Chapter 20

Jet's heart sank at her words. Mai had admitted that she loved Zuko. He knew they were friends, but he had no idea she felt that way about him. And worse, Zuko was clearly in love with Toph. He felt bad for himself, but he felt worse for Mai.

"Oh," he heard himself say.

Mai looked into the fire for a moment, then back up at Jet, her eyes serious. "Several years ago, Zuko was in danger and I knew I could either help him or watch him die. But if I helped him, his sister would probably kill me. I had a choice to make." Then she sat back and sighed.

"It wasn't so much that I was in love with Zuko, even though I was. It was more that I got a picture of what I would become if I didn't help him. I didn't want to be the kind of person who could watch someone they loved die a horrible death when I could do something about it. If I hadn't helped him, I would have truly become a monster. Like Azula was. He was her brother and she was ready to kill him. I was her friend and she was ready to kill me."

Mai shivered a little at the memory. "Anyway, that was the moment I knew what I had to do. No matter what it meant for me, I had to help him—all of them. I think Ty Lee realized the same thing. We had to stand up against Azula and do what we knew was right."

"So what happened?" Jet asked curiously.

"Zuko, Sokka, and Suki got away, and Ty Lee and I got thrown into prison," she answered.

"That stinks," Jet responded sympathetically.

"Actually, it all worked out great," Mai replied with a smile. "I got three days in a private cell—which was heaven compared to spending all my time with Azula and Ty Lee, then once Azula left, my uncle sprang me."

At Jet's look of confusion, she added, "My uncle was the warden," in explanation.

"Meanwhile, Ty Lee got sent to the same prison as the Kyoshi Warriors where she met up with Suki's group and actually became a Kyoshi Warrior herself. She's on Kyoshi Island right now training a new group of girls. She loves it," Mai concluded.

"So Suki is a Kyoshi Warrior?" Jet asked, incredulously. "How in the world did Sokka ever manage to land a girl like that?"

"Got me," Mai answered with a casual wave of her hand. Then she thought for a moment. "It could have something to do with the fact that he risked his life to rescue her from prison. That would tend to make points with a girl."

Jet couldn't help but laugh. Then he leaned forward, resting on his knees, then back again. Then he turned to face her.

"So, you and Zuko," he began, then abruptly looked away from her, as if he didn't really want to hear her answer.

Mai was gratified that he was concerned about her current feelings for Zuko. She thought of dragging it out, playing him along a little, but decided that she was more mature than that and chose to be honest.

"Zuko and I dated for a while, but it just didn't work out between us. He has a tendency to take things too seriously," Mai offered. "I'm looking for a guy with a good sense of humor since I'm such a fun-loving kind of girl," she continued in a completely serious tone of voice.

Jet looked at her for a second, then burst into laughter. She gave him a smile in return then studied him out of the corner of her eye as he shook his head and poked at the fire, still laughing.

Jet was tall, taller than her by at least six inches. He was built strong but lean. She watched as he leaned back against the back of the bench Toph had created, stretching his long legs out in front of him and crossing them at the ankle. Still smiling, he fiddled with a twig he pulled from a firelog, rolling it in his fingers idly.

In the swamp, he'd seemed distracted, impulsive, a little dreamy at times. But here, he was all business, like he had his feet back on the ground. Which, she guessed, was a pretty accurate way to look at it. She was glad she'd gotten to see that other side of him because she figured that most of the time he was a pretty practical kind of guy.

As she watched him, she had to admit there was something about him that drew her to him. Maybe it was his ready laugh, maybe it was the economical way he moved—as if every action counted.

Maybe it was the storm that seemed to run under the surface, ready to break out at any second into action, laughter, anger, flirtation.

Maybe it was the fact that he had a sense of humor.

Maybe it was the fact that he was absolutely gorgeous.

Whatever it was, she felt like a mothfly drawn to a flame. She might get burned but she couldn't resist getting closer.

Back in the cave, Aang and Katara sat with Sokka and Suki, all four watching the two couples outside with interest.

"So, Aang, what do you think? Will he do it?" Sokka asked as he attempted to put a very sleepy, but very wired Toma to bed.

"I don't know," Aang replied. "I hope so. I think maybe Jet really was born to be king of Omashu." Then he looked around at the rest of the group. "But I won't say that out loud to him again," he concluded with a wry laugh.

Suki glanced out into the darkness. "Jet seems pretty resilient to me. It's Zuko I'm worried about. Is he really okay?" she asked.

Aang and Katara looked at each other. "I don't know that either," Aang ventured.

"Physically, he's exhausted," Katara added, "but he's on edge emotionally as well."

"Moody is what I'd call it," Sokka offered. "Forced bedrest has a tendency to do that to a person."

"I'd say," Suki laughed. "I remember when you caught the polar flu last year. You were so ill-tempered."

"No, I wasn't," Sokka retorted, "I was a very easygoing patient. You're the one who gets cranky when you're sick."

"No, she isn't," came Zutara's sweet voice. "Daddy, you're like a big walrusbear when you feel bad."

"You tell him, sweetheart," Suki laughed.

Sokka laughed despite his best effort to look stern, then announced, "Bedtime for little ones. Not another peep out of any of you."

Then as he and Suki gave their children goodnight kisses, Katara glanced over where Bumi was already sound asleep, his chubby arm curled around his stuffed sky bison. The adults quietly moved back out of the cave and rejoined Mai and Jet at the fire.

Within moments Zuko and Toph had also returned and the group gave conversation another try. This time, the topic of the kingship of Omashu was carefully avoided.

Toph kept a careful earthbending eye on Zuko and before long decided that he would be better off in bed. So she yawned. "I'm pooped. Sparky, are you ready to turn in?" she asked nonchalantly.

"Sure, if you are," he replied. Slowly, he stood and they walked into the cave together, Toph at his side, in case he needed help, but very discreetly. The last thing she wanted to project was the idea that Zuko needed her assistance—even though he did.

Back on Tuzai Island, Su-lin had told her to always be sure Zuko knew he had her respect. Most of the time that was very easy. Her husband was a thoughtful, confident, intelligent, and extremely capable person, and she loved him beyond reason and admired him for everything he was and everything he would be.

But right then, Toph knew just how close to the edge he was--so weak, so sick. It was hard not to baby him when he needed it so badly. But she knew she had to be especially careful with how she took care of him in front of the others.

Sometimes Zuko's pride was a very fragile thing. She didn't really understand all the reasons why, but a little persistent undercurrent of guilt and self-doubt seemed to run through him. Guilt over things he'd done or not done, shame over the crimes committed by his family, worry that he still didn't measure up to some mysterious standard. And no amount of reassurance from her or Iroh seemed to get through to him.

Jet's anger at the Fire Nation would eat at Zuko for days, Toph feared. She didn't blame Jet for being angry, even though she had snapped at him. She just wished her husband was better able to distance himself from the actions of his family members. She wished he didn't feel so compelled to carry the burden of their sins as well as his own.

They turned out of sight of the rest of the group into a little side alcove where she'd set up their bedding, and she finally gave in to putting her arm around him, for herself as much as to give him the support he truly needed.

"I'm okay," he said a little testily.

"I know you are, Sparky," she replied patiently.

Slowly, he managed to get himself ready for bed, but she could see that the effort wore him out and probably caused a massive headache, judging from the wrinkles in his brow and the tightness in his breathing.

He lay down facing away from her, but she curled up against him anyway. He was still cooler to the touch than she liked. Within a few moments, exhaustion had taken over and he was asleep.

She lay next to him, trying to warm him with her own body heat, running the ends of his hair through her fingertips.

After a while, Katara walked back to check on the children and Toph called her over with a whisper. After another quick check to be sure Zuko was still sleeping, Toph asked Katara to work a little healing on his headache.

Katara swirled the healing waters around his head, then with a little frown, sent them down his back as Toph moved away to give her room to work.

Within moments, Zuko's breathing became easier and his heartrate slowed to his true resting rate, and Toph knew her instincts had been right. He'd been hurting and didn't want her to know. Once again, she cursed that foolish pride of his, that need for self-sufficiency.

"Thank you," she mouthed to Katara as the waterbender rose, deftly bending her water back into the waterskin.

"Can I talk to you?" Katara whispered in return.

Toph nodded and slipped away from Zuko, pulling the blanket securely around his shoulders and tucking her pillow against him for warmth. Then she followed Katara back outside.

They moved a little distance away from the rest of the group and Katara said, "Toph, I want Aang to take a look at Zuko."

"Why?" Toph asked. A cool wind blew across the open portico and she shivered a little.

"Do you remember when Azula shot Aang and the lightning blocked his chi so he couldn't go into the avatar state?" Katara asked seriously.

"Yes," Toph replied uneasily. Where was she going with this?

"I got a similar feeling from Zuko when I checked him earlier today, and got it again right now," Katara continued. "Like his chi isn't flowing right. That may be why he's not getting better as fast as Dei Zi thought he should."

"What are you saying, Katara?" Toph asked, now actively worried.

"I think his chi is blocked in some way," Katara replied, putting a comforting hand on Toph's arm. Her hand felt very warm. "Have you noticed anything?"

Toph thought for a moment. "Well, he still seems cold to me," she ventured cautiously. "Even in the sunshine his skin still felt cooler than it ought." Then she directed a glance up at Katara and said, "But the sunlight was definitely good for him. He really began to wake up once he'd soaked in some rays."

"I agree," Katara replied soothingly. "But still can feel a snag of some kind in his energy flow. Not as bad as with Aang, but something is there, holding it back from flowing fully."

"What could it possibly be?" Toph wondered aloud. "Did Lian Shen do something to him in the spirit world?" Anger and suspicion ran through her so strongly that the ground beneath her cracked a little.

Katara must have noticed because she held her hand up before her in a placating gesture. "No, no," she said insistently. "I think it was the venom that did it. I don't think it's a spirit thing."

"Venom?" Toph scoffed. "How? Chi is a spirit thing, an energy thing."

"But with a physical component," Katara explained. "Azula's lightning damaged Aang's body, interfering with one of his chakras. And Ty Lee could knock out a person's bending ability by punching strategic points on the body. I think the venom has interfered in some way with Zuko's energy flow."

Toph looked down at the ground and casually healed the crack beneath her feet. "For how long?" she asked.

"I don't know," Katara answered seriously. "The sunlight made a difference. I think we need to be sure he gets plenty of exposure to the sun. And maybe Aang will have some insights into things from a more spiritual perspective."

Toph nodded and went back into the cave. Zuko had rolled over, wrapping his arms around her pillow. She lay down beside him and attempted to free it from his grasp so she could take its place.

"Where did you go?" he asked sleepily.

"Bathroom," she answered, not happy with the lie, but also not ready to tell her already grouchy husband that he might be sicker than they thought.

He pulled her close to him, settling his arm around her waist, one hand spreading across her belly.

"When will I be able to feel him moving?" Zuko asked softly.

"Not for a good while," Toph replied.

"I want to feel him move so I'll know he's okay in there," he said with a yawn.

"He's okay," Toph answered with all the reassurance she could manage. "I'm taking good care of him for you."

"And I'm going to take good care of you for him," he responded seriously. "I promise."

"I know you will, baby," she replied gently. "You always take good care of me."

Zuko pulled the blankets up around them, tucking her in against him. "I love you. You know that, don't you?" he whispered into her ear.

"I know," she said. "Good night, baby."

"Which one?" he asked with a little laugh.

"Both," she giggled in return. "Good night, big baby and little baby."

He gave another contented sigh and seemed to settle peacefully against her. Secure in his arms, it was hard to believe there could be anything wrong with Zuko that a little time and sunshine wouldn't set right.

So she slept too.