Chapter 26

Mai lay there wide awake holding Jet in her arms.

He was the guy.

When they asked her when she knew he was the guy, she knew what she'd say. She knew he was the guy when he told her he loved her and fell asleep.

No chance for commentary, no chance for reciprocation, he just fell asleep.

She lay there next to him, his head on her shoulder, one arm cast across her so casually, like it had always belonged there. His hair was damp against her cheek and she brushed it back from his forehead again.

He loved her.

What did that mean? she wondered. Did that mean he really did love her or that he was grateful to have a warm body to lie with or that she was a great girl?

And just as important, did she love him?

He was the guy. She had to love him.

Then what exactly was it that she loved? she wondered. She barely knew him.

Unbidden flickers of memory flashed through her head—Jet standing with her outside the healer's hut as Katara worked on Zuko's leg. He'd given her a little smile of camaraderie as if to say, "I'm just as uncomfortable with this as you are." Then he'd proceeded to get over his discomfort and perform surgery.

She remembered traveling with him on the geckos through the swamp—how efficient he was on the trail, all the time making relaxed, casual conversation. How confidently he'd faced the bandits, talking them into his little con game with ease.

Then she remembered the other side of him she'd seen when he confronted the bandit leader. He'd been furious, frightening in the speed and intensity of his attack, the point of his dagger never wavering from the bandit's neck as he'd threatened him.

Then that night back in the village, she'd seen yet another side of him when he held onto her. She'd known at the time that he wasn't just holding her for her own comfort, he'd needed her presence with him for himself.

Then she remembered the way he'd kissed her in the darkness beside the waterfall. She had no idea she could ever react that way—so free of self-consciousness, so free to just enjoy his touch. She'd felt completely safe with him.

She looked down at him again, tracing one eyebrow with her finger. He was so different from any man she'd ever met. He was such a mixture of generosity and need, of talk and action. He could break up with her one minute and tell her he loved her the next.

He downplayed his abilities and acted as if he was nothing special, but she could see why he'd been the leader of his group. He'd be a wonderful king—always in touch with the people, able to listen to their needs, but able to take action when necessary and tenacious in defense of what was his.

She wanted to be his.

Then she realized she wanted him to be hers as well. She wanted his passion, his intensity, his humor, his wit, his dangerous edge, his charm all to herself. She wanted to be the one who held him in the night, the one who listened to his problems, the one who stood beside him when everyone else walked away.

He was the guy. That much she knew as she kissed his forehead and finally went to sleep.

Zuko also lay there in the dark, cradling Toph in his arms. She felt so soft against him. That sweet softness contrasted so radically with the sheer power of her bending, a power that never ceased to amaze him. Once again, he reflected on how fortunate—how blessed he was to have her in his life.

She was tough enough to stand up to him, to tell him the truth. But she was loving enough to let him make his own path, to give him room to grow.

She understood things so clearly, so quickly, but she always kept a sense of humor about it. She never took herself too seriously, and she never let him either. She made sure he didn't worry too long over an issue. She kept his life interesting. She made him laugh.

He treasured every little thing about her and he loved her to the core of his being.

And she loved him enough to have his baby. With all his faults, with all his bad history, she wanted him to be her baby's father.

Maybe the guys were right. Maybe he was a little too drawn in by the bad side of his family tree to the exception of the good side. It really wasn't fair to Avatar Roku and the rest of his decent ancestors to let the bad ones take away all his pride in his background.

He thought back to the Fire Lords of old before Sozin. So many of them were good men, wise and progressive leaders. Sozin's father had been renowned for his public works and his willingness to work with the rest of the nations.

Zuko couldn't help but wonder what had caused his son to go so wrong. He wondered how he could make certain his son traveled a good path—found himself a good destiny.

Then it came to him. He would take his son to meet the dragons.

When he was old enough, he would take him there to face them. He would tell his son the stories of the dragons of old and let him know how important it was to honor the spirit of the dragons in the Fire Nation. Then he would take him to meet the dragons first hand.

Then his son would always understand.

Zuko placed his hand over Toph's belly as she slept and made a quiet promise to his unborn child. "I will take you to meet the dragons," he whispered. "You will meet them and then you will understand fire. You will understand what it means to be Fire Lord."

Then he slept and his dreams were of flying dragons of all colors, dragons who swept majestically through the air, filling the sky above the Fire Nation.

Mai woke the next morning as Aang opened the cave again. Jet was still in her arms, sleeping soundly.

"Hey," she whispered to him, "wake up. It's morning."

He mumbled something back to her but didn't awaken. Carefully, she extricated herself from his arms and tried to pull herself together before the others surfaced. Aang might know their sleeping arrangements, but that didn't mean she was ready to field everybody's questions.

She expected to see the rest of the group up and about shortly, but to her surprise, even Aang went back to bed after a few minutes of piddling around the fire.

Mai decided to take advantage of the solitude for a short workout, heading away from camp a distance to find a good spot for target practice. Soon, she turned up a stand of scrubby trees, not much trunk on any of them, which in her eyes made them excellent targets. Her accuracy had been suffering lately.

Taking a deep breath, she turned her back and closed her eyes, concentrating her awareness on the position of the trees as she remembered them. Then she spun around, sending the blades from her twin wrist holsters whistling through the air and into the trunks, hitting eight of ten targets.

Better, she thought to herself. She found the other two blades hung in the branches mere inches from the trunk. She could see where one blade had clipped the edge of the bark before spinning off.

She collected her daggers again and reloaded. Then she walked back to her position and prepared to throw again. She had just closed her eyes in concentration when she heard a loud snapping sound somewhere to her left. She opened her eyes again and turned slightly to see a very large grizzly wolverine standing about fifteen feet away from her.

Its red eyes seemed to glow as it stood on its hind legs in a threatening pose, baring its teeth with a low growl. Her heart gave a pound of alarm, but she forced herself to remain calm. "Well, aren't you something," she commented softly.

Back at camp, Jet had woken up to realize Mai wasn't beside him. He'd dressed and walked out by the fire to look for her but no one was around.

"Mai?" he called, but got no answer. The fire was low. It looked as if someone put a little fuel on, but not enough to really get it going for the morning.

He thought of gathering some firewood, but decided to see if he couldn't find Mai first. It could be fun to wander around in the woods alone together, he thought with a little grin.

He tried to sense something through the soles of his boots, but got very little feedback. So he bent down to place his hands on the ground.

After only a moment of searching, he picked up the feel of her. She was on the edge of his ability to see, a good distance away from camp. She was walking around what might be small trees.

Then he watched as she stopped and turned around. Out of nowhere, a huge heavy animal stepped into his view as well. He could feel her heart jump in surprise, triggering a flood of adrenalin that ran through him causing his abilities to skyrocket in intensity.

In a sudden rush of clarity he could see her exact position, how she was standing, how her breathing suddenly deepened. He could see the animal clearly as well—it seemed to be a very large grizzly wolverine standing on its hind legs. He felt it growl and his heart constricted in a sudden rush of fear.

Then without warning, both Mai and the grizzly simply vanished from his sight. He couldn't feel anything anymore. His abilities were gone. He'd lost her.

Mai stayed perfectly still as she rapidly scanned the huge furry body for vulnerable points. With only a few inches of penetration to each knife, if the thing chose to attack her, she'd have to be certain of hitting those places where the blades would do the most damage. Otherwise, it would just shrug them off as casually as a bee sting and proceed to rip her head off.

She tried to remember everything she'd heard about dealing with wild animals like this one. Don't run—that much she did recall. But with grizzly wolverines did you raise your hands and act big or drop your head and act small? She couldn't remember.

So she compromised by backing slowly away from it. If Jet had been there, she felt sure he would be talking the animal down in a gentle voice, calming it until it finally ate from his hand. Mai didn't feel like she had that kind of ability or that kind of presence of mind.

Instead she continued to move quietly into the trees where it would have more trouble following her. She would have liked to ease toward camp, but the animal was unfortunately blocking her path.

At last after moving several yards away from it, she watched as the large beast dropped back to its all fours and shuffled off. She sighed in relief, then began a long, circular route back to the cave. She didn't really want to encounter it again and calmly chose to give it a wide berth.

Meanwhile his heart pounding in terror, Jet desperately ran for the place where he'd last felt her presence, tearing through the trees at breakneck speed. He rounded a boulder just in time to spy the huge lumbering form of the grizzly. It passed by him, giving him only a casual glance as if he weren't worth the bother.

The animal wandered by and Jet began to search the area for any sign of Mai, terrified that at any minute he'd find her body.

Nothing.

Jet placed both his hands on the large boulder and tried again to feel her.

Nothing.

He couldn't even feel the giant animal as close as it was. Fear turned to panic—where was she? He tried to feel for her again, but he couldn't concentrate for the terror that ripped through him.

He knew he was getting irrational, he knew that she had to be somewhere around there perfectly safe, probably back at camp by now. But the feeling of desperate emptiness that ran though him now was past rational thought. Mai was gone.

Night after night in the swamp had stirred up his memories—after years of trying to forget, he'd been forced to remember the way he'd felt when his parents died before his eyes, when his friends abandoned him at the reservoir, when Ozai's fire had taken everyone he had left.

His life had been marked over and over by loss—by a feeling of abandonment that had never truly left him.

Now Mai was gone.

The aching emptiness he'd always managed to keep at bay threatened to consume him and his emotions choked him even as he denied them.

He had only one thought as he raced through the woods, his heart pounding. He had to find her. He couldn't lose her too.

Mai was nearly back at camp again when she heard the sound of something tearing through the underbrush. She spun around, daggers at the ready, to see Jet burst out of the forest, his eyes wild. At top speed he ran to her and grabbed her in a tight embrace, practically tackling her with his momentum.

"What's wrong?" she managed to ask, but he didn't reply. He just sank to his knees as he continued to hold her, his face buried against her neck. She could feel him shaking with exertion as he tried to catch his breath.

Then she realized it was more than exertion. He was really upset.

"What's wrong?" she asked again, her thoughts racing. What could have happened at camp? Was somebody hurt? Had Zuko gotten that much worse?

"I lost you," Jet breathlessly managed to reply at last. "I saw the grizzly then I couldn't find you anymore."

All he could do was hold her and try his best not to break down in relief. He'd found her. He'd found her. He repeated the words to himself like a mantra. He could feel himself shaking.

"I'm fine," she said in a calm voice as she stroked his hair. "The grizzly just walked away when I walked away. Live and let live."

He tried to laugh, but the terror was still too fresh in his mind. The huge hole he felt in himself when she'd vanished from his sight had been too void, too empty. How could he live if something happened to her? How had his feelings for her gone so far, so fast? Jet was afraid on more levels than he could account for.

Somehow they managed to get back to camp before anyone else had even stirred. Silently, Jet forced himself to rebuild the fire, to act normally. Mai took the kettle to start tea, but the water jug was empty.

"Do you want to get water?" she asked him.

He just shook his head no. He wouldn't leave her and he didn't want to go back to the waterfall again right then. He'd kissed her by the waterfall yesterday morning. Someone else could get water this morning. If they went back to the waterfall right now, he wasn't sure what might happen. He wasn't sure of himself anymore and it bothered him badly.

She sat down next to him as the fire crackled, holding out her hands to warm them in the cool morning air. After a moment, he trusted himself enough to put his arm around her. Without hesitation, she snuggled into him.

His bending sight was back, he realized as he felt the movement of her sliding across the stone bench.

But even though the fear was gone, he still felt like he was caught up in a whirlpool of emotion, pulling him down.

He wanted to be with her, to always have her right there in his sight, to never have to feel that desperate aloneness again. But he had no way to keep her there. He had nothing to offer her to make her stay with him.

And even if she did stay, what was to prevent something from happening to her? What if that grizzly had killed her? How would he deal with the huge empty place that her death would leave inside him?

He hadn't allowed himself to really care about anyone in so long. He even kept his distance with Longshot and Smellerbee. Now he cared about Mai so much it terrified him.

How had he let it go so far? How had he not seen that he was giving himself away to her? What was so special about this woman that he suddenly couldn't live unless she was beside him?

Then he realized what it was. When he was with her, he felt whole again.

And no matter the fear, no matter the uncertainty, he wouldn't go back. He had to have her with him to keep him whole. Last night he'd told her that he loved her. This morning he knew that it was true.

The rest of the company began to join them two at a time beginning with Toph and Zuko. Seeing that the water jug was empty, Toph settled Zuko on his lounge in the sun, then headed back into the cave to the spring to refill it.

While she was gone, Aang and Katara came out with little Bumi, followed shortly by Sokka and Suki with Zutara and Toma. The children played near the fire, Zutara coming to sit next to Jet with a yawn.

"I'm still sleepy," she complained, looking plaintively up at him with those big blue eyes. Then she curled up next to him on the bench with her head on his knee. He didn't stir.

Toph returned with the water and the other adults got breakfast ready, but Jet and Mai simply sat there next to one another, Zutara asleep again beside them. Conversation rattled around them, but other than good morning, neither of them said anything.

"You two are mighty quiet this morning," Sokka said with a yawn of his own as he roused Zutara to eat her breakfast.

"I guess," Jet managed to reply.

Zuko came to join them by the fire as breakfast plates were passed. Jet was forced to remove his arm from Mai's shoulder in order to eat, but he still managed to stay in physical contact with her by shifting his knee against hers.

"So what are we up to today?" Katara asked the group in general.

"I thought I'd do a little hunting," Sokka answered. "We could use some fresh meat."

"Speak for yourself," Aang said with a laugh and a shake of his head.

"Jet, you want to come along?" Sokka asked.

"I don't know," Jet replied. "Toph might have lessons planned for me." He hoped so. He didn't want to venture so far away he couldn't feel Mai anymore. Part of him felt clingy and foolish, the other part just felt afraid.

"Nope," Toph spoke up. "Nothing until this afternoon. Go if you want to."

Jet's grip on his plate tightened. "Okay," he heard himself say to Sokka. "We'll go after breakfast."

Breakfast was over too fast. He found himself standing next to Mai at the dishpan as they washed up their dishes. "So, what are you going to do while we're out hunting?" he asked as casually as he could.

"I don't know," she replied just as casually. "I thought maybe I'd go with you."

Jet was equal parts delighted at the prospect of her company and fearful that they'd run into that grizzly wolverine again. Would he rather know she was safe at camp or have her in sight?

"Okay," he said to her. "Come along if you want to. Or feel free to hang out here." He decided to just let her make the call. He couldn't stand the pressure.

"Why don't you guys go have fun together?" she suggested as she dried her dish then his. "I'll just hang around here and wash my hair or something."

"Just don't go wandering off in the woods by yourself again," Jet said firmly. "That grizzly is probably still around."

"You're the one who needs to be careful of him," she said just as firmly. "Don't go looking for trouble, understand? Come back in one piece."

"Okay," he replied.

He walked into the cave to grab his bow and a couple of snares. Maybe they could catch one of those big prairie turkeys he saw last night. He was turning away from the storage area when Mai walked up.

"How long will you guys be out?" she asked, looking up at him.

"I don't really know. Not long," he replied, his eyes meeting hers in an unwavering gaze.

"Sokka is waiting on you," she said, her eyes never leaving his.

He walked closer, but she stood her ground, blocking the way back out of the cave. He stood within inches of her, gripping the bow and snares so tightly his knuckles whitened.

"I wanted to tell you--" she began, but didn't finish her statement. Instead after a long moment, she stood up on tiptoe to give him a soft kiss on the cheek. "Be careful," she whispered.

Then she backed away to let him pass. Outside Jet could hear Sokka calling to him.

He left the cave, his mood somber.