Lead Me Back to Normalcy

A/N: Happy Fourth of July! God Bless America! :D

I have to say, this is perhaps one of my favorite chapters. I hope it is yours too!

True love doesn't mean being inseparable; it means being separated and nothing changes.

Chapter Twelve: Hangovers and Mortals

Despite what most Asgardians thought, Loki had never been above sharing a drink with his brother, the warriors three, and Lady Sif. Oh no, Loki may have been prudish, snobbish, and overly sophisticated, but he had never been above denying a drink. All too much, where Thor was, Loki was soon to follow. It had always been the nature of their relationship—where one went, the other followed. More times than he could count—though more likely cared to count—Loki had ingested too much alcohol. Alcohol combined with his mischievous behavior and mastery of sorcery had led to a great time at someone's expense. Once more, Thor, when extremely drunken, would aid his brother in his pranks. Even when they failed, which was often the case, they would laugh anyway.

But of course, alcohol would wear off, for better or worse. Today was definitely a worse. Even with his eyes closed, the light inside the room was too bright. As he moaned, his upper lip sluggishly turned into a tired snarled. He heard and felt the hard pulse on either side of his head each time his heart pushed blood to his hazy mind. Loki felt as if someone was still punching him in the head. He hated the sound of his groggy moans because they too were much too loud for his delicate ears. Loki swore his ears had to be bleeding from the intense volume of every single sound his body produced. Still, he rolled his head to right as he had down many mornings.

Where she should have been, she wasn't. The feeling—well, to be specific, the lack of feeling—of her not beside him was something Loki still had not gotten used to; he assumed he never would get used to her not resting peacefully by his side. A few years without her could not erase the centuries of her, cuddling and curling up beside him in bed. It was these small moments, the ones he had taken for granted many times over, and that Loki missed the most. He didn't even attempt to roll onto his side so that he could wrap his arms around nothing but a pillow. But when—if he ever did get the opportunity to wrap his arms around Sigyn, Loki would never let go. He was sure of it.

Still, he found himself compelled to roll over to his side.

Click!

Loki painfully jerked his hand again, but a rough cloth material around his wrist suddenly halted his hand. Dreading opening his eyes but finding he had no choice, he peeled them open. Above him was an off-white, beige tinted ceiling made out of that cheap, Styrofoam substance. The other walls were white with no extras on them. He moaned as he lifted his head. He annoyingly eyed the black restraints on either of his wrists. Loki didn't have to know that the mortals had more than likely placed them on his ankles as well. Damn humans… Loki, he pursed his lips as he did when he discovered something truly distasteful. The cause of this purse came from the discovery the humans had stripped him of his armor—how baffled him—and had dared place him in a single garment that not even a troll, whom are blind, would wear.

Loki rolled his head the other direction and casted his annoyed glare to the tiny ebon' camera lurking in the corner like a bad shadow. Well, he knew at some point SHIELD would have caught up to him. No one needed to tell the Asgardian that he was within their grasps; however, he had not counted on not knowing how he had gotten here. No, he remembered nothing aside from being in his tiny human abode one moment with a bottle of wine and then spinning off on his metal steed the next. He closed his eyes, trying to figure out how he gotten here, but alas, his mind drew a blank.

At any rate, being restrained to a bed was not only annoying but boring. As if they had a direct line that told them of Loki's distress, Jane and her entourage of Darcy, Tony, Erik, and Agent Coulson appeared through the white door. Jane, Coulson, and Tony were all respectfully dressed for their occupations; Darcy was, of course, casual like Erik. He never understood why Darcy or Erik had adopted a more professional look, but it may have stemmed from ignorance.

"Wow," Tony remarked in his usual, I'm-better-than-you tone. "I wouldn't have thought you could be any paler than last night, but I guess I'm wrong." It took every ounce of restraint to let the comment slide. Either Tony had never had a hangover—which Loki highly doubted considering Stark had a compulsive nature like himself—or was being a smartass as usual. Yes, it had to be the second.

"Glad to see you're awake, Loki. I'm Agent Coulson," he introduced. The SHIELD agent approached Loki to the side of his bed. Loki's eyes watched as they all circled around him like a pack of wolves. He felt his body tense. It wasn't out of fear they could harm him, but out of the habit that when his friends had surrounded him in the past, it was usually for something malicious. "I realize this may not be the most pleasant accommodations for you, but I'm sure you understand after your little display a few night back."

He blinked slowly, hating how loud their voices were. He swore they were as loud as Thor. No, they were louder than Thor. "Actually no," Loki replied in a rather controlled tone. There was no missing the annoyance in his voice or the lack of bite in his words. "I have no memory of my actions, Agent Coulson. Would you care to enlighten me how I became imprisoned?"

"Well, he did have the shit knocked out of him," Darcy remarked. She looked to Tony, then Jane. "Plus, taking a whole prescription of my pills and being nineteen times over the legal drinking limit would impair your short-term memory too." She seemed a bit too cheeky for Loki, but again, anything Darcy did burrowed underneath his skin because of her voice. He visibly winced at her nasally voice. She must have noticed because she asked, "What?"

"Would you object to having one of your comrades speaking for you?" he asked. Loki poorly disguised the annoyance and personal dislike of Darcy in his voice. "The fewer people who speak are most desirable right now considering my mind's current condition."

"Sorry, princess," Tony sneered. "You're not in your palace, and we're not your servants. We don't have to follow you."

Had Loki' not been suffering from the after effects of alcohol, he might have looked mean, even dangerous with his nose scrunched up, eyes narrowed, and mouth pulled back into a snarl. But no, he looked rather helpless in the bed. Not to mention, he looked more like he had the flu than a hangover. "You're right," Loki chided. "You're mortals. Your race is undeserving to even gaze upon Asgard's beauty. We don't need flies like you spoiling our food with your maggots."

"Tony, stop it," Coulson remarked.

"Okay, mother," he said sarcastically. Loki didn't laugh aloud, but Tony could see the trickster's eyes laughing at him. Like a little kid, he stuck his tongue out at Loki.

"Tony, let's go out," Erik suggested. He looked wearily to Loki, then towards Darcy. "You, too." The heavy set, older man opened the door. Tony, almost as reluctant as Darcy, left the room. Darcy, she glanced towards Loki. Of all of them, she was the only one who felt a bit of sympathy for him. Well, as much sympathy as she could feel for a creeper than lurked in the shadows to watch them work. "Darcy?" Erik called. With her name called, she too followed Tony out the door with Erik pulling up the rear.

Both Jane and Coulson waited until they heard the door click shut. "Tony is a bit of a smart ass," Coulson explained; though by Loki's look, the god already knew about Ironman operated. "To answer your question, you are here because Mr. Stark found you on the floor in one of Miss Foster's labs. You were acting irrational from the combination of alcohol and drugs. From your lack of common sense, you threatened Miss Foster. Mr. Stark then acted in a—" He paused for a second as he realized he was giving a compliment to a man he never thought he would grace with. "A reasonable fashion and disarmed. We have kept you here while you recovered."

"So," Jane picked up from where Coulson had left off. "Would you mind explaining a few things? Some of what you said has peaked my interests."

"That depends," Loki negotiated. "What will I receive in return?"

"You'll get nothing," Coulson made clear.

Loki strained against his restraints. "Then you will receive no answers from me," he retorted. He noticed, briefly mind you, Jane glance insecurely towards Coulson. Though he felt like crap, the fact he had found a weakness brought his signature smirk to his face. "I'll give you all the answers you want, Jane Foster." She turned her head towards, clearly not believing what he was saying. "But I will have two requests. You may keep my armor, but I wish to have a bracelet returned to me. Secondly, I require my freedom restored. I will not be bound by pitiful chains such as these. Then every question about Asgard will be answered."

"We can't do that," Coulson answered.

"For me, you will bend your precious, government rules," Loki spoke in an authoritarian voice.

"We really can't, Loki," Jane said before Coulson could say another word. "We could only fulfill your second request. The first is impossible." For once, Loki didn't respond quickly back. Jane took this as his way of insisting she explain further. With a deep breath she continued. "The bracelet you speak of was destroyed. What pieces remain are frayed and fragile." Watching him, she saw his heart plummet. His face, which had been green, became ghostly white. "It wasn't something intentional…" Loki's eyes shot to her with conviction. "I take it that the bracelet was important?"

He was silent for a few seconds, still searching for the words that would adequately portray the boiling anger in the pit of his stomach, the hole from where the blood in his heart leaked, and the absent feeling that lingered over every action he took. "That bracelet held centuries worth of memories inside of it," Loki spoke through a rather calm voice. Beneath the calm was the storm brewing. Both Jane and Coulson noticed it, but this time, Jane did not flick her eyes towards the agent. If anything, what he said only perked her interests.

"Where did it come from?" she inquired.

"Does this mean you are accepting my proposition?" Loki asked hastily.

"Yes," Jane replied. She looked to Coulson, who was looking at her as if she were crazy. The two held their gaze before Coulson shook his head and turned away. Not a word had been said but an entire conversation had unfolded in a few seconds. Jane smiled gratefully towards Coulson as he made his way out the door. Somehow Coulson had come to trust her in a way he would never trust Tony; it most likely came out of fear that if he didn't listen to Jane, Thor would come for his head. She turned her eyes back to the bed … the empty bed. Leaning against the wall, Loki looked at her, while she looked at him with deer-like eyes. "How? Wh—Why?"

"I am a master of sorcery, Jane Foster," Loki answered boredly. "Escaping from a few chains such is something I learned when I was a child." He folded his arms across his chest as he stared down at her like she was nothing but a fly to him. Well, she was nothing but a fly to him in terms of time. So it should not have come as any surprise to Jane that he would have learned how to escape from simple hospital restraints since he had so much time at his disposal. "Now, if you excuse me, I will be going. I'm not fond of these clothes."

"Hey!" Jane shouted, but it was a few seconds too late.

The trickster was gone.

Now how was she going to explain this to Coulson?

Well, luckily she had been able to escape Coulson and his usual gang of guards. Erik, to her gratitude, was keeping Tony and Darcy entertained; she yearned to know what he had come up with to entertain them for the entire day. In a way, it was odd not to have someone following her, and odder yet to be directly avoiding them but yet felt so good to not have someone shadowing her every nanosecond. Avoiding them, while tough considering the small building SHIELD occupied in this tiny town, was rewarding. For once she could think to herself.

It was refreshing.

Sitting on the same old, ragged lawn chase as Thor did a little over three years ago. It might as well have been a lifetime ago. Well, her heart felt like Thor was from a different lifetime or possibly a dream. Every day he seemed to become a little bit less of her reality and more of her fantasy. Reclined on chair, eyes staring at the sky, she wondered which star out of all the billions upon billions of stars in the universe belonged to Asgard. Was it even in her sight?

Did Thor even think about her anymore? Jane was only human after all. She didn't wield a sword and shield, spun magical spells, or ate her way through a box of poptarts and then some. No, she was a stout worshipper of physics and late night coffee underneath a starry sky like this.

And he … he was a god and a prince all wrapped into one. She did not doubt that Thor could have any woman he wanted just out of his heritage. The old mythology myths said Thor was husband to Sif. He could have been for all she knew. He had never said he wasn't husband to her. From what she had read, it was not uncommon for Aesir to have several wives and mistresses. Was she nothing more than just a fleeting mistress waiting to happen but would never happen?

She heard the sound of the rocks atop the roof crunching underneath someone's feet. Jane turned her head. To her honest surprise, she was shocked to witness Loki take the lawn chase next to her. Just as he had said earlier, he had changed out of the hospital wear for something more eye-pleasing. The god of mischief was in a pair of darker jeans and a white dress shirt with a black suit jacket over it. She half expected him to be in a tie as well, but he wasn't. No, instead he left his collar slightly undone where something gold sparkled.

Loki must have caught her staring for what he said next. "It is a key," he explained. He lifted the trinket off his chest so Jane could gaze better at it. The trinket was fairly large, two inches long. The blade of the key was fairly simple to offset the bow. The bow was circular in shape and outlined in black diamonds. The inside contained Celtic knots that interweaved each other in an endless loop. "In the Vanir culture, to wear a key is to symbolize a woman's importance and authority in a man's life. The fancier the key, the more value you place in a woman." He let the key fall back on his chest as he returned his gaze to the sky. Unlike Jane who did not know where to look, he focused on a small, nearly invisible spec in the sky, Asgard. Quietly he hoped that perhaps Sigyn was there in Asgard, next to Heimdall, watching him watching her.

Jane followed his gaze, staring in the same direction as he did; however, she wasn't able to pick out the star he so clearly and determinedly stared at. "I never would have guessed you to be an advocate for feminism," Jane commented. "From what Thor has told me, Asgard is stuck in the Victorian era of women's rights." But in the end, Jane smiled because Thor had manners like that era. Her cheeks burned as she recalled how he had kissed her hand goodbye.

His ears were on the edge of bleeding from hearing Thor's name spoken. He sighed. Loki supposed it would take centuries to escape his brother's shadow. "Do not twist me words, Jane Foster," Loki reprehended. "I am not an advocate for feminism. Women should not have to become soldiers, leaders, or hunters. They should be at home where they are safe and sound; however, I advocate for women performing a man's task should the man be inept. In a perfect society, women would never have to do so, but no society is perfect."

Jane stifled a chuckle. "Just when I thought you may have a redeeming quality," she spoke. "So… Does Thor wear a key? I never recalled seeing one on his person."

Loki shook his head. "No," he replied blankly.

"Then why do you where one?" When no response came, Jane turned her head. Loki's eyes were sunken than she had first noticed; there was a bit of redness to them from recent crying. Her heart felt heavy for him out of what piece of her heart wasn't angry at him for trying to kill Thor. If Loki was anything like Thor, Jane could all too easily list off all the problems he had with adjusting from a prince and god to a lowly human—er at least blending in as one.

"Sigyn is not an Aesir," Loki explained. "Well, not full Aesir—she's a half-breed, a mix of Vanir and Aesir. She was abandoned at a young age because of her heritage. Frey happened to find her and brought her to Njord. Consequently, she grew up Vanir." Strangely, he found talking about his wife with someone rather comforting. He briefly turned his eyes to Jane to see if she was listening, and she was. "Well, one day when I was visiting Sigyn, I went with she and her father to the market. Sigyn, she was still young, only ten years. She was busy off searching for a certain material so she could finish a gift for Heimdall. Sigyn thought he was lonely guarding the bifrost by himself, so she wanted to fashion him a plush wolf to be his friend—she was always thoughtful like that, Jane Foster." There was a warm tone to his voice and a fond smile on his face.

"Well," Loki continued. "I stayed with her father. We conversed over business for some time before we began to talk about Sigyn." He looked at Jane again as he began to go into further detail. "Our conversations always turned to Sigyn after I first met her. On that day, he brought it up. He commented that I had yet to bring her a gift—I always brought Sigyn a gift when I came to see her. Indeed, I hadn't that day, particularly because I was out of ideas of what to bring her." He chuckled lightly. To Loki's surprise, Jane also chuckled. He licked his lips before continuing. "Njord suggested that I bring her a different kind of gift. Curious, I followed him to their local blacksmith. Njord disappeared into the muddy building and returned several minutes later. He took my hand and placed a brass ring and chain in it. The chain was thin and long, so as to easily be hidden beneath my clothes.

"I was greatly confused by it and rather shocked that Njord would want me to give his daughter a brass ring on a chain. I could have thought of a thousand different items to give her that would have been better. Njord, being the wise man he is, told me to wear it so that Sigyn could see it.

"I did as I was told, but again, I asked why. He has this smile, Jane Foster, that he only uses when he knows better than you. He rhetorically said I loved his daughter, which I did. She stole my heart with her first shy glance a few years back. Njord and I had discussed many times over when I could marry her. Mostly, those conversations revolved around him telling me to wait because she was still a child. When the time was right, he would allow me to marry her." Loki took a deep breath, shaking his head at his impatience. He remembered those days so well when he used to beg All Father about any business to be conducted in Vanir, making social calls there for the silliest of things, and finishing his dinner quickly so that he could spend the afternoon with Sigyn before returning to Asgard for supper. Such simple, pleasant days those had been. "Well, he told me on the way back to finding Sigyn, that by wearing this necklace, I was honoring her heritage and company.

"As I did not wear my typical key when I came here, I found myself compelled to find another. To my luck, I found this one." He twisted it in between his thumb and index finger. "This is my way of continuing to pay tribute to my wife."

Jane laughed as he finished his story. Loki was the one who looked curiously at her. "Here I thought you were a big jerk," she spoke. "But—" For once, she seemed to smile warmly towards him. "You speak so fondly of her. That's not something I would have expected out of you, Loki," she admitted frankly. "Being the god of mischief, I can only imagine you doing something to harm her."

He snorted at her remark. His stomach rolled over on itself not once, not twice, but three times. Loki felt the rocks in his stomach tumbling. Mortals were truly ignorant... "Harm her?" Loki exclaimed, sounding insulted to the worst degree. "I would never harm my Sigyn. Firstly, and most importantly, I cannot harm her. If I ever dared to lay a foul hand upon her, my marriage to her would be annulled."

She titled to her head to the side. Her loose hair fell with it. "Why would your marriage be annulled?"

"Sigyn was Njord's favorite child, even though she was not related to him by blood," Loki answered patiently. "He was very protective of her because of what she had been through as a child." He turned his head away from Sigyn to stare out at the endless desert. He felt his heart beat sluggishly as the feeling of a small Sigyn, crying into his chest came rushing back to him. Loki could feel her ghost fingers gripping his sleeves, and the cloth material rubbing against his pale flesh. "When Frey found Sigyn, she was but a child. I mean, no older than six years at most. She was near death and brutally abused. The only reason Frey was able to get close to her was because she had no more strength to run." There was a strain his voice, a deep, seething hatred for those who had wronged his wife so. Jane had heard Loki threaten her twice, but never had she heard the kind of strong, instinctual protectiveness and hatred in his voice as she did now. He curled his fingers into tight fists until his knuckles lost all color.

Jane was dumbfounded. She had always heard stories of children abused, but they were just that, stories. She had never met anyone abused or known anyone who lived with someone abused. That seemed like a fact Thor should have included when describing his family, particularly his sister-in-law. But, as Jane thought back to it, Thor hadn't said much about Sigyn, other than she was married to Loki. Surely Thor had to know Sigyn was abused... All she could think to say came out as a mutter. "That's awful." She knew her words most likely only scratched the surface. "How could anyone do that?"

"Because she is a half-breed," Loki growled. "Among the Aesir, bloodlines are everything. So to treat something as she as an animal is not uncommon. Her case is an extreme in the fact her parents abandoned her but only after years of abuse." He sat in a hunched position, glaring at the floor. His brows were touching each other, a sign of deep thought. Of course, Odin was no exception to the rule. Loki's body began to shake with pent up fury. He could only imagine how much control it had taken Odin to fake those hugs and smiles towards him. How much energy and time had he invested into a love that never existed?

Jane felt lost, unsure of what to do. "Did she ever recover from it?" Maybe Thor did not say much about Sigyn because she never recovered from it? Somehow, it wouldn't shock Jane if she didn't. If she didn't, that would be a good reason for Thor not mentioning more about Sigyn's personality.

"No," Loki answered bluntly. "Not fully. She's—" He let out a hot, steamy breath, but it did little to relieve the pressure building inside of him. "Sigyn still have scars on her wrists from her time with her parents. She's absolutely terrified of open spaces or of too many people. She is extremely shy and elusive. It took her years to adjust eating supper with my family in Asgard with the Warriors Three and Sif. She's very submissive in public... My family does not know much about her because of her shyness." He felt the compulsion to fumbled the key in between his fingers. "But she's a totally different person one-on-one, Jane Foster. She is very sweet, loyal, and innocent like a child. In many, many ways she still is a child but a very wise one. She has this deep understanding that is beyond me. Somehow, just like a child, she can see passed all the lies and find the truth. Sigyn, she is—" Loki searched for the human word to describe what she was to him. It took him a moment to scroll through his Midgard vocabulary to find the word. "An angel? I believe that is the word."

She nodded. "That sounds right." Loki smiled at her approval. Jane touched his cool hand and gently squeezed it. He looked down at her hand before hesitatingly looking at Jane. There was no second motive in her eyes, no lies behind the squeeze, and no threat in the way she held his hand. He wouldn't say, but to have that touch of another's hand on his was something he missed dearly. "I'm sure she is fine, Loki. She's probably waiting for you to return to Asgard so that you can pick her up and kiss her." She felt her heart grow lighter at the thought.

Loki chuckled. "You want Thor to return to here so he can do the same thing?" Jane blushed but did not dismiss the idea. The god rolled his eyes as he rested against the chair once more to stare at the stars. "My brother is a horrible kisser."

"How would you know?" Jane asked lightly.

"If you get drunk enough, anything is fair game," Loki commented.

Jane too reclined in her chair. She crossed her arms over his abdomen. "I think you should stay away from alcohol," she insisted.

He laughed his first genuine laugh. "I come from Asgard, Jane Foster," he explained. "Drinking large amounts of alcohol is a requirement." Loki raised his hand to point at a distance star. "There is Asgard." Jane's eyes strained to see the dull star, but nonetheless, she could make out its limited light. "I will see you tomorrow some time to continue this conversation."

The chair creaked as Jane rolled onto her side. "Oh?" she inquired. "Where are you going?" But like before, he was gone from the chair. Somehow, it didn't surprise her, given the title bestowed upon Loki. Jane rolled her eyes. "Figures."