category: Gundam SEED

disclaimer: I don't own it.

FORTY-TWO.

Athrun studied Shinn across the table. "I hear you're been doing very well in your current position. Captain of the mobile space defense team, was it?"

"Yeah," Shinn confirmed. The years had whittled away the edginess in his tone. He sat easily in his chair, with the effortless confidence of someone who had come to terms with himself. "I've been made an ambassador to the Supreme Council, too."

Athrun remembered a boy who didn't pay attention to his commanders and never knew how to speak without starting a fight. He smiled. "Congratulations."

A passing waitress hurriedly dropped off a pot of coffee on her way to other customers. Shinn poured himself a cup and leaned back. "So is there something wrong? Your message sounded pressing."

"Not really." Athrun didn't reach for the cream and sugar. "I was in the PLANTs on business and heard you'd been called to headquarters for a bit. I just wanted to talk."

"Right." If Shinn was dubious – it wasn't as if they didn't talk on a regular basis at Sunday dinners – he didn't let on. "Nice coffee," he started, but Athrun cut in at the same time with a sudden, "I'm sorry."

The conversation skipped a beat. Athrun stared at his hands and Shinn tried to keep himself from gaping openly.

"W-what?"

"I'm sorry," Athrun repeated, louder.

"For what?" Shinn tugged at his sleeve anxiously. "I don't understand."

Athrun sighed. "I've wanted to tell you this for a long time." He gathered his thoughts. "All that time I was on the Minerva during the second war, I wanted to help you. I wanted to find a way to somehow make you see things how they actually were, to see past your misplaced anger and your unfounded need for vengeance." He ran his finger around the rim of his cup. "When I heard you speaking that night I defected, it sounded you like you were truly distressed. And I thought to myself, I had failed you after all."

"That's ridiculous," Shinn burst out after a pause, his voice tense. "It was neither your fault nor your responsibility that I was," he searched for the word, "misguided."

"But it was," Athrun met his eyes evenly. "If I'd been able to make you accept the truth back then, so many things could have been different. Better."

"Why?" Shinn asked quickly. "I'd never been anything but hostile and insubordinate to you. Why would you have ever wanted to help me?"

Athrun chewed on the inside of his mouth thoughtfully. "It troubled me that you were being made to battle in such a way. You were controlled: by the Chairman, by Rey. You weren't fighting for a cause you yourself believed in, and that sort of mindless focus doesn't get anyone anywhere." He took a long sip. "No one should have to take up arms unless their purpose in fighting is clear to them. It only breaks them to pieces."

They sat in pensive silence. Shinn toyed with his spoon and then finally said what he'd been holding back.

"I know you think that I never listened to you," he told Athrun hastily. "I did. But I just didn't want to understand. What you said that evening on the deck before Gulnahan, about me wishing I'd had power long ago, the power to save my family – it was true. I remember you told me, 'Everyone who has cried over being powerless feels that way.'"

"I've cried enough for that reason," Athrun admitted quietly.

"So have I," Shinn added, and they locked gazes in an abrupt moment of mutual comprehension. "You don't have to apologize to me," he continued. "Late as it was, I don't think I ever would have come around had it not been for what you said and did at Messiah. You saved me from making even more mistakes."

"And for that I am glad." Athrun tapped his fingers against his cup. "I don't know if I'm allowed to say this, but I really am proud of you, Shinn. You've come very far."

"Thank you," Shinn responded sincerely and then there was nothing left to be said. He straightened in his chair and started buttoning up his collar. "Well, I have to be at headquarters in ten minutes."

"Oh, you should go." Athrun stood up to salute him off.

Shinn reciprocated the action, then added something just as he was stepping away. "I used to hate how you outranked me. It made me insufferably angry every time I thought of how I had to answer to you because you were a superior officer." He shrugged and gestured at the four stripes on Athrun's white-and-blue uniform. "Even if we were still in the same military, I don't think it would bother me anymore." He smiled slightly in farewell, and with a final salute was out the door.

notes: Here's a clipping I thought a lot of you would enjoy. It's from TV Tropes, which is one of the most addicting websites I've ever been on. Just look up their page on Gundam SEED, or any of your favorite TV shows/movies/books and enjoy an entire afternoon of not getting any work done. Anyway, here's what they have for Gundam SEED on the page for shipping wars:

"Gundam SEED would have been bad enough: Kira/Flay vs. Kira/Cagalli vs. Kira/Lacus vs. Kira/Athrun vs. Athrun/Cagalli vs. Athrun/Lacus (+ /- Yzak/Shiho vs. Dearka/Yzak vs. Dearka/Miriallia vs. Tolle/Miriallia, and Mu/Murrue vs. Andy/Murrue), but then Gundam SEED Destiny gave us Athrun's Harem, Shinn/Stellar vs. Shinn/Luna (+ /- Shinn/Rey), and Ship Sinking (and in one case, Ship Raising). Minefields aplenty for all."

I seriously laughed out loud.

Back to topic. I, for one, like Shinn. Opinions about him are very polarized but I think there is a lot to explore with his character.

NEXT PHASE: Meyrin was used to being overlooked by others. Next to Lunamaria, it was quite easy to do.