Chapter 6: My First Day of School
((((( Renesmee's POV)))))
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in my story. They belong to Stephanie Meyer. Neither do I own the poetry written in this chapter. The authors are listed as unknown. I also don't own any song or lyrics that are sung or played in this chapter.
A/N: Hello again...I'm feeling generous this weekend. The character chapters are winding down, and I'm excited about the loving, sexual nature of Miss Renesmee. Trust me...you will love it.
To my readers/reviewers: Thank you for your reviews and PMs. Any time that you spend reading my thoughts and taking out time to let me know what you think is always appreciated.
My favorite stories: I've been reading a couple of great stories by really great writers, and in my next chapter posted, I will give a shout out to them. I'm unprepared to do that right now, so be on the look out. Wait...I remember one of them. This writer appears to be some type of literary major and has a vast use of the English language. I'm ashamed to say that I opened up the merriam-webster site online to understand what in the world those words meant...lol...it definite kept me on my toes, and horny as hell throughout. It's a story of a sexually addicted Edward, and a sexually abused/sexually 'unable' Bella, meeting, trying to fix each other. It's written by Julesnerd, and the name is "Failure To Thrive." Trust me...you'll love it. It isn't finish, but she has twenty plus chapters posted already.
Damn, she is really making me do this. Don't they understand that I need to feel this pain. I need to remember him. It reminds me that he was real. That all these years meant something. I don't want to ignore my feelings for him anymore. I want to shout it from a roof top. I don't care anymore. I just want my Jake back.
Aunt Ali and I arrived at Victoria High at... "Wait...how are we on time? The clock at Jakes said we were an hour and a half late." Aunt Ali just looked at me with her eyes batting at me, smiling partially. I knew then what they had done. They tricked me. All of my efforts this morning were in vein. Their deception infuriated me. "Aunt Ali. I don't appreciate being made a fool of. It's not funny."
"Nessie, we never meant to make a fool of you. We only wanted to allow you enough time to get prepared without us or you getting frustrated while having to rush. I'm sorry. You forgive me?" She looked over at me smiling innocently.
"I guess Aunt Ali. Thanks for doing this with me. I definitely wouldn't have come alone." I looked over at her, giving her a smile of appreciation.
"No problem, honey. I'm glad I can help. You know you're my favorite niece, right?"
"I'm your only niece." We both giggled at that thought. "Aunt Ali, honestly, do you think I have a chance at happiness with Jake? Do you think he'll ever forgive me?"
"Absolutely, a hundred percent. Nessie, stop worrying. You have my word as your Aunt and someone that truly adores you and Jacob. He will be back, and these problems that seem so large will dwindle and disappear as soon as you two see each other. Now, today, lets focus on getting through or classes. Wanna have a competition?"
I giggled. "Competition?"
"Yes. Let's see who can meet the most friends. Edward and I usually count how many people look at us strangely. The winner is usually the one who got the most strange looks. But today, let's see who can speak to the most people. It only counts if they smile and speak back. Wanna do it?"
"Sure. I already know you'll win, but OK."
When we pulled up in a parking spot. All eyes were on us. Well, not us, but this truck. I looked around to assess the types of vehicles that were parked around the lot. My heart began to speed up. I looked at Aunt Ali. "Nessie, don't worry about that. We have plenty of money. And, we will not apologize or feel bad for what we have. These things are only trinkets anyway. Something to pass time with. Now, put your head up and walk out of here with confidence and a smile. And, remember what you have learned. You speak, walk, run, move as a human. Alright?"
"Alright Aunt Ali."
We both stepped out of the truck together, catching the eye of every student in the parking lot. If this wasn't awkward, I don't know what is. As we met up behind the truck, we turned toward the school and began walking toward the entrance. Behind me, I head a voice calling my name.
"Renesmee! Wait!" I turned around, wondering who could possibly know my name. It was Brody Gamble. The boy I met on the boardwalk with Jacob. He greeted me with a huge, warm smile, and arms stretched wide open to pull me in his embrace.
"Hello, Brody. It's good to see you again. I forgot about our deal to meet out here. How are you?"
"I'm fine." He said, seeming a little out of breath. "It's good to see you again. Where's Jacob?"
"He decided to home school, so I brought my...sister... with me instead. This is Alice Cullen. Alice, this is Brody Gamble. We met a couple of weeks ago on the boardwalk."
Alice looked at me with her brows furrowed down. "Nice to meet you Brody Gamble. I'm glad to know at least one person here. Is everyone nice here?"
"Well, not everyone, but stick with me, and you'll be fine. They'll mind their manners. I'll make sure of it." He smiled down at me, catching my gaze, almost making me blush.
It was hard to not look at him. He was so tall. His skin was tanned and smooth. His eyes were so deep and colored, that they seemed to hold mysteries, and his chiseled abs through his fitted t-shirt left nothing to be imagined. He was truly easy on the eyes. Second only to Jake.
Aunt Ali put her hand on my lower back, pulling me from my reverie. She looked at me, silently asking what I was thinking about. I just looked at her and shrugged my shoulders. "Brody, can you show us where the office is so we can get our schedules?"
"Sure, come on." As we walked, he showed us the different buildings where classes were held. He also named each one, letting us know which subject was in each. As we went on, we met two of the people that were on the boardwalk.
"Hello, Legend." I greeted her.
"Hello, Renesmee. It's good to see you again. Are you excited?"
"Yes, I guess. Look, I want to introduce my sister, Alice Cullen. We're in the same grade. She'll probably share classes with one of us at some point."
"Hello, Alice. Nice to meet you." Alice smiled.
"Hello, Legend."
"You two will love it here. Plus, you already have friends. You're one ahead of most newcomers already." She smiled at me and Aunt Ali. She seemed fairly shy, but very welcoming. Her demeanor was sincere, and she genuinely seemed pleased to consider us as friends. I felt comfortable with her, safe. Somehow, I immediately knew that we would be the best of friends.
"Alright, alright, Legend, go to class. Come on Renesmee, Alice." Brody quickened his pace to the office. "We don't want to all be late for class on the first day." He chuckled, turning the corner to the office. "Mrs. Brandon, this is Renesmee and Alice Cullen. They need their schedules, please." He smiled at her while making his request. She seemed paused for a moment as she listened to him and diligently watched his smile. Suddenly, she snapped out of it, grabbed our schedules, and handed it to him, while never breaking eye contact with him."
"Here ya go, Mr. Gamble. Take good care of these lovely young ladies." She smiled at us, then him.
He turned, grabbed me by my hand and rushed out the door. I grabbed Alice's hand while giggling the whole way out. He stopped when we turned the corner, studying the three schedules. "Renesmee..."
"Will you just call me Nessie? Friends call me Nessie."
"Alright, Nessie, you have two classes with me, one with Alice, and two with my sister, Legend. You'll like her. She never changes. What you see is what you get with her." He looked at Alice.
"Alice, come on, I'll walk you to your first class, then Nessie and I will go to ours." As we walked, he showed her her next class that we all shared, Biology. It looked like all four of us was in that class together. I'm sure it'll be interesting.
We arrived at Alice's class. She gave us a big smile, then hugged me. "Have fun Nessie. Love you." She disappeared in her Math class as we rushed down the hall and out a door to the next building. When we arrived in class, everyone paused and looked at Brody and me. He placed his arms behind my shoulders and guided me forward toward the teacher's desk. Our teacher, Mrs. Sams, looked at the two of us. She seemed annoyed, but quickly covered it with a smile and a request for our schedules. She checked us off and told us to choose the seats we preferred. The front seats were available, but I refused them. I wanted to be more in the middle to be able to see around me. Brody chose the seat directly next to me.
I noticed in my peripheral view, a cute, brunette girl passed him a note. He never acknowledged her presence, nor her note. He only swept it to the floor, never moving his eyes off me. He made me a little uncomfortable, but I knew from Aunt Ali, that everything about me would attract these boys. I just need to quickly set some boundaries. I knew immediately that Social Studies would definitely be very...interesting.
When class was over, the cute brunette girl grabbed Brody by the arm, stopping him from exiting the classroom with me. I was a little put off because I was depending on him to lead me to class. Oh, well. I continued on. I looked down at my schedule, and remembered where he showed Aunt Ali where her, our next class was. Behind me, I heard voices being raised, then a door slammed. I paused and looked back, trying to see what had just happened. I saw the brunette give me the evil eye, then storm off in the other direction. Brody had the most annoyed, maybe even angry, look on his face. He noticed me looking at him. I quickly looked away then turned around and headed for Biology.
"Nessie, wait." He jogged to me. "Sorry you had to see her acting like that with you. We dated over the summer, and already she assumes I've left her because of you." He shook his head. "Let's go to class."
"Brody, you didn't do that...did you?"
He looked at me, smiling shyly. "No, Nessie, of course not." He chuckled. "We've been over since that day on the boardwalk. She's way too jealous and controlling. She makes me feel like I can't do anything right."
"Oh, because I have a boyfriend. I just wanted to make that known."
"I know...Jake, right?"
"Yes." The walk to class was quiet, strained, awkward. I know I should have approached it with more discretion, but why beat around the bush? He needed to know.
We passed some of his friends, and stopped to talk to them. He introduced me, and told them to welcome me and my sister to the lunch table if he is late arriving. Everyone seemed nice, but the way they all looked at me gave me the creeps. I couldn't place it, but I knew to watch myself with his friends.
As we continued our stroll to class, he looked down at me and smiled. "Nessie, I have to come clean with you before I destroy our friendship." I looked up at him, furrowing my brow, pausing to hear what he had to say to me. "Nessie, the day I met you on the boardwalk, I saw something in you that I liked. At the time, Savanna was my girlfriend. When I found out that you were coming here, I broke it off with her immediately. That day, she was within the group, and she saw my reaction to you, and heard the conversation. I did break up with her to try to pursue you, and she knows. I'm so sorry. I didn't know that you and Jacob were an item. I would never intentionally try to come between the two of you. Do you forgive me for this mess? I'll make sure she keeps her distance from you." He half smiled at me.
I took a deep breath. "Wow...really, its not your fault. That day, Jacob didn't even know I loved him. We were just friends then. A lot has changed since that day." My eyes began to water. I looked down, trying to hide my obvious pain. I knew that if Jacob didn't recognize my love for him, then Brody definitely would not have. I sighed again, wiped my eyes and looked back up at Brody. "So, there is nothing to apologize for. Just don't ignore her like you did this morning. It hurt her, and it's rude. Alright?" He smiled and shook his head. "Still friends?"
"Absolutely." He leaned over and hugged me. "I know you don't know me, but I won't ever betray your trust in me. That's why I came clean. Next time, I'll ask you if I want to know something." He smiled at me. He seemed so genuine and trustworthy. If he only knew the real status of my relationship with Jake, he would probably go forward with his plan. But right now, I can't have that. I would only hurt him. When Jake comes back, I'd never stay with Brody.
"Alright, Alright...enough of the corny. Lets get to class." He grabbed my hand and ran through the halls to Biology. He bumped into people, stepped on feet and knocked two people's books out of their hands on his way to class. I knew it wasn't right what we were doing, but I liked it. I liked the carefree attitude and confidence he displays. I giggled all the way to class. Maybe we will be great friends after all.
When we got to class, it wasn't full yet, so we were able to secure just about any seat we wanted. Aunt Ali hadn't arrived yet, so we saved her a seat in front of me, along with Legend next to her. Of course, Brody sat next to me.
We got our notebook and pen out, preparing for the bell to ring. Brody leaned over. "You know that you have to partner up in Biology to complete some assignment. Would you be uncomfortable pairing up with me away from school sometimes? If not, my sister or Alice could sit with you." I thought for a moment on what he asked. I looked over at him. His face was awaiting my answer, but dreading it at the same time.
"That's fine. I think we'll be great friends. Jake will like you. It'll be alright." He furrowed his brow then returned his beautiful smile.
"That's great Nessie. It's something about you that makes me want to be around you. Even just as friends. Maybe I'll start talking back to Savanna. It was rude and premature how I treated her. Maybe we could all be friends."
Right before the bell rang, Aunt Ali walked in with Legend. They were talking and laughing, seeming to have kicked off a great relationship. Besides, who wouldn't love Aunt Ali. She is absolutely contagious.
The class began as the other did. Our teacher, Mr. Billy, introduced himself, and did a quick run through of what we should be expecting from him and the class. Then, he made us all stand up and introduce ourselves to five people, hug, and exchange phone numbers. Well, cell phone numbers. He said he didn't want anyone giving our home numbers to anyone. It wasn't safe if you didn't know the person. We did as he asked. Of course, I met Brody, Legend, and three others that were Brody's friends. Denali, Leslie – who was a boy, and Brittan.All three were they boys from the hallway earlier. When they hugged me, it made me want to go take two more showers. Yuck! Aunt Ali looked over at me when they introduced themselves to her. She must have felt the same thing I did. I wrinkled my nose at her. She gave me a "watch yourself" look.
When class was over, Alice went the opposite direction to her next class, and Brittan came up to me. Brody was talking to Savannah outside the classroom, so I continued on with Brittan. "So, Renesmee..."
"Nessie, please."
"Nessie, are you liking it here so far?"
"Yes, everyone seems to be very nice, so far." Well, almost everyone. Brittan and his crew seemed creepy to me. But, anyway. "I hope every one is." I smiled at him. Soon after, Aunt Ali caught up with me.
"Nessie, I went the wrong way. French is this way. Some mean individual pointed me in the wrong direction. That is so not funny." She said a bit too annoyed.
"Ah, Aunt...I mean Alice. Don't be like that. They were just having fun with you. Lighten up." I looked at her, silently apologizing for calling her Aunt.
"Alice, can I see your schedule?" Brittan asked.
"Alice, you have class with me. It's right here. Renes...I mean Nessie..." He smiled. "Your schedule?" I handed it to him. "You have French next door. I'll see you after class, bye."
When I took another step, Brody was in front of me, smiling. "Where are you going? We have class together."
"No, we only had two classes together. Well, I was wrong. My mother wanted me in French this year, since next year is my senior year. I've been putting it off for the last two years. So, here I am. She called this morning to have me put in. Let's go. He grabbed my hand and pulled me into class.
Needless to say, he sat next to me, again. He seemed so happy to be in here. Girls and guys were coming over, speaking to him, but he barely acknowledged their presence. He spoke, but didn't instigate any further conversation. His total attention was on me only. I mean it's endearing and all, but get over it. We will never be.
"Brody..." I smiled at him. "Remember we had this conversation. Don't be so rude to your friends. They will only end up hating me and making my life here hard. Please, stop what you're doing."
He looked down at his notebook and pen, remaining silent. The tardy bell rang. Our teacher Mrs. Finch began her speech that the other two had in my previous classes. Brody finally looked up at me, opened his notebook and wrote:
Renesmee,
Please forgive me. I am so drawn to you that everything fades away when we're talking. I'll work on it. I promise. Please don't stop being my friend.
Brody
I read the note and looked over at him. He had the cutest look on his face. It made me want to touch it. But instead, I wrote:
Alright, but if you don't fix this, I will be forced to thrash you. :D
Brody chuckled out loud, forgetting we were in class. The teacher looked our way, but I had already looked down at my notebook, copying from the board her name and phone number. She informed us that she would eventually be speaking only in French as the months pass, so it was in our best interest to study and practice everything she gives us, otherwise we won't be able to keep up. Little did she know, my father taught me French, fluently when I was two years old. When she began speaking to us in French, then translating in English, I smiled. I knew then that my French far surpassed anything she thought she knew, but we'll see. I'm sure Daddy will be interested to hear this.
Brody looked over at me while I was smiling. He wrote:
What's so funny?
I wrote:
Well, I know French fluently. Spoken and written. Her version of the French language is interesting.
He smiled.
Well, I know who I'll be cheating off.
We both giggled quietly.
My next class, Math, was finally not with Brody, but with Alice. We sat all the way in the back. Last row.
"Nessie, what's the deal with Brody? He likes you?"
"You can tell, huh? I told him I'm already spoken for. He says he understands, but his actions say something totally different. Plus, he had a girlfriend. He broke up with her when he met me at the Boardwalk with Jacob. She was really mean to me this morning. I didn't even know what was going on." I whispered.
Alice's mouth dropped open. "Nessie! What did you say to him when you met him?"
"Nothing. I was with Jake. Brody just told us that we would be going to school together, and he would show us to our classes, like he did."
"Wow..." She giggled. "The new dramas of high school. You are just like your mother. She brought drama with her immediately. Her first day, also." We both giggled at that. I had heard this story a hundred times. I just never imagined I would do the same thing. "What about his other friends? They creep me out. It's something about them that makes me uneasy. But for some reason, I don't get that from Brody. We both have to watch out for his friends until I figure out what the deal is with them."
"Can't you see forward with them?"
"Well, when I try, I see their faces, but it gets all jumbled up, so I don't know what it means. We'll find out soon enough though. Maybe I can try with Edward. Maybe he can see something I can't. And Nessie...I'm serious. Don't be alone with any of them. They may try something and make you have to reveal who you really are. Remember...always stay safe."
"I will Aunt Ali. Thanks."
Math went by easily. Lunch was next. I was glad I had someone in class with me that I knew before lunch. Somehow, I knew that lunch would be sectioned off, and I didn't want to get embarrassed by sitting at the wrong table by myself.
Right before we reached the lunch room, Brody called Alice and my name, running to catch up with us. "Hi, girls. Ready to eat?"
We both smiled, knowing we didn't want anything they would be serving at this place. But we still grabbed a tray and pilled it with a few things to show face. I actually grabbed me an apple and a dry roast beef sandwich. When I was picking up meaningless food, I remembered that I hadn't hunted in over a week, so it was important to stay filled. Plus, the eyes that Aunt Ali gave me helped get my mind right. I just smiled at her.
"Nessie, Alice, come sit over here." Damn, his creepy friends again.
"Hello everyone, again." Everyone spoke to me and Aunt Ali. They went on with meaningless chatter most of lunch. Aunt Ali and I just politely smiled, and answered questions when asked to us. Their conversation held no interest to us, until they began talking about dirt bikes. They had a professional course that Brody's dad had made some years ago for recreation, and he made money charging people to ride bikes on his land. They said it was about forty acres full of trails.
Brody looked up at me, noticing my peaked interest in his conversation. Aunt Ali kicked my leg. I looked over at her. "Aunt Ali, wouldn't you like to go ride our bikes sometime?" She frowned deeply at me.
"No, Nessie, I wouldn't. Dad doesn't like us riding those things. You never show restraint. I'm not getting in trouble for you." I knew what she meant. Daddy would never let me go. Not even with her. He hates me riding. Huh, I'll ride, one way or another.
"Restraint?" Brody asked. "What does she mean restraint, Nessie?"
I smiled shyly. "I am a really good on the bikes, but I love speed and tricks. It gives me a rush. Jake and I ride now and then, but my daddy hates me on them. He caught me one time racing Jake. I haven't rode since." I said sadly.
He leaned over and whispered I my ear. "Well, maybe we'll have to do something about that."
"I heard that, you jerk! Don't go getting my sister hurt. Stay away from her and any bikes!" Alice demanded.
Brody threw his hands in the air. "Alright, alright, sorry. Man. No bikes."
I looked over at Aunt Ali. She was definitely pissed at him for purposely trying to convince me to defy my father. What she didn't know was that I've been riding the bikes. Every chance Jake and I got.
I turned my head toward Brody. It was something about him that made me want to be bad. To break all the rules. To live free. I knew in my heart that this was bad, but my head wanted more. I actually imagined the both of us sky diving or riding a bull. I giggled to myself. I'm so glad that daddy doesn't come to school here. But, Aunt Ali is here, so I'll have to watch my decisions. After the conversation today, I'm sure she'll be watching me very closely from here on out. I sighed at the thought.
When lunch was over, Aunt Ali left immediately got up to leave. Brody showed her the building she had her next class in, and it was a ways away, so she left early to make sure she made it in time. Oh, I forgot to tell you. Brittan has that class with her too. I think he likes her. The way he runs up behind her is endearing, but still creepy. She, of course, pays him no attention other than answer an occasional question he may ask. It's actually funny to see. Little does he know that no man will ever turn Aunt Ali's eyes away from Uncle J.
My last two classes were with Legend. She was every bit as genuine as I imagined her to be from the beginning. She was honest, sweet and never had a bad word to say about anyone. The girls didn't seem to like her much, but she didn't care. She was smart, very beautiful, and had a small, petite frame, but her body was sculpted, perfect. I imagine either the girls are jealous or just jealous. Yep, jealous has to be the reason. Legend's attitude couldn't be the problem.
On our way to our last class, we met up with Brody. He smiled at us both when he approached us, then walked with us to our last class. Savanna passed us right outside the class. I swear, if she had knives in her eyes, she cut me a hundred times. I looked at Brody, then Legend. "Dammit Brody, look at the way she looked at me. I really don't want any problems. You promised me that you'd fix that. We all can be friends." Savanna must have heard me and turned around, approaching the three of us.
"Miss Cullen, is it?"
"Yes." I furrowed my brow.
"Well, I just wanted to tell you that Brody is mine. Regardless to what he tells you or what he promises you, he will always come back to me. And, no. I don't want to be your friend. You have already caused enough problems between us to welcome you openly in my life. So why don't you go back and crawl back under the rock you came from." She threw her hair over her shoulder, turned and walked off.
My blood was boiling. I imagined myself yanking every inch of hair straight out of her head. I began breathing hard, and my fists were clinched. Legend looked over to me and placed her hand on my shoulder. Immediately, I felt relaxed. I almost couldn't remember why I was so mad to begin with. I know better than to let these humans get to me like that. I have to maintain control. It's not personal. It's not personal.
I looked back to Brody who was already pleading with me with his eyes. "Brody, please. Don't walk me to any more classes that we don't have together. I just want peace. This is my first day, and already I have people hating me." He looked so sad, but what else could I do. "Plus, Brody, I don't want all of this extra attention on me. I don't like it."
He put his head down. "Alright, Nessie. I'll see you later." He walked off with his head down.
Legend grabbed my hand and quickly led me into the classroom. It was good she did because as soon as we entered the classroom, the bell rang. Our teacher wasn't in the room yet, so everyone chatted until she arrived.
"Nessie, can I tell you something without you getting mad at me?"
"Yes, Legend, anything."
"Well...um..."
"Go ahead, I won't get mad."
"Well...as you already know, Brody is my brother. I love him dearly, and would do anything for him, but..." She looked down at her hands. "But, he is no good for you. You seem to be a nice girl, and I want you to stay that way. My brother and his friends are jerks to women, and I don't want you to get hurt. Especially if it means that you and I won't be friends. So, please, keep your distance from him, and look past the shy sweetness that he shows you. That is not him. He wants something from you. I just don't know what it is yet."
My mouth fell open. I was shocked at her words about her brother. My impression was totally different from her assessment of him, but I trust her opinion. After all, she lives with him...I think.
"Alright, I'll watch out for him. I already got that exact impression of his friends, but not him. That's surprising."
"Nessie. He's worse than the rest. He's their 'leader', if you would call him that. Trust me. Keep all of them at arms length."
After that, our teacher came in and began class. We never spoke again that period.
When class was over, Aunt Ali met me to go to the truck. What we saw as we approached it sent cold ice through my veins. I heard laughter from a distance and looked up. It was Savanna and her followers. I stopped in my tracks. Aunt Ali must have seen what I planned to do to Savanna. She grabbed my wrists into a vice grip. "Renesmee Cullen, you know better. You can not put your hands on that human. You would kill her. Is that what you want?"
"Yes. Yes, I definitely do. Let me go Aunt Ali!"
"Nessie, please. Let's just go home. Please."
When I looked again into the distance, I saw Legend running toward me. "Nessie! Don't!" She closed the distance between us and placed her hand on my shoulder. Wow! Again, my anger dissipated so quickly that I almost forgot exactly why I was so mad in the beginning. I looked at Legend, questioning how she did that to me.
Before I could say anything, Aunt Ali pulled me by the wrist toward the car. The closer we got, the more I realized how much my daddy would be angry at his car looking like that. They toilet papered the whole car, and wrote: "You're not welcome here!" on every window.
"Aunt Ali, can this be cleaned before daddy sees what they did?"
"We're already on it, Nessie. First stop, car wash. Nessie, are you alright? You almost lost it back there."
"Yes, I'm fine. That was the second time she disrespected me in an hour, so I was very angry. I didn't really want to kill her. I'm sorry for saying that to you."
"Nessie, that's not OK! What if I wasn't around? What if someone does that again to you, or worse. How will you handle it? Your decision to react could destroy our family, plus lead to the Vultori showing up. That would mean a really ugly fight, Nessie, with lives lost."
"I understand Aunt Ali. I promise, it won't happen again. You have my word."
"Alright, Nessie, but remember that your decisions don't only effect you. They effect all of us."
The ride home was quiet. I felt so bad for my outburst. I can't help but think about what would have happened if Aunt Ali hadn't stopped me. That was so stupid. Daddy could buy this truck a hundred times over. It's just a truck. I won't allow her to see me sweat anymore. I gave her exactly what she wanted.
When we got home, my mind went to Jacob. Somehow, all day, I was so distracted that my mind couldn't rest on him. The empty feeling in my chest returned, and I missed him so much. I turned my head toward the window while silent tears returned.
I thought about how right now, I would be talking to Jacob about today, and probably be laughing at the strange boys. I'm sure he would be mad about my reaction to Savanna, but I'm also sure that he would quickly forgive me.
It feels strange returning home without him there. The loss I feel is almost like he's died. Never returning to me again.
Aunt Ali pulled up to the main house. When everyone heard us approaching, they came out to welcome us, and to hear about our first day. I really didn't have anything to say. I was embarrassed about how close I came to hurting that human. Aunt Ali had promised she wouldn't tell if I made a better effort to control myself. But we both knew that with just one slip up in our thoughts, we would be outed. Dad would immediately catch it, and I would be back home from school until I get older. Even though I didn't want to go this morning, I actually enjoyed it, and want to continue going.
Mom came out and lifted me into a huge hug. "Renesmee! Did you love it? Did you meet some new friends?" She lowered me down, kissing my forehead.
I smiled. "Mom, I loved it. The people were very nice, and I met a guy and a girl that are siblings that took me and Aunt Ali in their group of friends. They were really nice to us. Well, actually, I had already met them a couple of weeks ago, when..." I sighed.
"Well, when what?"
"When Jake and I went to the boardwalk. They introduced themselves then. They remembered me." I said, not returning to the spunky tone I had before I thought about Jake.
Everyone went in the house. Alice went straight to Jasper. Her mood was still a little sour. He looked at her, questioning, but she just shook her head, and gave him a hug and kiss, pulling him upstairs.
Uncle Emmit looked over to me. "So, Nessie...How many boys tried to hit on you? Do I need to go up there and put them in their places?" He looked over, smiling at me.
"What makes you think anyone would be interested?" I smiled at him, going over to sit by him. Aunt Rosie came over and stood over him, waiting on him to say something inappropriate.
"Well, little niece, you are a beautiful girl, and you are part vampire, which makes you extra beautiful. I know they couldn't resist." He looked up at Aunt Rosie, making sure he said the right thing, obviously not wanting to get popped in the head.
"Yes, there is one boy. It's the one that we met on the boardwalk. He's nice, but he's kind of weird."
"Weird how?" Daddy asked, looking in my memories of him.
"Well, he just met me that one time weeks ago, then again today. But, he acts like he is attached to me at the hip. He even broke up with his girlfriend the same day he met me weeks ago, all because he wanted a chance to be with me. He even told her that. So, all day, he followed me around. When anyone else tried to speak to him, it was like he was in another world. He only saw me. Only heard me. I told him to stop that. He was only gonna make my life harder at school. Everyone would hate me. He kept promising to work on it, but I just don't know."
"It sounds like he imprinted on you." Uncle Emmit said, then burst out laughing. Now, that got him a pop in the head from Aunt Rosie.
"Stop saying stupid stuff that you know will only hurt her. Dammit, Emmit!"
"Sorry, Nessie, Rose." He put his head down.
"It's alright. It really did seem like that though." I said.
"Did he seem to be an immortal?" Dad asked.
"Well, no...not him." I stated.
Dad stood up. "What do you mean not him? Renesmee, tell me everything. Right now."
"Well, Dad, there's nothing to tell, really. When we got to school, Brody, that's the boy's name, introduced me to three of his friends and his sister. All three boys totally creeped me and Aunt Ali out. Even when they touched me, it made me want to go take two baths. I thought it was just me, but Aunt Ali later mentioned it to me. She had the same feeling."
"And...what about his sister?"
"Well, it's hard to explain. Let's see. Ah, man, Daddy, I have something to tell you. Don't be mad, please."
Daddy walked closer and sat next to me. "Renesmee, stop blocking your thoughts. You know I'll pry until I find out, anyway. Plus, I promise. I'll keep an open mind." Mom came over and laid her hand on his shoulder, willing him to stay calm. "Renesmee?"
"Well, Daddy, remember I told you about Brody telling his girlfriend about me, and breaking up with her...well...she was very angry with me today. Very angry. At first, I didn't know why. She didn't even know me to be treating me like that, so it confused me. I was asking Brody what her problem was, and he came clean with me after I told him I was in a relationship with Jake." I sighed. "Anyway, the rest of the day, she made it her mission to give me mean eyes. After one of my classes, I confronted Brody and told him to stop ignoring her. To try to work it out with her. She heard me, came back, and said some really ugly, disrespectful things to m e in front of everyone. Brody's sister touched me on the shoulder when she noticed how angry I was getting, and not only did all of my anger leave me, but I couldn't really remember why I was originally mad. I mean, I knew why, but the feelings attached to the anger were gone." Daddy gasped. "Well, at the end of the day, Aunt Ali and I were going to the car, and Savanna, his old girlfriend, toilet papered the Mercedes, and wrote some ugly messages on the windows. When I heard them laughing in the distance, I got really angry. I wanted to go over there and have it out with her. Aunt Ali stopped me, but my mind was so jumbled up with anger that I wasn't listening. That's when Legend ran over to where we were and put her hand on my shoulder again. Same thing happened. Before I could question how she did that, Aunt Ali pulled me into the car."
"Renesmee Cullen. Didn't we talk about this? Didn't we warn you that humans can be mean, but we can't let ourselves react to them?" Daddy said, clearly upset, standing up next to Mom. I looked up at him, clearly remorseful about my actions.
"But, Daddy, I didn't want to fight her, I just wanted to say ugly things to her like she had to me."
"We understand that, honey." Mom said. "But, you never know where your words will take you. You are part human, so your emotions are not as poised and controlled like ours. You have to remember that the safety of our family lies in your hands right now. You can't make those kinds of mistakes. Ever." Mom looked at Daddy. She clearly had removed her shield, and was talking to him. He looked over at her and walked out the house. I knew he was really mad at me, and hoped Mom could calm him down before he insists on taking me out of school.
I looked over at Aunt Rosie and Grandma. "Was I wrong for telling him? I really don't want to stay home. I want to go to school." Tears began flowing from my eyes. Uncle Emmit got up and they both sat next to me. Aunt Rosie putting her arms around me, and Grandma putting her hands in my hands.
"Sweetheart, you should always be honest with your parents, even when it's not in your own personal best interest. They only want to protect you. Plus, what you just told you father needs to be looked into. We are not the only type of immortals out there. We run into them from time to time. It's been a long time, but they are out there."
"Am I in danger?"
"Probably not, but I wonder if they know what you are?"
I gasped. "Oh, my god. Grandma, I'm so sorry. I never..."
"Shhhh...it's not your fault. Your did nothing wrong. I was just wondering."
"Nessie, did they have a heartbeat?" Aunt Rosie asked.
"Um, um, yes, I think."
"What about their smell?"
"Now, something was different about it. They all had interesting smells. The three boys smelled like the outside and grass. Brody smelled like that too, but also some kind of sweet flower. Legend smelled the best. While she had the outside, grass smell, she had a honey and orangey smell added."
"Alice! Alice! Come down here!" Aunt Rosie called. Aunt Ali was down in an instant. She smiled at me.
"You told them. I knew you would do the right thing."
"Alice, we need to know everything about those boys today." Aunt Rosie stated.
"What boys?"
"Brody and his friends." I told her about my impression and what happened with Legend. It surprised her, but she admitted that something was very familiar about not them, but their scents. She said it brought her back to many years before, when they lived in the south, but she dismissed it, knowing they had a heartbeat, and couldn't be immortal.
During this time, Mom and Daddy walked back in, listening to Aunt Ali's version of the story.
"Do you think we need to enroll, too, in order to find out what they are?" Mom asked Daddy.
"I don't know. We have no reason the believe they are dangerous. I just don't know."
That night, I went hunting with Mom. I hadn't been for weeks, preparing with Jake on how to survive as a human. After all the tension in the house from earlier, I jumped at the chance to leave the chaos. It's been two hours since I got home, and they are still talking about what happened. I felt like just screaming "shut up already!" but I knew better. When Mom asked me to come with her, I flew out the door.
"Mom, I messed up bad today, didn't I?"
"Well, it definitely could have been really bad, but no harm was done. Renesmee, you must never forget who you are. You are not like them, and you must remember that in all situations."
"I will Mom. Thanks for being so understanding. Mom..."
"Yes..."
"Can I call Jake? Maybe he'll talk to me since he's had some time to cool off. Would Dad allow that?"
"I don't see why not. Wanna do it now?"
I squeaked "Yes!"
Mom handed me her phone. "I'll be a ways up. I smell a deer. Call my name when you're finish. I'll give you some privacy." Mom ran off. I opened the phone and dialed Billy's number. Billy answered.
"Hi, Billy, it's Nessie. Is Jake around?" Billy paused for a long while. At first I thought he had hung up, but he spoke.
"Oh...um...hi Nessie. Jake's here, but he doesn't want to talk. He just asked me to tell you that he still needs some time."
"Time? Time for what? I just want to talk to him. I'm not asking him to come back. Please, Billy."
"Um, hold on..." My heart began to beat quickly. I heard them murmuring in the background. He must have had his hand on the phone.
"Um, Nessie, he won't. He says he just doesn't know if he can be just friends with you. He's very hurt, and needs you to not call again."
"But..."
"Nessie, please. You made your choice. He accepted it, now accept his."
"But Billy, I was wrong. That's what I want..." The phone went dead. My heart dropped. I just stood there, looking at the phone, trying to understand why he won't be friends anymore, at least. I know I hurt him by pushing him away, but he promised. Tears began welling up in my eyes. I called again. Jacob answered.
"What Renesmee!"
"Jake...I...I'm sorry..." I began weeping in the phone. "Jake, please, don't do this. I need..."
"Renesmee, listen..." His voice softened. "I'm sorry too. I expected something of you that you were unwilling and unable to give to me. For that, I am...I was wrong. I only wanted you to be happy. I still do. So, that's why I'm asking you to never call here again. It hurts me too much to hear your voice. Maybe in time we can begin talking again, but now..."
"Jake, wait...hear me out, please. I was wrong. I love you. I know that now." My voice breaking up after each phrase.
"Renesmee..."
"Jake, please stop calling me that..."
"Nessie, you've always loved me. I knew that. It just hurt me when you refused to talk to me about the imprint, even after you knew. I love you, but I really need some time to get past this all, and I don't know how long it'll take. I need you to respect what I'm asking. I need my space from you and your family. I have given everything I had of myself to you. Now, I need to take care of myself."
"Jake, no. Please, you're not understanding me...I.." He hung up, again.
I my body went numb all over. My heart was beating way too fast, and I felt sick to my stomach. I fell to the ground and curled myself up near a tree. "What am I going to do? I love him so much. I need him in my life." A feeling of complete loss come over me. My body trembled in sadness. My whole world seemed to not matter anymore. I grabbed the phone again, tempted to call him again. How could he be like this with me? Could he really hate me? Will I really be alone forever? I began sobbing into the phone, unable to hit talk.
Out of no where, someone picked me up. I really couldn't see them. The only thing that was clear was my tears, and the fog that they created. I just rested my head on them, holding the phone close. Soon after, I was put down. My eyes were wiped clean, and I looked up. It was Mom. We were in Jake's cottage. "Mom, he hates me. He told me to not call him anymore. He says I hurt him too much. He hasn't forgiven me. Oh, Mom, what am I going to do." She pulled me close to her, never saying a word. "Mom, it hurts too bad. I feel like someone has stabbed me in the heart, over and over. Mom, I want him back."
She never said a word. She picked me up again, got one of Jake's t-shirts, and placed me in his bed, pulling the covers over me, fully dressed. She knew. The pain was tangent. Touch me anywhere, it reminded me of the hurt I felt in my heart. She walked out, silently closing the door behind her.
Before I went to bed, I wrote this to Jake:
Jake,
I travel to find your joy.
You say that my life is not like yours,
and I understand you my love.
You claim that you can feel my pain,
and I understand you,
but I have never said to you how I feel without you.
Without you, my love, without you my precious friend,
without you I will cry
forever...
Renesmee
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