Authors notes: Another smut filled chapter! It took me a little longer to write this part as there are a lot of small details from the game that I thought were crucial to this part of the story. Also, I have 2 new additions to my family that kept me busy over the weekend; 2 kittens I appropriately named Isabela and Anders :) I hope you guys enjoy the chapter!
The Arishok requested my appearance by name. He was suspicious that a dwarf had stolen an explosive powder from him and asked me to investigate. He was wrong about the dwarf, but a sadistic elf had gotten hold of it and created a poisonous gas that spread out all over Lowtown. It took hours to clear everyone out of the area and destroy the substance. We inhaled so much of the gas, the four of us could barely carry ourselves home.
Anders had some business to finish in his clinic and Aveline was needed back at the keep. That left Fenris and I to walk back to our Hightown homes in awkward silence. He kept his eyes glued forward, never once looking over towards me. There was a gash on his forearm that I had just noticed, and it looked like it hurt.
"You're bleeding, Fenris."
"So I am." he responded, eyes still staring straight ahead.
"It looks like it really hurts."
"I can handle a little pain."
"Here, let me help." I reached over to grab his arm, and he whipped it away from me, to the point where he hurt my hand. He glared down at me, his hazel eyes narrowed. The look on his face was one I will never forget. It was a look of hatred, and it crushed me.
"What's wrong with you? I'm only trying to help you! That is all I have ever done, Fenris. You've been acting like I'm the enemy, but I'm on your side, remember?"
"Were you on my side when you spent the night with your precious healer last night?"
"Jealous?"
"Is that what you're doing with him? You're trying to make me jealous?"
"No, it's just a fortunate result that comes with the territory." If he wanted to get nasty, two could play this game. I had been nothing but nice to Fenris, and he was constantly kicking me while I was down. Not anymore, it was time to take a stand.
"Whether you want to believe it or not, I care a great deal for Anders. He's romantic, charming, and he cares about me."
"You came to this conclusion after you opened your legs for him?"
"Not that it's any of your damn business but I haven't slept with him. And just so you know, Fenris, the reason that this is happening is because of you. So you can stop griping and giving me this attitude, because I would have stood by you to the very end. This is your doing." He turned away from me and we walked all the way back in complete silence. I had never been so happy to return home in my entire life.
The next afternoon, there was a knock at my bedroom door. I opened it to find a very nervous Bohdan standing before me.
"I'm sorry to bother you Mistress, but Master Anders is downstairs. He looks troubled."
"Thank you, Bodhan." I walked down the stairs and there he was, pacing back and forth like a caged animal.
"What's wrong?"
"I need to talk to you, and I don't quite know where to begin."
"It's okay, just take your time." Anders stopped pacing, and looked at me. Never had I seen him look so stressed out and sleep deprived.
"Have you noticed how many Tranquil are in the Gallows courtyard lately? And don't tell me I'm just sensitive to it. I've been watching, and every day there are new Tranquil, selling their bloody wares. Good mages too. People I know passed their Harrowing"
"Doesn't Chantry law state that mages who pass their Harrowing can't be made Tranquil?"
"Exactly. The Templars are using the Rite of Tranquility to silence those who speak against them. They're working on a deliberate plan to turn every mage in Kirkwall a Tranquil within the next three years." It sounded crazy, but Anders was so sure of his convictions. I had to help him get to the bottom of this. He believed a Templar named Ser Alrik was the one who was in charge of this "Tranquil Solution." He was the one who did the ritual on Anders' friend Karl. He wanted me to help bring his plan to light, and to expose him for the crimes he had committed. There was a secret entrance he knew of, under the Gallows.
"I wouldn't let you face this alone." I spoke softly.
"You are the one bright light in Kirkwall. I've always feared being made Tranquil. Now more than ever. I'm ready to go when you are."
We quickly gathered Merrill and Varric and set to the underground passage. When we found Ser Alrik, he and some other Templars had a young mage girl cornered. She was pleading with them to spare her.
"Please, I haven't done anything wrong!"
"That's a lie." Alrik took wide strides towards her. "What do we do to mages who lie?"
They had not seen us yet. Anders was now starting to lose control, I could see his eyes turning blue, and smoke surrounding him. l was certain this would not end well. The girl got on her knees and began to beg.
"Please, no! Don't make me Tranquil! I'll do anything!"
"That's right. Once you're Tranquil, you'll do anything I ask."
Justice took control of Anders' body.. He strode towards the Templars, his voice demonic and menacing once again.
"You fiends will never touch a mage again!"
These Templars were well trained against mages. Merrill had run out of mana quickly, and I was not far behind her. Varric kept Bianca loaded. At one point he even bashed a Templar over the head with his beloved crossbow, knocking the man unconscious.
"Serves you right for messing with us!" He yelled at the unresponsive body. Ser Alrik and his Templars were defeated, but Justice still had control over Anders' body.
"They will die! I will have every last Templar for these abuses!"
"It's over Anders. They're all dead."
"Every one of them will feel Justice's burn!"
"Get away from me, demon!" The mage girl yelled at him, clearly terrified. Anders rushed towards her, backing her even further into the wall.
"I am no demon! Are you one of them, that you would call me such?"
"Anders, that girl is a mage. We rescued her from being made Tranquil." I spoke in a soft manner, trying to get Justice to calm down.
"She is theirs, I can feel their hold on her."
"She's the reason you're fighting Anders. Don't turn on her now."
He lifted his hand above his head, about to cast a spell on the girl and kill her, when suddenly Anders came to. He fell to the ground, immediately, his head buried in his hands. The girl took off running.
"Maker no! I almost...if you weren't here..." his voice was breaking and tears were in his eyes. "I need to get out of here." Anders quickly took off through the tunnel.
"Geez, that was a close one." Varric wiped his arm across his head, removing some blood.
"Do you think he'll be alright, Hawke?" Merrill asked.
"I don't know. I need to find him." So many emotions were coursing through my body. On one hand I was worried for Anders, on the other I felt angry. He had almost killed that innocent girl. He was so determined to put an end to the Templars cause, and yet he almost killed a mage himself. I didn't know what I was going to say to him yet. We decided to search the Templars' bodies before leaving.
"Hawke, you might want to take a look at this." Varric was standing above Alrik's body, a piece of paper in his hand.
Quickly, I skimmed through the note. It was proof that Alrik was indeed trying to start a Tranquil Solution, but apparently Knight Commander Meredith and the Divine had refused his idea. I needed to show Anders the note immediately. It meant that this Tranquil Solution was not in effect by Meredith, only Alrik and his Templars were committing these heinous acts. And here they laid, dead.
Merrill and Varric both went to their homes, while I went to Darktown in search for Anders. He was in his clinic, packing in a frenzy. I handed him the note, and as he read it, the look of despair slowly faded from his face as he realised what was really going on. He told me that he needed some time to reflect alone, but I could come back a bit later.
I walked aimlessly for a few hours, stressed to my core. What if Anders decided to continue packing and flee while I was gone? My heart began to race furiously within me, I could hear it pounding in my head. Picking up my pace, I headed back towards his clinic. I was terrified of losing him.
As I entered his clinic, he was hunched over, and smiling.
"What are you doing?"
"Putting out milk." He stood up and turned to me. "I miss having a cat around, but I think the refugees have scared them all off, or maybe eaten them." Anders began to thank me for helping him, and for standing up for the mages rights.
"We are fighting for the same thing Anders. This is one of the reasons why I feel so close to you. I feel as if fate brought us together, to help each other."
"Hawke, you have no idea how much your support means to me. You are a loyal friend."
"I do hope you will consider me to be more than that one day."
"I've tried to hold back. You've seen what I am, but I am still a man. You can't expect me to resist you forever." This was it, the moment I had been longing for since the day I met him here in his clinic.
" I don't want you to resist."
Anders leapt forward, grasping my face with both his hands. His lips were suddenly upon mine, and I opened my mouth to accept his kiss. He fiercely kissed me, moaning into my mouth as he sucked on my lips. The longing that had built up over the years seemed to pour out of him all at once. His arms were around my back, and his kiss slowed as he pulled his face away from mine.
"This will be a disaster, but I can't live without it. We could die tomorrow. I don't want it to be before I tell you how I feel."
"I've never felt this way about anyone." It was true. Although I had been in love with Fenris, and some feelings still lingered, it was not how it was with Anders. Anders made me feel loved, beautiful, and adored. I could confide in him like I had never been able to with anyone else, not even my own mother.
"I thought with Justice, this part of me was over. I can't give you a normal life. If you're with me, we'll be hunted, hated. The whole world will be against us. If your door is open tonight I will come to you. If not, I'll know you took my warning at last."
I had never been so nervous in my entire life. I spent the past two hours preparing myself for what was bound to happen. The fireplace was lit and it cast a romantic light across the room. I put some candles out on my dresser as well. Isabela always said that you look your best naked with a little candlelight. I fluffed my pillows at least half a dozen times, and rearranged my belongings to make my room look more presentable.
It was getting late, where was he? Did he change his mind about us? Nausea swept over my body. The thought of him leaving me was unbearable. Could I handle being rejected twice? I didn't want to know. I heard my bedroom door slowly open, and when I turned, there he was, a smile planted on his face. I could barely catch my breath, I was so excited and nervous at once. He closed the door behind him.
"You're here. I wasn't sure you would come."
"Justice does not approve of my obsession with you. He believes you are a distraction." He moved towards me, his eyes never left mine. I took a few steps towards him as well, and we met in the middle of the room.
"It is one of the few things on which he and I disagree."
"If you hadn't come, I'd be out looking for you."
"Are you sure you want me here? I know how badly Fenris hurt you. I don't want to rush you into anything you are not ready for."
"There is nothing more between Fenris and I." I felt a slight pain as I confirmed the words. I was ready for this, but for some reason a tiny piece of me hadn't fully healed. It was time to move on.
"I'm sorry he hurt you, but I can't be sorry if he lead you to me. When I was in the Circle, love was only a game." He walked a few steps forward until we were only a few inches away from each other. "It gave the Templars too much power if there was something you couldn't stand to lose." Anders turned his head and looked at the floor. "It would kill me to lose you." Fear crept back into his amber eyes.
"You aren't going to lose me." Our faces were almost touching as he looked back into my eyes. Anders placed a hand tenderly on my cheek and my body rejoiced at his touch.
"No mage I know has ever dared to fall in love. This is the rule I will most cherish breaking." His hand pulled my face into his, and we kissed for a second time. I wrapped my arms around his neck as his soft lips gently caressed mine. His tongue entered my mouth slowly and I eagerly welcomed it. I pulled my face away, and stared at him, taking this moment in. I wanted to remember it for the rest of my life. His hand let go of my face and I grabbed his other hand and pulled him with me as I walked backwards into my bed. I laid back, legs apart and he climbed over top of me. We began to kiss again, more passionately this time. My arms wrapped around his back as he pressed his body into mine. I could feel his hardness against my thigh. We stopped kissing and he looked down at me.
"You are beautiful, Marian. Tonight I want to cherish every part of you." He leaned forward and sucked on my earlobe and I moaned softly. His kiss trailed down my neck ever so slowly to my collar bone. I reached towards him and lifted his top over his head. He was straddled above me and I reached out and kissed his chest. I ran my hand over his chest hair down to his stomach and unbelted his pants. He tossed them to the side before pulling my tunic over my head and then pulling my skirt down. We were both only in our under clothes now. Somehow, I felt completely comfortable naked in front of him. I wasn't self conscious about my battle scars at all. The way he gazed at me made me know he loved how I looked.
Anders leaned over me again pushing his erection against my smallclothes. Back and forth he pushed and with each movement I became more excited. His erection slid over my clit again and again and it made me want him desperately. He went back to kissing my neck, moving his face lower onto my chest. I arched my back and undid my breastband and threw it to the ground. Anders eyes follow down to my breasts and he lightly caressed them with both hands. His hands were so gentle and experienced. He lightly grazed my nipples with his fingers before placing his mouth over one and taking it into his mouth. He softly sucked and licked and I gasped as he did so. He switched over to my other breast and did the same action. His tongue teased one nipple as his fingers trailed over the other.
He continued his licking and sucking down towards my navel, ever so slowly. Waiting for his tongue to go lower was almost torture. He kissed the sensitive skin just above my underclothes. His fingers hooked around them and slowly he pulled them down. His hand caressed my outer lips and I let out another moan. His touch slowly traced up and down the outer region of my sex and I longed for more. His face was inches away from me. His mouth moved down and I could feel his warm breath. He started kissing me slowly where he had been stroking me. He moved his kisses up and down quickly all over the middle of my mound and I could barely take it. He would flick his tongue over my nub quickly and then withdraw and move to another area."You...taste...divine." he said each word in between kisses. I cried out in protest and Anders quietly chuckled.
"How does this feel love?"
"Oh this is unbearable. Please Anders..."
Anders kissed my nub one last time before I felt his tongue. He flicked it up and down quickly now and I almost screamed out, this was the feeling I was longing for. He got me so worked up with his teasing I knew I would climax soon. Two fingers entered my tight entrance as his tongue worked its magic over my clit. His fingers withdrew and he sucked on them, tasting my juices. He must have enjoyed the taste because his tongue pushed into my entrance and the feeling was mind-blowing. His tongue penetrating me had me arching my back and wanting more. My breathing quickened and I sensed he knew I was close. His tongue pulled out and starting ravishing my clit again. "Anders!" I called out as my climax crashed over his fingers that were drilling in and out of me. Wave after wave of ecstasy hit through me. He slowed his tongue lapping and began kissing my sensitive area again. When I finally recovered from my orgasm he looked up at me with a very satisfied look in his eyes.
"That was amazing." I was all out of breath. Anders sat up and pulled off his underclothes. His erection sprang free. He was slightly curved and I knew once he entered me he would hit all the right spots. I reached forward and stroked him and he gasped at my touched. His arms pushed me back as he climbed over me once again.
"Are you ready, love?"
"Yes, make love to me, Anders. Please. I can't wait any longer." The tip of his length pressed against my entrance and he slowly entered me. The feeling of him filling me had me moaning louder. Slowly he pushed in and out, taking his time. The man sure did love to tease. He never took his eyes off of me. We stared deeply at each other, and I called out his name once again.
"I love hearing you say my name like that."
"Anders." I moaned once again, purposely teasing him. He picked up on this and smiled. His pace began to quicken and I wrapped my legs around his back, allowing him to plunge deeper inside of me.
"Oh, Hawke." he gasped out loud. Every little noise he made turned me on even further. He grabbed me and with a quick movement, he turned so that he was on his back and I was on top of him."
"Nice moves," I giggled and sat upright on him. His hands grabbed my backside as I lifted myself up and down on his member. He was moaning and his eyes were rolling to the back of his head. Watching him take pleasure in what I was doing did so much for me. I wanted to please him even more. I carefully slid off and lowered my face to him. I opened my mouth and took him inside me, sucking him clean of my juices. The taste of him and I combined made me even more aroused. He moaned and pushed my hair off my forehead as I took him in deeper. My tongue moved back and forth on his underside and he thrust his hips forward. I stroked him while sucking, taking his length as far into my mouth as I could. I moaned into his hardness as he started thrusting into my mouth. I reached down and pleasured myself as I sucked and stroked Anders. I looked up into his eyes as he was still in my mouth and he let out a loud sigh.
"Sweetheart, I want to finish inside of you. Please climb on top of me again." I straddled his hips again and lowered myself onto him. He pulled my shoulders forward so my head was next to his as he pumped into me. "You are so wet," he whispered into my ear and that threw me over the edge. I orgasmed once more, this time on his erection. I screamed out loud and in that moment I hadn't a care in the world if the whole neighborhood heard me. Never had I been able to climax from sex alone, I usually needed the assistance of fingers or a tongue. Anders grabbed onto my hips and started thrusting ferociously into me. "Hawke!" he moaned out as his own orgasm took hold of his body. He moaned and thrashed underneath me, succumbing to the pleasure. His pace slowed and then stopped altogether. He pulled me forward into a deep kiss as he slipped out of me. We lay there for a few minutes. He stroked my hair as I listened to the pounding in his chest. He glanced over and started to laugh.
"What's so funny?"
"Did you realize that your balcony door is slightly open?"
"What?!" I looked over, and he was right. Orana must have accidentally left it a tad open when she watered the plants on my balcony earlier.
"We were rather loud." Anders teased, still laughing. I got up and dressed myself again. I walked over to the balcony and decided to step onto it for a moment, as I had built up a sweat from our lovemaking. I stood on the balcony, eyes closed, feeling the light wind across my face. It felt so peaceful and calm. I looked down to see if any of my neighbors were around to hear what had just happened, and my jaw just about dropped.
Across the street was my ex-lover Fenris, staring up at me. My heart plunged into my stomach. How long had he been standing there? Did he hear Anders and I making love? His face was unreadable. He just stared at me with a blank expression. We stood there, staring at one another for several moments, and then he turned and quickly walked away, never glancing back. Lovely. Just what I needed to be thinking about after I had spent the night with Anders. I did not need or want Fenris in my thoughts right now. I felt guilty, although I knew that I shouldn't have. He had his opportunity to be with me, and he left. I had done nothing wrong, and wasn't about to ruin my night with Anders by feeling bad for Fenris. I stepped back into my bedroom and closed and locked the balcony door.
Anders was fully clothed and standing at my fireplace. I walked over to him and he pulled me into his embrace.
"I love you. I've been holding back from saying that. You should have a normal life, not be tied down to a fugitive with no future. But I don't ever want to leave you." My heart was about to burst. Anders loved me. He really loved me.
"Don't ever leave." His eyes softened even more and a look of delight spread across his entire face.
"Do you mean that? Would you have me here, living with you? Would you tell the world, the Knight-Commander, that you love an apostate and you will stand beside him?"
It took me a brief second to take this in. I hadn't meant to ask him to move in when I said I didn't want him to ever leave, but now that the opportunity presented itself, I was filled with pure bliss. I had been so scared that he would leave just like Fenris had but here he was, ready to make a huge commitment to me.
"I want you right here, until the day we die."
"For three years I have lain awake every night aching for you. I'm still terrified I'll wake up." We wrapped our arms around each other and began kissing again. Soon after that we were naked in bed a second time, kissing and moaning and making love. He held me in his arms all night, and the next morning when I awoke, he was still holding me close. He had not woken up in the night screaming from a nightmare from what I could tell. He certainly never disturbed me in my sleep. As I stared at him lovingly, he slept with a smile on his face. I could have stayed in his arms forever.