I woke up with an aching back and neck. I had forgotten momentarily where I was. It was now morning, and light was creeping into the clinic. I looked over, and Anders was sleeping hunched over in a chair. I sat up, and my movement caused him to open his eyes. He smiled at me, his entire face lighting up.

"Now there's a sight I could get used to waking up to," he said coyly.

"Anders, you didn't have to sleep in that chair. There was more than enough room beside me, and this is your place after all."

"Had I known you were willing to have me next to you, I would have not hesitated." I grinned at him, and then felt another stiff spot in my neck. I winced, and rubbed it with my hand.

"Oh yes, I should have mentioned. That cot does tend to give you a crick in the neck. I've gotten used to it by now. Here, let me help." Anders walked up behind me, and lightly placed his hands and the base of my neck. I could feel the warmth of his healing, a sensation that I had become accustom to over the years of battling beside him. Instantly, I felt much better.

"Thanks," I said as I stood to my feet.

"I guess I'll be seeing you later then?"

"I'll find you when I need you."

"I hope that it's sooner than later."

I left his clinic to go home and sleep some more. I was still feeling tired, and needed to get extra rest before I headed to visit the Viscount later. I had put it off for too long, and although my head was still a mess, I was feeling slightly better. It felt so nice talking with my friends about what had happened. I was still terrified of seeing Fenris again. I felt a ball of anxiety creep through me and felt sick to my stomach again. Every time I thought of him my nerves got the best of me and I felt like I had a stomach virus. I really needed to rest now. When I got home, I went straight to my room. My mabari hound Rufus followed me, and jumped up onto my bed. As I lay down, he licked my face and grunted. I smiled and stroked his ears, right before drifting to sleep.

I woke up a few hours later, feeling much better. I was able to eat a small meal, my first in a few days. My mother smiled and stroked my hair as we ate together. I hadn't seen her smile like this for awhile, and I suddenly felt guilty for making her worry about me. She had enough worry and grief over these last few years, I really didn't need to add to her problems by staying in bed days on end moping over a silly boy who wouldn't like me back. I felt sick again, thinking of him just was not good for my stomach. I tried to think negatively about him, hoping it would make me feel better, but it wasn't. I needed to get out, to keep myself busy.

I excused myself from the dining table, and went out to see the Viscount. As I stepped out of my front door, I saw a bouquet of pink Azalea flowers sitting there. They were beautiful. I leaned over to pick them up, and before I could read the note attached, I saw an all too familiar figure with white hair pass by. I stopped immediately, almost dropping the flowers. Fenris paused, and turned to me. His eyes cast over to me and he started to come forward, but then stopped himself.

"Hawke." One word, my name. He said it in such a monotonous tone, but even then, my heart still leapt to my throat. I noticed, attached to his arm, was my red handkerchief from the night we had slept together. He had kept it. Had it meant something to him, after all this time of doubting his feelings? Was he hurting just as much as I had been? I looked at him, and then to the flowers in my hand.

"These flowers, are they..."

"No." he answered sternly, even before I could finish my question, crushing my hopes of a reconciliation. My heart dropped, feeling an immense amount of pain immediately. He just so happened to be walking by as I came out to find the flowers, of course. He made it perfectly clear that he did not want to finish what we had started.

"I was just heading to the market. I need to upgrade some equipment. As you know, your house passes the way there."

"Okay." I said quietly, not sure what else I could say to him. He stood there, staring at me intently.

"Who are they from?" He asked me. Good question. I picked up the note that was attached to the bouquet.

"Hawke,

I hope you are feeling better today. I have been thinking of you since you left. You are much too pretty to frown. I will always be there if you need me, as a healer, and someone who cares about you very much.

Sincerely, Anders."

The words lifted my mood immediately. A smile crept onto my face. I had never received flowers from any one before, and it felt nice to have someone care about me enough to send a gift to my house.

"Well?" Fenris snapped my attention back to the present moment.

"Anders sent them." Fenris' eyes narrowed, and he glared at the pink flowers in my hand.

"The abomination sent you flowers?"

"It appears he has. And his name is Anders."

"I know what that demons name is. Why is he sending you flowers Hawke?"

"Why is it that you care?"

"He's a mage, and cannot be trusted."

"Excuse me, have you forgotten who I am?!" I lifted my free hand, and ignited it with flames for a brief moment.

"That is not what I meant."

"It's what you said. Why do you even care? It's been four days, Fenris. Four days. We have never gone that amount of time without speaking, and now, because we slept together, you are blatantly ignoring me." He said nothing to me, his eyes overlooking my glare.

"Well what, Fenris? Did it really mean nothing to you? Because to me, we made love." I emphasised the last word, hoping it would strike a chord within him. "But if all it was to you was a quick roll in the sack to get rid of all the stress you were under, let me know, so I can move on with my life and find someone deserving of my affection."

"Is that what you want to hear? So you can move on to that abomination?"

"His name is Anders!" I yelled at him. He was ignoring my questions, and it was making my blood boil. "Answer me Fenris. You owe me at least that much."

"I have no time for this petty squabble Hawke."

"Really Fenris, you have no time to answer a simple question? You spend most your days holed up in that damned mansion, you have one minute to talk to me.

"I do not wish to discuss it at the present time. I have said what I needed to say."

"Do you really care so little of me? I have been in so much blighted pain for days, because of you. And for what? You clearly don't care. I guess I really should move on then!"

"Fine, run into the arms of your precious abomination. Sleep with him for all I care!" His eyes were cold, and I felt as if my insides were torn apart. How dare he speak to me this way? I felt as if I had been suffering, at his hands. And he didn't care.

"Maybe I will then!" I screamed at him. I saw that his face tightened, and his markings began to glow. I slammed the door in his face before he could react to what I had said. I didn't mean it, but I was so mad at him I just wanted to hurt him in any way that I could. I'm not sure if the thought of me with Anders would even hurt him, he acted so cold and distant to me, even after I told him I had been hurting. But then, when he found out Anders had sent me flowers, he went into a jealous spat. He was the most confusing individual I had ever met.

One thing was clear, though. Despite if he still had feelings for me or not, he did not want to be romantically involved with me. This was the confirmation I needed. My insides burned and ached as a single tear slid down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away. It would be the last tear I wasted on him, somebody who clearly did not waste any time thinking about how I felt. I went to the kitchen to fetch a vase. I filled it with water and placed the flowers in it. I brought the vase upstairs, and set it on the nightstand beside my bed. There. Now anytime I became sad or felt lost at night alone in my bed, I had a constant reminder. A symbol that somebody out there was thinking of me, and cared about me. A symbol that eventually, after the pain subsided, I could move on with my life and finally find happiness.

I had kept the Viscount waiting long enough. Time to put my own needs aside, and think of those in the city who looked up to me. Aveline had urgency in her voice yesterday before I babbled on, so there was no time to waste. I read the note Anders wrote to me one last time, before heading back out the door. I was glad to see that Fenris had left. I tried to push him out of my mind as I went to gather Aveline. Something told me this meeting would not be pretty. It was just what I needed to divert my attention away from Fenris. Soon enough, there would be issues far greater than a broken heart. Had I known what was to come in the upcoming six months, I probably would have gotten the hell out of Kirkwall, and fast.

Authors notes: Sorry that my updating has been less frequent the past 2 weeks. I myself, like Hawke, am going through a rough breakup. It is not easy to write about heart break as you are going through it, I will say that much. With that said, I wanted to give a little insight into the flowers Anders gave Hawke. The Azalea flower tells loved ones to take care of themselves and is basically a symbol of womanhood. Someone giving a woman this flower is asking this woman to stay beautiful. I was originally going to have him send roses, but it seemed too cliché. This was a much more subtle gesture. Again, if you are enjoying the story, let me know. Thanks for all the support and emails!