Chapter 4: Stupid Me
((((( Renesmee's POV)))))
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in my story. They belong to Stephanie Meyer. I only obsess about them...
Summary: Jake's gone and Ness feels horrible for her actions.
To my readers: You are valuable to me, and I appreciate every moment you spend reading my stories.
From here on out, the chapters will be longer...the building to where I want to be is almost done...then comes hot, hot, hot...i hope you're ready! :D
Oh, I'm looking for a Beta...if anyone knows one, please let me know...
Well, school starts in four days. I woke up this morning, excited, but sad. Jake was the first thing I thought about when I opened my eyes. Other than working with me on my human movements, we have spent no time together. He even goes straight home after our practices without a word. It hurts to see him like that, but maybe he has taken my advice and began looking for his imprint.
I know that I have been a real bitch to him the last week, but it seems like the only way to separate from him. Mom and dad have noticed a change in us and constantly asks us questions about what's going on. I haven't said anything to them. Frankly, it's none of their business. And, I guess Jake hasn't said anything either, or they would have stopped asking by now.
"Renesmee, come down here." Mom called.
As I made my way down the stairs, I heard mom telling dad to lighten up. To mind his own business. That we would work it out. I paused.
"Renesmee, I know you're right there, come in the kitchen." Dad requested. When I walked in, they both had huge smiles on their faces, and two small packages in their hands.
"What is that?" I asked.
"Well, we thought that since you had not seen your grandfather in a while, and you are starting school, which will take all of your time, that maybe you wanted to go and see him for a couple of days." They said smiling at me.
"Well, that would be cool. Why two?"
"Jacob, of course. You wouldn't want him to go with you?"
I paused for a moment, trying to gather my thoughts. Really, I have never been to Forks without Jake, nor La Push. And, I know he would love to see his Dad and the Pack. But, this will not help with my mission. Spending alone time with him will only further confuse things for me. I took both tickets.
"I don't know. I'll think about it. When do I leave?"
"Tonight." My mouth fell open. "So, if you want him to go, you will need to decide immediately." Dad stated.
I just walked off. "Oh, thanks, Mom, Dad."
"Oh, Renesmee." Dad stopped me, pulling me into my room. "Your mother told me to stay out of this, but I have to tell you that you are being ridiculous. Jacob knows what he wants, and what he needs. Your actions are only hurting him and yourself. Just let it go. Please. He has been a very important part of this family, and alienating him will do nothing but run him off. Do you want that?"
"No, Dad, I don't. But you already know what the situation is for me, even though you keep asking, right?" He nodded his head. "Well, Dad, first, he is my friend. Then, he is a part of this family. Then, he still has an imprint out there that he has yet to meet. And, on top of all of that, I am in love with him. Do you suggest I pursue a relationship with him, and get my heart torn out further down the road?"
Dad's face cringed at my admittance of love for Jake. But he already knew, so what? "Renesmee. You need to talk to Jacob. He has a lot that he needs to tell you, if you want to hear it. But he will not have that conversation with you if he thinks you don't care for him, and you want him with another. Renesmee, do as I am telling you. You both will be happy you did." Dad turned and walked out the door.
What the Hell is that suppose to mean? A lot to tell me? He probably has already met her and has stayed away because of me. Even worse. I don't want to hear that either. I know that Dad has my best interests at heart, but he is wrong this time. I will continue on. Jacob will be happy.
I pulled my wireless phone out and called Jake. "Nessie!" He sounded so happy to hear from me. I hadn't called him all week. It warmed my heart to hear him still sound like that toward me.
"Jake, Mom and Dad bought us tickets to Forks. Wanna go? Tonight? We leave at nine."
"Well, yeah, who all is coming?"
"Just us."
"Ness, we need to talk. Can we before we leave?"
"Jake, just drop it, alright. Dad already spoke to me, and I have no interest in talking to you about that. Let's just live our lives and be happy. Can you do that?"
"Not without you, Renesmee. If you know, why wouldn't you want to talk to me about it?"
"Oh, I'm Renesmee, now? Look, Jacob. Do you want to go or not? I know your father wants to see you. What's your answer."
Jake paused for a long while. When he finally spoke, I could hear sadness in his voice. I mean, what does he expect me to do? I have already released him. We can still be friends if he wants. This is all getting way too complicated. "Nessie, I want to go...with you. Not separated. I love you. Don't do this. Please."
"Jake, I love you, too. I told you. Our friendship can stay in tact. Do you want that, too?"
"Of course, Nessie. I have to go." He hung up. If I didn't know better, it sounded like he was crying. And, when he told me he loved me, it sounded different from all the other times he's told me. I just sighed. Now, my mind is imagining that he loves me, too. The next few days can't go by fast enough.
Around five o'clock, I called Jake's wireless to see if he was ready to go to the airport. No answer. I called the home phone. No answer. So, I waited. I figured he was probably on his way to our cottage. I went downstairs and fixed myself a sandwich, then talked to mom and dad a while about school. Dad seemed to be coming around. He was happy with the progress I was making, so his earlier suspicions were all but gone.
"Renesmee, have you spoken to Jacob? It's time to go. You have to give yourself time to check in, just in case there are any hold ups." Dad asked.
"Yes, I called him, but there was no answer. I figured he was probably on his way here."
"Did you call both numbers?"
"Of course."
Dad jumped up, leaving out the door. Mom and I looked at each other and hurried behind him. "Dad, what's wrong?" He never answered. We just made our way to Jake's cottage on the edge of the property.
"I can't hear him anymore. Jake is always fluent in his thoughts. I never thought anything of it before. I thought that maybe he was just sleeping."
As we arrived as his cottage, we noticed that all of the lights were off, except one in the kitchen, and the front door was wide open. I rushed in, screaming Jake's name. No answer. When I made it to the kitchen, I was expecting to see him there, but all I saw was a note on the counter and his wireless phone on top of it. My heart dropped. I heard mom whisper Jake's name. Dad continued looking around the house.
I stepped toward the note, desperately not wanting to know what it read. I paused. Tears running down my face. I looked at mom. "Renesmee, open the letter. It has your name on it."
"No, Mom, I can't. I know he left me. I just know." I burst out into tears, falling to my knees. Mom came over to comfort me. Cooing in my ear that everything would be alright. Begging me to just open the note. "Mom, you open it. You read it. Please Mom, I can't."
Mom retrieved the note, then returned next to me on the floor. She sat beside me and opened the note. She read it out loud.
"Renesmee,
These past six years with you have been the best of my life. I have grown so much, and learned to love you in a way that I have no other. I promised you many years ago that I would always be here for you as long as you wanted me to be. I promised I wouldn't leave until you sent me off. Over the past couple of weeks, I have noticed a considerable change in our relationship. I hoped that it would get better, but it seems that my presence in your life only makes life worse for you. I never want you to be unhappy, especially if I can do something about it. So, I'm leaving. I am going back to my home in Forks, and I promise to not contact you or cause you any more pain.
After our conversation earlier this morning, when you told me that you already knew, but still did not want to talk about it with me, I realized that the imprint was never meant to force someone into loving another, only to bond them, and keep each other happy. If I am no longer doing that for you, I will no longer push the issue.
I just wanted you to know that I love you with all of my heart, and I am so sorry for any pain that I have caused you. I wish you all of the happiness in the world.
With all my love,
Jacob
P.S. I also promised you this morning that I would always be your friend. I desperately still want that, if you do, but I need a little time to readjust my feelings, and move forward. I hope you don't hate me for leaving. I just couldn't take telling you goodbye face to face.
Mom looked at me, confused. I knew by the look on her face that she blamed me for him leaving. It was my fault. What have I done?
I grabbed the note from Mom, and read it, then reread it. "He couldn't have really left me. Did he Mom? He couldn't have." Tears flowing down may face. Mom just looked at me, tears in her eyes, also. Every time I reread the note, I felt a little piece of me breaking apart. I deeper hole in my heart. "What have I done." I looked up in the doorway. I saw a movement. I jumped to me feet to go greet Jake, but to my disappointment, it was only Daddy.
"Renesmee, baby, come here." I ran to Daddy. He held me close against his cool chest, while I cried, successfully destroying his white shirt. "Baby, I followed his trail about ten miles out, but I lost him after that. He must have phased when he left here. But he was headed north. Not back to Forks." That realization only hit me harder. He is really gone. What have I done? How will I survive without him? He feels like I hate him. Like I don't want him around. I felt my whole world crumble beneath me. My knees gave out, then everything went black.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
((((( Bella's POV)))))
"Edward Cullen, I told you to mind your own business. Renesmee is more than capable of attending to her own affairs. Your decision to speak to her yesterday influenced her conversation with Jacob, turning him away from her. All of us. You made me a promise. You lied to me!"
"Bella, please, hear me out. My intention was only to let her know that she was thinking wrong. That Jacob did not feel for her the way she thought he did. I told you and Jacob weeks ago to have the talk with her. I hear her thoughts, and feel her pain. It was all in vein. If she knew the truth, you both could have saved her from thinking wrong."
"Are you saying this is my fault! It was not my place to tell her anything. She is Jacob's imprint, and Jacobs job to talk to her about that. Besides, he made the decision to not tell her. He wanted her to love him on her own. By her own will. I did not influence that in any way. I only listened to him."
"Bella, don't you see. She does love him. With all her heart. Its been obvious for weeks."
"What! You knew that, and never told me or Jacob. That information would have changed everything!"
"I thought you knew. How could you miss it? She dresses different, she looks at him differently, and the weirdness in the way they acted toward one another was no secret."
"Oh, Edward. We have to find him. This is wrong. Very wrong. I will never forgive you if she never finds love with him. Go find Alice. Have her help you find Jake."
"What about Renesmee?"
"What about her? I still maintain that it's Jake's place to tell her. Not mine. Plus, it will only make things worse for her. How do you think she will respond to knowing that he has always loved her? That she is his imprint?"
Edward paused. "You're right. Carliyle has a friend, A'Layna, in the south that is an excellent tracker. I will try to find her. I heard she can find anyone, quickly. All she needs are some of their items."
"Edward, find her. Bring Jacob back to Renesmee. Even if you have to break his legs to get him here. I mean it. Bring him back."
((((( Renesmee's POV)))))
As the sun shone on my face, and my body came to the realization that I was awake, I cringed as I remembered the events of last night.
Every thing that I did to help Jacob find his imprint has backfired on me. I only wanted to stop my selfishness, giving him to his destiny. I just knew in my heart that Jake would never leave me. Would that have been fair to him, or to me?
I curled deeper under my covers, replaying the note that mom read to me from Jake. Every time I thought about it, it sent warm shivers down my spine. It seemed like he was saying that he wanted to be with me, not his imprint. How could that be? I feel so confused, plus the pain that exists in my heart feels like something attached to me has been literally ripped away. I cried into my pillows, imagining is face, his smile, the love he always showed me. Maybe I was wrong. I never wanted him to leave, and I definitely did not want him to think I never loved him. He is all that I can think about. Everything I love.
Mom peeked in the door to see if I was awake. I didn't move, hoping she would just leave. "Renesmee, I know you're up. I heard the bed covers ruffling. Wanna talk?" I didn't answer, trying to conceal my sobs. "Alright, well, can I talk to you?"
"Fine, Mom. I know you just want to blame me for him leaving. For sending your best friend away. Go ahead, get it out." I said sarcastically.
"Renesmee! I will do no such thing. Pull your head out of those covers, right now." She said sternly. I pulled my head only from the covers, tears streaming down my face, pulling ragged breaths in.
"Yes, Mom?"
"Baby, your father left last night to find Jacob. He will bring him back to you. Everything will be OK, I promise."
"Mom, how can you make a promise to me like that. What if Dad can't find him? What if Jake doesn't want to come back?"
"Well, I told your father to break his legs if he refuses." She smiled. "Plus, Carliyle has a friend in the south that is a tracker and can find anyone. I sent Jasper with him to help keep Jake's mood under control once they do find him. Baby, you two need to talk. There are some things that happened many years ago that you don't understand, but Jacob has to be the one to explain them to you."
"Mom, Dad already told me something about that. When I refused to speak to Jake about it was when he left. I don't want to hear from him that he already knows his imprint, and has put her on hold because of me, or something crazy like that. I just couldn't take that. I can't. Mom I love him. Thinking about him with someone else pains me to no end, but I know that it's only fair to let him go. To be happy."
"Baby, is that what you think? Is that what you told Jake?"
"No, of course not. I never said that to him. I only told him I wanted him to be happy. To make himself available for her. To separate himself from me."
"Ohhh. He thinks you don't love him. Don't want him. The note kind of confused me when he talked about what you had said to him. Renesmee, I promise, everything will be just fine. In fact, perfect."
I interrupted her. "Mom, stop. You can't be sure."
"Alright, I'll lay off. But I can tell you this. Once you allow him to explain to you, your whole world will change, instantly."
"Mom, thanks, but can I be left alone. I can't do this right now."
"Alright, baby. Wanna hunt later? You haven't in weeks."
"No, not until Jake comes back. It will remind me too much of him."
"What about some eggs and bacon?"
"Fine, Mom." I just looked at her, silently begging her to just leave already.
As I lay there. I just got angrier and angrier. At myself for making him feel alienated, at him for leaving me, at my dad for coming to talk to me yesterday morning, and my mom for trying to give me false hope. I looked over at the calendar next to my bed. I have three days before school starts. Damn. I know I'm not going now. That is an experience that Jake and I was suppose to be sharing. I won't do it without him.
I never realized before this moment just how important Jake is in my life. Every experience I have ever had was somehow directly connected to him. Even the ones I planned to have in the future seemed equally as important to share with him. I know now that I can't just let him go. I love him too much. I need him. I will fight for us. I have to tell him how I feel, and let the cards fall where they may.
I heard a knock on the door. "Renesmee. Your father just called. He says he has met the tracker, and are on Jake's trail. The tracker says about six or seven days. He seems to be heading toward Canada."
I looked over at mom, and pulled the covers over my head, silently wishing she was right. It would be my biggest wish come true. To be able to wrap my arms around him again and tell him how much I love him. To actually hear that he loves me too.
The next three days went by in a blur. I never left my room other than to maintain my human side. I ate what ever mom cooked, and used the restroom. Unbelievably, after day two, I got up and took a bath, but that was it. We hadn't heard anything from Dad, Aunt Ali, or Uncle Jaz, and today is day three.
I feel myself getting nervous, my hands are clammy, my mind is racing, and I am beginning to doubt whether I will ever see my Jake again. While in thought, I began to feel warm tears rolling down my cheeks. The absolute feeling of hopelessness washed over me, pulling me under. In my mind, I saw my self in a hundred years, alone. Never falling in love. Always holding on to the hope that one day Jake would come back to me. I pulled my knees into my grip, allowing my heart to bleed for the loss of my love. The emptiness that followed brought my reality crashing down on me. I just laid there the whole day, knowing it was over. He was never coming back to me.
((((( Jacob's POV)))))
"Ness, we need to talk. Can we before we leave?"
"Jake, just drop it, alright. Dad already spoke to me, and I have no interest in talking to you about that. Let's just live our lives and be happy. Can you do that?"
Her words hit me with an intensity that could only compare to being hit by a vampire itself. I began to feel my world crashing down.
"Not without you, Renesmee. If you know, why wouldn't you want to talk to me about it?" I asked.
"Oh, I'm Renesmee, now? Look, Jacob. Do you want to go or not? I know your father wants to see you. What's your answer."
I paused for a long while, debating, fighting within myself to contain my emotions while speaking to her. She actually just said to me that Edward told her about our imprint, and she is not interested in talking to me about it, nor hearing about how I feel about her. I just can't imagine how we got here. Why all of a sudden she wants to be separated from me. All of the years that we've spent together, loving each other. It seems like in a day, everything has changed. I just love her so much, she makes my world make sense. "Nessie, I want to go...with you." I pleaded. "Not separated. I love you. Don't do this. Please." I begged. At this point, I can care less what I sound like to her. I'll be a love sick, begging, pitiful, poor excuse of a man without a backbone if I can get her to love me back. To let me explain. She has to know how much I love her and would do anything in the world for her.
"Jake, I love you, too. I told you. Our friendship can stay in tact. Do you want that, too?" She asked dryly.
"Of course, Nessie. I have to go." I hung up. By then, I was completely an emotional wreck. She may have heard me sobbing into the phone. I really couldn't care less. My heart feels like its been broken into a bunch of little pieces. How will I ever feel whole again? How do I go on from here?
She has been the center of my whole world for the last six years. All I've ever wanted was to make her happy. To love her unconditionally, forever.
The more I went over the conversation we just had, I felt my body tense up. Nothing seemed clear anymore. My future seemed to just disappear right before my eyes. I drug my body down the wall, sitting next to the phone, looking at it, trying to understand what happened to cause this dramatic change. Did she get mad when she found out that she was my imprint? Maybe she simply could never see herself with someone like me.
The realization of that sent my body into a feeling of nausea. I jumped up and ran to the toilet. I threw up everything I had on my stomach. When I finished, I felt even worse. "She doesn't love me." I whispered, feeling my heart literally breaking again. "How could I have loved two of them, and both be unable to return my love? I'm done." That's my luck. Fate has played a very cruel trick on me, and is laughing. Again. Again, I am left to myself.
I felt anger course through my veins. I jumped up and began pacing. "Fine, if she doesn't love me. If she refuses to hear me out. If she hates me, I won't stay here. I will not intentionally subject myself to any more pain. It's over. I'll go and rejoin my pack and live my life out as a protector. I know I'll never love another, but that's fine." I stood there with my eyes closed, considering what I was thinking about doing. Everything in me screamed no, no, no. Begging to not leave her. Needing to have some type of contact with her.
I walked around the cottage, looking at pictures of the two of us. We always looked so happy. Silly, goofy, beautiful. I stood there for what seemed like forever, considering the past weeks, silently asking the pictures what really happened.
"I have hurt her. My presence here for the past couple weeks have only made things worse for her. Maybe she's just growing up and wants to experience things on her own. Find love on her own. Live her life the way she chooses. Not like she was forced." Wow, I never considered that the imprint could actually turn against me. Huh, actually, I should have known. I'll never have someone to love me. Never experience the fullness of love.
I made my decision. I would leave.
Again, something broke within me. My body feels like an empty shell. Barren, void of any life that matters. She is everything to me. Without her, I'm nothing. Meaningless.
I got a piece of paper out, and began to write. I told her everything I felt, and apologized for making her unhappy. That never was my intention. Since the day she was born, all I wanted to do was love her. Keep her happy, and make a life for her that was full. I have sadly failed. Failed her in the worst way. Maybe my absence will fill the need she has in her life to be happy.
I grabbed the picture of us that we took just weeks ago, tied it around my ankle, placed my wireless phone on top of the note, and ran out the door. Tears of loss streaming down my face. Before I hit the concrete good, I phased and began running. Running in no direction. Just running. I had to get away from here before I changed my mind. I felt the bond that has held me here for years strain at the distance I was gaining. I had to go further.
Forks would never see me again, either. After all of these years of declaring my love for Nessie, hopeful that she would love me too, and having to go back there to face them, to have them pity me...I just wasn't having it. Its my life, my loss, my business. And I plan to keep it like that. I can live in the wild. Stay as an animal. No one will bother me. No one will question me. And best of all, I never have to fall in love again.
As I ran, the forest breezed by. I could smell deer in the air. While I was definitely hungry, the smell sickened me. I would probably not be eating for a while.
The air was cold. Must have been ten or fifteen degrees. I looked at the trees passing quickly by me, the sound of the lakes in front of me, then behind me. The animals quickly retreating away when they sense my presence approaching.
I guess this is how it will be for me. Alone, forever.
I ran for what seemed like days. I only ran and slept. Finally, after the second day, I ate. It didn't give me any satisfaction. While I finished the small animal, all I could think about was Nessie. How she looked when she hunted, the smile she gave me when she bagged to largest deer, how we would wrestle our prey for fun. I have to find some way to separate my memories from my life now. There is no room for that. If I keep it up, I'll just end up back there, begging her to reconsider. Losing any self respect I have left.
I approached a highway. Before I went forward, I smelled into the air, making sure that no one was around, and listening for oncoming traffic. When I finally stepped out, I saw a sign that said Yukon. Wow, have I really gone that far? I guess two days can bring you a good way, especially when you're running a full speed. I crossed the street, and began my path again. This time, I felt different from the run before. I thought again about begging her. Maybe that's what I should have done in the beginning. I should have just left my pride in the ditch somewhere, went to her, and begged her love. Begged her to consider me. Just the thought of doing that gave me butterflies in my stomach. Who cares what everyone will think. Who cares that Emmit will laugh at me for the next two years. It would all be worth it if she takes me back.
I stopped in my tracks. Am I really considering turning back around? Am I willing to try this? What if she blatantly refuses me again? Will I be able to take it without breaking down in front of her? Does she miss me? I paced back and forth, considering my questions. I finally decided to wait it out. I know that I am hurting too much for more rejection. It would break my spirit completely. Destroy me if she refused me. I found a spot deep in the woods, and slept.
I only dreamed of her. He was happy, in love, laughing, looking whole, complete. All without me. I woke up. A slow growl escaping through my teeth. Anger coursing through my blood...I can hate her. All of them. Return to who I really am. Who I was created to be. Forgetting who I am is what got me here anyway.
Maybe I could go back to Forks, explain to them that I have come to my senses, and regain my position in the pack. I turned around and ran back towards home. I could do this. If Edward or anyone ever came to get me, to demand I come back home, to their home, I would have my pack fight with me. I will never again return to live with those bloodsuckers. Ever.
Three days later, I arrived at the reservation. My father is overjoyed to see me, as I was him. The pack accepted my explanation, and I was back where I needed to be.
((((( Edward's POV)))))
We finally met up with A'Layna. She was a beautiful woman, but had the worst attitude I've ever seen on a woman. She reluctantly took Jacob's items and began in his direction. The days blurred together. I spoke to Bella a couple of times to give her updates and to check on Renesmee. There was no change with her. She had withdrawn into her own little bubble, only doing what she needed to do to survive.
In a way, I was happy for that. Everything would be better when we return.
The days past slowly. If seemed like we were going in circles. I don't know if we are on the wrong track, or if Jake is just roaming. We made it all the way to the Yukon, only to turn around and head back home. Yet, every time I call home, no one has heard from him. Two days later, we picked up on him around La Push. We instructed A'Layna to wait outside Forks for us, while we went in to speak to Jacob.
As we approached Billy's home, Billy rolled to the door, looking at us unhappily. "Jacob is not here." He stated. "And, he doesn't want to be found, so just leave. Go back to your family."
"Billy. I'm not leaving without speaking to Jacob."
"Edward, we have been more than gracious to you and your family on our land. If my son and your daughter no longer have a future, then all truces are off. The pack is on their way here now. I suggest you leave immediately."
"But, Billy, listen to me. This is all..." Was all I could say. I was thrown in the air with a force that set my instincts into motion. I took a defensive stance, along with Alice and Jasper. "Sam..."
"Now, Edward, you have been warned. Do you want to fight, or will you leave in peace?"
"Not until I speak to Jacob." I snarled. The pack looked back toward the street. Jacob had phased. He walked out as the wolf. His teeth were pulled back. A steady growl escaped his lips between his razor sharp teeth. He began taking steps toward me. "Jacob, listen to me. She was wrong. She loves you. It's all just..." Jacob quickened his pace toward me, causing Jasper to jump in front of me, then rolling down the hill with Jacob. The pack, myself and Alice left to face off. Alice and I ran down the hill toward Jasper and Jacob, still fighting. Finally, they separated to gain footing. We grabbed Jasper, and hit the woods.
"Edward, it's not use. They will kill us if we stay. We have to go." Alice said.
"That bastard. I should go back and kill him. We were family!" Jasper spitted.
"Alright, everyone. Calm down. Lets get outside Forks, grab A'Layna, and gain some distance between us and them, then we'll get a plan." I said.
"No, I will not go back there. Edward, you will not be able to get me off him next time. And, I don't want to go back to Nessie and tell her that I killed the man she loves. I'm sorry. I won't do that." Jasper was furious. His mind clouded with anger. Revenge.
Alice walked over to him, rubbing his back, pulling him closer to her. "Calm down. Jacob is still family, whether he wants to be or not. We just need to let time happen. He will come around."
"But what will we tell Renesmee? Bella?" I asked.
"Edward, the truth. That's all we have. The truth. He has turned against us. The pack was willing to kill us to protect Jacob."
I grabbed my head on both sides with my hands. "Bella will never forgive me for this. She told me. What am I going to do?" My mind went through a hundred different scenarios, but without me being able to civilly speak to Jacob, none of them would work.
We quickly made our way through the woods, meeting A'Layna. "A'Layna, thank you for all you have done for us, but we see now that it was all in vein. He refuses to speak with us, let alone come back with us. Let's go home."
We said our goodbyes, and headed back to Victoria, while A'Layna headed back to the South.
We arrived home in hours. I walked in the door to find the house empty. When I went to the kitchen, Bella and Renesmee had left a note...
Edward,
Renesmee was feeling better, so we went to the mall to get her some clothes and other items for school on Monday. Call us to let us know you two are home.
Bella
I took an unnecessary deep breath, then I quickly tried to figure out just how I would tell my wife and daughter that I failed them. Inside, I felt afraid. Afraid that Bella would not forgive me, and sad that I have let my Renesmee down in the worst way. I can't help but to think that maybe if I hadn't spoken to her that morning, that she would have been open to hear Jacob out. What am I going to do.
As I was trying to figure out just how to approach this whole thing, the front door flung open. Renesmee was first, then Bella. She had the biggest smile on her face when she looked at me. "Dad! You're back!" She ran to me, giving me a large hug. I just smiled at her. "Where's Jake?" She began looking around for him. "Jake!"
"Renesmee, sit down. I have to tell you something." Her smile fell off immediately. Tears immediately rolling down.
"He refused, didn't he. He hates me now." She put her head down.
"Edward, what happened! I told you to break his arms if you had to. Why did you come back without him?" Bella was practically screaming at me. It did something unimaginable to me. To date, we have never had any type of a disagreement, let alone her screaming at me.
"Dad...what happened?" Renesmee asked through sobs.
"Well, when we finally found him, he had turned around, and had made it to La Push. He had rejoined his original pack, and instructed them to no longer welcome any of us on their land anymore, and to fight us if necessary."
"What! Oh my god!" Bella screamed, grabbing her mouth. Renesmee just threw her head into her hands, sobbing louder.
"Yes. Then, Jacob attacked me when I was trying to explain to him what really happened, but Jasper jumped in front of me, and rolled down a hill with Jacob, fighting. It was just horrible. Alice and I were left to fight the pack, so we ran to grab Jasper, and left. We talked about ways to re-approach him, but there was no way to do it without possibly having to fight him to the death. We had no choice. Baby..." I placed my hand on Renesmee's back. "I'm so sorry. I failed you."
She shrugged my hand off her back, and stood up. "It's OK, Dad. If it's not meant to be, it's just not. I don't expect you to risk your life for me, neither do I expect you to do that ever again. You did your best. Just let it go, alright?"
"But..."
"Dad, Mom, please. All I can do now is try to move forward. I can't do anything else. I just have to live with my stupid mistakes." She took a deep, staggered breath, then turned to go upstairs to her room.
"Renesmee, wait..." Bella said. "What if you and I go there. They would never hurt either of us. We could get through to him."
"No! Absolutely not, Bella. Under no circumstances will I allow you and my daughter to go in harms way. You were not there. You did not see the look in their eyes. It was like it was many years ago when we were enemies. Everything has changed. Please believe me."
Bella fell to the floor, sobbing in her hands. She removed her shield to allow me to hear her thoughts. "Edward, we have to do something. Anything. We are a family, and family sticks together. We can't allow this. Please, do something."
I knelt down next to her, placing my arms around her. "Bella, my thoughts are hopeful. From what I know about the imprint, he won't be able to stay away from her for too long. Eventually, he will surface, then be willing to listen. He's hurt right now, and needs some time to cool off and think things over."
"But, what if you're wrong. What if he never comes back?"
"I'm not a betting man, but I would bet my fortune that I am right. Just give him some time."
"I'm going to check on our daughter. I'll be back."
"Bella, before you go...are you angry with me? Will you ever forgive me?"
"Yes, for both questions. But, I know you tried, and that matters even more to me. I know you love him too, like a son, and you don't want to see him away from us, either."
"Thank you, Bella. I love you."
"And I you, my love."
She walked toward the stairs to check on Renesmee.
A/N: Alright, let's review. Let me know what you think. Even if its a one word response...yes...no...come on folks, give me something...
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