've got work to do!"

Double d caught up to his friends in a small chamber that lead to both the hold and another room that another muscular pirate was guarding.

"I'm not lettin' ya in here, squirt. This is Tetra's room, most of us real pirates aren't allowed in here."

"Oh, really…" Eddy whispered.

"Eddy, we should really be getting to Niko, and NOT CAUSING TROUBLE!" Double d advised.

"Buttered toast!" was Ed's clueless reply as they made their way down into the hold.

"They're you are!" before them stood a short rat like pirate, about as tall as Eddy "I'm Niko. And as of today, you three are my swabbies!"

"Do we have to wash underwear?" Eddy asked sourly, "Cause I've washed enough underwear for one life… Unless of course, they're Tetra's we're talking about!"

"EDDY, THAT'S DISGUSTING!" Double d shouted in humiliation.

"Nah, I've got something better planned." Niko answered.

"Oh boy, do we get to play duck-duck-goose?" Ed suggested.

"No, Better! You get to take the 'initiation test!' watch what I do, and you'll get the idea." he waddled over to a large pressure switch and jumped onto it. After doing so, several platforms rose from the bottom of the floor, to the height of the main drop-off Niko and the Eds were standing on.

"Ingenious!" whispered Double d.

"Steppin' on the switch is the only easy part." Niko reminded them as he ran from the switch to a nearby platform. "Now, ya see, that next platform's too far away, right?" he jumped from the platform to a hanging light fixture, and grabbed the hempen rope securing it to the ceiling. "That's when ya gotta do this!" he instructed while swinging on the rope. He continued alternating between platforms and ropes until he was on the other side of the room, where a small nook hid a chest.

"Ah, that's easy!" Eddy challenged

"EASY?" Niko roared "You'll be lucky if the three of you can finish it in a year!"

"Me first! Me first!" Ed begged.

"Be our guest." Double d stepped aside for Ed.

Ed stomped the switch into the ground and leapt for the platform as Niko did, but while swinging overshot the second, smashing into the wooden walls of the ship. "See, it isn't easy!" Niko gloated as he pointed to a ladder next to the platform. "Try again, swabbie." Ed tried five more times, the platforms falling early twice. But the sixth try did the trick.

"I DID IT GUYS!" He announced

"Good swabbie, here's a cookie." Niko took a piece of hardtack from his pocket and tossed it off the nook's edge. Ed leapt after it and shook the whole ship with a belly flop.

"Ok, Mr. Overconfident!" He addressed Eddy "You're turn."

"Don't blink." Eddy gloated, as he leapt from the platform to the first rope, doing slightly better than Ed on the initial try, but falling on the third rope.

"Hah! Told ya!" Niko boasted from the nook while Eddy muttered unspeakable filth. It took him ten tries to get where Ed got to in six.

"All right, last swabbie, let's see what you got!"

"Well, I guess I should give it the old college try." Double d stepped onto the switch without an ounce of confidence. He grabbed the rope and swung just over the platform…but didn't let go! "Hurry up, sockhead!" Eddy goaded,

"I'm trying! But every time I almost let go, I lose my nerve!" He sheepishly confessed.

"You can do it, Double d!" Ed encouraged as his friend swung limply from the light fixture. "I've got to try"

He let go, landing in the center of the platform. "I DID IT!" he exclaimed with pride. "Let's see ya do it again!" Niko challenged.

Again he swung a couple of times before letting go, turning in accordance to the platform's direction, continuing along the platforms until he heard a loud ticking, the platforms were about to drop. He leapt to the final rope in time, but the final platform was now gone.

"Oh, so close! Tell ya what, I'll-" this time Niko was cut off, by Double d of all people! He swung from the rope to the cove, a meter and a half away, and just barely made it on his first try! As his friends helped him into the cove, Niko stood amazed. "N-no one's ever completed it in one try! What's you're name swabbie?" He asked.

"Eddward, but everyone calls me Double d."

"I am honored to have you as my underling, Double d. As a reward for finishing in record time, please take what's in the chest." Niko stepped aside as Double d opened the chest, in it laid a bag, designed to look like a monster. "It's a spoils bag, you use it to hold the things monsters drop."

"Sweet!" Eddy perked up.

"Hey, hey!" Niko intervened, "That's Double d's not yours!"

"That's ok, Niko. We're childhood friends, I'll probably end up letting him hold it anyway."

"Guy's we're here!" Tetra called from above.

"We'll be up shortly!" Double d responded, as he swung his way back to the main platform.

" And, with such style…" Niko whispered, "I'll have to design a more challenging course!"

"Nice knowin' ya!" Eddy sarcastically yelled as he departed.

"Whatever,"

"See you later, Mr. Niko-" Ed absent-mindedly walked right off the platform, into a face plant, while Niko let fly a sadistic grin.

The moon and stars lightened the dark sky when the Eds reemerged from the hold. "Niko's prediction that our trial would take a year fell far short, I believe we were down there for no more than eight hours." Double d deduced.

"Whatever. Tetra, we're ready!" Eddy Called into the night.

"I'm up here, loudmouth!" She responded from high upon the crow's nest. "Hurry up!"

"But Tetra," Double d pleaded, "You're so high up!"

"And you call yourselves men." She rolled her eyes.

"WHAZZAT S'POSED TO MEAN?" Eddy challenged, practically dragging his pals to the mast

The three climbed the mast's ladder, their muscles aching from their previous endeavor. When they finally reached the top, they could see a large stone Fort rising from the never-ending Sea. How grand was it you ask? Anchors bigger than cows swayed from rising platforms in the breeze. "What were you three doing down there with Niko?" She asked as soon as they were on their feet.

"The initiation!" Ed answered.

"In- what Initiation? Well, whatever! That's the Forsaken Fortress." She pointed to a window surrounded with seagulls "I'll bet that's where they're keeping your sister, Ed."

"BABY SISTER!" Ed shouted as he tried to jump from the nest to the Fortress.

"WAIT ED!" Double d and Tetra Both yelled as they grabbed for Ed's tunic… and through fate their hands overlapped in one place as they caught him. Dragging him back into the nest their eyes met for just a moment. Putting up a tough front, she crossed her arms and turned back towards the fortress, dropping Ed on his face.

"Anyway, since you guy's are the only ones going in, instead of risking a fight, we'll try a different approach…." She gave them a look that couldn't mean anything good.

"Tetra, why're you looking at us lik-"

WHAM!

"Augh, my head," Double d thought as he re gained consciousness, "what happened?" he went to rub his aching head, but his hand was pressed tightly between himself and Ed. When he looked down he saw what bound them and Eddy together. A huge Barrel held the three snugly in place, while it rested on the catapult's launching pad. Eddy was the first to speak,

"HEY! WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA?" He seethed.

"It's the best idea we could come up with." Tetra defended herself.

"I object!" Double d protested, "This is Horrifyingly dangerous and unconventional!"

"Relax, we've done this hundreds of times, we'll launch you real good!" Senza declared.

"I believe you meant 'well', correct?"

"GET ME OUTTA HERE!"

"Prepare to launch!" she ordered Gonzo.

" 3"

"What a weasel!" Eddy cursed.

" 2"

"Oh dear…" Double d mumbled in terror.

"1"

"Let it begin!" Ed Begged.

The catapult launched the three screaming into the night sky.

"See ya around, Eddy!" Senza yelled while laughing at the rolling barrel. Tetra watched coolly.

"Good luck," she thought watching what could've easily been a jackass rip-off flying away at about twelve miles per hour.