Beep. Beep.

My fingers trailed over the surface of my pillow, searching over it's stuffed front until they reached it's edge.

Beep. Beep.

I groaned at the sound my phone made, it's powerful ring whipping at my ears. The sound echoed through my quiet room and sounded out loud and clear - causing my head to ache. I huffed and pulled at the corners of my pillow in annoyance, slamming it down over my head to try and block out the sound.

It took me a moment but after a moment of trying to regain the silent sleep I had just been awoken from I shot up in my bed and leaped for my phone. My mind was clouded before from sleep and I had almost forgotten that getting a phone call right now was very important. Especially if it was from . .

My eyes glanced down at the lit screen as I grabbed the phone in my hands. Yup, it was her. Santana's name starred boldly back at me on the screen and I took a deep breath to ready myself before answering.

"Hello?" I asked quitely, my voice sounding out in a slight ponticello due to just waking up. I shook my head and cleared my throat, trying to keep the grainy tone from returning the next time I spoke.

But she was off already, Santana spoke back quickly into the phone her voice tremulous and shaking. "Brittany? Thank God! I have been trying to call you for the past hour! I texted you at least a million times. Is everything okay?! I-"

"No, no." I cut her off. "Everything's . . fine." I frowned into the phone, my memory of earlier in the choir room coming back into my mind. I was fine, physically. Emotionally was another story.

Santana caught on to the falter in my voice, "Britt, please tell me." she sighed.

I fell silent, refusing to answer for a moment. I didn't even know where to start to be honest. What do I say? Hi, San. I know we've broken up and that I'm with Sam now but I found out about you sleeping with Quinn and I just want you to know that I'm jealous.
That wasn't fair to her. I wasn't even sure if I should be upset about this.

"Hello, Brittany?" She said slowly, but not in a mean way. Her voice was soft and curious; she was checking to see if I was all right.

I sighed, leaning back onto my bed. "Sorry. Yeah, I just was thinking."

"About what?" She pried, hinting at me to continue.

I shook my head and took in a deep breath. "Santana, I found out about you and Quinn today." The words came out too fast and my voice was too shrill. I didn't want to be upset but I still had this intense weight in my chest that just made me want to cry.

I could hear Santana make a small gasp on the other line, "Oh." She whispered.

"Yeah." I whispered back, calmer this time. But still too tense. I tried to regain my composure. I knew it wasn't fair for me to take this out on Santana. Just because I couldn't control my emotions doesn't mean I need to be mean to her. She was still my friend.

After a moment she sighed and spoke again, "Brittany, it didn't mean anything." She explained. "We were drunk and it was just innocent fun." Her voice was soft and dulcet she wasn't trying to make excuses. She was being honest and I believed her.

"But, Quinn-" I sighed, clutching at the sheets of my bed in annoyance. I shook my head, imediately apologizing for the tone of my voice.

Santana ignored it and kept her tone calm. "Is just a friend." She finished my sentence.

I lay there for a moment, taking deep breaths before talking again. "Okay." I smiled a tad, beginning to sit up in my bed again. "I believe you."

Santana let out a small relieved bundle of laughter on the other line. "Good." I could hear her smile in her voice, it made my smile grow wider.

"So, how's Glee club going?" Santana continued. It had been a while since we talked last, she was trying to catch up I guess.

I shrugged, but still smiled. "It's going well. We're all starting to really learn to work together now." I was happy to tell her about Glee, in fact I wish I had more to tell her. But truth is nothing really interesting has been happening lately.

"That's great, Britt." She made my nonchalant news seem like it was much more extravagant. I laughed at the enthusiasm in her reply.

"Yeah. But what about you? How's New York?" I got out of my bed as I talked and headed towards the kitchen.

"It's 'ight." She murmured, I could imagine her rolling her eyes as she talked. "Gay Berry and Lady Hummel are a little hard to get used to." She laughed a tad. "But the city is . . beautiful, Britt. You have to come up here and visit sometime."

I smiled again and I could tell that she was smiling too. I liked the idea of going to visit Santana in New York. I remembered when the Glee club went last year for Nationals, it was lovely. But imagining being there with Santana for a longer period of time made butterflies in my stomach begin to flutter.

I grabbed a bowl and made myself some ice cream and then sat down in the living room eating it while we talked. We caught up on what had been going on over the past couple of weeks. It seemed like forever since we had actually sat down and talked to one another. We got to see each other at Mr. Shue's wedding but other than a few passing glances and a small wave to each other in the church we never really interacted I came to realize how much I had actually begun to miss Santana. She was so easy to talk to, like breathing. We never ran out of topics and there were never any awkward silences. We laughed and smiled into the phone as we talked and it was almost like I was right there with her, rather than hundreds of miles away.

My eyes glanced down at the now empty bowl of Tutti Frutti ice cream and I sighed slowly. My voice rang out slow and quietly interrupting Santana while she talked about this new bar downtown she planned on applying for a job at. It was one of those Coyote Ugly spin-off bars, she joked about how working there would be fun; that is if it was anything like how the movie portrayed it.

"Santana, I still love you." I spit out in a hushed whisper. Her sentence stumbled, cutting to an end as she registered my words.

She was quiet for a moment. "What?" She finally whispered back, but I knew she had heard me the first time.

"I love you, Santana. I love you and I miss you. I don't want to be without you, I don't want to be with Sam. To don't want to walk around every day and hold his hand and pretend that it's really you beside me. I don't want to stay in Lima while you are almost half-way across the country in New York. I want you to be happy and I want you to get to live your life to the fullest and I want you to meet great people who are as talented and as big of a star as you are. Which is why I told you to go to New York in the first place. I want you to be happy. But I want to be apart of what makes you happy. I want to be there for you to come home to, I want to be with you and only you. . . " Slowly, a few tears began to run down my cheek. "I love you." I said again, softly. Santana was quiet on the other line and I sat, waiting for her to reply.

I could hear her breathing hitch and I knew she had begun to cry as well. "I love you, too." She whispered through broken tears.