Authors notes: OK...this is the smuttiest bit I have written to date, and I am blushing as I am posting this. *Ahem* Enjoy.
Making my way through the dark street, I had an unsettling feeling that I was being watched. It was like that for a few days following the banquet. Everywhere I went, I felt eyes piercing through me, but no one was ever seen. I was alone, and although I knew I could handle myself, I didn't want to take any chances. I took a shortcut through a back alley and ran around the corner. I was almost home, my estate was in sight. I wanted to sprint for the door, but curiosity got the best of me. I had to know who was following me. Turning around, I saw quick movements in the shadows.
"Alright. I know someone's there, and I don't take kindly to stalkers. Are you going to show yourself, or are we going to do this the hard way?" I threatened, letting my hands glow brightly. The figure came out, hands stretched outwards in defense.
"It's me, Hawke."
"Fenris?" His face came into view, and a look of gloom was spread across it. "Why were you following me?"
"I - I don't know." He looked like a lost child, completely confused and unsure of himself.
"You've been drinking again, haven't you?" I knew the answer, even when he didn't respond to my question. "Please talk to me. I'm so worried about you."
"You...you almost died." Fenris looked deeply upset, his eyes were sorrowful, looking into the depths of my soul.
"Yes, I almost died." I acknowledged. He bit his lip, and we stared at each other for a few moments, neither of us speaking a word. He fidgeted in place, looking as if he was torn between coming closer to me or running away. He chose the former and closed the gap, our bodies mere inches away from each other. He placed his hand on my cheek tenderly, his eyes soft, the green in them shining brilliantly.
"I'm glad you didn't." He pulled his hand back quickly, and now avoided my gaze. "Hawke, there's something I need to tell you."
"What is it?" His eyes shifted back and forth quickly, becoming frantic.
"I... I need to go." He turned and took quick strides away from me.
"Fenris?" I called out to him, but he kept walking.
Isabela never did write. Months passed and I found myself still worried about her. I leaned over my writing desk, scrounging through many unopened letters, trying to see if there was anything from her. Not a word. Was she hurt? Did Castillion catch up to her? I felt so helpless, not knowing what became of her. I felt Anders strong arms wrap around me, and I leaned into him as he kissed my neck.
"Still no sign of her?" He knew exactly what I was frantically searching for, he had come to know me so well. I turned and placed my hands around his neck, shaking my head.
"I'm sure Isabela's fine. She's probably just having some fun. You know how she is."
"Do I ever." I smiled. I hoped Anders was right - that she was too busy engaging in lots of sex with various men and simply forgotten to write.
"You look stressed. Come, let me take care of your worries." A sly grin reached his face and I knew what was in store for me. If there was one thing I loved about Anders, was that he knew how to make me forget about all the troubles that I carried with me day to day.
Anders rolled over, both of us panting for air. Beads of sweat dripped off his forehead and he was flushed with colour. Immediately post coitus, my mind raced to Isabela again. She was really getting the best of me that day. Anders turned and noticed my worry.
"Well, obviously I failed to please."
"No no, it's just..."
"Isabela again?" I nodded. Anders brow furrowed, deep in thought. I could tell something was bothering him.
"Sovereign for your thoughts?" I inquired.
"Love, can I ask you a question?"
"You can ask me anything."
"Are you happy with our sex life?"
"Of course, I am! Why would you think otherwise?"
"It's just that you've seemed a little distracted lately whenever we've been intimate, and I worry you are growing bored." I leaned over and gently kissed his soft lips.
"I've just had a lot going on. I'm sorry."
"So, there's nothing you'd like to try? I'm asking because it is our anniversary next week, and I wanted to please you." Our anniversary - had it really been a year already? I would have never known, I was so busy taking care of the city's problems, I barely had any time to breathe, let alone think.
"Hawke?" Anders asked again, snapping me out of my train of thought.
"Sorry." I thought back to his question. Sex with Anders was amazing, mind-blowing really. He never failed to give me release and was so very attentive. That was just it though, he was always gentle, slow, romantic. I did love this soft side, but every once in awhile I would think, just for a moment, of that night with Fenris. He was Anders' complete opposite: rough, dominating, and demanding. Something about giving up all control made me melt into a puddle of raw pleasure. In life, I was always the leader, always calling the shots. It was nice to have someone take control for once, and I occasionally wondered if Anders would ever be able to dominate me in such a way.
"Okay, I know that look. There is something you want from me. Come on, spit it out." He playfully nudged my ribs and I laughed. I was hesitant to bring the subject up. Would he be offended if I asked for such an act? He was so tender I had trouble picturing him being anything else, but there was also a dark side to him, one that I had seldom seen.
"Alright, alright." I turned on my side, leaning into my hand as he did the same staring back at me intently. "There is something that I would really enjoy, but if you're not up for it, I won't be offended. You can forget I even asked."
"Sweetheart, I'm sure there would be very little I would say no to. I did have a life before you, you know."
"Okay. Would you consider...I mean...could we possibly try something a little more, rough?"
"Rough how? There are many ways that can be interpreted."
"Well, I do love how passionate and tender you are with me, it is one of your finest qualities actually. You're my sweet Anders, that's what I adore about you. But sometimes, I would like to give up all control and grant it to you. Let you have your wily way with me." I said, blushing at the words that escaped my lips. I had been avoiding his stare, and when I looked up, I was greeted with a wicked grin.
"So you want to submit to my desires, is that what you're saying?" The aching returned to my sex when he spoke this way.
"In a manner of speaking, yes." He stroked my cheek and I kissed his hand.
"It's not that I haven't had the desire to, quite the opposite really. Hawke, there's something I've never really discussed with you. After Justice and I merged, there was no one. Not until you. I didn't know what intimacy would be like with him inside of me. There are times where I can feel him stirring, and that streak of dominance begs for release. I've just been so scared of losing control in the moment, I have had to hold back. But, if this is something you truly want, we can give it a go."
It took me a few moments to fully comprehend what he was telling me. "You've been holding back this entire time?"
"For the most part, yes. It's not been easy."
"Have you still enjoyed it?"
"Of course love, it's just been challenging sometimes. To maintain composure. But now that I know you'd like to try something a little more kinky, I am quite excited actually." I let out a deep breath I didn't realise I was holding, relieved that he wasn't upset.
"So," he said after a moment. "We should talk about boundaries."
"Boundaries?"
"Yes. Is there anything you'd be against me doing? I'd like to know beforehand."
"Hmmm," I thought for a moment. "I can't imagine you'd do anything that I would dislike. You've always pleased me so." I said, stroking his hair.
"Yes well, remember, I have been holding back." Anders had a smug smile on his face. I knew right away he had something particular in mind, and I was nervous and excited at once.
"What's going on in that devious brain of yours?"
"You'll see." He chuckled, and planted a kiss on my cheek. "On our anniversary."
On our anniversary night, Anders cooked me a romantic dinner. He gave my servants the night off, and we were alone. I wore a black and blue dress that I picked out a few days earlier. Anders touched at it all night, constantly telling me how "beautiful" I looked. Blue was his favorite colour, after all. We sat across from each other, candles lay out across the table. I had to hand it to the man, he was very skilled in the kitchen. I unfortunately was a much better fighter than cook. While there were a handful of recipes I learned from my mother that I could execute flawlessly, beyond them I was hopeless. After dinner, I reached under the table for a parcel I had stored there. I handed it to Anders.
"A gift? For me?" He slowly removed the wrapping and his eyes lit right up. I was in the market in Lowtown when I came across an artist's stall. Right away, a picture jumped out at me that just screamed "Anders". It was a painting of an orange tabby. It reminded me of the cat Anders used to talk about all the time. I knew how much he missed his cat.
"This...this looks just like Ser Pounce-A-Lot!" He exclaimed, his eyes staring adoringly at the picture. "Oh Sweetheart, thank you so much." He leaned forward and tenderly brushed his lips against mine. "I will hang it up in our room tomorrow. You have no idea just how much I love it."
"Then I am glad I bought it."
"Well, I would give you your present here, but I'm afraid it's waiting in the bedroom."
"Shall we head that way, then?" I smirked, and his eyes lit right up.
"I was afraid you'd never ask." He took my hand, as we ambled up the stairs. In front of our door he grabbed me and pinned me against the wall, kissing me fiercely. I moaned into his mouth as his erection pushed into my legs.
"There are a few rules before we go in there."
"Rules?" I asked sheepishly. My nerves were beginning to kick in.
"Well, one rule. As soon as that door opens, "sweet" Anders is gone. If I ask something, you will comply. Unless - and this is the rule - If I hurt you in any way, or if I do something you really don't like, you must tell me. I want you to enjoy this as much as I do, and while I want you to submit to me, if something happens that you are going to hate, tell me to stop, and I will, immediately. Got that?"
"Yes," I breathed out, just wanting to get to it already. Anders leaned in and kiss me before pulling away. "Very well, love." And then he opened the bedroom door.
It was dark, and I could barely see a thing. The door closed behind me.
"Anders?" I asked, and I felt his hand wrap around my neck as he stood behind me. His mouth pressed against my ear and I could feel his hot breath.
"Do not say a word, not unless I tell you to. Understand?" I breathed out slowly, shivering all over. His hands tangled in my hair wrapping his fingers around. He pulled my head back, not hurting me but rough enough to get his point across. "I asked you a question. Do you understand?"
"Yes."
"Good. Then get to the bed, and strip." I found my way to the bed, and Anders lit a few candles, just enough for there to be a dim light. I pulled my dress over my head and slid out of my underclothes. When I turned around, Anders was already naked, watching me intently.
"Lay on the bed, and spread your legs."
I lay back, my head sinking into a pillow. Anders sat at the foot of the bed, his eyes never leaving my naked body. Slowly my legs parted, and he licked his lips.
"Put your fingers inside." I let my right hand graze slowly down my abdomen until I found my core. Two of my fingers sank into my wetness and I heard Anders catch his breath.
"Now move them, in and out." My hand worked back and forth, obeying his command.
"Very good, my little Hawke. Pretend that your fingers are me, stretching you out. That's what you really want, isn't it?"
"Yes," I quietly moaned.
"Well now, you're going to have to prove to me that you deserve it." I moaned again, his words alone were enough to get me off.
"Come here. Crawl to me. On your knees, little girl." I sat upright before I got onto my knees. "Look at me." He demanded sternly. I held his gaze as I crawled towards him.
"Very good," he placed his hand along my jawline softly. "Take me in your mouth now, and don't stop until I tell you."
I lowered my head to his erection, and took him into my mouth. I went to wrap a hand around him, as I always had, but then he spoke. "Nuh uh, hands behind your back." I was confused for a second, but then he grabbed my arms, joining them together at the wrist, and he held them there. "Now suck." I moaned into him and resumed. My tongue lazily swept over the head as I pushed myself further onto his member. With his free hand he pushed my head downwards, so that I was forced to take his entire length in. He began to thrust his hips back and forth. Wet smacking sounds of my lips against him filled the room. Anders grunted and pulled away.
"I think I like your hands like this." He let go of me and walked over the our night stand, pulling out some rope. He came back to me, and tied my hands in place, behind my back.
"Lie on your stomach now." I complied and did as he said. This was a side of Anders I only dreamed of seeing. Every word, every demand made me ache for him. I longed for him to be inside me. I felt the bed shift as he got behind me. The tip of his length pressed against my entrance.
"Tell me what you want."
"I want you." I moaned.
"Not good enough." he said, and a sudden smack came across my backside. "Now, are you going to be a good girl and tell me what you want?"
"I want you inside of me. Please, give it to me, Anders!" He moaned and with one quick thrust he filled me up completely. His hands grabbed my hips and he began to pump into me hard and fast. Every now and then he delivered another smack, and the sting made me want more. Anders moved a hand down to the crevice of my rear, and a finger crept down to the entrance there. I shivered as he stroked it. Anders had touched me there several times, but not often, and it was never more than gentle stroking. He pulled his hands away and reached for something he had laid out on the bed. I heard a pop and then the sound of liquid pouring out. It reminded me of the massage he gave me on my birthday. The smell hit my nose. Yes, it was definitely the massage oil. I felt a slick finger press against my entrance again, and Anders stopped his thrusting inside of me. He smeared the oil across me and I whimpered.
"You're loving this, aren't you, filthy girl?"
"Yes, don't stop."
I felt one finger slowly, and gently probe into me and I gasped. Anders began to move it in and out slowly, as his member was still inside my other entrance. The feeling was different, but it was just as good. He delicately pushed a second finger inside, and I moaned out.
"Tell me how this feels."
"It feels different."
"Bad different?"
"No, good." I heard him chuckle with delight. He began to thrust into me again, his fingers moving along with him. I felt so full, feeling him in both places at once. Having my hands bound behind me only added to the experience. "Look at you! You want me to fuck you in there, don't you?" His words ignited my passion, I could feel myself drench him when he talked dirty like this. My sweet, soft spoken Anders had a naughty side.
I thought about it for a moment, but decided I wanted nothing more than to please him. If it became too much, I could always tell him to stop. "Yes." I finally answered.
Anders pulled out and undid the rope that tied my hands together. He grabbed me and flipped me onto my back. "Legs up." he ordered, and I placed my legs above his shoulders. He grabbed onto the vial of oil, and slicked himself with it.
"Are you ready?" He asked me, and I nodded. "Alright, tell me to stop if it hurts." I looked to my side, and then I felt his hand turn my face. "Look at me. I want to see your face when I take you." I looked him in the eyes, and felt the tip of his member slowly push into my back entrance. It slid in carefully, with ease of the oil. He didn't move for a minute or so, letting my body adjust to him. He pushed forward and I moaned as he filled me completely. His breath was heavy and his eyes were dark with lust.
"Can I start moving?" I nodded at him and he pulled back, only to push back forward again. The pain was little, and mixed in with the pleasure I felt incredible. He moved a finger to my nub and let little shocks of electricity shoot through me, causing me to cry out in ecstasy. As soon as the ministrations from the shocks began, he moved faster and I had never felt such intense pleasure in my entire life. My moans and cries became louder and he thrust fast and hard. I looked up at him, shocked at the sight before me. His eyes were glowing blue, as they did before when Justice took control, but Anders voice was the same - just ever so slightly deeper. It was still my love in control, finally giving in to his animalistic urges.
He grunted and groaned and I knew he was close, as was I. A finger slid inside my core and that did it, I began to scream his name. "That's it, cum for me." he groaned. My climax pulsated through me, stronger than it ever had before. My walls gripped at his finger and then I heard him shouting. He thrust into me a few more times, ejaculating into me. He finally slowed and then stopped altogether. He tenderly pulled out of me, and collapsed on the bed beside me, breathing hard. His eyes returned to their normal honey brown and he pulled me into his arms.
"Alright love, "sweet" Anders is back," he panted beside me and I giggled.
"Is he now? Cause that other guy did some nasty things a minute ago." Guilt swept across his face suddenly.
"But you agreed you'd tell me to stop if you didn't like it!" he complained. I placed a finger across his lips.
"Shh, I was only teasing."
"Was it alright, then?"
"Yes. I quite enjoyed it, actually."
"Really? Because I've wanted to try that with you for some times. I was just afraid..."
"Anders, I love you. And I love everything you have done with me. Let's be more open with each other from now on, alright?"
He leaned forward and kissed me. "I think I can live with that."