Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns it all.

Rated M for several reasons.

Chpt 32 The Mad Doctor

CCPOV

My long thin fingers drum lightly against the leather steering wheel.

I have tried everything I can think of.

The Recognised Covens don't want to hear anything against the Cowboy Coven, a ridiculous epitaph. They either believe that the Whitlocks have already proved themselves fit to rule, through strength one would assume since I can think of nothing else they are fit for. Or they believe them naïve and inexperienced, all the better to take advantage of without directly provoking their considerable wrath.

Even I have to snort at that. Jasper and Peter Whitlock may be many things but foolish and naïve are not amongst them. Unfortunately. Besides which they do have the might of the former Volturi standing right alongside them.

If I cannot persuade, carefully of course, anyone powerful to go after them then I am somewhat stumped.

The unknowns I hired, a little rashly, to go after them in Washington were worse than useless and even if I were in the habit of keeping company with the right type of vampire to find another coven, I am fairly certain they would have just as little success.

I certainly cannot go after them myself. I am a Doctor not a fighter.

I can't help but feel that fate is trying to tell me something. That I should give up, that retribution for Edward's death will not be mine. To forgive and forget would be the sensible thing to do, learn to live with my loss. But I cannot.

He was everything to me, my whole world, without him I am nothing. Even with mate and family I am a hollow shell of the man I once was. I loved him. Unconditionally. My feelings for everyone else, I have come to realise, were just pale extensions of my devotion to him. It was all for him, so he could have the things he deserved by right, a home, a family, love and a future. What use are a mother and siblings without the glowing centrepiece of our existence? What use, for that matter, a loving father?

My beautiful Edward, they will pay for what they did to you even if it takes an eternity.

My smooth Doctor's mask extends, by virtue of many years of practice, to my emotions. That golden ape truly has no idea how much I hate him and that jezebel who stands beside him. She destroyed my son with her fake innocence and meaningless promises and then her mate stole him from me. Because it was expedient. Because it was easier than trying to help someone who sacrificed everything to help them. There are no words to adequately describe the coldness of their actions. And I can find no compassion in me for them, their happiness erodes my soul like acid dripping onto a rock.

That is what I am now, a cold, empty, rock. I barely recognise myself. I certainly do not recognise the unfeeling and detached man I see reflected back at me in the eyes of my family. They are all just pawns to me now. In fact, in the months since Edward disappeared, I came to realise that is all they ever truly were. Props in the perfect existence I created for my son.

How disappointed I was with Rosalie when it became obvious she would not fill the hole in his existence which I knew I never could. She knows of course, she has always known. Others think her vain and shallow, which she is, but only she and I know why.

Emmett. I don't begrudge her happiness with him and he can sometimes be entertaining I will admit. However his lack of intellect is a constant thorn in my side, especially without Edward to counteract it. It used to suffuse me with warmth how Emmett could amuse and irritate my boy in equal measure.

And Alice. I sneak a glance sideways at her. I was thrilled when she found us, she was an excellent sister for Edward, and I even tried to help Jasper for her sake. Despite how much his wildness always terrified and disgusted me. Now I wonder if admitting her into our lives was a mistake. Like everyone else I was ecstatic when she envisioned true happiness for Edward and like everyone else I made the error of placing too much faith in her pronouncements. If only we had sent her on her way, perhaps this tragedy would never have played out.

Only for my wife and mate do I feel any real remorse. If I am honest I changed her because she was soft and pretty and looked like my ideal of the mother I wanted for Edward. I was enchanted when she turned out to be my mate, it seemed so right that he should have proper parents. And I loved her, I believe I really did. My distance now hurts her and although her presence brings me some small crumb of comfort I cannot find it within me to rectify the situation. Nor even a trace of desire for it.

That part of my life is gone, Edward took it away when he left. Left me. Left the perfect existence I lovingly crafted for him, setting in motion the decay which weakened it until it finally came crashing down on my head in that house in Virginia.

The pain is still searing through me, burning away all traces of the man I always thought myself to be. My Good Doctor persona is all that remains to me, all that prevents me from breaking down and becoming a savage.

Certainly I feel no guilt in using Rutilio and his venal mate against them. His death at the hands of my idiotic daughter conflicts me. Rightly he deserved to die for his part in damaging Edward but yet he was my best hope to end them. The true culprits.

The lush greenery of The Olympic Peninsula flashes past the car windows but does not really penetrate my obsessive thoughts. In the same way that the inane chatter of my daughter also fails to do.

Really, she is an idiot. Chelsea placed a crack in Jasper and Bella's relationship which she has completely failed to exploit, despite my positioning her expertly to do so. That little suggestion in Asturias's ear almost paid off in spades, for a moment I really thought Chelsea had broken their mating bond. See how low I have come? Hopeful and vindictive thinking over scientific knowns.

Alice. The very fact I have had to retrieve her from a deep hole in the ground proves that her usefulness to me is almost at an end, the Whitlocks clearly won't tolerate her presence and I will need to find another way to gather information. Bribery is too risky, the Guard seem loyal and it would be dangerous to try and tempt them. Rosalie will smell a rat if I ask her to befriend them. Esme perhaps? She still longs to mother Bella, foolishly wanting to atone for abandoning her when she needed us most.

The lone plaintive howl of a wolf jerks me back to the present. I shudder. Bella was correct, there is another pack on the peninsula. Although we previously co-existed with them peacefully the wolves do frighten me. Powerful and single minded they truly represent a threat to even the strongest of vampires, under the right circumstances.

With little conscious effort I tune Alice out again. I can understand her indignation at being tossed out of an aeroplane at 30,000ft but I sincerely believe she was very lucky they left her in one piece when they did it. She should be grateful, I do not think I could have mustered the desire to go looking for her scattered remains if that had been the case.

I need to think, calmly and coolly. There has to be a way. Some little piece of knowledge tucked away in my vampire brain I can use against them.

I cannot give up. I will never give up.

A/N Now then. I am sorry about the end of the last chapter, I was paying too much attention to other parts of it and didn't think about what I wrote. I merely meant to imply that she's slipped away to a happy place on a wave of post coital bliss. They are there now, entwined and completely safe. So, sorry. But jeez, some of you guys are really jittery . . . .