Lead Me Back to Normalcy
A/N: Yes, another chapter guys! Hopefully a little more uplifting than the previous chapters! I should also mention that this story will be changing its rating as it progresses and will most likely end up under "M" for mature subject material. Norse mythology can get pretty gritty as I've learned over the pass few days.
On a lighter, much happier note, thank you guys again to everyone who has reviewed, faved, or put this story underneath their alerts! I really expected this story to go flat after the first chapter, but you're support has kept it alive! As a result, I have chapter five finished, and six will be done by noon today!
The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love.
Chapter Four: To be happy Again
Thor stood next to Sigyn, watching as she continued to poor over Loki's notes he had gathered over the centuries. There was no doubt that his brother had managed to rub off on the young woman. She stood erect like Loki and licked the tip of her finger before turning a page over. Even in her summer dress, she sported Loki's favorite colors of green and black; however, what caught his attention were the long sleeves. Summer was in full blossom and the heat from the dress had to unbearable. Thor's stomach churned at what could have caused her to dress in those clothes. The god felt pity for her.
Sigyn had shown such progress over the pass few weeks. She had gained weight and taken up to socializing. Rumor had it that a young warrior by the name of Theoric had taken a fancy to the widow. For the first time she seemed to glow like sunlight on the snow again. But today she did not shine. She kept herself in the shadows, still unaware of Thor's presence. His eyes fell to the paper she was reading. Small drops of blood had accumulated from when she ran her finger between the lines.
"The wound again?" he inquired, motion his head to her left wrist.
Sigyn lifted her head in despair. "Yes," she answered. "The summer winds have been detrimental to it's healing. It burns as if a fire is being held next to my skin." She pushed her chair back and stood before the prince. "Aside from that I have been well, Thor. Going through Loki's notes is tedious at times and interesting at others." She strode towards him with a forced smile upon her face. "What brings you here?"
"I heard tale that you were in my brother's room and came to investigate," he answered honestly. "You have not been in here for quite some time. I feared you had had a dream of him again." Thor watched as she pulled her sleeve down farther to wipe the blood from her hand. She glanced down at her hand before noticing Thor's watchful stare.
Sigyn walked slowly to the bed. She petted the cover with the palm of her hand like it was an animal. "I have not dreamed of Loki in weeks; not until last night," she replied softly. She sighed as she sat on the bed. Thor came beside her and placed his hand upon her shoulder. "It was memory of the day of my marriage. I have been pondering it over today as I have gone through Loki's notes. I am a widow, but I feel as if I am still married. My heart still loves Loki as it always shall, but I feel conflicted about Theoric."
"Why?" Thor questioned. "He fancies you yes, but to fancy someone is no crime."
"He proclaimed he loves me after just one meeting," Sigyn confessed. "He speaks of wanting marriage and children. I do not want such things. I had my marriage with Loki, and I wanted my children with Loki. I do not even lust for this man like he does me." She ran her hand through her hair in a nervous manner. "The only time I have wanted him is when I have imagined him as Loki." Her eyes looked to Thor for aid, advise, anything he would give.
"You want out of Asgard?" he asked bluntly.
She nodded. "Yes because everywhere I turn I see Loki," the princess whispered. "I have accepted my role as widow, but it does not keep his ghosts away. They attack me whenever possible." Her voice was becoming weak as the sobs began to drain away her energy. "I just know that I am losing it, Thor. I cannot deal with Loki's loss. I cannot. I can no longer keep food down without it coming back up within the hour." She rubbed her sleeve over both her eyes to wipe away the tears. "I am dying here, Thor," she sobbed.
Thor wrapped her arm around her back and brought her onto his lap. "You are not dying, Sigyn. You are sick because someone is courting you. I know as a woman that remarrying is frowned upon here, but given your youth, you have the opportunity to be happy," he explained. Her eyes were narrow, glaring at him with frustration. "I promised you that I would help you out in a year's time. Until then, I will aid in anyway possible but leaving Asgard."
"Do you have no desire to see Jane?" Sigyn asked.
"Why would I not?" Thor asked sharply.
"Because you have not spoken of Jane in over a month. Now, you are complacent to let her wait for you," she retorted. She pushed herself onto her feet. "I talked to Heimdall, and he said you had not even checked upon Jane in nearly six weeks." Sigyn sat into her chair, licked her finger, and turned the page to read Loki's notes further. "I know you fancy Sif and she you. I have heard your moans as I have walked through the hallways at night. That is no excuse for leaving Jane to wait, Thor. She is waiting for you like I did Loki. At the very least you deserve to tell her that you have someone else."
Thor pinched his nose and told himself to breath slowly in and out. "How—" He tried to begin. "How can you think that I forget Jane, Sigyn?" His words were frank, and he sounded hurt by her accusations. "I wish nothing more than to be with Jane, but Asgard has need of me. All Father is not well and I will be stepping up to take his place soon." Thor pushed Loki's papers back and forced Sigyn to stare him in the eyes.
"That does not justify you being a womanizer, Thor," she spat.
"I have not been a womanizer!" he retorted viciously. "I have been beside you every night, Sigyn. I have not been in my room at night since the night you asked me to keep you company. I have been beside you to watch you sleep."
Sigyn was quiet. Her large eyes stared at him, terrified of his news. Like the shy girl she was, the princess looked away. "You—you have stayed be every night?" she repeated to herself. "Why would you do that? She curled her legs onto the air and placed her arms around them like she did when she felt defensive.
"Sigyn," he spoke calmly. Thor cupped the left side of her face with his hand. "I have slept beside you because it is what you asked—it is what my brother would have asked. My brother lies on the other side and is unable to care for you. So I will care for you until you may reunite with him in the afterlife, Sigyn." He gently stroked her high cheekbones, marveling at her soft skin, but it was not enough to stop her sobs. Thor easily picked her up in his arms and carried her to the bed.
He noticed the blood still trickled from her hand. Thor slowly rolled the sleeve up her arm and followed the blood. The higher he rolled the sleeve, the heavier the blood became. At the top of her arm he saw the blue skin of a frost burn. Towards the center it became black from dead skin and red from the blood that came. The longer he stared, the more the wound looked like a partial handprint from a frost giant. "This is your wound?" he asked. "Where in the world did you get this?"
It took the goddess a moment to choke back the sobs before she could answer. "I—I—I got it the night they came for Odin. They mistook my room for Odin's. In their rage, one try to grab me," she explained. "I screamed, but Loki did not come until he had slain Laufey. He—he saw it, Thor, but he did nothing. He ye—yelled a—a—at me. A—a—an—and he left me. Lo—lo—ki—" The sobs choked her again.
Thor stroked her back, trying to sooth her failing heart. Soon her curled up next to her and acted her blanket. "Loki left you, but only because he had gone mad. He loved you. You were the greatest thing to have happened to him, Sigyn. I cannot tell you how many times he said you stole his heart at first glance when you were but eight years old," Thor recalled. "I remember laughing at him since we were both eighteen and seventeen. You were but a child and he a grown man; not to mention, he had his way of getting around with the ladies of this house. I laughed when he said you were his wife—well, future wife then.
"Honestly, no one took Loki seriously; I know we and Njord believe Loki to be playing another trick. I remember watching him perform magic trick after trick for you. I had never seen my brother so enthralled before that moment. Anytime we journeyed somewhere, he would bring you back a token," Thor continued. "I had never, ever in my life seen my brother as eager as the day when you agreed to marry him. I half expected him to leave you at the altar, but he was there. He never was far from you."
"Until you took them to Laufey's realm," she breathed. "He changed after that." Sigyn rolled in his arms to her other side. She curled herself into a tighter ball, head between her legs and her arms wrapped around her chest. From beneath where she lay, her blood began to stain the covers red. She opened her mouth, but hesitated for a moment. "I—I have heard tale that Loki is one of them, and he did not know until he was there. Is that true?"
"I told you not to listen to the rumors," Thor insisted. "People will speak ill of Loki simply because he—"
"I did not hear this from some guard, Thor," Sigyn cried. "I heard this from All Father. I heard him yesterday morning as I pass to his room to greet him. I overheard him speaking of regrets and never telling Loki. He says that by not telling me of Loki's heritage, that under the agreement with Njord, my marriage is annulled. I am free to finally leave Asgard." Words escaped her mouth as she struggled to breath. "Is that true, Thor? Was Loki one of them? Was he?" she yelled through a cracking voice.
"Will it really change how you feel about my brother?" Thor asked bluntly.
Her stomach rolled over and made the noose around her heart tighten to the point of nausea. "Yes!" she screamed. Her body froze in his arms as sharp pains shot through her abdomen and to her limbs. "Because as one of them, he deserves no love, only death. I can learn to not love him as one of them, and I will for Earth with or without you, Thor. I cannot stomach to stay here much longer when I live in a house that does not tell me the truth. I do not fit in here."
"And what will you do?" Thor asked. "Earth is a dangerous realm. You will not be worshipped there as we once were, Sigyn." He pulled her tighter to him to show her that he was not the enemy; his was her family. Thor breathed into her crown with deep, thoughtful breaths. "I know you are in pain here," the prince whispered. "It and sadness are something that has been in your bones since you were little, so do not let it consume you." He barely felt her breath on his skin. "I will help you find a passage to Earth, but I will not leave you alone. I cannot honorably do that."
"Then I will make a compromise with Theoric," Sigyn spoke quickly. "I will marry him if only we are allow to live on Earth." Her voice, though horse and cracked, had a thin lining of strength behind each word. She slowly unfurled from her ball and out of Thor's arms. She stood on the edge of the bed, looking as if she were ready to jump off a cliff. She turned her head towards Thor, her eyes looking for his acceptance. "Will that do, Thor?"
He nodded. "Yes," he answered with neither joy nor sadness in his voice. "But first—" Thor stood up and then quickly turned around to swoop the sick princess into her arms. "Let's go the healing room. I have a feeling these ghosts you are seeing are from your wound spreading poison to your mind. Will that be okay?"
Sigyn nodded before gently placing a kiss on Thor's cheek. "Thank you," she whispered.
With a smile he replied, "You're welcome, Sigyn." He was careful to mind her head as she carried out of the room and down the corridor. From behind Thor could feel Sif's eyes gunning him down like he was an enemy. As he turned the corner, he caught a glimpse of her standing with arms folded across her chest, hair pulled tight into a ponytail, and a scowl upon her rounded face.