AN: Hey! So again, thank you so much for all of the feedback. I'm sorry this took longer than expected, I had some temporary writers block. Anyway, I hope you enjoy!
Chapter 45
"Alright everyone, that's enough for today. See you all next week" My contemporary instructor Taylor sighed, wrapping up the cord to the small stereo in the far left corner of the room. Most of the class had been very uncooperative and lazy that Friday night, and I was just about as frustrated as Corrine. I changed out of my foot thongs and gathered my belongings, heading into the main lobby of the studio. To my surprise, instead of seeing Spencer as per usual, Emily was in his place.
"Oh, h-hey. Where's Spencer?" I asked, slightly taken back but definitely not disappointed.
"He's at the BAU catching up on the extra files Morgan slipped him, he won't be home till late so I figured we could hang around for a little while" Emily replied as I did a little dance inside my head, thrilled to spend the evening with someone other than a silent Spencer.
"Oh, yeah that sounds great" I said, grinning genuinely, something I had almost forgotten I had the capability of doing.
We exited the studio and arrived back at the apartment ten minutes later.
"I'll be right back, I need to get out of this spandex" I announced, retreating into my bedroom. For my contemporary dance class, we had to wear footless tights, black spandex shorts, and a white thick strapped tank top. Not only was I self conscious, but sweating underneath tights AND spandex was not exactly a comfortable experience.
I changed into a pair light grey sweatpants and a thick burgundy sweater. I had started to bundle up more and more when I was around the team, hoping they wouldn't notice my declining weight and make a huge stink about it like they had before.
"All better" I declared while joining Emily in the kitchen. She was unpacking items from a bag, and I moved closer to get a better look.
"I know you like diet, personally I don't understand how you bare the after taste but hey, I'm not the one drinking it" Emily said while retrieving a two liter bottle of diet ginger ale from the canvas bag. I was surprised she didn't force me to consume a regular soft drink like I had expected.
"Oh, thank you" I responded, analyzing the bottle then grabbing two cups from the cabinet. I filled mine the diet ginger ale and Emily's with pepsi.
Suddenly, I heard popping coming from the microwave.
"Um, I'll finish up in here, how about you set up the movie?" I asked Emily.
"Oh, sure sure. What movie should we watch?" Emily replied on her way out of the kitchen.
"Surprise me!" I shouted into the living room. Once Emily was searching through the DVD case underneath the television, I rummaged through the bag she brought over, hunting for the popcorn box.
"Newmann's Own Organic Popcorn, 100 calories per package and 1.5 grams of fat. Not too bad" I whispered to myself under my breath, biting my nubby nails. My thoughts were interrupted by the beeping of the microwave. I opened the inflated bag and emptied it into a light green plastic bowl, adding a touch of extra salt and shaking the container to mix it up.
"Alright, so what are we watching?" I requested as I joined Emily on the sofa, placing the popcorn in between us and taking hold of my glass icy drink.
"Back to the Future" Emily shot out before inhaling a hand full of popcorn. I giggled, then grabbing my own handful as well. I could vaguely see Emily's stare through my peripheral vision, but I disregarded it. I popped the morsels into my mouth two by two, chewing each bite ten times, then sipping my soda. As the movie progressed, I found myself loosing track of bites and chews. I panicked for a moment, then shoved that tormenting voice into the back of my head. Instead I got wrapped up in dialogue and various jokes and comments Emily and I exchanged.
"I don't think I could ever get sick of this movie" I stated as the film came to a close.
"I don't think anyone in their right mind could get tired of it" Emily laughed, then checking her watch.
"Wow, nine thirty already? Morgan must have slipped Spencer more files than I thought" Emily added, causing me to stand up abruptly and start cleaning up the mess we had made.
"Maybe he should do that more often" I blurted out with a straight expression, realizing it sounded a bit harsh.
"I take it things aren't going too well between you too?" Emily assumed.
"Well I'm not allowed to see my friends outside of school, I'm constantly under surveillance, he's enforcing this whole 'tough love' sort of thing, oh and we haven't spoken more than three words to each other since Monday night. So no, things aren't going well at all" I ranted with an aggravated tone. Emily placed her hand on my shoulder, generating an initial flinch on my end.
"I just hate how he's treating me so differently. As he finds out more about me, he acts as if I'm a different person. I'm not, I'm still Jenna" I added, running my hands over my face in a tired motion.
"I think you two need to talk" Emily replied as if she was hiding something, like our talk would reveal some sort of mystery that would explain his behavior. I was too drained to read into to, though.
"He should be home soon, I'll have a quick word with him before hand to make sure he doesn't come into it angry. Sound good?"Emily offered with caring eyes, eyes that I was very grateful to have help me through whatever issue came about.
"That would be splendid" I responded with large sigh, flopping back onto the couch. Of course, because I had just agreed to a discussion, I heard the jumbling of keys in the front door and the turning of the doorknob.
"Well looks like I don't have much time to prepare" I mumbled, shoving my face into a black throw pillow I took from my bed set.
I caught a glimpse of Emily getting up and walking over to Spencer, and they exchanged a few words. I could only make out a few of them since they were whispers, but that was all I needed.
"You got her to eat popcorn?"
"That's not important, I think you should tell her about..." Emily's voice dropped lower in volume, cutting off the end of her sentence. Spencer gulped, so I figured it couldn't be good.
"Alright, I should get going. Bye Jenna, I'll see you next week" Emily grinned and waved, then walked out of the apartment, leaving Spencer and I all alone. He dropped his bags and sat in the leather arm chair next to the sofa. The two of remained silent for a solid two minutes while Spencer stared intently at the carpeted floor.
"Tobias Hankel" He spoke up.
"Who?" I replied, scrunching my face with confusion.
"One year, seven months, three weeks and five days ago, we were on a case investigating a string of murders Georgia. We were searching for a team that called in the murder just before committing the act and broadcasted it on the internet" Spencer started, giving me a slight chill.
We came across Tobias Hankel, who at first we thought was innocent. One night JJ and I went to pay him a visit, and we figured out that it was him- he was the unsub. He ran, so we split up went around either side of the barn, a-and I went into the corn field to find him. Next thing I know I was hit square in the face" He continued, the air becoming tenser and tenser.
"I woke up in a barn, bound to a chair. You see, Tobias had three personalities: his own; his father, Charles; and Raphael. Raphael and Charles would switch off, beating and torturing me with a live video feed going straight to the team's location" Spencer's words had punched me directly in the chest.
"Tobias appeared now and then, taking care of me, acting kind. He, he-uh, he injected me with dilaudid, to-to ease the pain" Spencer took a deep breath.
"The team found me about three days later, while I was being forced to dig my own grave"
"Spencer..." I spit out, tears welling up in my eyes. I still wasn't sure what the story had to do with his behavior towards me, but I went along with it.
He cleared his throat, then continued.
"When Tobias was shot and killed, I took the left over dilaudid from his pocket"
My stomach churned.
"I didn't know how to cope, so I turned to the needle to do it for me. I struggled with the addiction for a few months, I actually got clean not too long before you arrived" Spencer let out a tiny smile, out of victory I assumed. I wasn't sure how long 'not too long before you arrived' meant, but I didn't push the matter.
I couldn't find the right words to say, instead my mouth just made shapes of syllables, but nothing came out. A few tears rolled down my cheeks, and I was too stunned to catch them.
Finally, I found the words.
"W-why didn't you tell me this earlier?" I managed through the lump in my throat.
"I was afraid you'd resent me" His distraught eyes met mine.
"Spencer, how could I resent you for something that took over your own control?" I replied lightly. I was familiar with addiction, not drug addiction exactly, but when it comes down to it addiction is addiction.
Spencer looked down in shame as I sniffled. It was then that I realized why he was being so rough towards me since the PCP incident: he was drugged against his will, and that advanced into a full blown dilaudid dependency. I was drugged involuntarily, and he was terrified that I would go down the same path he did.
"You're a smart kid Jenna, it's not that I don't trust you, it's just I know how easily judgment can be clouded when it comes to coping" He shot out. I reached over and grabbed his hand from his lap and took it into mine, surprising Spencer.
"Spencer, when I tell you I never want to touch anything that mind altering again, I mean it" I promised him genuinely. After a few seconds I let go of my grasp and sat back on my legs. A wave of exhaustion slapped my across the face, and I stood up to walk to my bedroom.
"I'm pretty sure you're just as drained as I am" I let out, sticking my hand out in front of Spencer, yanking him up from the chair. I wrapped my arms around his torso and squeezed, and he encased my upper body in his hold.
"Thank you for telling me" I said into his chest. He kissed the top of my head as he ran his fingers over my lengthy hair.
I went to bed that night with a stronger sense of who Spencer was, and why he did what he did. I slept soundly knowing that our relationship had finally been restored.