"The past is our definition. We may strive, with good reason, to escape it, or to escape what is bad in it, but we will escape it only by adding something better to it."

Wendell Berry

I was sitting in the middle of my bed with my phone laying a foot away from me. I've been staring at that phone for what felt like hours but I didn't have the guts to just pick the phone up and call Damon. The sun was shining through my window and landed right on the phone. It was almost like God was telling me to hurry up and get over with already. I could do this, right? I mean all I had to do was say 'Hey I think we need a break'. That was simple enough. So why is it taking me so long to just do it? I already accepted this day will come. I had to get this over with before Caroline goes and kisses him and makes me look like a fool.

With shaky hands I picked up the phone and hesitantly dialed his number. I stared at the phone and then forced myself to bring it up to my ear. After a couple rings I started praying for a voicemail. My hopes came crashing down as the soft familiar voice came into hearing range.

"Hey Damon, it's Elena." I mumbled into the phone. I had this image of Caroline kissing him in my head and it wouldn't go away. I couldn't even concentrate on my words. All I could think about was lips on lips and blonde curly hair and cocky smirks.

"I know it's you." Damon's laugh brought me back to earth and my brain didn't have enough time to kick in before words I'm sure I'll regret flew out.

"You wouldn't cheat on me would you?" There was a long pregnant pause and I swear I could just slap myself for getting so caught up. Those words definitely weren't break up starters. I should have went with 'We should talk' or 'I think we should just be friends' followed by a 'It's me, not you.' Why couldn't I do that? "I mean..."

"You think I cheated on you?" Damon was very defensive and I almost flinched. I was not expecting that reaction.

"No, no, no." I quickly cleared it up before we got into an unnecessary fight. "That's not what I was saying."

"Then what are you saying? I thought that being honest with you from the start, we wouldn't have these problems." His words cut deep. Honest. He thought we were in a honest relationship. I am so stupid sometimes. I was nothing even close to honest with him. And I had so many opportunities!

"I know...it's just." I took a deep breath, trying to straighten out my thoughts. "If a girl came up to you and just kissed you, what would you do?"

"I don't know where this is coming from but I don't want to be kissing any other girls but you." I was suddenly calmed down by his tone. I actually believed him with all my heart. Surely he would push her away. "You know I have issues with my brother but I trust you around him. Can you trust me back not to hook up with anyone else?"

"You really trust me?" I whispered into the phone. If I could ever feel any lower...

"Completely." He was so confident and I knew in that moment, I had to tell him the truth. There was no getting away from it.

"Good, cause you can trust me. I'm sorry for doubting you."

"Elena I just want you to know that if I had it my way, I would have skipped all those other girls if I could have met you sooner." I tried my best to suppress the butterflies. Why does he have to say things like that? It doesn't really help when he is sweet and I'm feeling guilty. "So what time are you going for dinner?"

"I'm going to be leaving in a couple hours, I should start getting ready." I stood up and walked over to my closest, looking for something to wear. "I have to meet my aunts new boyfriend. If I would have known this sooner, I would have invited you."

"Ooh, would that is just getting closer to meeting your parents and you know what that means..." I couldn't help but laugh. Figures he would think about that. "I'm just kidding. But take your time. The party isn't going anywhere."

"Listen, Damon tonight I have something I need to tell you."

"Okay, we will talk later. I have to go." He sounded rushed so I just dropped it. We said our goodbyes and I was feeling excited and yet very nervous. I needed to tell him. I was going to tell him but what if he hates me and never wants to see me again? That would rip me apart. He had every right to be mad, I mean if someone did that to me... I had to stop these negative thoughts. I had to think of how great it would be if he finally knew and could forgive me.

I walked into my bathroom and started the shower and almost gasped. Our conversation did not go the way I planned. It's like I completed forgot everything. I unconsciously chose Damon over Caroline. How could I let this happen? And how can I not come to regret it? I had to talk to Caroline. I had to explain and hopefully she will understand. I didn't want this to happen, but it did. I got into the shower knowing one thing, for once I was going to be selfish.

I walked up the path to Jenna's door, preparing myself for what tonight might bring. To be honest I just wanted to get this dinner over with already. I knocked on the door and waited patiently.

"Elena!" Jenna opened the door all enthusiastic and I felt somewhat bad for trying to rush the dinner. I haven't seen her in so long. I wrapped my arms around her as she pulled me into the house. "I'm so happy you can make it."

"I missed you." I didn't even realize how caught up I got in my own life.

"I missed you too. Now, come meet Alaric." What? One half of my brain was telling me it was pure coincidence and the other was telling me that Alaric is not a name you hear every day. Please, don't be him...

"Alaric this Elena, Elena this is Alaric." Jenna introduced us when we reached the kitchen. I wanted to puke and I wanted to run away. This could not be happening. In was in fact Damon's Alaric that was cutting carrots in the kitchen. Alaric's face showed shock for a couple seconds till a fake smile came across his face.

"Nice to meet you Elena."

"You too." I managed to squeak out. How much did Jenna tell him about me? How much did Damon tell him about me? Why did I have to live in such a small town!

"I'll finish this up." Jenna said while going to the food in the kitchen. "You guys can go sit in the dinning room and get to know each other." Jenna flashed us a naive smile as she went to work. I slowly walked into her dinning room, praying that maybe Alaric would try to stay and help. I didn't have much luck as he followed me.

"So this is kind of awkward." I mumbled. I'm sure the way we first met was running through his head. We didn't really talk much but just the fact that I tried to flirt with him and he didn't like it when Damon came around made things tense. "You better treat my aunt right." I said getting it out of the way. "Or I'll make you suffer." I said with a straight face.

"I would never hurt Jenna but as we are on the topic of hurting the ones we love, I must bring up Damon." He said just as serious. I could tell he was angry.

"What about Damon?" I couldn't look at him. I didn't know how much he knew and I didn't want to give anything away.

"Damon has talked about you... a lot. And what he has said doesn't match up to what I've heard from your aunt."

"What exactly have you heard?" I whispered.

"Why would you lie about your parents?" Oh no, he knew. I groaned and put my head in my hands, hiding in shame.

"It's a long story." I was getting really emotional at getting caught. What do I tell Alaric? Do I tell him everything? Do I lie some more?

"It seems we have some time before Jenna comes in. Lets use it." He was a little softer now instead of abrasive. I knew he was trying to stick up for his friend but what was I going to do?

"I lied to Damon because... I didn't want to actually personalize things. I ended up doing just the opposite." I felt tears in my eyes as I tried to explain.

"What are you talking about?"

"If I tell you, can you please let me explain to Damon? I planned on telling him tonight." He hesitantly nodded so I went on. "Caroline Forbes is my best friend." Alaric's mouth hung agape but he didn't say anything. "When she found out Damon had been cheating on her, we thought it would be great if he got a taste of his own medicine. But things got out of hand! I was vulnerable when I agreed to it and after I met Damon I realized there is more than meets the eye and he's somewhat just like me. In a twisted way, I forgot about this stupid plan and then I mentioned what happened with Stefan and she thought it would be perfect to hurt him that way."

"Oh no." Alaric whispered.

"That's not going to happen." I said before he got any ideas. "After that I said I couldn't do things anymore and Caroline and I both agreed to end what we were doing. And tonight she is going to try to win him back." The last statement came out bitter and he noticed.

"Okay." I watched as he thought things over. I'm sure he was conflicted on what to do. "I won't tell Damon. But you are going to." He said firmly.

"Thank you." Jenna came busting into the room after that, breaking the serious mood. The rest of the night went somewhat well. There was still tension between Alaric and I but it was bearable. I now had to tell Damon and for some reason I was excited about it. I shouldn't be. I should be freaking out. The rest of the night went fast and it brought back memories of the nights I spent with Jenna when I lived with her. I forgot how nice it was to be with family. There was no betrayal and no lies. Even with Alaric there, it was a fresh of breath air.

At the end of the dinner I excused myself, now even more eager to get to Damon. If things went the way I wanted it tonight I would enjoy the party with Damon and then talk with him afterward. Hopefully he would get mad and then calm down and forgive me as we started an honest relationship. Sure, maybe it was a little too optimistic but it was all that I could think to push me to telling the truth. I didn't want to think of him throwing me out of his life forever or him going back to Caroline. Those just weren't options.

I already said goodbye to Jenna and Alaric and as I walked to the door someone pulled me back. It was Alaric and before I could question hes started talking.

"Damon wont go for Caroline. I can promise you that." There was sincerity in his eyes and I felt suddenly reassured by that situation. "When you tell him the truth it will take a while for him to be cool again, but it won't be as bad because you are telling him."

"That means a lot."

"Chances are that things will be okay. Don't screw it up." He said with a smile and I couldn't help but think how tonight turned from horrible to somewhat good.

"Thanks, again. Are you coming to the party."

"No. I'm spending the night with Jenna." I let a smile slip and then I left, quickly rushing to my car. I was so happy that things could be okay. That maybe all this worrying could turn out for the best.

When I reached the boarding house I texted Damon to meet me outside. It looked like a frat party exploded all over the place. There were people out in the front yard with the occasional person passed out on the lawn. I didn't even realize Damon reached me when I felt his arms wrap around and squeeze me.

"Why are you so happy?" He asked while letting go but keeping one arm around me.

"What?"

"You have had a giant ass grin on your face since I saw you."

"Oh, I totally just owned my parallel parking job." I pointed to my car as he laughed at me.

"I like a women who can take pride in the simplest things." He said and then suddenly became stiff.

"What's wrong?" I said noticing his face suddenly become serious.

"Someone just showed up, who was certainly not invited." I tried looking who he was talking about but he was already walking away from me. "I'll meet you inside Elena, I just have to take care of this."

"Okay." I shrugged and then went back to walking to the house. I then froze when I saw that Caroline was leaning against the door, clearly witnessing everything that went down since I arrived.

"What was that?" She demanded as she walked up and got in my face. "That clearly wasn't the after effects of a break up!"

"I know, Caroline I'm sorry. I couldn't do it."

"Couldn't do it? You couldn't leave my boyfriend alone!" She yelled and I quickly glanced around and saw that there were some people staring at us.

"He isn't your boyfriend Caroline!" I yelled back not caring about the audience.

"What, he is yours? This was supposed to be fake Elena! Fake!" I gulped back the lump in my throat and she noticed. "That's it, isn't it? You forgot it was fake?"

"Caroline listen..."

"No, you listen. You were supposed to break up with him. You were supposed to leave him alone. A good friend would have!"

"A good friend? I've been nothing but a good friend!" I couldn't believe this was happening after all that I've been though with her she was saying I wasn't a good friend to her!

"Really? What kind of friend would you call the one who falls for the guy I was dating? The guy who is mine?"

"He isn't yours! He never was. And who said I fell for him?"

"Oh please, you think I didn't notice? I warned you about him. You didn't even listen. I hate you Elena. You don't even care how I feel. I loved him and you thought it was okay to take whatever you wanted!"

"That's not true!"

"Ever since your parents died it has been about you, you, you. This time it is about me. I'm about to show you exactly who Damon Salvatore is and who he belongs to." She looked at me with disgust as she marched back into the boarding house and slammed the door. Oh god, what was she going to do?

AN: Hey everyone, I know I said I'd update before the weekend but I got sick. This took me like 4 days to write so sorry if it feels spaced. Next chapter is going to be huge:)

Who do you think showed up uninvited? What do you think Caroline is going to do? Do you think Elena will be able to tell Damon the truth?

Review!