Chapter 10: Aftermath

Kurt didn't know how long he'd been lying there, naked on his stomach with the reposed head and tousled silver hair of his similarly naked longtime friend and teammate burrowed into the hollow of his back. A certain lethargy in his joints, however, suggested that he might have fallen asleep for some time.

"Mmmmm…" Ororo stirred then, roused by the twitching wakefulness of his tail where it entangled her waist and upper thigh. She stroked and massaged his shoulder blades with her face and hands. "So it wasn't a dream."

"Isn't it?"

Ororo's body followed the prompting of Kurt's tail, giving him enough space to shift onto his back before bringing her body up level with his, pinning him beneath her. Kurt was just leaning up to kiss her when he caught the neon display of Ororo's clock radio out of the corner of his eye.

"Mmph—" he broke away from her mid-kiss as the significance of the time finally registered. "Is that the real time?"

"As your commanding officer, I know we have no missions scheduled. Barring an emergency, where could you possibly need to be that is more important than my bed?"

Considering the issue settled, Ororo bent forward and began kissing him behind his pointed ear.

"I was…" a rush of guilt flooded over him, cooling his desire. "I was supposed to meet Rachel at 7. For dinner."

Ororo pulled away from him. "A date?"

"Ja. I… I couldn't have known that this would… I'm so sorry."

She rolled her body off of his and they lay on their sides, facing each other. They were silent for several long moments.

"Ororo," Kurt said at least, almost hating himself for speaking. "What will happen now?"

"I don't know, Kurt," she admitted. "Nothing has to happen, if that is what you want."

"Maybe it's not just what will happen," Kurt ventured. "But what should happen."

"Could we be together?" she asked, as much to herself as to him.

"I have to admit, I had not really thought that far. I love you, Ororo. I will always love you. That's all I know."

She laid the flat of her hand on his chest, over his heart. "Just stay here for now," she said. "Stay here until the morning."

"I will, but there is something I need to do first."

"Rachel?"

"Nein. I think it's best I leave her alone for the time being. Something else. May I return to you?"

"Yes, but… please be quick."

Kurt rolled out of bed. As he crossed the room to retrieve his clothes, Ororo marvelled at his remarkable body in all its naked splendour. While she had never been attracted to "conventional" men, Kurt really was something else entirely. His body was such an intoxicating mix of opposites. The emphasized masculinity of his lean muscles was juxtaposed the extreme softness of the fur that coated them. Similarly, while his demonic features could be intimidating, other parts of his body were almost laughably revealing—though his eyes were sometimes mysterious, his tail was an open book. In lovemaking, too, he was as thrillingly aggressive as he was almost femininely susceptible to the manipulations of touch, capable of being reduced to putty when she rubbed his fur against the grain in the right place at the right time. Even his hands, which should have been awkward, she found alluring; when a man has hands that are literally unlike any other hands in the entire world, you know exactly where you are at every moment that he's touching you.

"Goddess," she breathed, barely aware she was speaking. "You are so beautiful."

Kurt literally froze mid-action, which happened to be picking his uniform up off the floor with his dextrous toes. He finished the motion awkwardly and then looked indecisive about what should happen next.

"Did I say something wrong?"

"No, I…" he stared helplessly at the bundle of clothes in his hands.

Ororo was almost angry as she sat up naked in the bed. "You can't be serious, Kurt. Where was this insecurity two hours ago?"

Kurt sighed. "It's not that. I just…"

He filled the pause into which he'd trailed off by walking back over to the bed. He sat down on the bed's edge in that elegant way he always had, the result of his perpetual need to arrange his tail before landing.

"I'm sorry," he began again, earnestly and wearily. "I'm not… I mean, I'm not a fool. I know that women—some women, anyway—find me attractive, but it's still difficult to… With most people I've still had to fight against the opposite perception, so that it's hard to know sometimes what people mean, and I get… I suppose it just makes me wonder: what can it possibly mean to be beautiful when people seem to have such conflicting views of it?"

He was looking at her as he finished, and Ororo could tell that although his question was largely rhetorical, there was also some part of him pleading for a legitimate answer. She ran her hand over the curve of his shoulder, up the back of his neck.

"Are you ashamed of who you are?"

"You know I'm not. But the fact remains that when I do appear in public as myself, it always causes problems. Though it has changed in recent years. These days, it seems that for every two people that want me dead there will be one woman—or one person—handing me a phone number."

"Do you ever call any of those numbers?"

"Of course not. You don't… Are you joking?"

"A little."

"Okay, okay, I know. But it's still strange for me. Growing up I was never tortured by self-hatred but I also could never be blind to the effect my appearance had on most people—women certainly included. But as I have been going out more often without my inducer I've realized that I also tend to get certain reactions from women because of my body that are not… Of course I want a woman to enjoy me that way but not… But not just for…" he trailed off, frustrated and, she thought, a little embarrassed.

"Do you trust me, Kurt?"

"Of course."

"Then you should know that I love your body because it belongs to you."

Kurt did not miss the hint of anger that had returned to her voice. He reached for her, his golden eyes pleading an apology as he seized her cheek in his one-of-a-kind hand.

"Oh Ororo, I do, of course I do. I would never be here otherwise. I never meant to suggest… I'm so sorry."

He kissed her, slowly and deeply, tugging lovingly at her bottom lip as he released her.

"I would like to think the things I let you do to this body short hours ago would prove how much I trust you," he joked, trying to soften the mood.

Ororo smiled despite herself, raising a coy eyebrow. "Are you sure that shouldn't be the other way around?"

"I don't know," he grinned, springing up from the bed and finally returning to the business of pulling on his uniform, tail slipping effortlessly into the hole at the seat of his pants. "Maybe we can try it that way when I get back."

He dissolved into pink smoke just in time to avoid the isolated gust of frozen air she hurled in his direction.