Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns it all.

Rated M for several reasons.

Chpt 15 Reunion

CPOV

I brace myself for the pain but instead he crushes me against his chest an' begins talkin', quietly an' urgently.

Under his arm I watch as Pete herds the Cullens out, comin' back for the darth midget who seems to think that J fallin' apart is a spectator sport.

Slowly the knot of tension inside me unwinds as J gives me a rare glimpse into his mind.

By the time he's finished the sun is well up an' we've both been sobbin'.

At some point during the night we've moved, J leanin' back against the wall with his long legs stretched out in front of him an' me curled up by his side, clutching his big hand in mine.

Both of us are deep in thought.

"I don't know what to say." I admit eventually.

That earns me a short, if bitter, laugh.

"That, I don't believe." He says dryly.

"Alright." I huff. "If you wanna know. I think you shoulda told this stuff to Bella a long time ago an' you'd better man up an' spit it out the next time you see her. Along with a suitable apology for your behaviour last night."

I look up an' catch the end of his wince. Good. Message received an' understood.

"Is everythin' okay between us?" He asks.

"Not yet J." I answer him honestly. I might understand it better but I ain't ready to excuse it.

He sighs an' leans his head back against the wall.

"What do we do now?" He asks after a while.

"I'm gonna go scare up Petey an' see if we can find out who this traitor is." I poke him in the chest with my finger. "An' you should go get one of your psychobabble books, preferably one on overcomin' Alpha Male-itus, an' take it in the tub with you for a couple of hours."

"Yes Ma'am." He drawls.

He climbs to his feet an' offers me his hand to help me up.

I accept it easily an' he keeps hold of it as we walk towards the door.

"Aren't you goin' to apologise for rippin' off my foot?" He enquires as we cross the damaged hallway.

"No." I snort. "You were lucky, if Pete had been one second quicker pullin' me off you I would've had your dick instead."

Color me surprised when the first person we see is Alice Cullen, or whatever the fuck her name is now.

BPOV

Reluctantly I climb to my feet, disorientated because the horizon seems a lot lower than it should be.

Realisation dawns slowly, I think, perhaps, I may have let out a little more of my inner explosion than was entirely sensible.

Oh shit. Pete's gonna kill me.

Carefully I pick my way over the wreckage. How the hell I managed to knock a house down without breaking the roof I'll never know.

I can't see Demetri an' Elise but I can smell they are close by. Simon is sitting cross legged in the yard with a disturbing smirk on his face.

"Feeling better Mistress?" He asks as I plop down beside him.

"Yes thank you." I answer stiffly.

"Your dress is ruined." He observes.

I look down. Yep, good job I went heavy on the underwear last night. Then I remember why, I was looking forward to Jasper removing it after the party.

"Your mood appears to have flat lined Mistress." Simon remarks. "Dare I hope it is because you appreciate the gravity of spoiling such a beautiful dress?"

I manage a weak smile.

"Apparently not." He sighs. "What are we doing now?"

"Going home." I whisper.

"Excellent choice Mistress." He says, doing a good impersonation of a Sommelier.

"Is it?" I ask. Deciding is one thing. Doing is another.

"Of course." He says simply, watching may face intently. "Would it help if I slapped you?"

"What?"

"Hysteria can manifest itself in many ways." He informs me seriously. "One manifestation could be, say, destroying a building. Another could be inability to show animation."

"Did you just make that up?" I ask him suspiciously.

"Yes." He laughs. "But I am given to understand, from the reading material of Elise, that ladies are often slapped to good effect when in the throes of a romantic catastrophe."

"Elise reads bodice rippers?" There's a concept I can't get my head around. Elise is the epitome of French chic.

"Avidly, Mistress."

Great, my life has descended into a trashy romance novel.

"Oh dear." Simon's smile slips. "My attempts to cheer you up do not appear to be working very well."

I reach over an' pat his knee. "Not your fault Simon, I can't visualise a happy endin' for all this right now."

"Oh Mistress." He chuckles. "You just need to have a little faith."

"Humph."

Still chuckling he leaps to his feet. "I will fetch Elise." He informs me. "She is currently running a perimeter."

I nod an' settle down to examine my hands for a while, not looking up when Demetri folds himself down beside me.

"Mistress." He asks quietly. "How are you feeling?"

"Crushed."

He laughs delightedly.

"I am sorry for what happened Mistress."

"It wasn't your fault Demetri. She committed the dastardly deed an' I'm the one who over reacted."

"I should have been more forceful in my warning." He continues in a low voice. "I do not wish harm to come to either you or the Master."

"Do you think you could call me Bella now?" I ask, lifting my head to look at him. "After all you've witnessed me having a mini breakdown an' we're currently sat here with me not much more than my underwear."

His glance flicks down my ripped dress an' then back to my face quickly. "No Mistress." He says seriously. "I do not think it would be appropriate to call you by your given name."

"You've already called me Bella twice." I remind him.

"Yes Mistress." He agrees rising swiftly to his feet. "And I should not have done."

I sigh as I watch him walk away. He moves with more fluid grace than anyone I've ever met an' when he's in his cloak it's almost like he's floating. I wish I could work him out. Most of the time he seems to find me annoying an' yet at others it feels like we could be friends.

Men. An' they think we're difficult. Whether he likes it or not I already think of him as my brother.

In fact I'm startled to realise that for all my moaning and complaining most of the Guard, the ones I know best, already feel like extended family to me. I no longer find their presence in my life irksome.

Even Elise, who always makes me feel like a baby elephant when she's around, especially now I know about her embarrassingly plebeian reading habits.

She an' Simon emerge from the trees an' I get to my feet.

Time to go home an' face the music.

Our run back is more leisurely than the journey here an' for that I am grateful, it gives me more time to gather my courage. The tightness in my chest begins to dissipate the closer we get. With a sigh I wish I could say the same for the fear.

We slow to a walk as we approach the compound, crossing through the gates just as Jasper, Pete an' the Cullens emerge onto the steps at the front of the house.

My pace drops to a crawl, this confrontation is going to happen a bit sooner than I anticipated. I had at least hoped to get the twigs out of my hair an' change into something less desperate looking.

Somehow I keep walking until I am just a few feet from the bottom of the steps. He comes down slowly stopping on the last step. Vampire or not I couldn't tell you what everyone else is doing, they could be dancing the Charleston for all I know.

I'm not brave enough to lower my shield an' see if he's projecting so we just stand an' stare at each other. I can't read anything from his expression but in fairness my poker face is firmly in place too.

This Jasper coma is different somehow. I'm still totally lost in his golden eyes, I just don't feel secure in that world the way I normally do.

With that pang of sadness something must have changed on my face because Pete jumps forwards grabbing my hand an' dragging me towards Jasper. Stopping in front of him he takes Jasper's hand an' unceremoniously slaps mine into it.

"Sort this out." He growls. "I can't stand it any fuckin' longer."

Turning on his heel he grabs Alice an' tows her away with him.

The others melt away in silence, leaving me alone to face to my fate.

"We should go somewhere an' talk." He says quietly.

My heart sinks, not exactly the 'I love you an' I'm glad you're back' I was foolishly hoping for.

"Somewhere we won't be disturbed." He continues. "The ranch isn't far from here, we could go there?"

"Not such a good idea right now." I murmur, chewing my lower lip.

"We could head north into the forest?" He suggests.

I nod.

"Do you want to get changed first?"

"No." I'm not trying to be a tease with my semi-clothed state, I just can't bear to be away from him again so soon.

He nods an' leads me slowly back out through the gate.

Once we are clear we start running an' I take some comfort in the fact that he's still holding my hand.

We run in silence for a couple of hours. From time to time I risk a sideways glance but his expression is still not giving anything away. He doesn't look happy, but then I doubt I look like I've just won the lottery either.

I wish I had the guts to just ask him. Do you still love me? Am I still your mate?

Unfortunately coming back to face him has temporarily used up all my courage. I've never been a religious person so it seems all kinds of wrong to start praying now, but I wish I could.

Eventually we reach a depression of rocks surrounded by trees an' he jogs to a stop.

Releasing my hand he hesitantly takes a step back from me, sinking down onto one of the rocks in a crouch.

"Did she . . . ." I can't finish my question though gods knows I don't need to.

A pained expression appears on his face an' he runs his hand through his hair. Oh god, I wish I didn't know what that gesture means.

"Did she spilt us up?" I demand, suddenly done with the uncertainty.

"Yes an' no." He says heavily.

Yes, he said yes. My vision darkens to a fine point of light an' I feel myself fall. The sensible part of my brain points out that vampires don't faint but the rest of it wants no part of this reality for the time being an' shuts down abruptly.

"Darlin'. Bella, talk to me, are you alright?"

I open my eyes to find his perfect face an' inch from my own, eyes tight with worry.

Instead of answering I reach my hand up an' trace my fingertips lightly across his cheek.

He closes his eyes an' leans into my palm.

"I can't feel you anymore when you're away from me." He whispers. "An' it scared the shit out of me because I love you with all my heart an' I can't live without you."