The Ice Prince Cometh

Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush or any of the characters.

Author's Note: Hey guys, been a while since I came up with a one shot (don't hit me!), but campus has been very, VERY stressful. If any of you are doing engineering out there, I salute you, my fellow sleepless workers. To the rest of you, please consider yourself lucky that you will never know the horrors we go through. Anyways, I want to send out a huge thank you to everyone who reviewed and alerted the last chapter, you guys are awesome. I know she might not read this, but this particular story is dedicated to kitaro. Enjoy ;)

"You're fucking kidding me" I murmured, surveying him with every single bit of intensity I could muster. Every inch of him was so composed, from the frosty line of his lips to the neatly set locks of brown crowning his head. Only the mahogany circles staring back at me showed any trace of emotion behind his words, just the hint of regret to prove he didn't mean this. "I'm sorry Kendall" he said quietly, his gaze never once wavering towards me. I hated when he did this – sometimes I felt like he'd push me on purpose just to see how much I'd break down. Maybe he felt I had to compensate for his own lack of emotions, or it could all be some sick game he loved to play with me: stringing me along until I couldn't bear it anymore. I'm ashamed to say I loved it all, and now he was ending it.

"After six years, you just want to end it like this?" He shook his head slowly, finally relieving himself of me looming furiously over his desk. The thunderous growl in my voice bounced off the office walls, penetrating him right through that thick skull of his. This wasn't so much an office as it was his castle, his kingdom. Here was where all the Mitchell power sat, four generations of businessmen made their mark and bathed themselves in every possible form of ambition… and now it was his turn to do the same. "If I had a choice, you know that I would choose you" he whispered softly, averting his gaze to the computer monitor in front of him. My palms lifted themselves off the oak desk only to slam them right back down. "There wasn't any choice from the start, was there you son of a bitch?" I snarled menacingly, feeling my head spin in crimson swathes of wrath. "I was just some fucking piece of tail that was 'convenient' for you to use whenever you wanted."

"Never."

"Then prove it." My eyes started to sting with tears, hiding away my indifferent prince from their vision. Damn it, why was everything so hard when it came to him? There had to come a time when he realized that things weren't simply a case of black and white. No one, not even this great ice monarch, could live so objectively forever. "Leave this behind, or tell your family about us, I don't care which one. Just don't cut me out like this."

"How do I tell them that their only son is in love with another man?"

"Don't start these fucking games again!"

"You don't understand it Kendall, you never did." I narrowed my eyes angrily at him; focusing every dizzying bit of rage I had towards the eyes that couldn't bring themselves to meet mine. My chest heaved in forced blasts, but none of it broke through the wall he put up. This wasn't something new – whenever the rest of the world was against him, he cut himself off from everyone, as if he was saving them from his own pain. There was nothing great about man; he was just another groomed business school graduate who hid behind a pricy suit: so why did I fall head over heels for someone who couldn't even try to bring himself to care about anything?

"This place is all I have" he murmured, tracing a single finger down the length of the keyboard in front of him. "Ever since I was a kid, this is all I've known. All twenty five years of my life, they come down to this, and I wouldn't have it any other way. But I can't be selfish. If my family did find out about us…" He paused to close his eyes wearily. "It's better if we end it now."

"I thought you were better than this."

"They're my family Kendall!" The rough bark in his voice caught me off guard, forcing me to flinch backward in surprise. Once again, the swirls of cocoa were directed at me, but this time they sparked with equal parts of frustration and sadness. At the end of it all, it wasn't fair to him either, but I had to know. "I can't just walk back home and tell everyone I'm gay! This entire company, it's no longer a dream for me, this is real!"

"Logan-"

"I have responsibilities that I have to think about, and maybe its time you do the same." He turned his head away once more. "Look, I love you, and I wish I didn't have to do this. Just… please, move on."

"You know I can't do that. Not without you."

-xoxoxoxoxo-

"Not without you" I said curtly, lacing my tongue with the heavenly bitterness of whiskey. The divine ribbons of alcohol burned away at my throat, but I didn't care. This was part of my punishment, a sentence that I'd probably carry out for the rest of my life. There'd be others, but never one like him. I smirked cynically at the bartender, lazily swirling the heavy glass in my hand. "And that's all there was to it. I went in there seeing red… and came out of there like a lost fucking puppy."

"Love makes us do stupid things dude" said the bartender sagely, taking away my glass for a refill. I propped my head against my hand thoughtfully, watching the liquid gold lithely pour itself against the thick bottom. "Has anyone ever told you what an idiot you are Carlos?"

"It's more of a hit and miss kind of thing. Some nights, I'm a genius, some nights I'm a fool, and some nights I'm just a rockstar."

"See, you said 'us'. I have yet to see another person make themselves as big an ass as I have for this guy." I gratefully took my replenished glass back from the curious Latino, letting a nostalgic sigh filter through the air. "Everyone told me not to fall in love with him. You know, apart from the fact that he came from money and his family's filled with raging homophobes; there was the whole emotionally repressed thing. It took him four years to say 'I love you' and even that was just for the sake of it."

"So why do you love him?" There it was; the billion dollar question. I smiled sadly to myself. Six years on, and I still couldn't bring myself to answer it. "He was… he is powerful. I can't explain it, but there's something that just draws everyone to him."

"And you had to have him?"

"You don't have to make it sound so slutty." I took another burning mouthful of whiskey. "It was more of a mutual thing. Two hurricanes coming together and tearing each other apart."

"Don't you mean a hurricane and a blizzard?" I nodded slowly. "He's everything to me. I don't know how to let go."

"Then don't." I turned my head around to see my beloved gracefully take the seat next to me, jerking his head politely at Carlos. "Vodka, straight up please."

"Come to rub it in?" I asked bitterly, staring straight at my glass. I saw him break into a small grin out of the corner of my eye. "You'll be glad to know that as of this afternoon, I am no longer the head of Mitchell Incorporated." My head cricked sharply towards him, in perfect synch with the rampant thump of my heart. The benign smile he wore was so foreign on him, yet he looked utterly at peace. "What?"

"I resigned an hour after you left, and just for effect, I told my family that I'm in love you."

"Why?" He cocked his head innocently, still wearing that serene smirk. "Do you remember the first time that I told you how I really felt about you? You got pissed because I didn't mean it."

"You didn't."
"I did. The thing was that you scared me. You still do." He leaned forward, letting his lips hover over my ear. "You can be anything you want to; you just have to think it up and it's yours. All I had was a bunch of stuffy conservatives and a company that was mine by default only. If I lost that, I wouldn't have anything else." I closed my hands and let out a rattled breath as I felt his hand slip tightly into my own. If he rejected me now, I'd be broken forever. "I didn't start dreaming until I met you" he murmured, sending shudders down my spine. "And I'm sorry I didn't realize it sooner." He reached out and twisted my head around to face him, his eyes swimming like they never did before. This was a completely different person, but I loved him all the more for it. "My name is Logan" he said softly. "And it's taken me six years to realize this, but if I don't have you with me, then I don't want that life at all. I love you."

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