Chapter 14: New Commitments

((((( Jacob's POV)))))

I don't own anything Twilight. The poem in the chapter is called Passion Uncontrolled by ifiwerepig from .com

From Chapter 13

"Fine, Jake." She said, going to the bathroom. "Oh, Jake, just know that I, as of this moment, do not sleep with clothes anymore, nor do I shower alone." She left the room, and I heard the shower start. "I'm entering the shower Jacob. Don't keep me waiting."

Chapter 14

Shit, shit, shit! Did she just hear anything that I just said?

My body ached bad as I made an attempt to crawl from the bed.

Shit! Jacob, no sex. No sex. No sex! Oh, my God! I feel like I'm freaking out. Edward is going to fucking kill me. Shit! Shit! Shit!

"Jaaake!" Nessie called very sweetly. "I'm waiting for you..."

I made my way to the bathroom. Small beads of sweat began to form on my forehead and my back. I felt my hand quiver and my dick twitch. My whole body was going in a hundred different directions, making me dizzy. I sat on the edge of the tub, trying to find a way to get my dumb ass out of that situation unscathed.

At first, I thought about just denying her the shower with me, which would never work, so I decided to do the shower, but set some rules or else...

When I stepped into the warm shower, Nessie looked up at me with the most delicious grin. For a moment, I lost my resolve as I leaned down to her and kissed her lips. In just moments, the kiss deepened, and she was in my arms again.

Shit! This girl's salacious attitude makes it very hard for me to do the "right thing" by her.

I mean, sure, we could do it easily and it would be the greatest feeling in the world, but would it be right?

Fuck!

I put her down and broke the kiss and all contact. I turned my back to her, grabbed the soap, and began bathing myself. I knew she was pissed. I could feel her stare cutting me in two from behind me, but she controlled her tongue. She didn't say a word but she did something much worse.

She placed her little hands around my waist and laid her head on my back. That sounds innocent enough, right? The little shit placed the palm of her hand on my chest. My dick immediately stood at attention.

She was showing me her thoughts of the two of us on the bed, naked, making love, over and over. She was screaming my name and moaning to the music we were making together. I felt her feelings as we continued the act. They were those of extreme love, satisfaction, happiness. She showed me many positions and ways that she wanted sex. She ended it with both of us blissed out after many hard orgasms.

When she removed her hand, I realized that my breathing and heart rate had quickened and my every thought was full of what she'd just showed me. So, needless to say, when she turned me around, I was just putty in her hands.

"Jake… make love to me. Please?" She pulled my shoulders down to her and kissed me deeply. She traveled her hand down to my dick and wrapped her small hand around it. When she began stroking it, I knew I was too far gone. I wanted her just as bad as she wanted me and I wasn't fighting it any more. I broke her grip and lifted her around my hips. I turned the tub off, stepped out the shower, and grabbed my towel to dry her off a little before putting her in the bed.

When I laid her on her back on the bed, I finished drying her off. She lay there with her legs wide open to me, leaving nothing hidden. I could smell her lust as I finished drying between her legs.

She scooted up toward the headboard and stretched her arms out to me. When I lay next to her, she placed her hands on my face, replaying the vision from earlier, but adding extra scenes.

Her imagination getting more colorful by the moment. I crawled on top of her, bracing myself with my forearm and began doing just as she imagined. I kissed her, touched every inch of her body, sucked on her neck, her breasts, and began my decent to her special parts. My fingers traveled through her soft curls, finding my treasure of wetness between her soft folds.

"Jake, you did that to me. I love you. Make me yours. Make love to me, Jake." I returned her request with another deepened, passionate kiss that had me coming up for breath far too soon. I couldn't wait any longer. I positioned myself between her legs while sucking one of her nipples then pulled away, looking into her eyes.

"Are you sure? You can change your mind," I said to her, hoping that she had the will to stop me because my resolve was gone.

She still had her hand on my face, successfully deflating my senses and inhibiting my right mind. I wanted it all – every bit that she was showing me. She ignored me but showed me a picture of me entering her for the first time. She wrapped her arms around my neck and smiled through hooded eyes. I positioned the head of my dick at her entrance and she held on tighter but never removed her hand from my face. As I began to push, someone knocked on the door.

"Fuck."

I jumped up, pulled her hand from my face and stood both of us up. I was freaking, running around putting on clothes, washing my hands, spraying air freshener. She never moved from where I placed her on her feet. "Ness, what are you doing?" I whispered. "Get dressed."

She crossed her arms in front of her. "No. Jake, this is ridiculous. Who cares who's there? Just tell them to come back later. In fact, I'll do it."

Ness walked to the door but before she could open it, I pulled her back into the bedroom and put one of my big t-shirts on her. "Ness, please, stay in here. Please."

She just huffed and flopped back onto the bed.

It was Alice.

Shit!

I opened the door. "Hi, Alice, what's up?" I half smiled. Nervousness was evident in my voice.

"Jake, can I come in?"

"Sure, come on." I closed the door behind her and turned to her.

"Where's Nessie?"

"In the bedroom. Do you need her?"

"No, I came for you. Jake, I know what just almost happened," she whispered. "I came to help you." She smiled. I released a gush of air that I had been holding unknowingly, and mouthed a quick thank you. I tried to smile, but I'm sure it came out more weird and jittery. "Nessie! Come on, I need some help today. I haven't shopped in like two weeks and I'm jonesing! Let's go!" She smiled and looked at me. I silently thanked her again.

Nessie came out in the t-shirt that I put on her.

Shit! Does she have any shame? Hell no! That's the answer. Shit!

"Aunt Ali, I'd love to go shopping with you, but not right now. I was just about to… do something. Can we go later this afternoon?"

"No, Nessie, there's a sale that's only until two o'clock, and I need time to properly sift through everything." She began to bounce, genuinely becoming excited. "Ah, come on Nessie. No one wants to come. Please?"

"Aunt Ali, can we leave about ten-thirty? All I need is about two hours. It's really important what I was about to… um… do."

"Nessie, go ahead. It's fine. We'll talk later," I interrupted.

Boy, I tell you, if looks could kill I'd be dead meat on a fork. I didn't even know that beautiful little face could get so contorted. She was pissed.

"Jacob, can I speak to you in private?"

"Ness, no need, Alice can hear everything, anyway." I rebutted, hoping she would lay off.

"Alright, fine, we'll talk right here, right now. Jacob..."

"Fine, Fine… in the room." I turned to look at Alice, pleading for help. We walked in and closed the door behind us. She immediately pulled me to the bed, straddling me.

"Jake..." She placed her hand on my face. My dick twitched at the images quickly passing before my eyes. This time, she showed me us just minutes ago then added me taking her virginity. I shook at the thought of what I was about to do. Her vision became more detailed, more vivid, then she kissed me.

All I know is the next thing I knew, my pants and underwear were off and her shirt was off. She pulled me on top of her, pushing her feelings of love into my head. I pulled back, removing her hand from my face. "But..."

"Ness! No. No. No. Not like this. Not today. Baby, there's no rush. We have forever, right?"

She pushed me off her, hard. "Fuck a forever, Jacob. I have needs today. I don't understand why you don't want me," she screamed at me then began crying and ran into the bathroom. I didn't know what to do so I walked into the kitchen to get her something to drink.

Alice took the drink from me and told me to go to the main house. She would deal with Nessie. I looked at her with question, but I left anyway. We seriously needed some separation.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

The rest of the day passed rather quickly. I constantly reminded myself about not slipping with my thoughts. Thank God that Edward and Bella was hunting because I definitely slipped more then a few times.

The same vision came to me… Nessie lying on the bed before me with her legs wide open. Nessie lying under me looking all sexy with her eyes full of desire for me. Nessie's face when she screamed my name while we made love.

Shit! This just can't turn out good. I wonder if Edward will let Nessie marry me before she makes eighteen? Other than that, I know I won't be able to hold her off long.

I'm a fucking man after all, right? He couldn't possibly expect me to see her and go through that over and over, smelling her sweet pussy begging for me and do nothing? Well, yes, he would, and honestly, I would too. I don't want to have sex with her before we get married or at least engaged. Well, if I know Edward, that'll never happen.

I'm so fucked!

While I was pondering these things in my head and looking at television at the Cullen mansion, Edward walked up behind me. He scared the shit out of me. I jumped off the sofa and faced him.

Please don't kill me, please don't kill me.

I chanted in my head. The look on Edward's face was between comical and really, really pissed. I backed up. "Edward, I..." Before I could say another word, in came Nessie and Alice. My saviors. Nessie looked at me angrily and without a word, walked upstairs to Alice's room.

Shit!

Edward looked over at me, undetermined how he wanted to handle me. Bella walked in. "Jacob..." He said through clenched teeth. "Come take a walk with me, please."

Oh great, now he can kill me deep in the woods for no one to find me. I'm so fucked.

I got up and slowly walked out the front door behind him. He looked back at me. "Jacob, stop with the silly inner ramblings. I'm not going to hurt you." With that, some of the tension in my shoulders gave way and I walked with him to the tree covering then ran with him a couple of miles more. I guess the sensitivity of the subject didn't need to be discussed openly for all ears to hear. Thank God.

Finally, we stopped. It was a partial clearing designed by nature. It was beautiful but small, and there were two large boulders placed in the shade for seating. We sat, and I looked at him, afraid to say a word.

"Jacob, you would actually consider those things you were thinking? Or did you already do them?" He seemed to be bracing himself for impact, obviously not wanting the answer to his own questions, but needing them, none the less.

"Edward, I..." I had no words for him. I was ashamed of what I almost did to his daughter and afraid of his wrath.

"Jacob, relax. I understand. I know my daughter and I also know her persistence when she wants something bad enough. She definitely didn't steal it. She's just like her mother." He looked off in the distance, obviously thinking on a memory and smiled, partially. "But, Jacob, that still doesn't excuse the wrongness of it. She's still very young and needs to mature more before taking such a serious step forward, don't you think?"

"Totally."

"Well, what are we going to do?"

"We?"

"Yes. Jacob, I know you're a man and I also know how hard it is to deny her, especially if she's as persistent as you were recalling in your memory."

"I don't know what to say. I love her with all my heart and I want to do the right thing by her but I just don't know how long I can last, honestly. I know it's really horrible of me but it's true. Alice saved me today. She knew I, in my heart, didn't want to do that, but we were way past changing our minds by that point. Nessie knew, somehow, just what to do to me. How to wrap me so tightly that I couldn't move or choose."

"Jacob, you know you'll need to rethink the personal, alone time you spend with her. She won't be giving up anytime soon. I'll have her mother speak to her, but you know how that'll go. Maybe she could move back to our cottage." I took in a deep breath and let it out quickly. Just him saying that thoroughly frustrated me. I definitely wanted her near me at all times but I knew it wasn't practical.

"I know. She's going to be so pissed."

"Well, maybe, if she promises to behave and play fair, she could sleep in your spare bedroom sometimes. I don't know. There's no easy answer. Jacob, all I ask is for you to allow her to grow up a little more. There is a lot to consider. Especially her getting pregnant, and neither of you are ready for that, either. When you're ready, regardless to when, come talk to me. I won't kill you, I promise, but you need to understand the ways to avoid certain things during sex. If you're not comfortable with me then go to Emmett… well, no… Jasper or Carlisle would be better. Alright?"

"Thank you, Edward. If I've never told you how much I value our relationship, I just want you to know that I do and I'll do right by your daughter. I promise."

Edward looked at me with his crooked grin. "Jacob, I value our relationship too. You're like a son to me. I missed you when you were gone. Don't do that again, alright?"

"I won't and sorry for the fight. That was stupid of me."

He smiled. "Yes. Yes it was, but we're family. Sometimes family fights but in the end we're still family. We still love each other."

We walked back to the main house, trying to figure out just how to handle Nessie. Honestly, regardless to what we say or do, she will have a fit and probably will not be talking to me for a while. That's fine for now. Distance may be what we need.

When we got to the house, Nessie, Bella and Alice were on the sofa. Alice smiled at me, already knowing what just happened between Edward and me. Bella looked confused and Nessie looked really pissed.

Shit! Edward, she's already pissed. Maybe we should wait. I looked over at him. He shook his head. Shit, shit, shit. Well, let's get this over with.

"Hello all, where's everyone?" I asked.

"They've all gone to hunt. They'll be back later," Bella replied.

Edward and I sat in front of the ladies. Nessie never removed her eyes from mine. If eyes could speak, hers were saying... "You motherfucker! You better not have gotten my dad involved in this. This is my fucking life and my fucking body!" Well, something like that, but I promise that I'm not far off. I'll be sure to ask her some other day when she's happy with me again. Huh.

Gosh, even pissed, she's beautiful.

Bella looked over at Renesmee when she saw my facial expression change. "Renesmee, what's wrong?"

"Bella, relax, Jacob and Renesmee are having… um… sexual tension, and we need to talk about it." Edward stated matter-of-factly.

"No! No we don't need to do anything like that! I am not some child that needs to talk about my sex life with my parents and my aunt. Jacob, if you don't want me then fine. This subject is no longer up for discussion!" She stormed out the room, slamming the back door behind her, successfully breaking the glass to the door and the window next to it. She then took out running toward Edward and Bella's cottage.

Everyone looked at me. I stood up, ready to go behind her. "Jacob..." Alice started. "Give her a second. We talked already and she understands that she's not ready for that but she still wants it. She wants you."

"Alice, I don't understand. She has me. All of me. She always has."

"No, Jake, she thought she had lost you forever just days ago. She wants to solidify the relationship. She wants to prove to you that she can be the woman that you need her to be."

"Why on earth is she thinking like that? I've never made her feel like she wasn't already? Have I?"

"No. You've done the exact opposite. You've loved her through all her shit all these years, and kept her feeling loved, but she feels like all she can give to you is herself. She understands that bond between a man and a woman after sex and she wants that. She never wants to feel separated from you again… in any way." I ran my hands through my hair while feeling my heart speed up three times its normal pace. "It's no easy fix to be honest with you. She knows exactly what she wants."

I looked over at Bella. Her mouth was wide open and her eyes straining in their sockets. She looked at Edward. He nodded his head. "Remember?"

"Oh, Jake, you poor thing." She started laughing. "Go talk to her."

I turned to look at Edward. "Would you be opposed to me marrying your daughter?"

"To satisfy both your sexual urges? Absolutely. Jacob, you don't get married for those reasons."

"I knew that. No harm in asking, right?" I smiled then took a deep, ragged breath. With that, I exited through the now broken door and headed to the cottage.

When I got there, Nessie was sitting on the back porch, watching the garden. She had her journal and pen in hand. She never acknowledged that I was standing there. I walked over to her and sat at her feet.

"Ness, look at me. Please?"

She continued writing but turned her chair so my face was at her back now. I just sat there with her for maybe fifteen minutes before she stopped writing. She ripped the page out, handed it to me, then walked into the house.

I was almost afraid to read the damn note, for fear of her anger, but I slowly opened it and steadied myself for the blow.

Jacob My Love,

Please try to understand me. All I want is to be close to you. I almost lost you before and I want to tie myself to you in every way humanly and inhumanly possible. My body craves for you just as my heart does. I can't imagine another moment spent on this earth without having you lying close to me, holding me, loving me.

If I've pushed too hard, I'm sorry, but I won't apologize for wanting you... for needing you. Please don't separate yourself from me or let my dad make unreasonable demands ultimately dictating our lives and our love.

I love you, and I have to be near you. Please understand.

Below is a poem of what I felt for you earlier, what I feel for you now, what I will feel for you later tonight, and what I will feel for you forever.

I named it "Passion Uncontrolled"

I see your face when I look into my dreams
I feel your skin when I touch silken seams
I smell your passion when I lay in bed
I hear your soothing voice inside my head

Your lips are soft and entice my kiss
Your tongue searches for the moist bliss
Our tongues intertwine with urgency of fire
Twirling and twisting feeding their desires

As I kiss your lips I see into your eyes
I see the love enveloped in those blue skies.
Erotic thoughts enter my wondering brain
I want this intensity forever sustained

Upon the bed we lay naked in the sheets
Caressing your body makes my body complete
Trying to hold back my release until it's time
Pleasuring you is the only thing on my mind

I want to please your body and soul
Inside and out and from head to toe
Ill touch you like you have never been touched
I'll make you scream with the sheets in your clutch

When my tongue reaches the place between your thighs
The sensation you feel it will be impossible to deny
Wave after wave rolling over your soul
Reaching down, reaching deep it's out of control

I want to know that you feel no shame
When you release and scream my name
A flood of pleasure washing over your skin
Ripples of shivers not knowing where to begin.

I want to feel your skin on mine
Your breath on my face chills up my spine
You press up against me as you slide on down
To take me in your mouth and you go to town

I can feel and stroke and caress your cock
My tongue dances to the music of Bach
I moan with pleasure as you're engorged with blood
Wanting to have you, to release your flood.

I arch my back and close my eyes
Holding back my orgasmic surprise
It feels so good I don't want to stop
I could suck you all night or until you pop

I want you to feel you inside me deep
I want you to make me feel real cheap
Make me fuck you like I've never done
Make me fuck you until you cum.

Put my ankles upon your shoulder
Scream, "Oh my God!" over and over
Hours of pleasure and moments of pain
Orgasms from Heaven driving us insane.

Collapsing with a sigh all covered in sweat
We hold each other close thankful we met
You know I'm in my prime
I'll go again in fifteen minutes time.

I love you, Renesmee

When I read the letter, then her poem, my heart was overwhelmed and tears escaped my eyes. I understood her feelings and her desire for us. We call her young and immature, but she knows exactly how she feels and what she wants. She knows how to explain perfectly to make you understand. How can I deny her anything, especially myself? I have to try. She deserves so much more.

I got up and went inside to face her. I found her on her bed, curled in a ball, crying her eyes out. "Ness..." I whispered. When I got to the edge of the bed where her back was to me, I slid under the covers and wrapped my arms around her. "Ness… I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I only want what's best for you. And I just don't think that taking your virginity before we get married is the best thing for you. Ness, please, try to understand. I don't know what to do. I want you too." With that admittance, she turned toward me, placing her hand on my face. I looked into her eyes. She sent me every emotion that she felt while writing the letter and the poem, then showed me us in the bed, repeating what I just told her. She went on to kissing me in her vision, then making slow, passionate love.

Of course, my dick got instantly hard so I removed her hand from my face and readjusted my lower area. "No, Ness, please, stop. I can't..."

"But Jake… you said you want me too. That's all that matters. Nothing else is relevant. I don't understand. If it's marriage you want, I'll agree to that too whenever you want." Her eyes were so full of passion and love and her beauty seeped even through the tear stained face. I passed my finger across her lower face, removing the tears, then kissing her face where they had been.

When I looked back into her eyes, something tightened in my stomach as I realized what she had just said. Did she just say that she wants to marry me? When ever I want? With that realization, my heart tightened, then released several times before I spoke. I felt dizzy.

"Renesmee Cullen, did you just say that you'd marry me?" She smiled, nodding her head. "But why so young?"

"Jake, I meant everything I said in my letter. I can't imagine ever losing you again, and I want to be tied to you. I'd marry you tonight if you'd have me. Don't you see? There's no me without you. No true meaning to my life. Everything that I desire in this life involves you, our love, our life, our children. I would give anything to have that today. If we're meant to be together then why wait? What are we waiting on? For one of us to change our minds?"

"Never, Ness. I just would like for you to experience more, meet people, go to school..."

"Jake..." She sat up, wiping her face again, tucking her hair behind her ears. "I can do all of that with you. I don't want to live in the house all day and night having sex and not have a life. I just want that life experienced with you."

I smiled at her in awe. She'd grown up so much. Definitely not the little girl that we are so used to seeing. She was now a beautiful young woman that knew what she wanted and was so damn sexy. Me and her father had totally misunderstood her. We definitely hadn't given her the credit she deserved to make her own decisions.

"Ness, I want that too, very much. I always have. I always imagined me saying these things to you – not you to me. I feel like such an ass." I took in a deep breath, rethinking our conversation. "Ness, you know your father would never let us get married right now, right?"

"Well, we'll just see about that. Jake, is that really what you want? Am I pressuring you to be with me? Because if I am, please don't do this?"

"Renesmee, I love you more than life itself. I always have. You know that. I've waited for many years to have you love me back. So, no... no pressure. I want this too... if not more. But I just don't see how we can pull this off. I won't marry you without your parents' approval."

"Don't worry about that Jake. So, again, are you asking me to marry you?"

"I don't have a ring. Don't you want that first?"

"Jake!"

"Alright, alright, yes. Renesmee Carlie Cullen, would you agree to be my wife. I promise to love you always and forever..."

While I was still speaking, she planted the warmest, sweetest kiss on me. Her tears began again, and the mixture of her normal taste mixed with her salty tears gave me a jolt of adrenaline. I jumped from the bed, grabbed her up, and swung her around.

"I love you. I love you." I chanted while swinging us around.

I don't think I'd ever been that happy. She giggled through my silliness. I didn't care. She wanted me and that's all that mattered. She could talk about me later.

When I finally settled down, I stood there with her in my arms, gazing into her eyes. The look on her face sent a jolt straight down to my dick, and my heartbeat immediately quickened. Looking at her with her eyes deeply hooded, all playfulness flew out the window. She wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me toward her lips. We ended up back on the bed with me on top of her. She wrapped her legs around me tightly as she slowly moved her hips across my hardened mass. Between the smell of arousal, the way she was looking at me, and the consequence of what we just agreed to, I wanted her.

I didn't want to deny us anymore. I needed us too.

I continued leaning on one of my forearms for support, and leaned in to kiss her. She wasn't as rough and demanding as before. She was relaxed, patient, hopeful. The moment was very sweet but the intensity deepened as time passed. I passed my other hand between us, finding my purchase – the hem of her shirt.

I slightly moved it up, desiring to feel her smooth skin against me. I did the same to my shirt and I was rewarded with a moan for my effort. We finally broke our kiss to finally breath so I began kissing her earlobe down to her neck, passing my hands everywhere I could reach.

For those moments, I forgot that anyone other than us existed. She made me feel so wanted, hell, even needed. No one in my life had ever expressed to me that I was that important to them and in those moments, I wanted to be all that she needed me to be for her.

When she began reaching for my belt, I stilled my actions, rolled to the side, pulled her in close, and looked at her in the eyes. "Ness, are you sure that you want to do this? If we continue, I won't have the will, nor ability to stop. I want you so fucking bad right now but I would really love to save this for our wedding night. But if you want me to continue then I will. It's getting really hard for me, Ness."

She pulled both her little hands from around my waist and placed them on my face. She looked into my eyes and paused.

"Jake, we can wait. You know I really want this right now, but your desires matter to me too, and I know how important it is to you to do this right. So… lets get out of this bed before I change my mind." She smiled through her last statement but it still rang true for us both.

God, I love this woman.

I know it's a strange place to stop but I'm tired y'all. I've posted two chapters this weekend, wrote two and now I'm trying to end a couple of these so I can go on to something else.

This story still has a number of chapters to go but "All I Ever Wanted needs to be finished. That'll be my priority over the next weeks.

I do have tons of chapters of this story already written but it's not proofed so I can't just put them up and I have no Beta so I'm having to look over this a few times.

Anywho, I have another really nasty O/S that I think you'll love. It's called:

Swingers: The Gifted Pen.

http :/ www . fanfiction. Net /s/7328727/1/Swingers_The_Gifted_Pen

It's really nasty and is new for me. I've gotten a good response from it. Let me know what you think.

REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW! THANKS ALL!