TPM Tatooine Rewrite: Through Glass
By: Syntyche
Interlude III
Love.
The concept of love was certainly not foreign to him, though he had - when the Council was watching - preached at length about the dangers of attachment; intelligently worded reasoning detailing the peril of becoming too attached to anything or anyone when one's own focus should be on centering themselves within the Force.
The words he had said a hundred times, however, hadn't kept him from getting attached to an awkward and sad ginger-haired teenager, or a blue-eyed slip of a boy with enormous potential. It was hard to ignore the existence of love and attachment when the Living Force hummed its sweet song all around him, uniting a chorus of the multitudes, laughing joyfully in his mind. It guided his steps, helped him choose the correct path, helped him rise when he stumbled.
At least, it once had, before he had left it behind to let himself get drawn into a maelstrom of rampant emotions. Now in his mind memories wandered unchecked through the disorder, crowding his vision rather than dissipating into the warmth of the peace of the Force. The once quiet calm was distorted with crying, pleading voices, refusing to be silenced, threatening to overwhelm him… it was so, so loud.
Qui-Gon Jinn blinked wearily, resting his forehead on his palm. It seemed like so long ago now, though he couldn't recall if it had even been a year since he had left Obi-Wan and Anakin on Tatooine. Finally he had found both of them again, finally they could start to heal … but, no. They were to be separated again, per the Council's mandate. For their own good, of course.
He had tried to get around it. The Council had offered him his choice of the planet he was to take his forced leave of absence on, but he had learned - as he'd expected - that apparently "his choice" meant any planet but Coruscant (where he could watch over Anakin) or Bandomeer (where he could watch over Obi-Wan). In the end and on a whim he had selected Naboo: remote and beautiful, and he felt as if it were calling to him amidst the chaos in his mind. He would go to Naboo, he would rest and heal, and he would leave behind two Padawans struggling to find their place.
He had learned over the years that love was difficult to evade, difficult to avoid even when his "family" was limited to other Jedi. He had trained several apprentices, and he loved them as though they were his own children. The Council disapproved, but he didn't much care. How they could not understand how easy, how warm and gratifying, how right it was to love?
But tonight, the love he had allowed himself to feel was punishing him.
His heart was breaking.
In just a short time, the three of them would be scattered across the galaxy: one tired Jedi Master, one scared little boy, one broken Padawan; all on their own to pick up the devastated pieces.
Qui-Gon lifted his head, looking wearily out the large window in his common room. Soon morning would break across the horizon and it would be time for him to depart. In a short time he would set foot on Naboo … the place where this had all begun.
It wouldn't be much longer, and he could rest.
Not much longer at all.