When he got to the stream, Zuko dunked his head in without holding his breath. The water was like ice, not yet heated by the morning sun. He washed the dried blood out of his hair, and stayed down until his lungs began to burn, and when he pulled his head out, dripping wet, Katara was standing to his left, bundles of clothes in her arms.
"Let me check you for any more injuries," she said. Mercifully, she didn't bring up Aang and his stupid pacifist monk ways, but she did look very distracted. She was scowling and shaking her head.
Obliging, Zuko took off his shirt and turned his back to her. Katara checked his back, then turned him around to prod his ribs. He winced a little, but nothing seemed broken. She nodded absently when she was satisfied, but her eyes were transfixed on the star shaped scar on his chest. He watched as she gingerly traced the outline of his lightning scar, then the scars the Yu Yuan arrows left. He grabbed her hand where it lay against his chest and gave it a squeeze. He let her feel his heart beat. He was alive.
"I don't understand how one man can be so twisted and yet so…loyal." She shook her head as if she were tossing the thoughts out of her mind.
"Your turn," Zuko said, and waited as she removed her shirt. He checked her for any wounds she might have missed. "You've got one on your back."
Nodding, Katara directed water from the stream over her back, and it started glowing.
"Why does he refer to your mother like that?"
Zuko smiled. "When the Fire Lord dies and his son takes over, she becomes the Fire Lady Queen Mother. If the son is unmarried at the time of coronation, she continues all the duties of the Fire Lady. If he is married, the Fire Lady duties transfer to the new Fire Lady, but the Queen Mother keeps the title in recognition for her service to her country. Depending on how influential she is, she'll still take on some governance. Mostly, it's shortened to the Lady Mother."
"Ozai's not dead, though."
"No. Referring to mom as the Lady Mother acknowledges Ozai's powerlessness and non-standing in the political realm."
Impulsively, Zuko leaned forward and kissed Katara. When he pulled away, his smile was bigger than ever. It was the thrill of doing something so completely forbidden, the excitement of possibly being caught, the knowledge that they weren't dead, and he'd made her a promise, and he intended on keeping it, even if it did include divulging some damaging secrets. He kissed her again.
"I wish I'd thought of it. Think of how many times I could have used it to insult Ozai."
Katara rolled her eyes, but to his immense delight, she leaned in to kiss him, and when she pulled away, he wrapped his arm around her waist and held her to him as he slid his tongue into her mouth, coaxing a moan out of her.
"Really, Zoozie," she said panting and blushing, her hand absently touching her lips, and any distance fading away. "I swear you attract crazy people."
Katara cupped his cheek, running her thumb over his scar. She was back there with him, trusting, loving. Zuko felt thoroughly satisfied with himself.
They returned to camp clean and in new clothes, and sat by the fire to accept a late breakfast. Zuko still had his dao strapped to his back, the daggers he picked up, and the throwing knives. Katara was wearing all four of her waterskins, and had replaced Zuko's dagger in the sash of the clean pants. She'd already washed, dried, and folded their old clothes. It struck Zuko that they must look like a rather formidable pair, given the wide berth many people were giving them. Although there were more than a few people smiling suggestively at them.
"I finally decided on what to get you for your eighteenth birthday," Zuko said.
"That was random."
"I know, but it's going to be the best gift you get."
"Someone's mighty sure of themselves."
"Someone must not remember who our friends are. I can almost guarantee you that Uncle will get you something tea or herb-like. Hakoda will give you something belonging to your mother, probably something you used to love as a little girl. Sokka will try to get you meat or something he really likes, but Suki won't let him."
Katara laughed. "You know us too well, though guessing Iroh and Sokka don't count. They're the most obvious ones."
Chem came back to them. Zuko found it irritating that he never managed to be far.
"It is good to see my lord and Master Lady Katara are in better spirits. If you don't mind me intruding, I was wondering when his majesty had to be back."
Katara shot Chem a look that said she very much minded the intrusion. Zuko thought it over. He'd only budgeted a week and a half for this entire thing, including travel time, and he'd already burned through most of it. There would be enough time in his plan to get back to the capitol and maybe rest for a day, before he had to be the Fire Lord again. He ran his hands through his hair. He'd never expected to find Chem, and Chem was the strongest link to his mother that he'd ever come across. To leave now… He couldn't just drop this and depend on Chem to put him in contact with the right people. It would be giving an untrustworthy man too much power.
But a week and a half was pushing it. He could leave Hau and a few others in charge whenever he needed to be away, but a week was as long as people were able to go without devolving and turning to cannibalism and setting the capitol on fire without him.
"Your majesty?"
He could possibly just follow Chem, but then Hau would get worried and send out a search party, and he'd become another Kuei. There'd be mutiny because he'd 'abandoned his position.' He groaned. There were so many times he wished he'd stayed a refugee in Ba Sing Se. Now, he was just trapped. He couldn't go anywhere without someone wanting to know where and for how long.
"As soon as possible would be best," he said dejectedly. "There is…something…I should take care of." He ignored the look Katara gave him, deciding a visit to Ozai would be the only perk for abandoning the search.
"Then if it pleases my lord, I will arrange a party for him and Master Lady Katara to return to the capitol this afternoon." Chem had just dismissed them. Zuko would be able to get nothing else from him. Chem addressed Katara. "There are a few people I can put you in touch with. They will not believe anything you say at first, and you will have to earn their trust, but I believe they can get you closer to speaking with the Lady Mother Ursa."
Zuko's head snapped up. "Who?"
"I won't tell you their names out loud. I believe I am the only one here who knows of their connection to the Lady Mother. They will ask you to do things to prove your loyalty, things that will benefit them, and not always benefit you," Chem whispered, still addressing Katara.
"They wouldn't believe her own son, or they wouldn't believe you?" Katara asked.
"It is more that they have learned to be cautious. His majesty's reign is still young, and people are still wary. It is not entirely out of the realm of possibility that he joined the Avatar and overthrew his father to seize power for himself."
Katara snapped to instant-rage. Her face contorted into a grimace, and she readied her jabbing finger. "First you—"
"It's okay, Katara," Zuko said, grabbing her hand before she put Chem's eye out. But she was glaring at him. He could feel her burning a hole in the side of his head.
"One hundred years of war and death has made people stubborn, overly cautious, and suspicious of hope."
"Whatever needs to be done, I'll do it," Zuko said.
"Whatever it takes," Katara echoed.
True to Chem's word, they were on the road to the capitol by the afternoon, with a guard of twelve soldiers. They made the journey largely in silence, the guards sometimes chatting amongst themselves. Zuko preferred to think of all the ways he could get to the prison to run an "errand" without Katara noticing. If she was there, she'd surely stop him from visiting Ozai, afraid of what he might do when even he wasn't sure what he'd do yet. He just hated the very idea that Ozai should only sit in jail while the world was still reeling from the mess he created. It wasn't fair.
/
Chem was sad to have to send some of his men out. They would miss the funeral; it wasn't exactly fair to them, but they understood and said they would pay their respects later. It was necessary for them to babysit the Fire Lord and his lover. It was part of the mission, and he felt vindicated when he'd been able to tell the group he believed the waterbender was seriously thinking over the proposal. It was worth it for the looks on Long's and Inara's faces alone. They always thought they knew better. They could not ignore the truth when it was in their faces.
Several people were busy arranging the bodies for burial, and Chem walked over to watch the preparation. Personal artifacts had been removed and the dead were laid out on the ground. As was the way of their people, they would be cremated, and if possible, their ashes would be returned to their families. If not, they would be scattered on their homeland. They may have been exiled in life, but they would not be denied in death.
"It is foolish to hope that death would never happen," Chem said to the assembled. "The spirits gave us the burden of life, and they also gave us the burden of death, but they do not make us walk alone. Those we send off today did not leave this world without making their mark. We would not be gathered here if they hadn't made that mark in each of our hearts and our minds. Their deaths were the deaths of soldiers during a war. Their deaths were the deaths of soldiers fighting for a just cause. Let us honor their memories in the best way we can."
He looked up at the sky for a measure. It was a bright, nearly cloudless day. A good day for sending spirits to Agni. They would not become lost or find their way impeded.
"Agni, guide them and keep them safe. Keep them so that we may see them again sometime, but not too soon."
One by one, he called off their names, and their bodies were burned. It was a long process, but no one moved or complained. Every now and then, one person or another would call out an amusing story they remembered, or something the deceased liked to do. The funeral dirge started up again, and their voices carried into the forest. Chem wished he had some incense to burn in their honor, but he had nothing. He would burn it later. They all stood in the camp and held vigil until the last of the ashes were gathered.
"For now, let us remember that the wheels are in motion." Chem said to them. "We will return home, and our nation will be glorious again. We may well see it in our own lifetimes."
After the funeral, the camp was speedily disassembled, and the clearing restored to the way it was when they first arrived. They mounted up, and began the march to the harbor, where they would board the ships that would take them out of the Fire Nation and back to relative safety in the anonymity of the million or so nameless, faceless travelers and refugees.
Long had questioned whether Chem wasn't taking things too far, being too paranoid. He couldn't let such doubts enter his mind. The Fire Nation had been hostile for too long, and he wasn't about to let his guard down just so Ozai's progeny could destroy it all again. He may blame his council for those things—holding the colonies hostage, harboring war criminals, lying about finances, denying aid to those in need—but he was the Fire Lord. He had ultimate control over everything. He was refusing to take responsibility for his action. The council acted on his orders.
The march to the docks was long and tiring, and they reached their ships by evening. They did not stop at the restaurants or the bars on the dock, simply getting on separate ships that would whisk them away to safety. Chem boarded a ship with Bo headed for Ba Sing Se. From there, they might go other places, but Ba Sing Se was a good start; it seemed to be the center of everything. They could be lost among the crowds.
"What if Master Katara had flat out refused to listen?" Long asked before Chem boarded
"The important thing is that she didn't. We cannot afford to indulge in what ifs. We must deal with what is."
Had things gone the other way, perhaps Chem wouldn't have said this, and he readily acknowledged this—silently. For the moment, things were on track. She would consider the offer, and when she realized the wisdom of his words, she would tell the people he'd put her in contact with. They would get word back to him, and his army would merge with the Fire Lord's army. They would integrate, but they would not be assimilated, they would not become one giant mush. They were still the petals gathered around the bud that was the Lady Mother Ursa, and they would answer to him, and he would answer to her, and the Fire Nation would be glorious again.
"And what makes you so sure that she'll take what you said to heart?" Inara challenged, grabbing Chem's sleeve when turned away. "It's written all over their faces that they don't trust you."
"Because," said Chem, his head held high. "It is in her very nature to fight against the wrongs of this world. She will see to it that things are made right."
A/N: Just three more chapters before we switch gears and start trying to find our way home again. Chem's right about Katara, though. It is in her nature to fight against the wrongs of this world. Also, I tried to slip in a reminder of Chem's (political) problem with Zuko. For those that were a little confused, I hope that helps to clear it up. P.S. Zuko does attract the crazy. This is proven fact. *nods*