AN: Hey! Sorry this took so long to post, my internet wasn't cooperating. So this is dinner at Rossi's. Enjoy!
Chapter 31
"Damn, you look like you've been dragged through hell and back" Matthew greeted me with just before rehearsal on Friday. He had skipped periods one through seven that day to finish an essay, so it was the first time I had seen him.
"Thanks" I retorted with a glare while opening up my script. I was exhausted, my body was aching, I was slightly trembling, and I was having increasingly distressing head pains. Needless to say, I was not in the mood to be anywhere but my bed.
"Seriously though, what's up?" Matthew now asked with sincerity.
"I didn't get much sleep is all" I lied. I knew full well why my body was reacting the way it was. I hadn't eaten in four days.
"Didn't get much sleep, eh?" He replied skeptically, looking me up and down. I tried my best to focus on looking over my lines, pretending not to notice his stare.
"Mhm" I assured. I was saved from the conversation when Mrs. Bates emerged from her office.
"Alright, I want to have 'At the End of the Day' finished so we can block it next week. Let's go!"
Soon enough, the scene was done with and we were released. Worn out didn't even begin to describe my situation.
"Shit shit shit shit shit!" I shouted in the empty apartment at approximately 6pm, fifteen minutes before Spencer was scheduled to pick me up and head to Rossi's. I was having a hell of a time finding an appropriate outfit. My bedroom floor was littered with a variation of jeans, sweaters, leggings, blouses, and just about every other clothing category known to mankind.
Finally, I decided on a long sleeved, a-line black dress with a white peter pan collar, and black tights of course. I had to make sure to be careful of my sleeves, my wounds from the previous week were healing at an oddly slow pace and the last thing I needed was them to be noticed. I would be carted off for sure.
My exhaustion was obvious from the condition my face was in, so I tried my best to cover it up with a light layer of foundation. Since I was half made up, I figured I couldn't go wrong with a little mascara and a hint of dark eye liner. Subtle, but enough to mask the state I was in.
Spencer called from the parking lot to save time, and before I knew it we were off to Rossi's.
"Where exactly does Rossi live? I feel like we've been driving for hours" I stated while attempting to make out the darkness on the other side of my window.
"Right...here actually" Spencer made a sharp turn onto a long winding road. Little did I know, that 'road' was really a driveway. A few minutes later the car came to a halt. I readjusted my glasses and lugged my lethargic body out of the car, preparing myself for what the night would hold. Gazing up at the enormous structure not fifteen feet away, both Spencer and I stopped dead in our tracks.
"Are you sure we have the right house?" I said in total shock. When Spencer said we would be having dinner at Rossi's house, I expected just that: a house. But no, this was a full blown mansion.
Before I could even absorb the full details of the stone formation, the mahogany double doors flew open.
"Ah the Reid's have arrived!" A very cheerful Rossi threw his arms up and stood in the large door way. He had a dish towel thrown over his shoulder, and to my surprise an apron around his waist.
"Hey Rossi" I giggled as he pulled me into a tight hug, which caused a shot of pain due to my achy body. When I was finally released, he gave a kiss to the top of my head.
"Everyone is in the living room, follow me" Rossi brought us into the foyer. The floors were a shinning marble, and seemed to go on forever. Two massive staircases on either side of the front room curved up and connected at the center, forming the second floor. We followed Rossi past the stairwell and through the immaculate kitchen, finally hitting a small living room containing two black leather couches, a glass coffee table, and five agents. Well, according to the bureau there were only three, because JJ was the media liaison and Garcia was the tech analyst, but in my mind with what they each contributed, they were nothing short of agents.
"Hey look who finally showed" Emily smiled, triggering a wave of 'hello's' coming from the team. She scooted down the couch to make room Spencer and I to sit.
"Sorry, Boy Genius got us lost" I said jokingly, rolling my eyes.
"Hey, you try driving in a dark wooded area where there happens to be no street lights" Spencer retaliated. I just laughed it off, taking a seat.
"So Mini-Reid, how are rehearsals comin'? From what pretty boy tells us, they're practically keeping you hostage" Derek grinned and gave a chuckle.
"The rehearsals themselves are tough, we're constantly working for three and a half hours straight. We can goof around a bit, but if we get too distracted we get reprimanded. Our orders outside of school are ridiculous though" I replied. Mrs. Bates upon our second rehearsal gave us specific guide lines on what to do and not to do on our free time.
"You were given orders? What kind of orders?" JJ spoke up, everyone looking mildly confused.
"Oh, y-yeah we were. We aren't allowed to attend parties, stay up too late, engage in any risky behavior, or let any social occasions or flaws interfere with our performance. We all have to exercise at least twice a week and take vitamins to stay healthy, and we were each given strict instructions to alter our appearance for our role" I rambled. The team's faces were priceless.
"All of that, for a musical? It sounds more like a cult than a cast" Emily responded to my rant. I giggled at the accuracy of her statement.
"What sort of changes does everyone have to undergo?" JJ asked.
"Well, for example, my friend Arianna who is playing Cosette was told to lose ten pounds, and my friend Matthew who is portraying Jean Valjean has to build more muscle" I answered, hoping no one would ask what my orders were.
"W-what did they tell you to change?"
My hopes were shot down.
Before I had the time to answer, Rossi entered the living room, drawing all eyes on him.
"Dinner, my faithful friends, is served"
Bullet dodged.
"Thank god! I'm starving!" Derek let out, rubbing his perfectly tight stomach. Starving? He had no idea.
Each of us sat down along the lengthy dinner table, in front of the large variation of Italian dishes. I had Spencer to my left, Emily to my right, and Derek and Garcia across from me. Hotch sat next to Derek, and JJ across from him next to Emily. Rossi sat at the head of course.
"This is quite the spread Rossi" Spencer said while sitting down. He was right, it was. There was your classic chicken parmesan, spagetti aglio olio, pene alla vodka, sausage and peppers, and an additional caprese salad. That's when the panic set in.
Just the sight of the food alone made my mouth water, but made my stomach churn. I was so hungry. It had been four days, approximately 97 hours since I last ate anything substantial. All I had consumed in the course of that time was coffee, seven tic tacs, and mass amounts of water. I wanted so badly to inhale everything in sight, but something was physically stopping me. It was as if something was holding me back with extreme force, whispering the consequences in each ear.
"Control, Jenna. You have control." I repeated in my head to remind myself not go off the deep end and slip into a full fledge panic attack. I served myself a decent size scoop of each pasta dish, and a medium amount of the caprese salad. I was trying to avoid meat partly due to its heaviness, but also because I had done my fair share of research on where it came from and I found it to be exceedingly unsettling.
I looked around the table and saw the team had already dug into their meals. I looked down at my plate, stomach practically screaming, and took my first bite of the al dente noodles bathed in their creamy vodka sauce.
My mind went nuclear. Screaming at me to stop, to put the damn fork down and spill everything into the toilet in the other room. But I couldn't. I had to keep going, despite any torture my brain put me through.
I went through the meal on auto pilot. I completely tuned out my surroundings. I knew conversation was all around me, all seven agents joking around and discussing various topics I would have loved to be a part of, but my psyche had different plans. With each bite of the meal my thoughts shrieked louder and louder. I could feel every calorie, every gram of fat filling my weak body and poisoning my blood. They began gnawing away at my organs, chewing up any pieces left untouched by the morsels I so badly resented. My stomach felt like it was going to burst from the volume I stuffed it with, begging me make it all disappear. I was on the verge of tears when-
"Jenna!" Emily's voice cut in and I snapped my neck up to realize I all eyes were on me. The stares of seven profilers burned through my skin, making me ultimately uncomfortable.
"Yeah?" I said in the perkiest tone my voice allowed. I looked around to each member of the team with the best poker face I harbored. They looked at each other as well, presumably exchanging silent signs of worry.
"What was that?" Derek let out, dragging out his words.
"What was what?" I shook my head, pretending I didn't know what they were talking about. I probably should have stopped using the 'I know nothing' tactic when it failed for the third time.
"The staring into space and unresponsive behavior thing" Emily raised her left eyebrow at me. I kept my face as straight as possible as I hunted for a reply.
"Oh- I'm sorry, got lost in thought I guess" I shrugged and forced a grin. The agents swapped glances once again, then when back to their meals. I knew I hadn't fooled them, but I also wasn't sure what was going through their heads, all I knew was that whatever was going through mine was a new level of hell.
"So, Jenna, how is school going? Do you like all of your teachers?"Hotch broke the awkward silence and discreetly saved my ass from screwing up any further.
The remainder of the night flew by smoothly. The voice in the back of my mind subsided for all of an hour and a half, allowing me to let loose and actually enjoy the presence of my 'adopted family'. Spencer and I said our goodbye's, and as we were exiting the masterpiece of a house, I felt a hand on my shoulder. My body gave an instinctual flinch and turned around.
"Oh- sorry if I startled you" Emily stated.
"No- it's fine really. What's up?" I questioned, although I was sure I already knew the answer.
"I just wanted to let you know that if anything is bothering you, or if you need advice on something, you can come to me if you ever need to talk. And I won't tell Spencer, if you were worried about that" Emily's voice was genuine, and I wanted so badly to blurt out every demon living inside my head and blubber like a baby.
"Thank you, it-it means a lot" I smiled warmly. She wished me a safe trip home and I caught up to Spencer down the driveway.
"Hey what was that about?" He asked skeptically.
"Nothing, girl stuff" I giggled slightly, knowing Spencer wouldn't ask any further questions.
I went to bed that night with an array of contradicting emotions, the good the bad and the ugly.