Authors notes: Another smutty chapter ;-) One of the last steamy bits of this story, it will be coming to a conclusion in about 6 chapters from now. There will be a sequel, a much better written one. Never again will I write in first person, it is so limiting! Blah. I have also started writing a steamy story, since many of you sent me messages when Hawke's pregnancy ended. If you were curious about how dysfunctional Anders/Hawke/Fenris would be as a little family, look no further. It's called Equilateral.
The sound of objects banging and things being tossed about awoke me from my sleep. The pounding in my head was there before I even opened my eyes.
"Oh Maker," I covered my ears and closed my eyes tightly. I felt Anders pull one hand away.
"Well maybe that will discourage you from staying out all night drinking with that elf." He said bluntly. My eyes took a moment to adjust and I noticed boxes all about the room.
"What's going on?" I asked.
"I'm moving my things from the clinic over here."
"But why?"
"Clearly I need to be here more." he said, with a hint of venom to his words. I raised an eyebrow to him.
"Are you saying that because you miss me, or because you're insecure about my friendship with Fenris again?"
"Does it matter?" Anders responded, his words distant, as he focused on unpacking the contents of a box. "I will be here, that's all that should be of importance." I sat upright in my bed, my head throbbing. I winced and sucked in a breath, and as I did so, Anders' cold demeanor softened. He came to our bed, and sat on the edge. He placed fingers on each of my temples, warmth emanating from them. I could feel the pounding slow, and eventually come to a stop. When I opened my eyes and saw him sitting before me, he looked worried and the lines in his face creased.
"Can you honestly tell me that nothing happened here last night?"
"I promise you, Anders. Nothing happened. I just had a bit too much to drink, that's all."
"You're certain you remember? What if he took advantage of you?" I grabbed onto his hands, lowering them from my face.
"Fenris is my friend, Anders. He isn't a monster."
"You think he's content to simply be a 'friend' to you? I've seen the way he still looks at you, Hawke. Can you be certain he would keep his hands off of you if the opportunity presented itself?"
"I'm positive. Please, can we just put this behind us? I've missed you." Anders leaned forward, bringing his lips to mine. When we kissed, nothing else mattered in the world. The man that I loved desperately was back, and I never wanted him to leave. He pulled away, a smile plastered on his face.
"Let's get you some breakfast. I'll bet you've worked up quite an appetite."
Sometime in the late morning, there was a knock on my front door. I was sitting in the kitchen with Anders, as we were just finishing our meal, when Sebastian walked in.
"Good morning, Hawke. Anders."
"What brings you here?"
"Well, I was wondering if you wouldn't mind helping me one last time before I return to Starkhaven?"
"So you have decided to take your throne back, then?" Anders asked, not making direct eye contact with the ex-prince.
"I have. I will be returning a week from today. There is a matter of business left, before I seek to claim the throne. I know you're a very busy woman, Hawke, but I'd appreciate the help. It seems my cousin, Goran Vael, has heard I wish to reclaim the throne. Some assassins paid me a visit last night."
"Maker, are you alright?"
"I handled the situation, but I need to know what I'm going up against. Will you help me, Hawke? I could use your skills in tracking other potential assassins."
"Sure. Just let me get my boots on and we can leave." I stood up, and wiped my face with a napkin on the table.
"Mind if I sit this one out, love? I have work that needs my attention." I leaned into him and gave him a quick peck.
"It's fine, Anders." I started to exit the room with Sebastian.
"Great, now we'll just need to grab Fenris before we set off." We heard Anders' chair push back and he was quickly at our side.
"On second thought, some fresh air might do me some good." Rolling my eyes at his obvious insecurity, I handed Anders' his staff that lay against the wall at the entrance next to mine, before heading out the door.
On the way back from our excursion, the sun was beating relentlessly on our faces. Summer arrived, full force, which meant the rainstorms were soon to come. Not on this day however. I had sand stuck in my boots from the long walk, and couldn't wait to get home to relieve myself of the uncomfortable sensation scratching my feet. Anders and Sebastian walked in front of Fenris and I, bickering as they usually did.
"Is that supposed to be Andraste's face on your crotch? " Anders asked, rather bluntly.
"What?"
"That... belt buckle thing. Is that Andraste?"
"My father had this armor commissioned when I took my vows as a brother."
"I'm just not sure I'd want the Maker seeing me shove His bride's head between my legs every morning."
They bantered back and forth, and I shielded my eyes from the sun. "They're like an old married couple, I swear." I said to Fenris who chuckled.
"In that case, perhaps Sebastian should bring Anders with him to Starkhaven rather than myself." I laughed for a moment, then it dawned on me that maybe Fenris had thought more about joining Sebastian.
"Are you going?" He shook his head quickly.
"I do not think it is my time to leave Kirkwall yet. I have unfinished business here."
"Such as?"
"Danarius." he growled, and I scowled at myself for asking such an impertinent question. It was obvious Fenris still feared the return of his former Master, and as much as Fenris was afraid of being recaptured, he did not want to run any longer.
"Are you sure he hasn't given up? It's been years, Fenris."
"He is not one to simply give up something that held so much value to him, and I doubt he is dead."
"I'm sorry I brought it up, I didn't mean to."
"You have nothing to apologize for. You were simply curious."
We turned our attention to the two in front of us, as they were now throwing heated words at each other. Somehow they trailed off onto an entirely different subject, and were spewing venom at one another.
"Someone should put the senile old wench out of her misery. Too bad you killed Lady Harimann, I heard she was good at it." Anders spat at Sebastian, and right away Fenris and I stopped dead in our tracks.
"How dare you? I should have turned you in to the templars years ago. As a matter of fact, I think I will do that right now!" Fenris and I shot each other a look, and we nodded to one another.
Fenris held Sebastian back and I got in front of Anders, trying to move him away from the situation. They were just about ready to kill one another.
"Unhand me at once, Fenris!" the rogue squirmed in his arms.
"This isn't worth it, friend." he responded, not letting go of his strong grip.
Anders tried to push past me, but I grabbed onto his shoulders hard. "Anders, go home now." I said sternly.
"Marian, stand aside." Anders growled at me.
"No! You seriously crossed a line. Get home now, or I swear-"
"Fine!" he yelled at me, and stomped off in the opposite direction. We stayed there a few minutes, allowing Sebastian to maintain his composure. By the time we escorted him back to the Chantry, the sun was already starting to set. It was a long, eventful day and I couldn't wait to get home.
Sebastian wanted a word in private with me, so I joined him inside. He looked at me with steady eyes, as if he were trying to read my mind. Finally he spoke.
"I am sorry about earlier, Hawke. You know I respect you, and you have done much for me. It's just that Anders-" he trailed off for a few seconds, looking at me with concern. "I know it's not my place to question but please, be careful. He's a dangerous man, and selfish. Whatever he promised, don't think he'll ever put you above his own needs."
As I walked through the emptying streets back home, Sebastian's words hung in my ears. He looked so serious when he confronted me about Anders. I couldn't figure out if he truly believed what he was saying, or if he was trying to turn me against Anders due to his own distaste for the man I loved.
When I got home, Anders was in the study, scribbling furiously on a piece of paper. I went to lay a hand on his shoulder, and he brushed me a way.
"I see you're still angry with me."
"Hawke, I'm a little busy." he said absently, not even peering up at me. His distant words hurt, and I didn't wish to fight so I left him alone and buried myself in my room.
An hour later, I was growing desperate. He was home, and yet he was so far away. He hadn't lain with me, held me, made love to me in weeks, maybe months. I was growing restless, I needed his hands on me, but clearly he couldn't be bothered to try. The last time we attempted to be intimate, he couldn't finish the job. He said Justice would not let him focus on anything else, and he was not able to stay in the moment with me. I was so frustrated I could scream.
I missed his lips upon mine, trailing their way down my neck down to my breasts. I held onto this image, and unbuttoned my night gown. My hands roamed over my nipples, and there I squeezed, imagining that it was Anders who touched me. My thoughts went to him kissing slowly, and torturously down my stomach, kissing and licking his way until he reached my center. Yes - there- my fingers tapped at my nub and I released a sigh. Oh, how I wanted him.
Visions of him thrusting inside of me came to mind, and I moaned louder now. I sank my fingers inside, thinking of him. I envisioned hands pinning my arms to the mattress, but suddenly in my mind I saw Fenris instead. I quickly stopped my ministrations. Why had my mind wandered back to that one night so many years ago? I felt guilty, but it was too late, I was too heated to stop now. My body and mind fought with one another. One moment I would think of how it felt when Fenris took me, the next second my conscience would be fighting my thoughts, and it was Anders instead. On and on it went like this, and my breathing and fingers worked at a frantic pace, moaning all the while.
I was building to my peak when suddenly the all too familiar intense feeling of electric waves shocked throughout my system. They started from the tip of my head, coursing down my body, throughout my nipples, into my wet core. I screamed out, letting my climax take me, as I looked over to the doorway where Anders stood smirking, using his magic from across the room to help me find my release. He didn't even need to physically touch me with his hands to pleasure me, and it drove me wild.
When I came down from the high, he strode over to me, quickly shedding himself of his clothes. Already hard, he climbed on top of me and began to kiss me feverishly.
"What were you thinking of, naughty girl?" he seductively whispered into my ear.
"You." I half lied.
"Good." he said as he sank deep inside of me and I gasped, feeling him stretch me out completely. Anders did not give me time to adjust to his length, he began to pump into me at a feverish pace, as if this the world was coming to an end. I didn't care, my body welcomed his thrusts gladly, and we both moaned in unison.
My nails sank into his back as I wrapped my legs around his waist, allowing him to pummel deeper inside. Our bodies joined as one, and I almost wept, so content to be intertwined with Anders again. The sensations were too much for me to handle, my body rejoiced at the pleasure and another climax ripped through me.
"Anders.." I whimpered and he bucked into me harder.
"Yes, say my name. Who makes you cum?"
"You." I squealed out, and my words of praise brought him to his own release.
"Oh, Marian." he gasped, filling me with his hot seed.
When our afterglow subsided, Anders rolled off of me and lay there, catching his breath. I grabbed one of his hands and started kissing his knuckles.
"Please don't keep me waiting so long next time. Please." I begged him.
"I won't," he smiled as he turned over and tenderly kissed my lips. I reveled in the feeling of being in his arms once again, feeling his breath become even, as he fell asleep next to me.