As Kit found all eyes on him he waved a dismissive hand, "Oh come on, Ziggy. Not today, I don't want to spoil the good mood."
"You won't spoil it! It doesn't have to be a sad story; it can be one of your funny ones. It doesn't matter which one even if it's the one about how you dressed up like a nun or had to chase Skip with your shoes and he fainted when he sniffed them. You always tell a story, please tell a story!" Ziggy pleaded. "And then show us some clown tricks, like the knife throwing again. I loved the knife throwing!"
"Whoa! Calm down Ziggy, I think you've had a tiddly bit too much sugar again. One thing at a time." Kit laughed at his friend's animation.
Like he had when he was six, Ziggy started jumping up and down. "Story first, story first, story first."
"Ok, I'll tell a story!" Kit exclaimed, holding his nerve.
"Yay!" Cheered Ziggy.
After a few minute's thought, a smile came to Kit's face and he cleared his throat before standing up. He was holding court and everyone waited for him to begin. Unsure of the nature of Kit's story, Bessie found herself subconsciously reaching into her handbag for some tissues. More than once she'd found herself in need of them when Kit told one of his stories, especially those, like so many that were sad.
"I do have a story. I was just shy of twenty one. I'd been staying in ToothTown, Boris' favourite place in the whole wide world," Kit began, pausing and laughing at Boris shuddering then gagging at the name of the place he'd been totally disgusted by. At Boris' nod he continued. "When I left there I moved on and after a week or two weeks I came across a small town."
Robyn bit her lip and shook her head at Kit while she tried not to smile. She knew where this was going. Kit winked at her and carried on.
"I wasn't really expecting to stay, just to kind of pass on through but I saw the most beautiful thing in the whole wide world. A young woman, just shy of eighteen, doing tai chi and I watched her. I fell hopelessly in love with her the moment our eyes met and when I got to know her I found that..." Kit paused again, smiling and moving towards Robyn before he started to sing:
When she was just a girl
She expected the world
But it flew away from her reach so
She ran away in her sleep
And dreamed of
Para-para-paradise, Para-para-paradise, Para-para-paradise
Every time she closed her eyes
When she was just a girl
She expected the world
But it flew away from her reach
And the bullets catch in her teeth
Life goes on, it gets so heavy
The wheel breaks the butterfly
Every tear a waterfall
In the night the stormy night she'll close her eyes
In the night the stormy night away she'd fly
And dream of
Para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise
Oh oh oh oh oh oh-oh-oh
She'd dream of
Para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise
Oh oh oh oh oh oh-oh-oh-oh
La-la-la-la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
And so lying underneath those stormy skies
She'd say, "oh, ohohohoh I know the sun must set to rise"
This could be
Para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise
This could be
Para-para-paradise
Oh oh oh oh oh oh-oh-oh
This could be
Para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise
This could be
Para-para-paradise
Oh oh oh oh oh oh-oh-oh-oh
Whoops and cheers went up as Kit's lips met those of a red faced Robyn who couldn't help but smile against him. As he reluctantly broke off the kiss he touched her forehead with his before stifling a laugh at a sound he heard someone make.
"Problem, Langford?" Boris remarked at his second's mock retching sounds.
Langford nodded and pretended to look for something under the table, "Where's that sick bucket? I hate all this lovey dovey nonsense."
"Have you never been in love?" Queried Stephanie, none too impressed with Langford's display.
"My love, my only love, is my job and that sudden urge to go out and sow your wild oats before you bite it."
Stephanie frowned slightly, "But love is a good thing, it's a powerful thing."
"Pah! Love is wasted on the young. You fritter it away, take it for granted, let it control you and eat you up. You only truly appreciate love when you're older and what it does to you. It screws up your head and leaves too many loose ends because there will always be someone left behind when you die."
Stingy added himself to the conversation, "You're very blasé about death aren't you?"
"Not exactly though I have pictured exactly how I'd like to be when it happens. Ideally I'd be in bed with a bottle of rum and French prostitute but I'd settle for anything so long as it was quick. As long as I can say I've grabbed each day by the balls and given it a good squeeze, I'm happy. Even though I have the views that I do it doesn't necessarily mean I'd go looking to meet my maker any time soon."
Doctor Cole smiled and leaned on the table, "I've worked as a doctor a long time and I've seen and heard a lot of things but I have to admit you're a breath of fresh air. I do however think that you speak like a man, like our friend Kit, that has stared death in the face. Am I wrong?"
"Oh no, you're right. I've stared death in the face and I spat on the bastard."
Several people around the table laughed while Boris leaned back in his chair, "Show them your scar, Langford."
Without hesitation Langford stood and unzipped his jacket. Untucking his t-shirt he gave everyone a good view of a scar that ran almost half way across the entirety of his abdomen. Several people had seen it during his pursuit of Kit on nude day but none had thought to ask him of its origin. Tucking his shirt back in and zipping his jacket up he sat down.
"What happened there?" Mayor Meanswell asked, vividly remembering the scar he'd just seen.
Langford raised and lowered both eyebrows before replying, "Training accident. We were on a survival reconnaissance mission. I was trying to work out a new piece of equipment and all I really know is that one minute I'm standing there activating the thing, the next I'm flat on my back watching several body parts trying to vacate the premises. Good old Boris, being the Russian power house that he is, comes running in and stuffs them back in for me. He picks me up and gets me out of there and in the field hospital faster than a nun's fart. If it wasn't for him I'd have been binned that day." Realising that he'd made things a little gloomy and feeling in need of brightening up, he changed the subject. "Did someone mention something about Kit doing knife throwing?"
Almost having forgotten completely but being reminded by Langford, Ziggy started to jump up and down excitedly again. "Me! Me! Come on Kit, I'll help you get your equipment."
Before anyone could say another word, Ziggy was off like a shot. Raising his eyes to the sky then dropping them back down again, Kit kissed Robyn before making after him. A few minutes later, the two men returned carrying Kit's knife throwing apparatus. Quickly setting it up on the dance floor, Kit sharpened his knives and smiled at Langford.
"I take it you're volunteering then?"
"Why not?" Langford responded and stretched before getting up and positioning himself against the board, double checking that all the balloons were in the right places. He allowed Ziggy to place the pillow case over his head and his voice was muffled when he asked, "Is he any good?"
Kit let out a short laugh and when Ziggy was clear he threw his knives in quick succession, popping the first four balloons. There wasn't a man in the room that didn't cross his legs as Pixel pressed a button on his wrist gadget and gave Kit a drum roll. With a mock scream, Kit threw the last knife and the final balloon popped.
"Never ask a knife thrower if they're any good," He light-heartedly warned Langford as he came over to him to retrieve his knifes. Taking the first four out of the board he paused when it came to the one between Langford's legs and he went, "Ah."
Langford detected the 'ah' and queried it, "What?"
"Erm...Langford, are you Jewish?"
"No!"
"You are now."
Pained laughter erupted around the room. Feeling that his assistance was required, Doctor Cole walked over to the pair and lent his medical eye to the situation. Leaning down he tried to judge his patient's composure, "What's your first name, Langford?"
"Norman." Langford responded calmly.
"I wouldn't be so sure about that anymore." Kit joked, earning himself a slap around the head from Langford.
Doctor Cole shook his head and stood up, removing the pillow case from Langford's head. "He's just winding you up. At worst I'd say the knife has just glanced you, I'm sure if Kit would be so kind as to carefully remove it you should be fine to go and inspect the damage."
Langford locked eyes with Kit, grabbed him firmly by the lapels and very slowly said, "Don't...sneeze."
Drawing in and releasing a few deep breaths, Kit composed himself. Avoiding laughing long enough to remove the knife, he deftly removed it. With a loud sigh of relief Langford moved from the board before roughly grabbing the laughing clown by his collar and dragging him out of the building with him, calling time on the antics.
Dabbing his forehead with a handkerchief, Mayor Meanswell announced that without further ado it was time for the presents.