Lollipop list chapter two, Sake, chocolate, and morning baths!

Back to Byaku-shi!

"No really captain, what's wrong? You look like your about to murder someone! Did Renji propose? Did Ichigo kiss Rukia? Did someone actually beat you? On second thoughts, that's pretty much impossible!"

Letting out a sigh, Byakuya proceeded to answer her questions, "No, Abari-taichou has not proposed, I do not think he would appreciate you calling him gay, if Ichigo had kissed Rukia, he would not be breathing at this point in time and no, someone had not recently beaten me. But yes, I am angry and I would certainly like to murder someone, but I do not think Kenpachi taichou would appreciate it."

"Hmm, why Kenpachi taichou? Oh, I know! Yachiru has pranked you again, hasn't she?"

"No, it has nothing to do with Yachiru." Was she really this oblivious? He felt like saying, he also felt like screaming; I want to murder that piece of shit Ikkaku! But that was certainly out of the question so he would have to notify her some other way. Ahh, I have an idea, brilliant.

"lieutenant Hayuri, would you like to come to my house for dinner?"

"WHA- hummh, sure captain, will you tell me what's wrong if I do?"

"Of course."

So they headed off towards the Kuchiki estate with Hayuri babbling on happily completely, oblivious to Yachiru's plan, and Byakuya's plan too.

"It is this way, Hayuri-san." Byakuya said as Hayuri tried to go the wrong way for the fifth time.

"Oh… sorry Kuchiki-taichou! Maybe I'll walk behind you so I don't go the wrong way again… hehe." She muttered as she slowed her pace so she was slightly behind Byakuya.

"That will not be necessary, if you were to fall completely behind and get lost, that would cause unnecessary delay, just walk beside me and pay a little more attention."

Byakuya watched as Hayuri ran to walk beside him and inwardly smiled, she was so pretty but she was wasted on Ikkaku. He placed a hand on the small of her back and guided her down the hall towards the dining room.

As they sat down the servants placed the delicious smelling foods on the table, Byakuya nearly laughed at the look of amazement on her face at the quality of the dishes, and actually laughed as she tried to use chop-sticks with her broken hand. Because of something in her blood, healing kidou wouldn't work on her and she now found it difficult to use basic utensils and other things.

"Would you like some help with that?"

Byakuya inwardly chuckled, this was going to be fun, he got up and walked around the table, smirking at the bewildered look on his lieutenants face. He sat down beside her and removed the chop-sticks from her hands, seeing that she was to shocked to receive the piece of chicken that he was offering her, he mischievously flopped it across her nose.

"Captain! Why'd you do that?" Hayuri whined.

"Because you weren't paying attention. Now, open up."

"Hmmph. No."

"And why not?"

"Because it's… it just doesn't feel right."

"Hayuri… would you like me to answer your question?"

"Well… yes… fine. But don't tell anyone! Please?"

"ok, now. Open up!"

Byakuya carefully placed the food in her mouth, then repeated the process a few more times. He was beginning to feel a little thirsty and came up with another ludicrous plan.

"Hayuri, are you thirsty? I myself are feeling a little parched. Would you like a drink? Sake perhaps?"

Hayuri eyed his suspiciously, he was up to something, but she couldn't think what. (stupid Hayuri)

"Ok… if you feel like it…"

Hitsugaya sighed, Matsumoto had yet another shipload of chocolates and gifts from the human world, again. And she had given an enormous box to him, in addition to the multiple other ones she had already given him. What to do with them, her and everything else? He thought. He had heard earlier that Byakuya Kuchiki very much enjoyed chocolate, and so decided to give them to him, and what better time than the present?

Toshiro Hitsugaya had seen many a drunk person in his years as Matsumoto's captain, but never had he expected to see Byakuya Kuchiki drop dead drunk, more so, with his fun loving but innocent Vice captain, Hayuri. So when he walked in and saw Byakuya having a rather messy food fight with Hayuri, he almost died of shock.

"I-I-I Wha- never mind!" Hitsugaya stuttered dropping the box of chocolate and running out of the room as fast as possible.

"Wha' was tha' 'bou?" Hayuri said in a voice slurred with liquor.

"Dunno, but he lef' us some choshola's! Aweshome!" Grinned Byakuya, who picked up the box and pulled on out.

"Open up honey!"

Byakuya pushed the sweet into his vice captains mouth, and accidently, on his part anyway, got his fingers stuck in between her lips.

God knows what they got up to next, but they ended up waking up the next day with massive hang over's and absolutely no idea where they were. After a while, the decided they had somehow ended up in Byakuya's basement bathroom, with Hayuri lying in the bathtub on top of Byakuya, and even though Byakuya wasn't complaining about their current position, Hayuri felt a little awkward, so, attempting to move, realised that her clothes had… torn, whilst on their drunken rampage the night before.

"You know you should take better care of you possessions Hayuri-san." Byakuya murmured, he felt that if he spoke any louder, his voice would kill his ears, and on top of that, he could feel Hayuri sitting on him, quite… well, if that is the best way to describe it. Her toned calves rested along his shoulders, and her thighs ran down his chest. He could especially feel her buttocks pressed against his stomach, and her back resting on his legs… this was getting a little out of hand for him, and he was beginning to worry.

"I know Kuchiki-taichou, I know, but its not my fault… flying donkey balls! Where did the rest of my uniform go? She cried, realising that it only consisted on one sleeve, one leg, and a small bit between, luckily her underwear was still intact, but that was about it. She blushed bright red and tried to move away from her captain only to see that his clothes were just as damaged, if not more damaged than her own.

The funny thing was that he had managed to keep his precious scarf in one piece, whilst only one side of his uniform bottoms remained. She giggled at the sight, but blushed even more when she caught Byakuya looking at her.

"Pervert." Hayuri stated bluntly.

"As are you." Byakuya stated even more bluntly.

This was going to be a long day…

Seems like Byaku-shi is doing goodies!

I wanna see Bee-chan be happy! I think she likes Grimmy! Ok, here we go!

(A/N) Hey, I hope you like the story so far… ish, I know its not that great, and I might not update for a while, I just need the inspiration, and a lot of constructive criticism, I'm going to make another one, but… a little different, it will be the one where… jokes, I'm not giving it away! Hehe, don't worry, it will be good… I hope! Anyways, review please!