Authors notes: This has to be another favorite chapter of mine. Hope you guys like it! Send me a review or message and let me know :-)

A few years passed and the tension in Kirkwall was great. With the Viscount dead, Knight-Commander Meredith reigned as the most powerful person in the city. She had the mages under a tight leash, and disorder amongst the templars and mages was constant. I was a referee of sorts, always stepping in to try and calm the situation. I knew with every fibre of my being that something drastic needed to change, or else chaos was bound to happen.

Anders delved deep into the mage underground. For almost a year, he had been growing increasingly distant, putting all of his energies into his manifesto and trying to find a way to free those who were locked in the circle. For a while, I spent many hours helping him but with the city's growing demands for "the Champion" I had to focus my energies elsewhere. Anders was furious with me and accused me of not caring about my kind. It led to many fights between us, but eventually he gave up. He sank into a deep depression and it was so hard for us to communicate. I knew he loved me still, there was never a doubt of that in my mind. We just needed time for things to sort themselves out, I kept telling myself.

I decided to bring him supper to his clinic one evening. For a whole week he did not come home until almost dawn, and I wanted to make sure he was eating, at the very least. I was so worried for him. More mages were being arrested every week and it was well known that he was a healer. I was positive that the only reason he remained free for so long was because of his connection to me, but even I couldn't keep him safe from the Templars if the Knight-Commander sent for him. I quickly packed up his meal and headed to the clinic.

When I arrived at the clinic he was frantically scrambling through papers, and huffing to himself. He sighed aggravated, and then noticed me at the door.

"I brought you supper." I said, moving towards him. He slumped into the chair as I placed the container at his desk.

"Thank you, love," he said absently, still looking at the mess that laid before him.

"Are you alright?"

"Is that a serious question? Meredith has crossed the line. Every day good men, men I know, are being thrown into the circle, with no just cause. I am about to lose my mind. She needs to be stopped!" he hollered, directing his anger towards me.

"I know how you feel Anders, but..."

"You know how I feel? Really?" he stood up, staring at me angrily. "How many of your friends have been thrown in that prison? What exactly have you done to stop it? That's right. You and the Knight-Commander are such good friends now, aren't you? Running to her the second she beckons for you."

"You know that's not true! I despise that woman just as much as the next person. I will always side with the mages, no matter what. I am trying to keep things from falling apart, Anders. Did it even occur to you that one of the reasons I try to stay on her good side is so she won't take you away from me?" I fumed, unable to maintain my composure. It felt as if in a way she already had taken him from me, he was completely absent, focusing completely on his cause. For months I sat by and said nothing while he pulled away from me, I couldn't stay silent any longer. "And just why are you giving me this attitude? I came here to check up on you and bring you a meal, since I never even see you anymore. But clearly it was a mistake!" I yelled, turning on my heel to leave. I felt Anders hand grasp my arm.

"No, wait." He said, his voice now returning to its normal tone. I slowly turned around to face him, and his face no longer held any traces of anger, just suffering.

"I'm so sorry. I haven't been myself lately. It's just... I need to stop her Hawke. This needs to end. Justice won't let me rest. He won't let me give up until we find a solution to this madness."

"Will you be coming home soon, at least? Surely Justice doesn't expect you to find a solution by tonight."

"Yes, I shouldn't be much longer."

"I'll see you there, then." I headed for the door but before I turned the corner, Anders called to me once more.

"Hawke?"

"Yes, Anders?"

"I do love you."

"I know. I love you too."

It was dark and Anders still did not return. I had been sitting in the foyer, blankly staring at the door. Another lie, I thought to myself. Feeling infuriated, I stormed off to our bedroom. Going through papers on the desk, I found several copies of his manifesto. Hastily, I snatched them up and marched over to my fire placed and tossed them into the flames. I felt a great deal of satisfaction watching them burn. That damn manifesto and his plans for the mage underground had been consuming Anders and I was just a presence in the back of his mind. I hated it.

I was fed up of waiting around for him, so I grabbed a book and headed towards Fenris' mansion. Ten months prior, we picked up our reading lessons again. He was now at the point where he almost needed no assistance. During the years that my reading lessons had stopped, he practiced on his own.

Mostly he would read aloud to me and once in awhile, he would ask for clarification on a word. He was asking less and less now, but it was nice to listen to him read. His voice was smooth and it reminded me of being a child, when my parents would read to Bethany, Carver, and myself when they tucked us in bed.

I know it may have been wrong, but I often turned to Fenris during Anders' absence. I was becoming increasingly lonely in my estate. My mother was gone and Anders was almost never home. I needed a friend to talk to, and because Isabela left three years prior, Fenris was my closest friend. I never spoke about the state of my relationship with him. We would read and have a few drinks, just like we did before things got so complicated between the two of us. It felt nice to have Fenris back in my life without the hostility. Anders was not crazy about it, but then again he wasn't home half the time to know where I even was. If he wanted to stay out all hours of the night, than he had no right to tell me who I could spend my evenings with.

I entered Fenris' home and heard voices come from the other room. It took me a moment to recognise the other as Sebastian's. I stood in the doorway a moment, listening in.

"You know, when I return to Starkhaven you're welcome to come with me." Sebastian said, matter of factly.

"And do what, exactly?"

"You're a fine warrior. If you could train men to fight like you do, we'd be unstoppable."

"I'm no leader, and I doubt humans would want me training them."

"Then why not train elves? I bet there's plenty who would admire all you've accomplished."

"I... haven't accomplished anything."

"No? You are your own man, living as you see fit—you give yourself too little credit."

"You are being kind."

"Not at all. Think about it." Just at that moment, they turned the corner and Sebastian just about crashed right into me. My face turned red, embarrassed that they would know I was eavesdropping on their conversation.

"Hawke, what a surprise!" the rogue laughed. "What brings you here?"

"I uh...came to talk to Fenris."

"Well that would be obvious. Isn't it getting a little late?" he questioned, disapproving. "Where is Anders?"

I tolerated Sebastian's preaching most times, but right now he was sticking his nose where it didn't belong. As soon as he found out about my pregnancy those years ago, he often tried to get me to attend the Chantry's ceremonies. He made it very clear that he did not approve of any one-on-one time Fenris and I spent together. Fenris however, found a friend in Sebastian in recent years. I did not want to make things awkward for him so I was nothing but polite to the ex prince.

"I'm my own woman, Sebastian. I do not need his permission to visit a friend."

"Oh, I've offended you. That was not my intent. I'm sorry Hawke. You two have a good night." He bowed his head and then was out the door. Fenris turned to me once his friend left.

"How long were you standing there?

"Not long." I said looking down.

"Of course not," he said lightly, and when I looked up he was smiling.

"So, are you going to take Sebastian up on his offer?"

"I thought you said you weren't standing there long."

"Fenris."

"I do not know yet. It is a nice idea, but I'm not sure if it is what I want."

"I see." I could not fathom the thought of him leaving too. It seemed everyone close to me eventually left. I could not hide the hurt in my eyes and Fenris tilted my chin up.

"Look at me. You need not worry. I will not leave if it bothers you so."

"It's your life, Fenris. Who am I to tell you what to do with it?"

"If I were to let anyone to tell me what to do, it would be you. Hawke..." he trailed off for a moment.

"Yes, Fenris?" He looked down to my hand.

"Is that a new book?" He always had a penchant for changing the subject whenever he was about to tell me something that seemed deeply important to him.

"I found it in the market the other day. It seemed to be at the same reading level you read. I thought maybe you'd like to give it a try." He grabbed the book from my hand, and ran his fingers over the cover.

"Would you like to come sit with me then?" He asked.

"I would love to."

By the time I left, I had drank so much wine, Fenris insisted that he walk me home. I had my arm around his neck and he held onto me, trying to steer me in the right direction. I tripped over my own feet and Fenris snickered.

"You are an insufferable lightweight."

"Hey!" I shouted, probably a little too loudly. "Y-You take that back. I am not in-insuffer..."

"Insufferable." He corrected. "And you're right. You're not. Only slightly ridiculous." We found our way to my front door, which Fenris had to unlock for me, my hands refused to cooperate. We stood in the doorway and he looked around.

"Will the mage be okay with helping you up the stairs?" I looked down, and did not see Anders' boots where they normally lay when he was home.

"Not here."

"He's not home?"

"Nope. ANDERS!" I yelled out and Fenris covered my mouth.

"Silence, woman! You will wake up your household."

"See, he's not here." I attempted to say but it only came out in a muffled sound as his hand covered my mouth. He pulled his hand away, and wiped off the saliva that I accidentally covered him in. A fit of giggles took over, and I somehow ended up on the floor in a spasm of laughter. Fenris leaned down, and pulled my boots off of my feet. He grabbed me into his arms, and lifted me up to carry me up the stairs. I wrapped my arms around his neck, my head leaning into him. I breathed in the scent that was Fenris, and I exhaled pleasantly. Fenris noticed and chuckled to himself.

He managed to open my bedroom door while still holding me in his arms. Once inside, he carried me over to the bed. He pulled back the sheet and placed me onto the mattress. Once I was laid down, he tucked me into the covers, and brushed my hair off of my face as he sat on the edge of the bed beside me. I looked up at him, and his face showed concern.

"Does he usually leave you home alone like this?"

"Hmmm?" I asked groggy from the wine and late hour.

"You have been visiting me so frequently, and I did not realise why until now. Where is he, Hawke?" All I could do was shrug my shoulders. He angrily shook his head in frustration. "Will you be alright tonight?" I nodded and he stood up.

"Alright then. Sleep well, and I shall see you soon." I watched him get up to leave, and as he was a foot away from the doorway, Anders came in. Anders eyes went from Fenris to me in the bed.

"Hawke." He spoke in a stern and shaky voice. "What is he doing in our bedroom?"

"I brought her home. She had too much to drink and I wanted to make sure she arrived safely, as you clearly were not around to do so. I was just leaving."

"Yes. You were, elf." Anders said, none too impressed. Fenris turned the corner and left. Anders quickly came over to the bed and took my hand in his.

"Marian, tell me the truth. Why was he really here?" I snapped my hand away from him.

"Suddenly you care. Where were y..you?" I slurred out.

"Maker, how much did you drink tonight? You smell like a wine cellar." I pulled away from him and turned over. I heard him let out a sigh and leave the room. A minute or so later he returned and tugged on my shoulder.

"Sit up and drink this." He said, handing me a glass of water. I pulled myself upright and downed the whole thing. He grabbed the cup and set it on the night stand. Anders walked around to his side of the bed and began to undress. I felt the bed shift as he got under the covers with me. If he said anything after that, I could not remember because I had fallen into a deep, undisturbed sleep