.

Chapter seventeen

Letting Syaoron inside, Yuui closed the door and pressed his forehead on the wood of the frame; just taking deep breaths. He almost scratched the wood with his fingernails.

"Yuui..." He stared, not touching the blonde just in case he didn't want to be right now.

"...I'm not a bad person..." Yuui started. "Mother has always told me...do good and people will do good right back...life is too short...f-for holding hate and anger..." He closed his eyes. "That's all I remember of her...before..." He took a deep breath. "I'm not a bad person...I don't cause people pain or suffering...so why? Why?"

"Yuui...I don't really understand what happened, but you don't deserve to feel like this still over some bastard. I love you and no one else you dated before matters."

A few tears hit the floor as Yuui's body started to shake. "I stayed with him..." He confessed. "I saw the signs that he wasn't what he seems but I stayed with him...just a bit longer...because...because I hoped...I hoped that what I had heard from others wasn't true. It couldn't have been...I just wanted to believe that...and he didn't even deny one piece of scarp that he was. He was the devil and I stayed with him until...I couldn't tell what's good or bad for my heart anymore...I'm such an idiot..."

"You were in an abusive relationship, but your strong...you left you didn't go back to him." Syaoron reasoned.

"If I was really strong I should have left sooner, maybe then I wouldn't feel so..." Yuui then started crying. "That's why I don't want to lose you Syaoron...I was a doll to that man...I didn't want you to feel like you went out with a doll that can't do anything. I just couldn't bear...doing that to someone else..."

He began wiping away tears then. "I don't think that at all. You're great Yuui. You're good looking and successful and you have family and friends. You don't have to really worry about anything."

"Oh Syaoron..." Yuui cried out. "I'm sorry...for doubting your feelings for me from the start. I wanted to believe them from the beginning but I'm glad that I now know what you feel about me is true and not...played out like what he did...I'm so sorry..."

"This stuff takes time." He smiled, rubbing the blonde's arms.

Rubbing his eyes, Yuui took a deep breath. "He never even apologized to me for all the hateful things he has done to me...that was the worst part. Watanuki's right...I never had any closure with any of my exes. They got to move on but I'm stuck...just wallowing in their mess they made around me..."

"You don't have to." He offered, but knew it would be hard for the blodne.

"...I need help..." Yuui admitted. "I need help badly but I don't know who to turn anymore..."

"I can help...and I'm sure Fai would or anyone really. You have friends and family Yuui."

Yuui shook his head. "I never...exactly talk to anyone about this...whole thing..." Yuui pressed his back against the door. "And I try not to...dampen their days or add more problems to them. I'm not that kind of person."

"Then we're going to sit whenever you want and you're going to tell me everything." He said determind to help the other.

"...C-Can we start now for a bit...?" It came out of Yuui's mouth so quickly before he had a chance to stop it. "B-But it's not a big deal, like I said before...you don't have to..." He trailed off.

"Yes we can." Grabbing Yuui's hand he pulled the blonde into the living room and on the couch.

Sitting on the couch, Yuui gulped a bit. "Syaoron, really. It's fine..."

"No, say whatever you want."The brunette insisted; wanting the blonde to get it off his chest.

"..." Yuui then grabbed Syaoron and pulled him so that the brunette was over him. He felt a bit more comfortable already.

"Yuui?" He looked down at him confused.

"Sorry." Yuui started to smile. "I needed a bit of security if...I'm ever going to start..."

He shook his head. "It's alright, go ahead."

Taking a deep breath, Yuui sighed. "My first relationship was in junior high around the last year was this girl named Gina. She was what any girl was like, pretty, well-endowed, voice like the gods." He chuckled a bit. "Until we started going out and that's when I realized that she was only going out with me so she can be pretty with someone almost as such. She dumped me just a few months before graduation."

"Most pretty girls in junior high are terrible anyways." He said as he laid on the ouch with the other.

"High school was worse." Yuui chuckled. "I hooked up with my first boyfriend just a few months into freshman year with a guy named Kamui who was just transferring in and out. Never knew the reason why." He shrugged. "But it wasn't a bad first hook-up with a male, in fact I think it was because of him that I decided to stick mostly with males. We never kissed but we held hands and we appreciated our mutual liking for silence but I never saw him again after the Christmas break. Didn't even leave me a note."

"Maybe he didn't mean to?" Offered the brunette. "Anything could have happened."

"Maybe..." Yuui mused. "Right after new year's, I was with a guy named Ricky for a few months. Had my first kiss with him but he was a playboy and wouldn't stop calling me those dumb girly nicknames and not even the creative kind as he was dim-witted idiot." Yuui scoffed. "He tried to pop my cherry during summer break but I overheard his buddies right before hanging out with him that he was going to score with me and tell the whole school about it. Needless to say, I'm glad brother bought me that can of mace that night."

Syaoron reminded himself to get Fai a gift for that one. At the very least he didn't have to worry about Yuui not standing up for himself.

"In the fall of that year, I was with a nice young woman named Sayaka who taught me...h-how to make love with someone." Yuui blushed. "I admit, not my proudest moment at the time but she was very lonely and I was very upset and need some comfort. But I guess it was useless since I was the tail of the situation. But she helped me be the kind person I am today. Not sure where she is right now but I hope she's happy wherever and whoever she's with."

"I'm glad that not all of your relationships were bad." Grinning he moved to rest beside Yuui; an arm draped over him.

Slinging over softly, Yuui nodded a bit. "I guess not." He then frowned. "Senior year though was dismal. I was in a rough relationship with a possessive quarterback who apparently didn't know I wasn't a woman until he got so drunk and pulled up my shirt after winning the game before graduation. I got some bruises and scratches from that period but I gave him a hard kick to where the sun didn't shine at the end."

Syaoron snorted. "Good." He was glad to hear Yuui defending himself as the blonde didn't seem to want to nowadays.

"Then culinary school happened. So was a few more of my relationships." Yuui sighed sadly. "You've met Sakura and well...we never got far He made me laugh but we never felt that spark like we hoped

He nodded, thinking that the two might have dated before by how close they were,

"And well...a couple and girlfriends after that..." Yuui soon had some sadness in his eyes. "None of them stuck mostly because they were cooks like me but I was the sate chef at the time and apparently that's a no-no in a relationship." He closed his eyes.

He kissed Yuui's shoulder, rubbing his arm gently.

The blonde smiled a bit as he leaned into the warmth of the other. "Then I had Ioryogi on the side a few times. It was mostly physical since we both had needs. He never minded and I never minded but he just wasn't the one even though he was very kind about the whole thing." Yuui chuckled a bit. "He told me from the start that he wasn't much into guys but he said I was the exception. Felt nice for a bit."

"The blacksmith right?" He asked, trying to put faces to names.

"Yep, that one." Yuui nodded with a small smile.

Syaoron nodded in understanding smiling in return.

"And then when I started donating some pictures to the gallery and they somehow paid me for that, it was pretty much when...he came along." Yuui sadly stated.

"It's alright." He tried to be comforting. He was glad that for the most part Yuui hadn't had terrible relationships, or at least not all of them had been.

"He came by the building one day, he saw the pictures and asked who was the artist..." Yuui paused for a bit. "...A-and I spoke up...that was the start of it..."

He had thought it went something like that.

"We started talking, I laughed a couple times and he wanted to see more of me so I said sure; thinking nothing of it..." Yuui sighed. "Friendly outings turned into cafe mini-dates into actual dates..." He paused a little. "He was sponsoring the gallery at the time and as long as he and I would be together...there wouldn't be anymore problems for the building... and that's when it went downhill..."

He frowned, thinking the man had taken advantage of Yuui and now the blonde was an emotional wreck because of it.

"The nice sayings stopped." Yuui's voice went weak. "Then the cold looks, the possessiveness, the fake smiles, I was no longer in a happy relationship with him...I...was becoming a doll to him...and I was stupid not to see it before..."

"You wanted to be happy, it's understandable why you stayed."

"I was happy with him but...I found out that it was a farce too..." Yuui covered his eyes. "He played me, he broke me down until there was nothing left...and I let it happen...I'm so stupid..."

"You're not stupid. It was abusive on his part and you were a victim. It wasn't your fault and no one thinks it was." He argued.

"But I let it happen, Syaoron. I was smarter then that and yet I stayed..." Yuui shook his head. "I was so weak to go but I was too stubborn to do anything about it either."

"Relationships make you do sstupid things sometime and you did go eventually."

"...I did but...I had brother to help pick me back up. He...I called him one night and I was in front of the cafe...crying..." Yuui gulped. "He asked what happened but I didn't tell him. Eventually he knew some things. I wish...I wish I didn't fall for those lies..." His voice cracked a bit. "I felt so dirty from being with that man..."

"Bu you're not. You never were Yuui." He hugged him tightly.

"That's why I didn't want to hurt you, Syaoron." Yuui started crying as he hugged back. "I bet you never had to deal with this. I'm not a normal person after all..."

"I don't care. I want to be with you."

"W-What is it about me that you want to be with me for?" Yuui asked. "There had to be a reason..."

"You're kind and cute and a bit of a dork and I've already told you I love you." He smiled softly.

Opening his eyes, those tears fell from them. Yuui smiled a bit. "H-Hey...I'm not a dork. You are; talking about me with your brother. Though no one before had ever talked about me in such a nice way before..."

"I plan on changing that then." He countered, holding him close.

Yuui giggled a bit at being held so closely before. "You're so warm..."

"I guess so." Smiling he nuzzled the blonde, wanting him happy.

That made Yuui smile happily with a few giggles escaping his lips. "I never been cuddled like this before...it's so...wonderful..."

"Then we'll do more of this."

"No~! That's smothering me then!" Yuui laughed softly. "I'm a grown man for pete's sake~!"

"So? Everyone likes a hug." He countered, smile widening.

"I don't!" Yuui lied with a smile. "They just have those tentacle arms and capture me in their hold. Hugs are too much for me!"

"I don't see you struggling." He countered before he began tickling the blonde.

"N-No! Not that!" Yuui started laughing very loudly. "A-Anything but that-!" He squirmed; trying to get away from Syaoron.

They nearly rolled off the couch as Syaoron struggled to tickle the blonde, laughing as he did,

"Help! Someone! I'm being a-attacked!" Yuui continued to laugh as his body started hurting from the laughing and the tickling.

It was then the front door slammed open revealing Fai who looked a bit paniced, but when he saw them staring at him owlishly he sighed heavily. "I heard screaming..."

"..." Yuui who was then almost over Syaoron blinked. "Brother...good evening." He smiled happily. "Um...Syaoron was being a bad boy and all so it's fine."

"It's alright." He went back to shut the door before he returned.

Chuckling, Yuui gently bopped Syaoron on the head. "Now, you! Don't give my brother heart attacks! Meanie." He joked as he laughed a bit.

Syaoron laughed and held his head. "Sorry, I'll try not to make you yell so much." Sitting up he smiled at the other blonde. "I'm just going to grab food and then sleep. I have to get Kuro-grump."

"Want me to be there to help?" Yuui asked as he hugged Syaoron tightly in his arms.

"No, I've got it." He said before he smiled and left them alone to go and get food.

"Okay!" Yuui called back with a smile before going back to Syaoron. "It'd be weird seeing Kurogane almost everyday." He slightly joked.

"Why's that?" He asked settling down as Fai rummaged around in the kitchen.

"Don't know." Yuui shrugged. "For a long time brother and I would be together; just the two of us...I hope I don't become a third wheel before too long..."

"I doubt it and besides you have me you know." He shrugged and pulled the other in for a hug. When Fai came back he had a plate of leftovers and a couple of cupcakes.

Giggling a bit, Yuui leaned into the embrace. "That's true." He wondered though if they were really going to be long term. They can't last very long...right?

"You want a cupcake Yuui?" Fai said as he had his plate lifted up.

"Oh no, I'm still a bit full from dinner." Yuui chuckled. "But thank you anyway."

Fai couldn't help but stare; thinking the other was being cheerful tonight.

"So Syaoron." Yuui turned his attention back to the brunette. "I was wondering, do you have any hobbies that you enjoy doing when you have the time?" He smiled brightly.

"Uh...I played soccer when I was in highschool. I like watching games sometimes. I read...there's not a lot."

"Soccer?" Yuui asked with a faint blush. "Oh, I haven't played much sports in my younger days. But I do sometimes like to watch if I get the chance."

"I don't have a lot of hobbies." He smiled sheepishly as Fai watched them.

"That's okay." Yuui shrugged. "I myself, don't have a lot of them either but when I have the time, I try to relax by doing them." He smiled at Syaoron.

He nodded in understanding. "We should find something to do together."

"I agree." Yuui nodded as he leaned closer to Syaoron. "It'll be our thing then..."

"You two are like some kind of chich flick." Fai mused as he finished off his food and began working on a cupcake.

"Well too bad that we don't have a mute button for you." Yuui grinned cheekily as his brother before kissing Syaoron on the lips.

"Mean." He pouted.

Syaoron kissed back, not shy in front of Fai.

"Not." Yuui shortly answered before diving in for another kiss.

Fai sighed and shook his head before he enjoyed his cupcake, a little jealous that Yuui got to be so close with his boufriend.

Pulling back a bit, Yuui gave Syaoron a kiss on the forehead. He then nuzzled against the other with a gentle smile.

"Well I'm off to bed, try not to make too much noise." He waved before heading off to bed.

"Good night, brother." Yuui waved at his twin. As Fai left, he frowned a bit in worry.

Syaoron watched the other drop his dishes off into the kitchen before he went to his own room. "So what do you want to do now?"

"Ah, well." Yuui checked the time. "I don't know... since I cried spill my guts out and cuddled with you and we have another busy day ahead of us...I'm not sure."

"Maybe I should go? You need your sleep after all and I think we kept Fai up enough last night." He grinned.

Maybe it would have been better if Yuui never said anything but Syaoron was right. "I guess..." He mused sadly.

"I'll make it up to you tomorrow?" He asked grinning befor he got up to leave.

Smiling a bit, Yuui dramatically sighed. "I suppose it'll do." He joked. "I'll see you then."

"Don't look so bummed out. I'll see you tomorrow." He leaned down and kissed Yuui before he left.

"I know." Yuui giggled. "Night, Syaoron."

"Goodnight." He grinned before letting himself out.

Hearing the door close, Yuui can only sigh as he laid down on the couch. He was happy that he was with someone but couldn't help but feel bad for Fai with his situation. He just hoped things would be okay from now on.

TBC

.