I own nothing….except a strong dislike for these stupid exclaimers. I mean really? If I WERE Stephanie Meyer, would I be writing this or would I be writing something that was going to be published and bring me money? Anyway, yeah, I'm not her….this is not mine…blah, blah, blah….
~o0o~
There are some smells that you will never forget. When I was thirteen, Daddy took me and Alice to the county fair and a little curly red-head threw up on the Ferris wheel. I still remember that smell. Sophomore year, Josh Erikson tried to feel me up at a Back-to-School dance and I can still smell the cheap cologne that he must have taken a bath in.
The smell of dirt and grass mixed with alcohol burning through a two stroke engine? I've never forgotten it and when we pulled up to the track today, it still made me weak in the knees.
Now here I stand, leaning up against an old, white plank board fence watching the boys fly around an old dirt track and suddenly I'm 19 again. I'm standing here in a Metel Mulisha tank-top and ripped jeans instead of the ballet flats and a belted sundress I actually put on this morning.
Maybe I was wrong. Maybe it wasn't Edward that I missed so much all these years…maybe it was this? I take a deep inhale, close my eyes and smile.
"You look right at home." I feel Alice lean on the fence beside me. Slowly opening my eyes, I come back to the present and remember how much I've changed, but this place has stayed the same.
Looking behind her I see that she is alone.
"Where are Jamie and Jasper?" I ask as I glance around the track and then back toward the pit area where the trailers full of parts sit beside the block buildings.
"I don't know, some shit about plugs and the correct pressure for tires." Alice waved her hand dismissing the thought.
"In all these years, you still don't know anything about racing do you?" I chuckle at her.
"Sweetie, all I need to know how to ride is the man wearing Number 394." She wiggles her eyebrows at me.
I laugh and see Jasper pull his bike toward the start line. He's already changed into his pants and boots, but he has left his cutoff tee on.
"I see that Jamie still worships the ground you walk on." She turns around and leans her back against the fence.
I smile and look over to the line where Jamie stands with Jasper and few other guys. Thankfully, none of them have sex-hair.
"Yeah," I pull my hand up to my forehead in an effort to block the sun. "Things are great…He is great."
Alice turns back around and watches the boys at the line.
"He really is, isn't he?"
She blows out a shaky breath.
"I guess, I just kept waiting for you two to work things out and get it together, you know? But now I see," She looks at Jamie again.
"Maybe this is better for you after all."
Reaching over, Alice pats my hand that is laid on the rail and we both go back to watching Jasper. He pulls to the line, waits for one of the guys to give a mock wave in place of a flag and takes off.
Watching him, I had forgotten how good Jasper is. I've never really been one to pay a lot of attention to 125 races, so I don't have much to compare it to, but he does look good. Good balance, perfect throttle control and his shifting is flawless.
As he pulls back to the line, I see him shake his head and I know that he isn't happy about something. As the boys start rolling the bike back over toward the trailers, Alice and I chuckle and head that way too.
I would be lying if I said that I didn't walk with bated breath and eyes that constantly scan my surroundings. I know my chances of getting out of here unseen are slim, but it's worth a shot.
As we approach the tent, I see Jasper talking to a huge, behemoth of a man and I don't recognize him. That is, until I hear his laugh and I see the perfectly manicured hand that slaps him upside his head.
"Em?" I ask incredulously.
Swinging his head around so quickly I thought it might snap off, his sweet dimpled face breaks out in a huge grin and before I know it, I'm swept up in the air.
"Bellabee?" He laughs and squeezes me at the same time.
"I can't believe it's actually you!" He nearly shouts.
"Me?" I ask, still vied in his arms.
"Look at you, you have to be at least 50 lbs. and a hell of a lot of muscle bigger than when I last saw you!" I pull my upper half away and look at his chest and arms. It's true. Emmett was always a thick guy, but never cut like this. He looks like a bodybuilder.
"Damn Emmett. Put her down so I can get a crack at her!" I hear sharp tongue lash at him.
Emmett places me on the ground and the blonde beauty just as quickly sweeps me in her arms.
"Oh Bella…" Rosalie chokes out.
I know she is fighting tears, because Rosalie Hale, correction, McCarty, never cries unless she has to and unfortunately, I've seen it far too many times in the past.
"I know Rose," I give her one last squeeze and pull away from her but keep our hands locked and I pull them up and out to create a circle while I look at her round belly.
"You look even more beautiful, Rose." I smile at her.
Dropping her hand from mine, she rolls her eyes and lovingly pats her stomach.
"Do I? I don't feel it! In fact, I'm not even sure if I have shoes on right now because I haven't seen my feet in months!"
Rose and I have kept in touch, though not as much as Alice, and I knew she was close to her due date.
I wave my hand at her and watch as Emmett limps over to her and places his hand on her stomach and kisses her cheek. It's such a beautiful and private moment that I have to fight the urge to look away. When I do, I realize that Jasper and Jamie had walked up during my reunion and I decide to introduce Jamie.
I smile at him and reach my right arm toward him.
He smiles back and walks over to join me, wrapping his arm around my waist.
"Jamie, this is Rosalie and Emmett McCarty. Rose, Em….this is Jamie Montgomery." I place my hand on Jamie's chest and look up into his eyes. There is an emotion there I've never seen. I'm not sure what it is, but it's gone in a second and he reaches out and shakes their hands.
"Congratulations on the baby." He tells Emmett and then looks to Rose.
"Pregnancy suits you. Do you know the sex?"
Emmett pats Rose's stomach and scrunches his nose.
"This is my little lady bug, Samantha." Jamie smiles and I can tell he already likes them.
They talk a few minutes about the pregnancy before Jasper interrupts them and starts to talk to Emmett about the issue with the prototype.
"Come on Jazz….can't we take the day off for the arrival of the prodigal daughter?" Em requests. Jasper blows out a quick huff and throws his helmet on the table. "Fine."
Alice rolls her eyes and mumbles something about dramatics.
"Bella, you know you aren't going to get away from us tonight!" Rose exclaims. "I may not be able to drink, but we can still go out."
Alice begins jump up and down and squeal. "What about that karaoke bar that Bella used to love!" I groan because as I recall, Alice loved that bar…not me.
"Yeah, and now that Bella had introduced us all, we can grill Jamie about what our Bellabee has been up to the past 4 years!" Em exclaims.
"I don't think she's introduced all of us." I hear a velvety smooth voice say from behind me and instantly my pulse quickens and my heart races.
Taking a deep breath and turning around, my throat goes dry and my lip automatically finds its way between my teeth.
Standing there in all his glory is Edward Cullen. Why don't exes do what they are supposed to and get fat and ugly? I mean, here he is, with that beautiful smile and that hair that my fingers are literally itching to dig into.
Of course, there are a few things that have changed. He's bigger too. I wonder if he and Em work out together?
The biggest difference is the tattoos. When we had been together he had a few, a band on his arm, an Alpine Stars emblem on his shoulder and a Metal Mulisha skull on the inside of his arm. But now? Well, I can only see what is peeking out from the t-shirt that I have to admit covers more than I would like, but it looks like both arms have half sleeves and probably on his back. Damn, he knows tattoos make me weak in the knees.
I had forgotten how amazing he looks in riding pants. As I recall, so amazing that I once insisted he leave them on a few rounds in the back of one of these trailers.
He looks the same, yet so different. The last time I saw him, he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. Now, he looks lighter….almost younger even though it's been 4 years and he is nearly 30 now.
"Hey." I smile at him, hoping it looks more convincing than it feels.
I see his eyes rake my body and I'm not sure which is worse, the fact that I hope Jamie didn't notice or the fact that I can feel moisture already gathering between my legs.
"Hello, Bella." He voice is deep and rich and just like I remember it.
Our eyes lock for so long that I forget where I am and who is around me. All I can remember is that voice in my ear, those hands holding my hips, his body against mine…
Thank God for Rose who fakes a sneeze and snaps me back to reality.
I smile and motion to Jamie, "This is Jamie. Jamie, this is Edward."
As always, Jamie looks friendly, polite and easily steps over to shake Edward's hand.
"Edward was my dad's first sponsorship." I offer hopefully, praying that it distracts everyone from what just transpired.
As if on cue, Edward pours on the Cullen charm that we all know so well. He starts to smooze Jamie and I can see that Jamie already loves him like everyone else that has ever come into contact with him. He just has that infectious personality.
"What do you say Edward, wanna come out with us tonight? Maybe tell me some embarrassing stories about Bella?" Jamie asks hopefully.
A quiet tension falls over the group and Edward's eyes flick to me.
"Stories about Bella? Of course." He says to Jamie…but his eyes never leave mine.
~o0o~
As Jamie sits up front with Jasper in the car, I can't help but pick at the loose thread on the edge of my skirt. It's brand new, bought specifically for this situation which I had enough sense to know would eventually happen.
In the years since I have been gone, a lot about me has changed. In all reality, I guess I didn't so much change as I grew up. We all have to do it eventually and my method included a better wardrobe and a new appreciation for heels and bikini waxes. It's amazing what a few years and heartbreak will do to you.
I would be lying if I didn't say that I spent a couple days buying new outfits and I may or may have not spent a little extra at the salon getting caramel highlights and a trim.
Alice's hand finds its way to my shoulder and she gives me an encouraging smile across the back seat.
If I have to do this, I am so glad that she is with me.
No one knows the things she does. No one saw what I went through….how bad it got.
She's the only one.
As we pull into the parking lot, I get out and straighten my skirt, pull my boobs up into position and make sure my hair is in place and there isn't any black smudged under my eyes.
When we get inside, I see that Em and Rose are sitting at a table in the corner and Emmett is already on his second beer.
"Hey guys." Jasper nods to Emmett and gives Rose a kiss on the cheek as he sits down. We all follow suit and I can't help but to admit that I'm disappointed that I don't see Edward. Had he forgotten? Did he not want to come?
Conversation flows easily the first 30 minutes we are there and Jamie fits in perfectly. Like he has always been a part of us. They talk to him about his work, Charleston and our life there together. I wish I could admit that I was a part of the conversation, but in truth, I spent the last 30 minutes looking through the crowd trying to find that mop of bronze hair.
"It was hilarious, wasn't it Bella?" Alice asks , her eyes wide as she tries to pull me back into the conversation. I should have known she would notice my inattention.
"Totally." I smile sweetly, pretending I have a clue what they are talking about and take another sip of my LIT.
You know when you read those stupid romance novels from Wal-Mart with the half naked cowboy on the cover and it talks about "feeling" him before you see him? Well, that's bullshit. I didn't 'feel' him before he sat down….but I did feel his hand graze my shoulder blade as he took a seat beside me. I wish I didn't feel the shot down my spine that settled between my legs…but I did.
"Where you been man?" Emmett questions Edward with a mouth full of fries.
"Gosh, sweetie, I don't know how we would have made it without you spewing fries all over the table!" Rose bats her eyelashes at him and smiles sweetly. We all laugh, and I'm overtaken with sadness as I realize how many laughs….how many nights like this, hanging out with the only 'family' I have left, that I have missed.
"The guys were just telling stories about Bella and how much of a spitfire she used to be." Jamie chuckled and leaned over to kiss my nose.
I smile and look down. It's true. I used to be a lot more passionate and quick-tempered….and okay, foul-mouthed, than I am now. Jamie's Bella learned to polish herself up and realized that you get a lot farther with sugar than vinegar.
"Bella? A firecracker? NEVER!" Edward claimed sarcastically.
Everyone laughed.
"We were telling Jamie about that sponsor that shot you that lowball offer and she told him to go fuck himself!" Rose cackled out.
"Oh, like you haven't ever done something like that?" Alice pointed her fork toward Rosalie.
"Need I remind you of that guys that was grinding on Bella in that club and YOU pulled his hair and kneed him in the groin when he wouldn't take her no as an answer!" Alice was almost all the way out of her seat.
Edward looked up at me and our eyes met. We both knew the instance she was talking about. He had been across the bar getting drinks when it happened. He was pissed that Rose got ahold of the guy and he didn't. When we got home that night, he needed to claim me so bad that he bent me over the railing of the porch and took me, making me cum so hard I could barely get out of bed the next day.
"Well, the prick should have noticed the rock on her hand and took that as a hint!" Rosalie said matter of factly. The table got very quiet and very tense all at once. I knew that my family was quiet because it undoubtedly brought up the elephant in the room as far as Edward and I were concerned, but that wasn't my focus at the moment. I was more concerned with the man that sat at my side.
"Wait a minute." Jamie held his hand up.
"You were engaged?" He looked at my with a wide mouth, his eyes full of curiosity and hurt.
~o0o~
So, I have given up on finding a Beta. I have even tried to find one using those Beta sites and still can't find one! I guess I am destined to go this alone….hmmm…..so, forgive any mistakes!