AN: Hey! So this is chapter 51. I'll be on vacation from Thursday to Sunday so I'm not sure when the next update will be, but hopefully I will be able to write and post within that time! Just giving fair warning. So, I hope you enjoy this one!
Chapter 51
"Jenna, eat" Spencer said forcefully while nudging the plate of scrambled eggs with a two slices of bacon on the side.
"I already told you, I'm not hungry" I repeated for the third time. He was holding me hostage at the kitchen table, bright and early on a Wednesday morning.
"You're body needs fuel" He stared me in the eye and leaned forward.
"I don't have time for this, I'm going to be late for school" I announced, grabbing the shoulder strap from my bag and standing up.
"Sit down I'll drive you" Spencer declared sternly. The two of us had been on edge for the past couple of days, but it was mostly my fault. I felt as if I was walking in a fog. My patience was wearing thin, I was constantly snapping at every little thing that ticked me off, I guess you could say my overall personality was taking a turn for the worst.
There was no particular reason, no outside influence. Only that I was letting my head envelope me in whatever it sought fit.
I could argue and say it was the increased stress from school and the anticipation of the cast list for Swan Lake being revealed in just three days, but I would only be lying to myself.
I sat back down with my arms crossed. "Eggs are extremely high in sodium and cholesterol, and also by eating them I run the risk of contracting salmonella" I began so matter-of-factly. "Bacon is dangerously high in fat and is incredibly processed, not to mention has been known increase the possibility of hypertension, CVD, COPD, asthma, and strokes." I explained. I was sure Spencer would come back with a contradicting my findings. To him I might have been acting irrational, but to me I was being just the opposite.
"Bacon is a major source of complete protein and a single serving of bacon can meet nearly 5% of total day's requirement. It's also rich in iron and helps prevent anemia. It contains a substantial amount of amino acids which aid in brain function"
"The folic acid and vitamin B12 present in eggs facilitate cell regeneration and prevent the occurrence of breast cancer. They're a good source of protein, omega-3, and calcium. They contain heart healthy cholesterol, and besides I doubt that we have to worry about you having high blood pressure. The vitamin A they also enclose have been known to support healthy hair and eyesight" Spencer shot back information I already knew, but purposely ignored. I sat across from him with a hard expression, making sure not to crack my poker face and scream.
"Eat or else I'll take your phone away" He purposed.
"Go ahead" I replied, knowing it was an empty threat and shrugging my shoulders. He narrowed his eyes and tapped his index finger and the solid wood surface.
"You're malnourished Jenna, you're destroying your body" He reported, no change in his demeanor. I scoffed and threw my head back, letting out a groan.
"Oh come on, I am not malnourished Spencer. Don't exaggerate" I retorted, standing up out of my seat once again, not glancing at his figure.
"I'm going to be late for school" I declared for the second time, looking at the clock and realizing if I didn't leave then I would miss my bus.
"What's gotten into you lately?" Spencer stated angrily, and I stood still thinking of an answer.
"That's a great question, I'll get back to you on that" I replied faintly snotty. Just as I was turning around to escape the apartment, Spencer grabbed me by the forearm. I winced at the initial shot of pain it caused when his palm collided with the two day old cuts, covered by the fabric of my school uniform. He pushed up my sleeve, unveiling the deep wounds trying their best to heal. I yanked myself away as fast as I could, but not fast enough.
Spencer's face reflected a mixture of anger, hurt, and confusion.
"I thought we talked about this" He said wearily.
"Just because we talk about something doesn't make the issue magically disappear" I retorted. I began to scare myself. I felt no guilt at the obvious pain in Spencer's face, and I had no problem talking back at his expense. I wasn't taking his feelings into account, no matter how hard I tried. I turned into an entirely different person when I was angry.
"That's it, I'm making you an appointment with a shrink" He gave up as I made my way to storm out of the apartment. I hesitated with my hand on the doorknob, then jerk it opened and journeyed to my bus stop.
My adrenaline wore off on the ride to school, and I went right back to feeling like a self-centered child. I despised myself for being so temperamental and losing control of my emotions, but I couldn't help it. It was as if something was taking over my being, and I was too weak to fight it off.
"There she is" Matthew greeted me at my locker with a large grin, planting a quick kiss on my lips. It had been just about a week since his gesture at the winter concert, and butterfly's still went wild in the pit of my stomach every time I saw him. My mood couldn't help but heighten in his presence. He was the only person who could make me feel like Jenna. He made sure I know it was entirely okay to show every side of me, dark and light. He accepted those parts, too.
"Well hello to you too" I giggled, shoving my English book into my messenger bag. My smile turned into a frown when I touched the pendant of my necklace, recalling how nasty I was to Spencer less than a half hour ago.
"What's wrong?" Matthew asked, catching my dissociation. I took a deep breath and shut my lockers.
"Just had another fight with Spencer" I confessed turning to him and leaning against the banks. He traced his index finger up and down my upper arm calmly, sending chills up my spine. It was a habit he adopted when I got worked up or distressed.
"Well what was it about?" He asked harmlessly. I paused before answering, debating whether to actually tell him or lie through my teeth.
"Uhm, the whole uh, food thing again..." I admitted, staring at the ground and wiggling my toes within my shoes.
Matthew didn't answer, giving me a moment to continue again. I knew my self-destructive behavior impacted him harshly, but he took pride in consoling me. He liked taking care of me, watching over me, making sure I was okay. It felt nice to have that sense of worth.
"He's sending me to a shrink, and I think he's serious this time" I laughed nervously. Spencer had threatened me with the whole 'you're-going-to-therapy-whether-you-like-it-or-no t' gig three times before, but I could tell it was his fourth and final stand.
"Is that such a bad thing? I mean, maybe it's a 'blessing in disguise' so to speak" Matthew piped up. He was right, maybe it wouldn't be too bad.
"I guess so" I sighed and stood up straight. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders, kissing the top of my head, and we proceeded down the hallway.