Authors note: This chapter moves much faster than the first. Still quite a bit of original dialogue, but that is soon to change. I just wanted to set up how Hawke met her two suitors, and her feelings for both. The story is about to progress. Stay tuned!
A whole year in servitude has come and gone, and let me say, it has not been an easy one. If I didn't know how to fight before I certainly do now. Working for Athenril had proven difficult many times, and many of her foes had to be slain in order for her to keep her "business" up and running. My family and I are no better off where we started. We are still living with Uncle Gamlen. A few days ago, Carver and I heard about a dwarf named Bartrand who is raising gold for an expedition, and has been hiring muscle for the journey. They are looking for treasures located in The Deep Roads, which is covered in Darkspawn. A dangerous task, but the rewards are worth the risk. Anything to get out of this hell hole.
Carver and I went to talk to this Bartrand, to offer our services, but he turned us down flat. Despite our experience fighting Darkspawn, he said we had nothing to offer him.
Walking through the Hightown market, Carver is letting me have it. Cursing my magic, he is upset we have to remain in hiding so I do not get caught, with the Templars everywhere. He's just looking for someone to blame right now. I sigh out, when I feel my side get lighter suddenly. I reach down, and my coin purse is gone. I turn around and see the thief running away, and Carver and I are on his tail. No need apparently. As we turn a corner, he is stuck to a wall, an arrow in his shoulder holding him in place. A dwarf with a cocky smile and a crossbow walk towards him, strutting with confidence.
"I knew a guy once who could take every coin out of our pockets just by smiling at you. But you, you don't have the style to work Hightown, let alone the Merchants Guild. Might want to find yourself a new line of work." The dwarf punched the thief in the face, before yanking his arrow out. I think I like this dwarf.
He introduced himself to us as Varric Tethras, Bartrand's brother. While working a year as a smuggler, it seems my name had been passed around, and Varric had heard of me. While his brother didn't see a use for me on the expedition, Varric saw otherwise. He informed my brother and I that we just needed to raise 50 gold to get in on the expedition. That was a lot more gold than either of us had, but there were a lot of people who needed help in Kirkwall, and Varric assured us we would find it in no time.
We also needed to find a good way into the Deep Roads. Apparently, there is a Grey Warden in town somewhere, we just needed to find him. I wasn't sure if a Warden would be willing to help us, and I certainly didn't want a fight from one. We had to find a Lotown woman named Lirene, she has been helping the refugees along with this Grey Warden. She would know where he is.
We found Lirene in a shelter in Lotown, running a hospital of sorts. It took awhile for us to prove that we were not a threat to her or the Grey Warden. We found out the Warden's name is Anders. He left the Grey Warden's, and is now helping those is Darktown, healing those who need it for no price. He's a mage, so it was important that his whereabouts were kept discreet. Well, now I could relate to this Healer. I'm sure I'd be able to find a way to get him to help us.
As Lirene spoke of this mage's ability to heal others, and doing so for free, I joked that if he had nice eyes I would marry him on the spot. This got a chuckle out of Lirene. She said he definitely had the eyes, but she had never seen him smile. She gave us the directions to his Darktown clinic, and off we were.
The door was open to Anders' clinic when we arrived, so Carver, Varric, and I stepped inside. There he stood, hovering his hands over a sick child, blue magic emanating from his body. Lirene never mentioned how handsome this man was. He was tall and muscular, and approximately in his early thirties, no more than ten years older than myself. He has blonde hair that was tied off of his face, and golden eyes that were in a serious state. As he waved his hands a few more times, the child sat up gasping for air. Wow, he really was a healer.
Anders had his back turned to us as we approached, he quickly turned around and yelled "I have made this place a sanctum of healing and salvation, why do you threaten it?"
He thought we were Templars. His staff was out in front of him, in a protective stance.
"I want to know about the Deep Roads." I informed him.
"Did the Wardens send you to bring me back? I'm not going. Those bastards made me get rid of my cat. Poor Ser Pounce A Lot. He hated the Deep Roads." I wanted to laugh, this powerful mage had a cat, named Ser Pounce A Lot of all things? I had to stifle a chuckle inside of me.
Anders told us he came to Kirkwall to escape the Wardens, and to help a friend of his, a fellow mage named Karl. He would give us his maps to the Deep Roads if we aided him. His friend was a prisoner of the circle. They had been conversing through letters, and Anders wanted to help him escape. He sent Karl a message to meet him in the Chantry tonight. That's what his terms were, help free his friend from the Templars, and the maps would be ours. A hefty price, but one we needed. I had to get on that expedition. Besides, I could bare to spend some more time with this man. Something about him made me feel tingly and warm, and I wanted to know him more. Whether it was because he was selflessly healing those in need, his strong body, or his love for felines, I don't know. I could tell he was worth knowing. We agreed to meet him at the Chantry after sun down.
I went back home for a few hours to rest before we met Anders. This could be a long fight, and I needed my energy for it. I also wanted to freshen up a little. I had butterflies in my stomach, and I was nervous. Not because we could be facing Templars, but because I was excited to see him again. I gazed into my hand held mirror to appear at my reflection. My short black hair fell around my fore head, my cheeks were flush, and my blue eyes tired. I went over to my stash of belongings and grabbed a few cosmetics to liven my complexion up. My mother taught me at a young age how to look "lady like" which she told me would be very important when I became the marrying age. I was more interested in learning magic lessons from my father, but I was glad my mother taught me a thing or two.
Carver, Varric, and I gathered Aveline from the Viscounts Keep where she resided. I didn't tell her our plan until we left.
"You can't be serious Hawke."
"Come on Aveline, do it for an old friend."
"Do you know how much trouble we could get into if the Templars find out we're helping a mage of the circle escape?"
"I assume not much more trouble than you'd get in, if they find out Hawke is an apostate," Varric added.
Aveline was flustered with us. "Fine, but don't rely on me to help you again with matters of these sorts."
We arrived at the Chantry after dark. There he was, standing at the entrance. My heart fluttered inside of me as I walked up to him. His face was worry stricken and he looked ill.
Anders worst fears were confirmed. It was a trap. Karl had already been made tranquil, nothing left to him. The Templars found Anders' letters, and they set up the meeting to arrest him.
"No!" Anders yelled in disbelief, so much pain in his voice. We were now surrounded by a dozen Templars. He quickly fell to his knees and covered his face. He started to shake, and a blue light covered his body, black smoke surrounded him. He lifted his head up, and his eyes were no longer soft, but a blinding blue light replaced them. His voice was deep, and demonic.
"You will never take another mage as you took him!" He screamed, jumping up. Shit, what have I gotten myself into? Was he an abomination, a blood mage? I couldn't tell, but the fight was on.
I underestimated his power, he was a very powerful mage, and between the five of us, it took no time for us to clear out the Templars. I was relieved, as soon as our battle had ended, Anders returned to his usual state. What the hell was that?
His friend Karl had also returned to normal, but it didn't last. He told us that soon he would revert to being a tranquil. He said it was a dark prison in his own mind, and he would rather die than go back. He asked, no begged, Anders to end it. Anders looked with such hesitation and despair at his friend, to whom he was clearly very close to. Within seconds, Karl reverted back to a tranquil.
"Why do you look at me like that?" The tranquil asked.
"Goodbye," Anders said as he approached Karl, and with a quick swift of a blade to his stomach, he ended Karl's life. And with that, we all left the Chantry, and headed back to Anders clinic.
The walk back to his clinic was a quiet one. We all had questions for Anders, but we were too scared to ask at this point. When we finally reached the destination I followed Anders to confront him. He told us everything about how he got his unusual ability. When he was in Amaranthine he met a spirit of Justice that was trapped outside the fade. He and Anders both wanted to help the mages. They became one, and once they merged, Justice changed, and became a part of Anders. They were now one being, and sometimes, when mages become threatened, the spirit, who is no longer a spirit of Justice but a spirit of Vengeance, was hard to be controlled.
I stood there, taking all of this information in. When most would probably be uncomfortable, or a little frightened with this information, I found myself utterly intrigued. He was a fellow mage, that wanted to make a real difference in this world. He knew all the struggles and hardships that I was burdened with. I had not made a friend in any other mages in Kirkwall since my arrival, and it was nice to finally meet one, especially one with such a good heart. I could look past everything he told me, because I already knew, he was a good man. I had been so lonely since the blight, I longed to meet someone like myself that I could turn to. Maybe Anders was my answer. I decided to ignore the butterflies in my gut, and make an advance towards him.
"So, that explains your whole sexy, tortured look."
Anders looked at me, taken back by what I had just said. "Perhaps I should check a looking glass more often. I had not thought to ever find a woman who would look past what I just said." He gave me a smile, and I could feel my heart leap into my throat. His smile was just lovely, and so kind. "My maps are yours. As am I, if you wish me to join your expedition. I thought I was done with the Grey Wardens, but if you have any need of me...I will be waiting here." Any need of him, hmmmm. My mind wandered to all sorts of places it shouldn't have, and I blushed right then and there.
"I am more than grateful for your help. Thank you Anders. It's so nice to finally meet another mage."
"Likewise." He smiled, and I gave him a wave goodbye as we left.
I awoke the next morning still thinking of Anders. He really had a hold of my thoughts, and I couldn't seem to get him out of my mind. I wanted to see him again, but I didn't want to seem too eager or forward. I needed to think of a good cover story. What about his clinic? I'll offer to give him a helping hand, how could he see past that? I thought to myself. I arrived at his clinic by mid day, at a time where he conveniently had no patients to help. As soon as he saw me, he grinned and walked over.
"I thought I would stop by, see if you needed any help around here. "
"Thank you Hawke, that is very thoughtful of you to offer. Actually, I wanted to talk to you." He was thinking of me? "I got a bit weighty the last time we talked. Sorry for putting that on you."
I smiled at him "It's really not a problem, I understand that it must have been hard on you to confide in me. I must look trustworthy."
"You look...something. True. Proud. Like even if you don't agree with me, you'll be honest. Sorry, I shouldn't presume. I just...we've hardly met and I feel like I know you. Am I making you uncomfortable?" Now I was really blushing.
"Doesn't mean I want you to stop."
"I'll keep that in mind," his voice raised as he said this, and I couldn't help but think of how much I loved hearing him talk like this.
" I just, I hope I didn't seem too selfish when I told you about Justice. "
"Well, he can't complain about his looks, anyway." The words escaped me before I could stop it. Oh Marian, whatever happened to not seeming too eager?
"No, don't go there. That's not going to end well. I don't want to hurt you." The eyes that were beaming at me a second ago now were filled with such worry, and sadness. I could see the frown lines that circled his eyes. "You saw what I did in the Chantry. That's who I am. A year ago, maybe we could have had something. But I'm not that man anymore. I'll break your heart. And that might kill me as surely as the Templars."
Ouch. It felt as if he already broke my heart. One second, he was hopelessly flirting and making me believe he felt as I did, but now, this...this rejection.
"Well, if that's what you think is best." I said quietly, head down, not able to look into his eyes.
"It pains me to say it, but yes, I do."
"Shame, I really thought, even in this short time, I could really be with you."
"Hawke, please. Don't take this the wrong way. Looking at you, I mean, look at you. Who would not want to be with someone as beautiful as you? I just, it's complicated. I am not the kind of man you want to fall in love with. Trust me. I'm not the one for you. But if you wish, I will still fight at your side, and help you, any time you need me."
"Sounds fair enough. Thanks for your honesty Anders. I appreciate it." And with that, I left. I felt like an utter fool, and completely disappointed. So much for finding love with another mage. I guess I would have to look elsewhere. I wasn't desperate, by any means, and I had plenty of men make advances towards me, but I just thought there was a real connection with Anders. I suppose I was wrong.
Over the next few weeks, I had met a few other companions to help me with the expedition. I still had to deliver the amulet from Flemeth. When I arrived at the Dalish camp, I was pointed to an elf named Merrill. She was to lead me to place to amulet past a grave yard. We discovered she was a blood mage, and I discovered how much Anders despised blood mages. She and him hit it off on a bad note right from the start. There was something about Merrill I instantly liked. She was very naive, as she had never been around humans. She said so many things that were downright ridiculous, and you could not use any sarcasm around her, because it would go right over her head. And the blood magic... it was incredibly foolish. But still, she was a sweet girl with a big heart. After we completed the amulet ritual, we discovered the Flemeth had been inside the amulet the whole time. That witch, what would have happened to her if I just kept the amulet to myself? Where would she be now? Merrill bowed to her feet, clearly the Dalish worshipped her.
Merrill's keeper had requested that I lead Merrill to her new home in Lotown. It appeared that she was leaving her clan, which many of the elves seemed none too pleased about. We took her to Lotown and showed her around. She was dismayed at how her new home looked, but I promised her I would visit soon to make sure she got settled in.
Another time, when I went to visit Varric at his suite in The Hanged Man, a pub located in Lotown, I met a woman named Isabela. She was in the middle of a fight between several men. I was about to step in to help her, but it was clear she did not need any. She was a voluptuous woman, and she definitely dressed to show off her figure. She knocked out all the men who attacked her, with what seemed to be no effort at all. I was impressed. She told me she was Captain Isabela, a pirate who was stranded here because her ship was wrecked. She was stuck in Kirkwall, which was something I could sympathise with.
I later helped her resolve an issue with a man named Hayder. She had arranged to have a duel with him, but was afraid he would not play fair and needed some back up. I had Varric, Carver, and Anders tag along. Isabela was right, they had outnumbered her by many, and she surely would have been defeated without our help. She thanked me and let me know she could help us out if we needed her.
Very quickly after meeting the pirate, it was quite known that she was very experienced in the matter of love. And no, I don't mean flowers and chivalry type of love. She loved to bed both men and women, sometimes at the same time, and frequently. She had no shame in her promiscuity, and the topic of sex came up every time we were with her. I had admired her, both her mind and her body. She had the perfect hour glass figure, and I would never imagine wearing the type of outfits she chose. But it suited her well, and I enjoyed her company.
One day, we were walking along the Wounded Coast, a shore where many thugs and bandits liked to attack passersby. We were leaving after clearing out an area of these miscreants, when Anders spoke up.
"I keep thinking I know you from somewhere..." he pointed to Isabela.
"You're Fereldan, right? Ever spend time at the Pearl?" she asked him.
"That's it! You used to really like that girl with the griffon tattoos, right? What was her name?"
"The Lay Warden?"
"That's right! I think you were there the night I— "
"Oh! Were you the runaway mage who could do that electricity thing? That was nice... "
"Please stop talking. Now." I demanded. I could not stand the thought that Anders had once bedded Isabela, the thought made my head hurt. I kept waking ahead of them, looking down. Despite being insanely jealous, my interest had been piqued again. Electricity thing? So that means in bed, he uses electricity to pleasure a woman. Now I was even more curious about him. Damn Isabela, you just had to open your mouth again, didn't you? I needed a distraction. If I couldn't be with Anders, even if just for a night, I needed a new diversion. All this time being spent in his presence, knowing I could never have him, it was driving me mad. I needed something new to focus on. Little did I know, I would find it sooner than later.
I returned home one afternoon to one of Gamlen's foul moods, as if he was ever in a good one.
"Bloody hell girl, another letter came for you. You get more damned letters than I do."
"Jealous of my new found popularity, Uncle?"
"Bah!" He mumbled and took off in the other room.
I opened the letter on the desk and immediately recognised the writing. It was from Athenril.
"Hawke,
You might be interested in something that's come up. A contact of mine, a fellow by the name of Anso, is asking around for someone competent regarding a job, and I suggested you. He's always paid well, so if I were you, I'd check into it before someone else snaps it up. He said he'll be in the Lotown Bazaar at night."
Just what I needed, a job that would pay well. I had to take this opportunity. That night I gathered Varric, Carver, and Anders to meet up with this Anso. Lotown is a very dangerous place at night, so better to come prepared. The dwarf Anso needed help retrieving property in an house not far by. When we arrived at the location, there was a box, but it was empty. I was beyond annoyed that my time had been wasted. My companions and I left the house, only to see eight Tevinter Hunters surrounding us. They said they were expecting an elf, but because we were there, they were going to kill us anyways. Not on my watch. I casted a firestorm around the enemies, while Anders shot them with electricity. Varric stayed back, using his crossbow, who he liked to call Bianca. Carver stayed to the front, swinging his sword left and right. It took us awhile, but we cut our way through the hunters. We turned a corner to walk up the steps, when there was another hunter standing before us.
"Lieutenant, I want everyone in the clearing, now!" he yelled. Great, there were others. Just what we needed. A man came staggered out behind him, , blood splattering everywhere. "Captain," he gasped out, then fell to the ground, dead. Out from the corner stepped a very tall, very attractive elf. He had white hair, the colour of snow, and piercing hazel eyes. His body was marked with strange tattoos everywhere.
"Your men are dead, and your trap has failed. I suggest running back to your master while you can."
"You're going nowhere slave!" The hunter yelled and grasped onto the elf's shoulder. He whipped around and lunged his hand right through the hunter's chest, ripping out his heart in one swift movement. The man quickly fell over. "I am not a slave," muttered the elf. He came over, to thank us for our help. We were all intrigued. His name was Fenris, a former Tevinter slave. He had escaped his former master, a powerful Magister named Danarius, and now was being hunted down. He hired Anso to provide a distraction, which is what we were hired for. I asked him if his tattoos had anything to do with this Danarius.
"Yes, I imagine I must look strange to you. I did not receive these marking by choice. Even so, they have served me well. Without them, I would still be a slave." Well, that explained how he was able to rip that hunter's heart out.
"You didn't need to lie to get my help," I said. I was irritated at first that it was a deception, but after hearing Fenris' story, I felt bad for him. It was clear he had a rough life, and needed my assistance. I for one, would not turn him away, after hearing the story of his escape. Of course, it helped that he was so nice to look at.
"That remains to be seen." Fenris explained that his former master was in the city. He said he needed our help, and that he would repay us somehow. "Please, I am not used to asking for help, but I am asking now. Danarius will never stop hunting me. This is my only chance. I cannot do it without you."
We agreed to accompany him to a mansion in Hightown, where he would be staying. When we arrived at the mansion, much to Fenris' dismay, Danarius already fled the scene. But, without saying, he left all kinds of abominations and demons in his place. We fought for a good hour, and by the end of it, I was exhausted. Anders and I both needed to take several mana potions to keep ourselves able to keep casting spells. I was overjoyed when it was over. Fenris had taken off before we did, telling us we could loot the house for valuables. I found a few items I would be able to trade in for gold the next day. At least we wouldn't be leaving empty handed.
As soon as we left the mansion, I heard Fenris' voice again. He was standing at the corner, waiting for us.
"It never ends. I escaped a land of dark magic only to have it hunt me at every turn. It is a plague burned into my flesh and soul. And now, I find myself in the company of even more mages."
"Ah, here it comes," Anders remarked sarcastically. Fenris took a few steps closer to me.
"I saw you casting spells inside. I should have realised sooner what you really were. I'm not blind. I know magic has its uses, and there are undoubtedly mages with good intentions. But even the best intentioned mage can fall prey to temptation, and then their power is a curse to inflict upon others."
"Considering all the curses inflicted on us, I'd say it's an even trade," Anders said in a calm matter this time.
"I imagine I appear ungrateful. If so, I apologize, for nothing could be further from the truth. I did not find Danarius, but I still owe you a debt. Here is all the coin I have, as Anso promised. Should you find yourself in need of assistance, I would gladly render it." He handed me over the coin. I asked him why Danarius wanted to capture him so desperately, it seemed a whole lot of work for just one slave.
"He doesn't want me at all, just the markings on my skin. They are lyrium, burned into my flesh to provide the power that Danarius required of his pet. Now, he wishes his precious investment returned, even if he must rip it from my corpse." This poor man, I was so relieved I had helped him, even if it got him nowhere. I know he needed a friend to turn to, and I was willing to be that friend, maybe more. Something about him had me intrigued. What was it with me, and men with dark pasts?
"Seems like a waste of a perfectly handsome elf," I joked, to lighten to atmosphere after such a dismal talk. Fenris let out a chuckle, but stopped himself quickly. He told us he would be staying at the mansion, as it was abandoned for now. After that, we all went our separate ways.
I lay awake that night, worried for Fenris. Was leaving him at that mansion alone such a good idea? What if Danarius came back? I had to check on him to make sure he was okay. I knew it was dangerous getting there on my own, but I was determined. Thankfully, I was undetected by any thugs that were in the area.
I walked up the steps to the mansion and took a deep breath. It was very late, and I didn't want to disturb him in case he were safe and in bed. Well, I didn't come all the way here for nothing, I thought to myself. I knocked on the door a few times. A moment later, Fenris peeked out from behind the door.
"H..Hawke? What are you doing here at this hour?" I suddenly felt foolish.
"Oh, Fenris, I just wanted to check on you, make sure you were safe."
"Yes, I am well. Come on in, it's not safe for you to be out at this hour." I entered the house that we had battled in, not more than 4 hours prior. Fenris lead me up the stairs to take a seat with him. He grabbed a bottle of wine to pour for us. He went on to tell me how Danarius used to make him pour wine at events for his guests, because his appearance frightened them, which Danarius enjoyed.
"I can't imagine why they would be put off," I said, and I genuinely meant it. I had never found myself attracted to an elf before, but Fenris was different. And those markings, something about them had me mesmerised. Fenris smiled at me, his hazel eyes softening.
"You say what's on your mind, I'll give you that." Fenris and I sat together, and discussed our previous lives. I told him of my life in Fereldan, and my family. He discussed the horrible tasks that Danarius would have him perform, and the torture he endured. His memory had been wiped clean, the first memory he had was of him getting the lyrium branded into his skin. Everything before that he could not remember. For the past three years, he had been on the run. I was beginning to really understand why he had such a distaste for mages. And yet, here I was sitting with him, drinking his wine, and conversing for hours. Maybe I would be able to change his mind, and show him not all mages are dangerous.
"If you're looking to start a life, you could stay."
"I could see myself staying, for the right reasons." Everything in this statement was so suggestive, so alluring. I couldn't help but blush. He caught on to this and chuckled, and poured me another glass of wine.
"Had I known Anso would find me a woman so capable, I might have asked him to look sooner."
"Maybe I should be thanking Anso."
"Maybe you should."
It was soon dawn, and it was safe enough for me to return home on my own. I thanked Fenris for his hospitality, and he thanked me for my concern for his well being. As I left the mansion, the sun was coming up, and the merchants were already getting their wares ready for the day. A smile remained on my face the entire walk home. Things were starting to look up. I embraced this change readily, as I was ready to move on with my life.