Chapter 13: Woops 2!
SM owns all things Twilight. *pouts* I just pitifully remake her characters.
A/N: I have a number of chapters written and I plan to post regularly. Even twice a week if I can get them read over and edited on my own. I have several things in my head and I want to finish this story. This chapter is not beta'd so I accept responsibility for any and all mistakes.
Summary: Jake and Ness get heated. Similar to the last chapter only Jake's perception of what happened.
Oh, thanks to all of my readers that have sent reviews and PMs to me about this story. I've seen every review and I appreciate every single one. You're the reason I'm going forward. Oh, to my anonymous reviewers… you've left such nice words. Thank you so much for taking the time to leave an encouraging word. Love you all.
Now, read… and don't forget to leave me a few words in a review. Mwah!
((((( Jacob's POV)))))
My feelings were so hurt when I walked up on Nessie about to kiss Brody. I felt like my heart had broken into a million pieces, and were finishing the job by stabbing me over and over in my chest. After Nessie ran out to explain to me, finally, I knew what I saw, and there was nothing that she could say to me. At the very minimum, she liked him. The very thought of that sickened me. I'd left her just for her to develop feelings for another man and yet I blamed her for doing so.
I'm such a dumb ass.
When I made it to my cottage, Bella and Edward showed up shortly after and asked me to come with them. I had no idea what was wrong, but by the look on their faces, I knew that all hell was about to break loose.
When we got to the clearing, I saw Nessie standing next to Brody.
Shit!
If I would've known that was where I was going, I would've stayed home. I stopped across from them, right next to Bella. I never looked directly at Nessie.
When Edward began talking, I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't allow him by her another moment. She's mine and I would fight for her love. When I walked next to her, Brody got the point and moved over.
When everything was revealed, I was in utter shock. I was like… what the hell is going on here? Did I miss something? In the end, Nessie forgave him but mentioned they could probably not be friends anymore. All the better for me. Besides, I would hate to have to hurt the little shit for messing with my girl.
Our walk home was intense. I fucked up again. I totally mistook the night's events and ran the first chance I got.
What the hell is wrong with me?
I wanted to find something to do for her very special. I owed her that. I really should've thrown myself down at her feet and begged her to forgive me again. As I was about to stop and do just that, she broke the silence.
"Jake, I love you," she said looking up at me with those beautiful brown eyes. I brushed the back of my finger across her chin. The warmth of our skin touching and the passion that we both felt sent currents around us… through us. I leaned in to kiss her but stopped. I wondered if she even wanted me to touch her. She met me the rest of the way, letting me know that she wanted it just as much as I did.
The kiss was different – not that it didn't warm me all over, but it made me feel secure. It was like she was telling me that she loved me and would always be mine, regardless. I never took myself, in all my years, to be a jealous man… not even with Bella. My sudden change in attitude was unsettling, even for me. I felt like my whole world revolved around this one little tiny, beautiful person, and she could do with me as she pleased.
It's pretty much hopeless that I'll ever not let her, eventually, do as she pleases. I'm such a wimp for her. The kiss ended way too quickly. I could've slept in that same position with her smell that close to me, her tongue in my mouth, and her hands placed securely on my chest.
When we got to the house, I realized that earlier, when I arrived home after finding Brody and Nessie, that I'd found Nessie's letters to me. I was actually very embarrassed that I'd read them after seeing them. Maybe they were just journal entries and not actual letters to me. It made me uneasy. I knew that if she found out what I'd done, she'd be furious, but I wouldn't lie to her or hide it. I'd tell her and deal with her wrath.
I washed dishes, changed my bed, took a shower, swept… what ever I could do to avoid the impending conversation. She acted like she was watching television but I knew that it was only a matter of time before she confronted me. She came to the bedroom to talk.
"Jake, what's up? What's wrong? Do you want me to leave?"
"No, Nessie, of course not."
Shit...what the Hell am I supposed to say to her?
"Well, what is it? I won't try anything with you, I promise. You were right. I need to calm down."
"It's nothing Nessie..." Except the fact that I betrayed your trust. She got really pissed with me.
"Jacob Black, don't you start this bullshit! I asked you a question and I expect an answer right damn now! And don't you lie to me! I've known you all my life. I know when something's wrong."
I lowered my eyes to the floor, afraid to face her. "Ness..." I walked over to my nightstand and pulled out the letters that she wrote. She looked at me unphased then shrugged her shoulders. "Ness, you're not mad that I read this?"
"Of course not...they were addressed to you, weren't they? I slept in your room, in your bed, with your pillow dressed like you every night. I would crawl out my window at night to come here. I had to be near you in any way I could. I hope you don't mind."
"Ness...your notes broke my heart. I'm so sorry that I put you through that. You were in so much pain. It makes me nervous to be near you. I don't want to hurt you like that again. I just want to hold you and protect you from any pain, but it seems like it's me that hurt you most of all, and I don't know how to deal with it."
She helped me get a grip with myself and what I had done, then told me all about the Shay's and her family's history and everything I missed over the past weeks.
Honestly, my interest was centered around the relationship that she and Brody shared, and at what stage it currently was at. Inside, I was screaming, having to hear about his devotion to her, and knowing that he was her first kiss...not me...even though she didn't want him to...but still...he's her first kiss...the first man to put his lips to hers. Shit! No matter...I'll fight for her, and I'll win. I really a lot of making up to do.
She leaned over to kiss me before we finished talking. I will never get enough of her that close to me. To say that she's never had a boyfriend, or had sex, she knows exactly what she wants, and how she wants it. Staying away from her, sexually, will be the hardest thing that I'll have to do in this relationship.
When I left her earlier to talk to Edward, I apologized for causing the strain between him and Nessie. He understood that I never provoked her words, but he did ask me to take my time with her. He understands the love that we share, but he also asked me to hold off on sex, until Nessie grows up a little more.
Honestly, I agreed with him. She's still so ruled by her emotions, and I definitely don't want to push her into something that she's clearly not ready for. I know that I promised that I would stop making decisions for her, but this concerns me too. Besides...I don't know anything about sex myself. I would prefer to crawl my way into it, just jump off the cliff like Nessie would like me to do. She's very special, and deserves only the best from me. She deserves a chance to find her sexuality, and let me as well. That way, we never have to have any regrets.
About three of four kiss sessions later, Nessie's need became more and more aggressive. I tried to back off, knowing clearly where it was going, but again, she knew just how to keep me where she wanted me. Shit!
We fell asleep fully clothed on top of the sheets. She laid her head on my chest while I held her all night. That morning, when I looked down at her, and felt her warm body so close to me, it gave me an instant hard on. Shit! Nessie, please don't wake up. I closed my eyes and tried to think about the ocean...no...maybe imagine Billy and some random woman having sex...yeah...that should do it...euh! Yuck! I smiled at the thought. It seemed to be working. It wasn't hurting anymore behind my jeans. Then she messed it all up. She adjusted herself, throwing her knee over my hip. "Uh uh...Don't do that."
"Why? Did I hurt you? I was just trying to snuggle closer."
I pushed her leg off my hip and sat up, and sat up, hoping she wouldn't get up too. Before I could run, she was next to me, looking in my lap. I know I must have blushed ten shades of red. She gasped, realizing what had just happened, never taking her eyes off my obvious bulge.
"Ness...you're not helping things...would you stop that?" I got up and headed toward to bathroom, trying to reposition it to relieve some of the discomfort, but it didn't work...fucking dick...I seemed to only be more aroused by touching it. I peed, hoping that it would lose its desire, but no go. I turned to the door, quietly locked it, and allowed myself a release. It wasn't hard, neither did it take long. I was so wound up just thinking about her in my bed that just the thought of her touching me sent me over the top, quickly. I let it go in my hands, washed them, then returned to Nessie.
Even though she didn't know what I had just done, I felt ashamed. I used her in my mind to get a release, and suddenly, it was so not cool of me to do that. Shit! "I'm sorry about that."
She giggled. "I don't know much about that, but I'm almost sure that it wasn't your fault." Shit...what's going on with me. As soon as she spoke, and pushed her eyes back down there, I hardened again. This girl is dangerous. How the Hell am I suppose to avoid her when every chance she gets alone with me, she makes me feel like this? "Jake, did I do that to you when I threw my leg over you?"
"Yes...yes you did. You rubbed over it when you threw your leg." I smiled. "Sorry."
We didn't say too much after that. What was I suppose to say, anyway? Oh, yeah, Nessie...I'm a total dick. I just jacked off to you in the bathroom, while I imagined you naked next to me. Yeah...that would go really well. She would probably pounce on me, letting me do just that. Shit! What the Hell am I going to do.
Thankfully, Bella came over later to cook up some breakfast. She had gotten into the routine of doing it for Nessie while I was gone. That was fine with me. Bella could cook her ass of anyway. From time to time, she would look over at me when Nessie was turned. I knew what her silent questions were, and I just shook my head. She understood. Nothing happened. What I should've told her was to talk to her daughter. Tell her to back off a little. Stop being so Damn sexy all the Damn time. Stop acting like an insatiable little Virgin. I chuckled at my own thoughts, gaining a frown from Bella. I just looked at her, shaking my head again. If she really knew her daughter. Huh.
When Bella left, Nessie and I were left to our quietness. The whole time that Bella was here, we never said a word to each other, she would just occasionally look at me and smile. I'm not sure what Bella thought about us, but I'm sure that I'll find out about it later. Hopefully, she'll speak to Nessie and not me. That would just be weird. Then again, if Nessie speaks her mind like I know her to do, that won't go very well either. Shit! We need to talk about that before we leave this house.
Nessie broke the silence by telling me that she was going to shower. I have to admit that it surprised the Hell out of me when she walked into my bedroom , opened a drawer, and pulled out underwear, and clothes out of my closet. She probably saw the dorky look I had. At first, it made me feel all mushy to think that she could actually be living here, then it gave me a major hard on. Thankfully, I was standing behind the sofa, where she couldn't see below my waist. Man! What's wrong with me. I'm the mature one in this relationship. I should be able to control my silly boyish hard-ons. Maybe it would be better if I think of her as my little Nessie. That little girl that I left just weeks ago. Yes, it's helping. Good bye Mr. Hardon. Hello Mr. Dignity.
Nessie broke my stupid inner rambling. "What? I told you I was living here." I just looked at her and walked out the room. Shit! Just hearing her say that hardened me instantly. See, I'm not just a hard up asshole, but when I looked at her hands, and a pair of thongs were hanging from her finger, my mind went to her being naked, slipping those on. Shit! This is definitely going to be bad...really bad.
I walked into the kitchen, and splashed my face with cold water, then walked outside to get some fresh air. My phone rang while I was out there, and it was Seth, telling me about Legend. He was so happy. When we finished the conversation, I went in to find myself some clothes to wear today.
When I walked in the room, there was Nessie, butt naked, bending down right in front of me, picking up her panties. I gasped. I froze in my place, trying to decide if I should turn and run, or run up to her, and give her everything she's been asking me for. I did neither. I just stood there like a dorky fool with my eyes wide and my mouth open. She was startled by my presence and dropped her towel. Holy shit! I screamed in my head. To make matters worse, she took out running. She definitely couldn't imagine how incredibly sexy she looked bouncing away from me butt naked. I smiled widely at the vision before me, hoping she didn't turn around and catch me enjoying this.
When she got to the bathroom, she slammed the door, and locked it. I could literally hear her heart racing out her chest, and her breathing was labored. I hope she's not embarrassed, or that she isn't completely beautiful naked. I took a deep breath and walked to the door, placing my face on the door.
"Ness, you alright? Ness...it's alright. You have a beautiful...um...body. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Ness, talk to me. I know I should've knocked first. I'm sorry."
I stood there for a while, begging her to say something to me, but she said nothing, so I just left to go into the living room, hoping that the absence of my presence would help her to calm down. "Shit!" I am really a dumb ass. I can officially dub myself 'Dumb Ass of the Century.'
About thirty minutes later, she finally came out. Immediately, my heart began racing. I'm not sure if it was because of what I just saw, or if I was afraid of how upset she would be once she finally spoke to me. I just sat there, very still, pointing my face toward the television.
I could hear her fumbling around in the kitchen, then she cleared her throat to get my attention. When I turned around, I immediately started apologizing.
"Ness, I'm really sorry. I would never...never do something like that on purpose. I..."
"Jake, look, why don't we just get this over with. If we plan on living here together, at least sometimes, we are bound to see things, so let's just get it over with so we don't ever have to feel like this again."
As soon as she finished speaking, she began unbuttoning her shirt. I took in a deep breath, held it, and my mouth fell open.
"Wait...what are you doing?" I just couldn't believe what she was doing. Was she trying to make me lose all of my resolve? I'm definitely not strong enough to stop this if she touches me. Oh, god, oh, god. My breathing quickly sped up, while I willed myself to calm the Hell down.
"I'm about to take all of my clothes off, and so are you, so next time this happens, I won't feel like I want to go jump in a bottomless abyss and let the monsters eat me alive."
I just couldn't believe what she was saying. She actually wants us to get naked on purpose, then do nothing. Huh, never happen. I began quickly shaking my head like an idiot. Shit! I couldn't possibly be looking sexy at all. Everything I'm doing makes me feel like a dweeb.
"Oh, yes you are." Oh, Hell no...did she just demand to me that I strip in front of her. If only she knew just what's on my mind this morning, she wouldn't be so pushy...wait...yes she would. She'd probably come over here and undress me herself.
She finished taking her clothes off...all of them. I guess she intended for it to not to be sensual – the way she undressed, but her every movement riddled perfection. She never gave thought to what she was doing, but still managed to look completely seductive. I'd love to see what she'd do if she meant to look seductive.
She immediately locked the front door and closed the curtains, then walked directly in front of the television, placing her hips on her hands. Shit! I should run, or turn my head, or something. This ain't right... right? Huh...
"Jake, take your clothes off. You only have to feel weird this one time. Every other time will be no big deal, trust me. This second time standing in front of you is much better than the first. Much better." Huh...weird is definitely not what I was thinking I felt like, but what ever. I agreed, but not after trying to convince her to back out of this. This will definitely end bad. I just sighed.
I took my clothes off as she asked, but left my boxers on. My dick was so hard that I was ashamed to show her what her nakedness did to me. I was suppose to be in better control than this. And now...I'm officially done. I am not going any further. This is far enough. Before I could lean down to pick up my clothes, Nessie broke my reverie.
"Come on Jake, throw your modesty out the door with the trash, because I know Damn well that you don't have anything to be embarrassed about. Take 'em off."
Shit! I just stood there, not wanting to look like a little pansy, afraid to let a girl see me naked, but knowing that that was exactly what I needed to do. Eventually, I did as she asked. What the Hell...I tried to warn her. I pulled my boxers down, and placed both my hands over my...um...dick. She actually stood there like she was waiting for me to move my hands...what the? I blushed at that very moment.
She began taking steps toward me to remove my hands.
"Nessie, stop. I mean it. Stop!"
"What ever, Jake, remove your hand then." What is wrong with this girl? Don't she already see what's going on with me. Don't she understand that I'm trying to do the right thing here? Or does she not care? Frankly, I was tired of her games, so I showed her to get her to drop the issue. I did like she did, placing my hands on my hips.
When she looked down at it, she seemed genuinely surprised. I knew that she had never seen one live and in color, but her expression was so colored that I was almost embarrassed. I didn't know if she thought it should've been larger or smaller. Well, there went my ego. Exit stage right. Shit! I hate this! Then, to make matters worse, she giggled. I immediately covered up again.
"No, Jake, I'm not laughing at you, I was laughing at this situation. We are standing here butt bone naked, and facing each other just to get rid of any quips that my come up later. You have to admit that it's funny." Huh, this was anything but funny, but I kept that shit to myself.
"Yes, I guess so...so what do we do now?"
"Can I touch you?"
"Nessie...I don't know. It could get real serious, way too quick."
"But Jake, remember, awkwardness, just do it once, and if you brush up against me later, it won't be so bad." Alright, you know what...if I didn't know better, I would think that she's trying to seduce me. I think she knows exactly what she'd doing. The little vixen.
She stopped right in front of me and paused. Inside, I rejoiced. I just knew that she was having second thoughts about this whole thing, and I could put my clothes back on. Huh...that thought lasted only a moment.
"Jake, we'll just hug, I guess. That should be easy enough."
Shit! This is really going to happen! Feet! Where are you! Move! Now! Shit! What's wrong with me? Oh, my god...Oh, my...Woahhhh...when she touched me, my body warmed instantly, and my Dick hardened harder...if that was even possible.
All I could think about was the warmth of her body against me, her sweet, lilac smell, and the feeling of her warm breath against my chest. I tried to calm my reaction by listening to her heartbeat, but hers had become so erratic that that didn't help either. Oh, Shit! I want her more than I've ever wanted anything in my life. And, here she is, willing, ready.
Out of nowhere, another smell hit my nose. Arousal...Shit! Her arousal. My nose twitched, savoring the smell, committing it to memory.
I couldn't take it anymore. I wrapped my arms around her, grazing every part of her from her shoulders to her waist, and around her back to her Ass.
When she looked up at me with those emerald green eyes, there was no question as to what she wanted. It was the same thing I wanted right now...more...I leaned in to kiss her. Sirens were going off loudly in my head telling me not to do it. Not to take it there, but I was way past reason at this point. Instead, I pulled her closer, tighter. The kiss was so much more than I've ever experienced. It woke up feelings in me that I've never felt before, let alone wanted to act on. I hardened at the thought of possibly doing this.
What she did next, floored me. She jumped into may arms, straddling my hips, fiercely kissing me. To make things worse, he repositioned herself right above the head of my dick. I could feel her wetness seeping onto me. My breathing was erratic, and it took everything I had not to push forward. To help with my resolve, I placed my hands under her ass, and firmly held her there.
As if all of this wasn't enough, she began twirling her ass around, causing her wet Pussy to move across my head. Shit! It felt so good. Her pussy was so warm and wet, and so inviting, but I held my position with her, not letting her drop down any further. Her small movements on top of me seemed great in comparison to what she was actually doing.
I broke the kiss and began giving her open mouth kisses along her jaw line, her earlobe and her neck. It seemed to light a brighter fire within her. She began moaning and calling my name. Not the way that she usually says Jake, but breathy, needy, sexy. It was like she was begging for more of what ever I was willing to give to her. I stuck my tongue in her ear, and everything changed. Her squirming became erratic above the head of my dick, and her whole body began tightening. She looked so Damn sexy, allowing herself to be so free with me like this. She will definitely be a hand full when we do finally make love.
Her moans became louder, and her cries echoed across the cottage. I was so Damn turned on listening to her. I probably moaned with her. The feeling at the tip of my dick was overwhelming. When she tightened again, her body started bucking around me. I knew what was happening. My little vixen was having an orgasm. Shit! Look at this!
"That's right, Renesmee...come for me...give it all to me, baby."
Her movements quickened at my words, and I lost grip of her, causing the head of my dick to enter her. Shit! My eyes bucked open. The warmth that I felt with that little movement made me want to keep pushing, to feel more. I wanted more...much more. Fuck! Jacob, pull it together...You stupid Motherfucker. I pulled out of her and placed her back on her feet.
She actually looked disappointed that I did that. She couldn't actually think that I would have sex with her like this? Could she? No matter. It's over now.
I stood there with my eyes closed, willing my body to calm down. But how could I? He smell of her lust was overwhelming. It made me want to touch her there, and smooth her all over my fingers, even to taste it. I wonder if she tastes as good as she smells. Shit! Shut that Shit up! I can't do that.
"Jake..."
"Yes, baby...Do you want to know what just happened?" She nodded. "Ness, you just had an orgasm. Do you know what that is?"
"Jake...of course I do." She whined, then blushed.
"Well, how do you feel? I mean...are you alright with what just happened?"
"Of course. Jake, I want to give you everything I have. I want you comfortable with me, loving me as freely as you wish." I took her back to the bed.
"Ness, how are we going to make it another day, rather than another year or two. That was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I want you so bad that my body aches, denying myself. And your smell...shit, girl, it was driving me crazy. I just wanted to touch it with my hands, my mouth, my face. But Ness, I didn't mean to enter you. You were so close, and when your orgasm came down, you slipped from my hands. I'm so sorry about that. But, I didn't fully enter you, so I didn't break your hymen. I'm so sorry, baby. I shouldn't have had you so close like that."
We talked for a while about what just happened, and how we should handle this in the future. Well, I did. She just looked a little pissed at my blatant denial of sex right now.
"Fine, Jake." She said, going to the bathroom. "Oh, Jake, just know that I, as of this moment, do not sleep with clothes anymore, nor do I shower alone." She left the room, and I heard the shower start. "I'm entering the shower Jacob. Don't keep me waiting."
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