Chapter 11: Questions
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in my story. They belong to Stephanie Meyer. I also don't own any of the poetry in Nessie's Journal that's mentioned in the chapter. Most of it is from anonymous writers.
At some point in the near future, I would like to take credit for my characters that will cause havoc in the life of our beloved Cullens but for now, SM, it's all yours.
To my readers and reviewers, I love you. You make my heart skip a beat every time I read one of your reviews. You make me want to continue. So, smooches to you all. Also, I know that it's been a while since I've updated this story but I promise to do better. I started another that kept my attention and I'm sorry for that but I do appreciate you four for five girls that kept reminding me that this story needs to be told.
Unfortunately, this chapter was not Beta'd either so I take full responsibility for any and all mistakes. If there are any holes as far as information or suggestions, feel free to PM me. Be nice, alright?
To my girls on Twitter NicciB23 and robinsff, you guys make me laugh and always keep me wanting to continue this story. I guess this is the one Jake that you don't want to castrate. Lol! Love u BBs!
Anywho, read!
((((( Legend's POV)))))
I looked over to the right and saw a tall, tanned, muscular built boy approaching us. As soon as I placed my eyes on him, my heart leaped and I was unable to take my eyes off of him. He was by far the most beautiful being that I'd ever placed my eyes on.
Usually, when I meet boys, I couldn't be more uninterested. Not that I don't like boys but most of them are so into themselves that they barely notice me in their presence. Plus, having Brody as a brother makes me really not trust boys. If any of them are even half as bad as him then I don't ever see myself dating.
But this boy approaching me seemed different. Other than his large build, he walked with a confidence that I've never seen before in someone so young. He was very similar in build and likeness to Jake. Maybe they're brothers or something.
Oh, please notice me. Please look at me.
After Nessie ran to him, she brought him back to us. I got so excited that I felt my heartbeat accelerate and my hands became clammy, plus, my breathing became quick but shallow. Man, what in the world is wrong with me. I don't even know him and I'm acting all weird about him already.
Oh, please don't let him be like my brother or any of his friends.
"Seth, this is Legend. Legend, this is..." Nessie began introducing us. Before she could finish, I stepped in front of her and extended my hand to Seth, smiling.
"Hello, Seth. Nice to meet you." I said. Immediately, it felt like something wrapped around me and drew me closer to him. My heartbeat began again to race faster than before and my breathing became shallow. I may have even stopped breathing for a while.
We stood there, looking into each other's eyes. For that while, no one else existed in the world. It was just me and him. Time may have stopped and seasons may have changed but for that moment, we existed alone in that space.
Seth took a step toward me then reached over to my hand all while never leaving the comfort of my eyes. He intertwined his fingers with mine. The warmth of his touch and the sweetness of his smell made me weak in my knees.
I've never been in love before but if this is love, I want more of it… much more.
Seth picked up his other hand and brushed my cheek with the back of his hand. As I felt his touch, I leaned my head toward his hand… encouraging his touch.
Out of no where, Jake burst out laughing. He was hunched over, laughing so hard that he had to catch his breath before starting again. Seth and I both looked at Jake and wondered what his problem was.
I guess after he got all the laughing out that he could, he said, "They… he… Seth… " He couldn't get it out for laughing. "Seth just imprinted on her." I looked back at Seth. I was confused. I had no idea what exactly Jake was saying. When I looked at Seth, smiled at me.
"What?" I asked. "What is imprinted?" Seth paused for a moment like he was trying to figure out how to tell me something. Finally he spoke.
"Legend, can we go for a walk and talk?" Seth asked. I smiled at him and nodded. Honestly, I didn't care what he wanted to say to me. As long as I got to spend a little time with him, nothing else mattered.
When we walked off, Nessie ran up to Seth. "Wait, Seth, I have something to tell you." She looked at me smiling. She was way too giddy. Not the Nessie that I've gotten to know over the past couple of weeks. She looked at Seth. "You can speak freely with her. She knows everything. She'll understand." She smiled at us both then left.
"Seth, what are they talking about?"
"Can we go sit by the lake right over here?" He asked then twisted his fingers in mine.
When we got there, I almost forgot about the talk. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted him close to me. When he sat down, he patted the seat next to him. I sat really close. Just his presence made me feel secure, protected. Plus there seemed to be currents flowing between us that only pulled us closer. I placed my head on his shoulder. I knew this is out of the norm and probably really weird for him but I just couldn't help myself. I was so drawn to him that it was hard to stop what I knew was wrong to be doing.
Seth placed his arms around me, kissed my forehead, and pulled me even closer. For a long while, we never spoke. We just sat there looking at the beautiful lake.
"This view is absolutely beautiful. I've never come back here to actually see it this close," I said.
"It's alright… especially with you sitting next to it. It hardly compares." He rubbed my arms, kissed my forehead again then deeply inhaled. I turned to look at him. The shine in his eyes when he looked at me reminded me of the sun at noon. They were shining, beautiful, warm, and made you not want to leave its presence.
Soon after, he focused on something far away then looked back at me as he scooted even closer. Then, he must have changed his mind and sat on a stump in front of me. My mouth immediately pouted. I wanted him close… much closer. Plus, I couldn't touch him over there. I took a deep, frustrated breath then let it out.
"Legend. We need to talk before we go any farther."
"Farther?"
"Well… yes, Legend… how much do you know about Nessie and her family? You heard Nessie. Be honest with me."
I looked him over, trying to see exactly what he wanted me to say. He definitely wasn't a vampire like the Cullens, so how would he know about the supernatural world?
"Legend?" He said gently.
Just the mention of my name on his lips made my heart leap. He somehow noticed. What he did next surprised me. He leaned forward and placed his hand on my heart. What in the world was I suppose to do when a boy did that to me? I just sat there… probably looking really stupid.
"Um…"
My mind was racing but when I looked in his eyes, I had my resolve. I trusted him. I knew somehow that what ever I told him would be safe. Yeah, I could trust him.
"My family has known the Cullens for many, many years. My father and mother are together today because of Carlisle and Edward."
"Alright. Specifically, do you know what the Cullens are?"
I paused but continued. "Yes. Yes, I do."
"If you don't mind, can I hear you say it? Would you tell me specifically what they are? I wouldn't normally ask you to do that but it's really important."
"They're… vampires." I took a deep breath and hoped I hadn't just messed things up for my friends.
He smiled. "Breath, Legend. It's alright. I just needed to know just how much you knew before I continued." I smiled at him… glad that I had trusted him with our secrets. "Legend, have you ever heard of werewolves? Or Shape shifters?"
I gasped. I know my eyes were large, and my mouth probably wide open.
Legend, calm down. You know about the supernatural world. Calm down. I told myself.
"Yes. I've heard of both."
"Well…" He took in a ragged, deep breath. "Well… that's me… and Jacob. We come from a long line of Shape shifters that originated in Forks, Washington. We were originally created to protect humans from Vampires. They actually are our natural enemy but as you see, things have changed. Actually, Jake and Nessie changed everything.
"Anyway, in addition to being a Shapeshifter, we also have a way of mating. Maybe mating is a really bad word. Let me explain. Have you ever been in love, Legend?"
"Um, no. I've never even dated." I was embarrassed to be even tell him that. Most men didn't want an inexperienced girl.
His eyes pulled together when he looked down at me. "Really, Legend?"
"Yes, really." I admitted, hanging my head. He immediately picked my face up to him.
"Legend, never be ashamed of that. I'm glad. You saved yourself for me. If it makes you feel any better, I've never dated, never fallen in love, never liked a girl." My eyes got big. It was hard to believe that a boy as beautiful as him could have stayed single anytime. "Alright, I need to get this out. You need to understand what's going on here between us.
"Legend, we call it 'imprinting' which basically means that we've found our soul mate. Even from birth, the pair are made for each other. Every aspect of our lives are created to be in sync. The love that's shared is pure and totally fulfilling to both parties. It's like you're no longer held to the earth by gravity but each other. The whole world revolves around you both without being affected. Legend, it's more than just being in love. It's a oneness. A wholeness that the two share. They are no longer two… but one. Sharing everything… desiring happiness that only the other can bring – protecting that love with their life. Am I making sense?"
"Well… I think so. So… did you imprint on me or did I imprint on you?"
He looked at me weird. "I imprinted on you, of course. The tradition came from my ancestors. From many generations deep."
"Huh, well… I don't know about that. I've never heard of the word "imprinting," but I know very well about the process that you just spoke of." He looked at me confused about where I was going with this. "Seth, I have something to tell you." I took a deep breath. "Well… let me see just how to start. As you know, for me to know anything about the Cullens then I have to be a part of this supernatural world too, right?" His breathing hitched. He opened his mouth to ask me a question but I stopped him. "No, I'm not a vampire." I told him. "Breathe…" I giggled. "Well… um… I… I mean my… um…"
"Legend, baby, calm down. You can tell me anything." He took my hands in both of his. My mind went blank after he called me "baby." I just sat there and looked at his hands and mine. "Legend?"
"Oh, sorry. Well, my mother is a Nymph. Do you know what that is?"
He looked at me almost amazed. "Um… yes…"
"Good. I have her gifts. I tend to nature. I can bring any plant or animal back to life, and I can help humans release anger and fear just from my touch. Wait… I'm rambling. Back to my parents. My dad is a… Warlock. They were… are very different. Their differences should never have allowed them to meet but when my dad saw her the first time, his story reminded me of your imprinting. He lost sight of her shortly and never saw her again for months. He says there was a draw to her that he couldn't fight. When she met him, she felt the same way. Their whole worlds changed that day. So… that's why I asked if I imprinted on you. I thought that maybe I did like my father did to my mother.
"When you walked up to the house, before Nessie hugged you, I felt the draw to you. I was really hoping that you didn't get all creeped out by me and run off."
"Legend. A thousand bulls couldn't keep me away from you now. I am here until you send me away… and even after." He leaned in and kissed my hands.
"Seth, are you from here? I don't know how I've missed you all these years."
"No. I live on the reservation in Forks. Well, I did until just now." He smiled.
"So, you're moving here? Because of me?"
"Legend, I'm already here. The Cullens are family… just like my own. And, yes, because of you. For you. I need to be around you. Just the thought of leaving here hurts my heart. I hope it's alright."
"Alright? Seth, I feel the same way. I feel like I need you now… your touch, your smile, your presence near me. I hope I don't get too gooey and touchy for you. If I do, you'll have to tell me. Promise you'll tell me."
"Baby, calm down. How can you give me too much of what I want… what I need from you. Everything'll be just fine." He leaned in again to kiss my hands.
All I could think about was how much I wanted to kiss his lips – feel his warm breath in my mouth, smell his sweet scent close to me. I suddenly could feel a blush rising in my face. I looked away from Seth but he turned my face back to him.
"What's wrong, baby?"
My heart skipped a beat again just hearing him call me that. He leaned in again and placed his hand on my heart then smiled widely.
"Seth, can I ask you something?"
"Anything."
"Will you kiss me? I mean… if you think it's not too early. I mean..." Before I could clean up what I had just said, he quickly pressed his lips to mine. I'm sure he felt the hesitation but I was sweetly surprised. He pulled back.
"Legend, I'm sorry. You didn't want me to do that? I thought..."
"Shhh. I got up and sat on his lap. I looked into his eyes and placed my hands on his face and replaced my lips on his. I have to say that it was hard to stop my racing desire to stick my tongue down his throat under control. He moved me even closer to him and cupped my face in his hands as I hugged his neck. He opened his mouth and sucked in my bottom lip then licked my top. I don't know anything about the language of kissing, but I think he wanted to put his tongue in my mouth. I hesitantly opened my mouth. I didn't know if I was doing the right thing. He entered my mouth and pulled my face closer. Our tongues seemed to do a wonderful waltz that sent all kinds of warm, tingly feelings through my body. He kissed my deeply, longingly, but gently. Every touch from his hands sent an indefinite peace through me that I've never gotten from anyone or anything. It warmed my heart dearly. He pulled away from me and looked into my eyes.
"Seth, I love you. I've never been in love, but I don't have any other word to put to what I feel."
He chuckled and rubbed his nose to mine. "I love you too, Legend."
"You do?"
"Of course I do. These feeling that we share are real. They will only intensify as time passes but won't ever change."
We shared another sweet kiss before my mind went into overdrive.
"Wait, Seth, how do you know so much about this? Have you done this before?"
He laughed a little. "No. Of course not. Remember, soul mates? Jacob imprinted on Nessie the day she was born and most of our pack has imprinted. So… I have direct access to all of their fluff."
"When you said most of your pack, what did you mean?"
"Well, just me and my sister, Leah, hasn't imprinted. Well, now, just Leah." He looked off in the distance. "She is going to be so pissed."
I just looked at him. I guess he'll tell me that story later. "Okay, did I understand you when you said Jacob imprinted on Nessie when she was born?"
"Yes, the moment he saw her, she had him wrapped around her tiny little fingers."
"So, Jacob has waited for seventeen years to be with Nessie?"
He laughed. "No. Nessie is only six years old."
My mouth went in a permanent 'O.' "Remember, she's a vampire/human. Her growth rate was accelerated because of the vampire in her. Actually when each one of us got the wolf, our growth rate did the same thing, except most of us were already teenagers when we got ours."
"Wow, Seth, I have so much to learn about you but I look forward to every single minute."
Seth looked down at his watch and grabbed my hand. "Come on, it's time for the party."
((((( Renesmee's POV)))))
Everyone began showing up for the party just in time and was really sweet. Some even brought presents. Everything was perfect. I had all of my new friends around me, my family, and my Jake.
For some reason, I couldn't take the ridiculously crazy smile off my face all night. Everyone noticed and was curious about what the huge change us with me. I introduced everyone to my Jake as my boyfriend.
The whole night, I held on to his hand or around his waist. I knew that he was trying not to get too involved with my friends but I wasn't letting him get any farther than arms length. I noticed how the girls eyed him all night – shameless hussies. They know he's mine and still they flirt.
Well, I really couldn't blame them. He is absolutely gorgeous and he's all mine. Hopefully, later tonight I can show him that.
Ah… the things I want to do to that man.
I looked up at him standing behind me, holding me around my waist… damn! But I know he's not having it.
Every sensitive point in my body is in hypersensitive overload… shit! Oooohh, I need to stop. I know by now, Daddy's heard everything I just said. Damn!
I sighed as I tried to pull my thoughts back together. Unfortunately, it didn't work.
I grabbed Jake by the hand and went outside in the backyard. There were kids out there but I went on the side and pressed him against the side of the house. I reached up, cupped his face in my hands, pulled him down, and kissed the hell out of him. It felt so right to be there with him like that. I passed my right hand down his cheek, his neck, his six pack, then his hips. When I found the bottom of his shirt, I pushed his shirt up and smoothed my hands across his stomach. His body felt so soft but hard in all the right places. His warm breath against my neck and the fragrance of his nature was making me want to do all sorts of nasty things to him. I pressed closer.
"Jake..."
"Uh, huh."
"Will you make love to me tonight?" Jake froze in his efforts. He released his grip around me and looked at me, longingly.
"Nessie..." He whispered so sweetly. "Baby, I couldn't do that to you. We just started dating and we're not married, but most of all, your father will literally kill me."
"Jake, all of that is just a formality. We're meant to be together. What do we need to date for? Oh, Jakie, please? It would make this birthday the best birthday ever. Then I'll have everything I've ever wanted."
"Nessie, can we talk about this after the party when we're completely alone?
I crossed my arms in front of me. "Fine, Jake. Whatever." I stormed off but he came quickly behind me and stopped me before I made the turn and wrapped his arms around me from the back. "Ness, please, don't be mad. I want you too, but not like this. I want to be married to you first. I want to do things right. Don't you understand that?"
I turned to look in his eyes. They were flooded with sincerity. My heartbeat accelerated and my breaths became ragged. "Jake… you want to marry me? I..." He put his finger on my lip.
"Ness… of course I do. I would marry you today if you'd accept and if your father would let me. You're my whole life. I've waited patiently for years for just that."
"But..." I put my head down shyly. "But Jake, I love you. You do know that I'd happily accept, today." He hugged me closely. "Why can't we? That is if you're asking me."
"Ness, why do we have to rush into things? Plus, it would only infuriate your father. Let's slow down. I've waited all these years; I can wait a little longer."
"But how much longer?"
"I would think at least until your eighteenth birthday. Then you would have the support of your family, and I wouldn't get killed."
"Ah, Jake… I can't wait that long. How can you deny me what I want that long? Jake..."
He chuckled under his breath and smiled. "It'll probably be the hardest thing I've ever done in my life but I'm definitely up for the challenge. Besides, you love me, I know you don't want to make things too hard for your future husband. Come here."
He took me into his arms and kissed me, but this time, the kiss was different. It was slow and sweet and deepened every moment we were connected. When he licked my bottom lip and sucked it in, I almost came a loose. And the way he held me close and held me in the crook of my back wasn't like before. He needed me and I needed him. This was our agreement. Our agreement to love each other forever. To be everything each other needed no matter what… to look toward to a future that was destined to be. Our tongues danced melodically to the music of our own beat. Our bodies mangled together as out touches remained sweet. My mind for a moment was clear. I could envision his dream for our life. I could see our future, our wedding day, our children. I felt my heart open a little more for him as I allowed myself open to his every will. At that moment there was nothing I wouldn't do for him.
Dad walked around the corner with Mom. "Just what do you two think you're doing?"
Jake and I jumped away from each other quickly. "Um…"
"That's enough, Renesmee. You would do well to control your thoughts when you know I'm so near. You two need to take a step back and remember that you're still too young to do any of the things that you're thinking."
Dad stood there stiff as a board as he spoke very sternly to us. Mom held his hand with one hand and his forearm with the other.
"Now, Renesmee, you have more than a hundred people in our home that are asking where you are. Go inside, enjoy the rest of your party." Dad looked at Jacob. "Jacob, stay here. I want to talk to you."
"No. I will not let you bully him. He did nothing wrong. I won't leave him here."
"Nessie, it's alright. He has a right to talk to me about his expectations of me."
"No!" I grabbed his hand. "Not tonight. It's my night and I don't want the two of you spoiling it for me. Come on Jake."
"Renesmee, you're being very bullheaded and disrespectful, and I don't take kindly to your attitude," Dad practically growled out.
"Look. If you feel like I'm being disrespectful then for that I apologize, but Daddy, what did you expect to happen when Jake finally came back? I can't and won't go back to where we were. I love him too much. Plus, you know all too well about teenage love." I held Jacob's hand firmly. There was no way I was letting him go.
"Renesmee… watch your mouth! I'm still your father. I'll separate you and Jacob so fast that your head will spin. Don't. Push. Me."
"Edward… stop. You'll just push her away… please." Mom whispered to him as she rubbed his arm.
I sighed. "Whatever, Daddy. If he leaves, I leave. Where he goes, I go. You can't do that to us anymore. And, if you want me to leave for not keeping to your ridiculous rules then I will." I stood there with my chest out and my head up as I waited for but dreaded his response."
Jacob spoke up. "Alright, alright. That's enough. Both of you need to calm the hell down. Nobody's going anywhere and everybody's finish with this conversation until later. Bells, take him somewhere until they both cool down. Let's go back to the party. It'll be over in a couple of hours."
Jake tugged my hand and pulled me around the house and back inside. He stopped when we were out of sight. "Ness, you have to stop that. Your dad only wants the best for you. You won't get anywhere threatening him or destroying your relationship with him because of me. In fact, I won't allow it. I love your parents too. I look at them like my own… especially your father. I want a relationship with them. So, please… for me? Calm down. Try to see things his way."
I shrugged out of his hold. "You're no better than him. Everyone thinks they know what's best for me, but no one wants to hear how I feel or what I want. Fine, Jacob. Have it your way. This..." I waved between us. "...won't ever work, neither will I pursue it if you don't accept my needs in this relationship or at least try to. I'm not asking you to just give in and screw my brains out but I do want you to try to understand me and why I want to. Besides… if you love my dad so much, maybe it's him you need to pursue a relationship with… not me."
"Renesmee Carlie Cullen! Don't you speak to Jacob like that!" Mom turned the corner alone. "I kept my mouth shut because I understand teenage love and your need for each other but I don't understand your issue with Jake now. Renesmee, don't alienate everyone that loves you just because they don't agree with you. That behavior is why your father is asking you to slow down. You need to grow up a bit more to understand how to deal with relationships and love and conflict and peoples differences. What would you do if you got married tomorrow and you and Jake had a disagreement? I hope you don't think the way you responded tonight was right because it definitely wasn't. Especially how I just heard you speak to Jake."
I've never heard Mom speak to me with that tone. It made me feel really bad about how I'd just treated Jake. Dad, he deserved it but it was still wrong.
I put my head down and placed my hands over my face. I tried to hold back my tears but I was unsuccessful. I began sobbing into my hands. Immediately, Jake came over and wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly. "Ness..."
"No..." I pulled back from him. "Jake, don't apologize to me. I'm the one sorry. I'm just acting like a complete brat. I love you. I didn't mean what I said. Please forgive me."
"Of course I do. And Ness, I'll try to do better, too. I have to remember that you are not a little girl anymore and you have needs and desires and new expectations from me. I love you and I'm sorry for messing up your birthday."
"You're wrong. You've made if absolutely perfect. It's me that messed it up. Love you."
"Alright, Renesmee. Finish this later. Go in with your guests." Mom commanded.
We went in, and Mom went to find my daddy. I know that later I'll have to apologize for the way I spoke to him but for now I'll enjoy the rest of my party.
When we made it back in, everyone was having a really great time… except Brody. He was hanging out in the far corner of the room and every time a girl went to talk to him or ask for a dance, he dismissed them all like they were flies or some shit. I don't get him. Legend told me about him and how he was with girls and to now see him treat them all like that really made me feel sad for him. I knew it was about me. But what could I do? I did everything I could to push him away.
Jake noticed me looking at him but never said a word about it. He probably knew anyway.
Later, I was dancing with some of the girls from school and Jake was hanging out in the kitchen with Emmett. He came to find me and asked if it would be alright to speak to my daddy before I did. I thought it was fine since I knew I had to face him, probably alone, after the party.
When Jake left, Aunt Ali and Aunt Rosie came on the dance floor and danced and had a great time with me.
Even though I was having a great time, my eyes still fell on Brody every now and then. He never moved from that spot until Jake left. When I looked for him, he was nowhere in sight. Suddenly, the music changed and played a beautiful slow song by Ray Lamontagne, "Let It Be Me." I hadn't heard slow music all night. It made me miss Jake.
Damnit! I wish I hadn't told him to go. Now, I'm standing in the middle of the floor by my damn self, looking stupid.
"Can I have this dance?" Brody whispered from behind.
I turned around and met his gaze. It was something definitely very different about him. It was the look in his eyes. It actually made me feel really warm.
"Alright." I agreed but surprised at myself for allowing this.
He smiled widely at me and gently took me around my waist. I placed my arms around his neck. I knew he was much closer than he needed to be but I didn't protest. We swayed back and forth around the floor. The song was so incredibly beautiful. It made you want to be close. It seemed like time literally stood still. Like all of the bullshit that Brody took me through didn't even matter anymore. For a moment, I felt like I wasn't in control of my own body – like somehow I was joined to him… like he was me and I was him.
"Nessie, do you like this song?"
"Uh, hum."
"Nessie, it's me. Everything I want to say to you but can't. I want you to choose me, Nessie. I love you."
"Brody… I…" I couldn't even get it out. The way he looked at me made me want to love him back for some reason. I wanted him to be happy. I just stood there holding his gaze, feeling myself get lost in his eyes.
"Nessie, I need to kiss you. Can I? I mean… do you want me to?" I stopped swaying with him but held his gaze. Everything in me told me not to do it but I really wanted to. I wanted him to kiss me. Not like before… with passion and with my permission. I nodded my head. He pulled me a tad bit closer with one hand on my waist and placed his other hand on my face. He leaned in as I closed my eyes and awaited his lips. I desired his tongue against mine. His warm breath sprayed across my face causing goosebumps to flow up my arm. My heart raced and I grabbed the back of his hair with great anticipation – wanting his lips.
Damn, he smells so good and the way he's touching me has me on fire for him. What the hell?
As I felt his lips graze across mine, I smelled Jake.
"Nessie?" Jacob whispered. No one could hear him but I heard him perfectly. I quickly jumped out of Brody's arms just as he placed his lips on mine. Brody was stunned by my sudden change in mood and appeared very annoyed. He looked over at Jacob who was walking out the back door.
I turned around to run after Jacob but Brody caught my arm before I could go far. "Nessie, let him go. I can give you everything he can… even more. Let me love you." When he looked in my eyes, that same feeling came over me. I stopped resisting him and just stared into his beautiful eyes. Time and space ceased to exist and I wanted to be there… with him… letting him love me. He leaned down again for the kiss I had promised him just minutes before and pulled me close again.
Then, out of nowhere, I felt Mom's shield snap around me. It pulled me from the stupid "Brody trance" that I was in. Again, when his lips met mine, I pulled back. I was unclear as to why the hell I'd just agreed to allow him to do that to me.
What the hell is wrong with me? How could I do that to Jake?
I turned to run after Jake again and Brody stopped me again. He looked deeply into my eyes. "Nessie..."
This time it didn't work. I yanked my arm from his and bolted out the door after Jake.
"Jake, wait! Wait!" I caught up to him and grabbed his arm to stop him. He was trembling uncontrollably and he had the look of a killer in his eyes. I let him go and stepped back. "Jake, please, don't leave. I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me. One moment I heard this beautiful song that I wanted to dance to with you, then..."
"Stop, Nessie, stop, please. All you had to do was be honest with me. I knew from the conversation that I had with him earlier today that he cared for you deeply, but you assured me that you didn't feel the same way about him. But, that definitely was not what I just saw in there. You wanted him to kiss you. You knew that wasn't me. You still wanted him to kiss you."
Jake put his head down as he willed himself to calm down before he phased.
"Nessie, I know I shouldn't have left and I know that all of this happened because I did but I just don't know if I can sit by and watch something like that again. In fact, I know I can't." He placed his partially steady hand to my cheek. "Nessie, do you love him? He honest with me." I took a deep breath and searched deep within me for the honest answer that Jake deserved. I felt nothing. I had no desire to kiss him, I couldn't see myself with him, I didn't want him touching me, and remembering his smell made me cringe.
"No, Jake. Nothing even near that. Like I said, I don't know what came over me. I felt like it was just us in the room… like I wasn't thinking for myself or something."
"Nessie, stop. That's exactly how I feel when I'm near you. Especially when we're about to kiss. You may need to search deeper for your answer. In fact, as far as I'm concerned, I already have it." A tear fell from his eyes. "I'll be at my cottage. Good night, Nessie, and happy birthday." Before he walked off, his tears were completely flowing. His hands were steady but his heart was broken.
"Fuck! What the hell is wrong with me tonight?" I turned and walked in the other direction toward the woods. When I got under the covering of the trees, I slumped down under one of the trees and threw my head into my hands. I deserved everything I got tonight. I guess my daddy was right. I needed to grow the fuck up. Shit! "Jacob, please don't leave me," I whispered into my hands.
My heart was breaking again as I felt the same loss I'd felt for weeks. Somehow I just knew that he'd leave me again – this time maybe never coming back. I stood to my feet. "I won't allow it. I'll beg him if I have to."
As I raced toward the clearing behind the house, I heard movement behind me. "Jake?"
"No, it's me." Brody's voice broke through the darkness. "I was worried about you when I saw Jacob walk past the house. Are you alright?" I pushed him to the ground.
"You dickhead piece of shit! You know who my heart belongs to! You've always known but you still insist on this ridiculous pursuit that'll only get everyone involved hurt. You say you love me but you won't give me what I'm asking of you… to leave me the hell alone! It's obvious that you and I will never be friends so let's come to that conclusion right here, right now!"
He took a step toward me and looked into my eyes. He seemed to be searching for something that obviously wasn't there. "What! What the fuck are you looking at?"
"Nothing."
"Brody, go home. If Legend isn't ready then I'll take her, but I want you off my property right now." I turned away from him. He walked around me to face me once again. I crossed my arms in front of me. "I'll never forgive you for this, Brody. You were supposed to be my friend but all you keep doing is hurting me and making me hurt you. Goodbye."
Again, behind me I heard more leaves rustling. I turned to see if it was Jake but it was Legend and Seth. "Nessie, are you alright?" Seth asked. When he stepped a little closer, he saw my face and clearly I was not alright. Seth looked over at Brody. "What the Hell did you do to her? Where's Jake?" I covered my face and burst into tears as I sobbed uncontrollably. Legend ran over to me and hugged me close.
"Brody, what did you do?" She stepped away from me to face her brother. Suddenly, she clinched her stomach then slapped the hell out of Brody in the face. "You Bastard! You stupid, manipulative, egotistical, conniving Bastard! You can't fight for what you want? You just want to take it don't you?" Seth ran over to her and held her securely beside him. He wanted Brody to know that he never had a chance in hell of hitting her back. "Brody, you're the worst kind of man. You're just like Daddy except you'll never find someone to love you like Mom loves him. You deserve to be alone! Stupid!" She walked back over to me and held me close again. When I looked up at her, I noticed that behind her, Mom, Daddy, and Jake was coming toward us.
"Oh, my God, Legend, take Brody and leave. My dad looks pissed." She let me go, pushed Brody forward and began walking in the other direction.
"Damnit, Brody, you're such a fuck up!" Legend scolded him. "Now, I have to leave Seth!"
"Brody, Legend, come back here," Daddy commanded.
"Yes, sir," both Legend and Brody answered.
Jacob stood by my mom at first then when Brody walked back up, Jake came and stood by me which caused Brody to move further down. Seth grabbed Legend's hand and Mom stood close by Daddy.
"Now, Brody, what the hell did you do?" My Dad asked accusing him.
Brody turned his head to the ground and seemed almost afraid to answer. What the hell could he have done other than just like me and try to get me to like him back? What was Legend going on about? I guess I'll find out soon enough.
"Brody, answer me… now. I'm sure your parents will not take it lightly what you've done, but you will expose it, tonight, to my daughter and Jacob."
Brody looked up at me. Pain was clearly in his eyes and water began to gather in the corners. "Nessie, I'm so sorry. When I saw how you were with Jake earlier, I left for a while and one of my father's potions that I'd mixed yesterday to make you fall in love with me."
"And..." Daddy prodded.
"And I took it. It causes who ever I look into the eyes of to only know me. To only love me. Nessie, I do love you and I got really angry when he just showed back up – reclaiming you like nothing ever happened between us." He said a bit too cocky.
"What the hell?" Jake added.
"Brody, nothing ever happened… remember?" I said almost in a whisper. Jake pulled me close.
"Actually, Nessie, yes it did. I fell in love with you. When we kissed last weekend, I knew then that I had to fight for you – that I'm nothing without you."
"Wait, what?" Jake added.
"Jake, I'll explain everything later, alright? Brody, we can't keep going like this, like I said before. I love Jacob. I always have… for as long as I can remember. I can't let you continue like this. It seems like me continuing to be friends with you only adds fuel to the fire."
"She's right, Brody, you'll have to completely avoid her at all costs if you ever want to get past this and really fall in love." Legend said as she looked in Seth's eyes.
"Brody, I'm very disappointed in you. You know about the love and closeness that we share with your parents. You also know I can read your mind, but still, you do this to my daughter and my son." Dad looked over at Jake and smiled. "I won't take this with offense but I will speak to your parents. Also, if you ever plan on coming with them again, I expect you to be on your best behavior. Do you understand me?"
"Yes, sir."
"Wait, just so I understand, when I agreed to allow him to kiss me and all those feelings I had for him was all his doing, right?"
"Yes, Renesmee. That's why I wrapped you in my shield. I knew something was off but not exactly what. That's why I went to find your father. Did you feel any of that after I wrapped you?"
"No. That's how I was able to leave the house. I thought I was losing my mind or something."
"Nessie, I'm so sorry. I know now that I should've fought for you fairly. I don't want you to love me if you're not willing, anyway. I hope you can forgive me some day."
I looked over at Brody, knowing I had heard all of this a hundred times before – just in the past couple of weeks, but I still told him I forgave him—which I really did. I love Brody and Legend. I do want him as my friend but I won't let him come between Jake and me ever again.
The meeting dissipated. Everyone went back in and Brody went home. Seth promised to take Legend home if she decided she didn't want to stay with us.
When we got back, no one had missed us. They were still having a great time.
When everyone left, the family gathered in the great room trying to assess the damage. Everything was in place pretty much – nothing broken or stolen that we could see. Aunt Ali, Aunt Rosie and Grandma began streaking through the house to pick up trash and to clean. It only took them maybe fifteen minutes to have the house spotless and back to our regular living arrangements.
We all sat down, talking about how great the party was and how people would talk about it for years to come. It was super extravagent – like Alice would do anything less – and everything concerning the party itself was perfect. I thanked Aunt Ali a hundred times then turned to my daddy.
"Daddy, can we talk?"
We walked back to the clearing, where we all were earlier. We walked hand in hand all the way there. "Daddy, I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you or be disrespectful."
"I know, Baby. You're growing up and need some freedom. I guess my little girl is all gone and is turning into a beautiful, feisty young lady." He sounded really sad. It broke my heart that I was doing this to him but what could I do? I knew that he didn't have a lot of time with me as a child and that's where his apprehension lies. He still looks at me like his little girl. I guess technically I am but not the same way.
"Daddy, I'll always be your little girl. Your only little girl but you can't always treat me like I am. I love you with all my heart and I never want us to have a relationship that keeps us at odds with each other. I need you in my life, always, but I also need you to back off just a little. You know eventually I always listen. It just takes me a minute sometimes. I'm sorry if I disappointed you."
He pulled me close. His cool skin giving me the reassurance that all is forgiven. My mind went back to just three or four years before when he'd sit and hold me just like this while we looked at television or just cuddled for no reason. He saw my memory and laughed.
"Renesmee, you're always welcome to be this close to me – grown, married, with children, two hundred years old. It doesn't matter. And you've never disappointed me. Your adventurous nature, while it angers me to no end, also has me envious. You're everything in the area that I always wanted to be. I always kept it hidden because of the time I grew up in. My parents had money and were a part of the elite crowd. I was raised to be well mannered, respectful, and forcefully responsible. I say forcefully because that's what I had to do to contain some of my desires to step out of the box. Once I got older, it was a part of me.
Now, your mother is a whole 'nother story. She was adventurous, even dangerous. She pushed the limits in areas that I only thought of. Even as a vampire, I still wouldn't do some of the things she did as a human. That's where you really got that from." I was genuinely surprised.
"I always thought of Mom as prim and proper – never doing anything even partially adventurous in her life." Daddy laughed for a long while. He was probably thinking back on some of the things that Mom had done.
"Edward, it's not that funny." She came quickly to the clearing and stopped by Daddy. "If you hadn't been so stubborn I wouldn't have done half of that." Daddy laughed even harder. Mom pounced on him, pinning him to the ground. That was my cue to leave. I definitely didn't want to see them make out like a couple of teenagers. Yuck!
I went back and found Jake playing video games with Uncle Emmett. "Jake, can we talk?"
We walked out toward his cottage. I held his hand and intertwined my fingers with his. The walk was sweet. The forest was really quiet and it was easy to put your thoughts together without distractions.
"Jake, I love you." I looked up at him. He stopped and looked at me. He brushed the back of his finger across my chin and leaned in to kiss me. It wasn't deep or building, just sweet. After all of the drama, I realized that he was right. We needed to slow down… way down. There was still a lot of things that I needed to learn and I don't ever want to hurt my Jake.
When we got to the house, Jake seemed a bit uneasy. He walked around quite a bit, washed dishes, changed his bed… all kinds of silly things that could have waited until the morning. I got up to help him but he refused so I sat and put the television on and watched him move nervously through the house. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I went in the bedroom to talk to him. "Jake, what's up? What's wrong? Do you want me to leave?" I said involuntarily pouting.
"No, Nessie, of course not."
"Well, what is it? I won't try anything with you, I promise. You were right. I need to calm down."
"It's nothing, Nessie." He acted like he wanted to say something but he held his peace which really pissed me the hell off.
"Jacob Black, don't you start this Bullshit! I asked you a question, and I expect an answer right Damn now! And don't you lie to me! I've known you all my life. I know when something's wrong."
Jake looked at me with those beautiful eyes, and put them to the floor. "Ness..." He reached into his nightstand and pulled out the letters Id written to him at night when I was sad. I shrugged. I didn't care that he read them. They were to him anyway. "Ness… you're not mad that I read this?"
"Of course not! They were addressed to you, weren't they? I slept in your room, in your bed with your pillow dressed like you every night. I would crawl out my window at night to come here. I had to be near you in any way I could. I hope you don't mind."
"Ness… your notes broke my heart. I'm so sorry I put you through that. You were in so much pain. It makes me nervous to be near you. I never want to hurt you like that again. I just want to hold you and protect you from any pain but it seems like it's me that's hurting you most of all, and I don't know how to deal with it."
I walked over to him, wrapped my arms around his waist, and placing my head on his chest. "Jakie, I love you. And technically, I hurt myself. I pushed you away by not listening to you when you were clearly trying to tell me something really important. Tonight, when you came back here, I ran into the woods, crying. When I thought about you leaving me again, I was in route back to you to beg you to forgive on my knees if I had to. So, Jake, please, don't pull away from me. You won't hurt me. If anything, I'll hurt you, or myself."
"Ness, what was all of that about in the woods tonight?" I crawled to the middle of the bed, while he sat on the edge and I told him about Brody, Legend and their parents and their relation to my parents. I told him about the kiss on the biking trail and how I reacted. I pretty much caught him up on everything he missed over the past several weeks. He was particularly interested in Brody and myself and the connection that we obviously have, but I assured him that on my end the only connection that I possed was a friendship for Brody and his sister.
We talked well into the night and often laughed and kissed. I never got enough of seeing him smile at me or feeling his warm breath on my neck when he hugged me close. My body still reacted to him like it had earlier but I could control it a little… well maybe. Sometimes I still assaulted his mouth if he rubbed on me too damn much. He'll learn.
Thanks for reading. Leave me a review. It may encourage my lazy ass to write some more. Oh, I do have half of the next chapter written so reviews may help me finish. Thanks!
Oh, wait… for my anonymous reviewers, thank you soooooooo much for taking out the time to read and review. I know the effort it takes to review so… thank you, thank you, thank you. Mwah.