Don't own…wish I did….yeah, yeah.
Sorry this took me a little longer to get out to you, I just had so much trouble writing this chapter. I don't know why, exactly, just did.
As always, I have no beta , so all mistakes are totally mine!
There are a few times in my life that I thought that it could be true about hearing a pin drop….this isn't one of them. Almost as soon as Jamie asks the question, the table bursts into activity. Rose and Emmett are trying to shift the focus to the waitress who has finally approached the table to get Edward's order and Alice is trying to explain the situation while Jasper sits quietly at her side.
In truth, why hadn't I told Jamie? Why hadn't I just told him all about my past and Edward? I guess I wasn't ready to have my wound ripped open. They aren't healed at all. They are kinda on that day two scab when you know if you rip it off, it's still going to be just as fresh as the moment you did it.
So now, here I sit with this amazing guy who has been everything to me for the last year and I can't stand the hurt look in his eyes and the fact that I put it there.
Taking a deep breath, I glance toward Edward. He just sits there with his head down, looking at the table with his jaw clenched. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that everyone at the table, probably especially him, is wondering why I hadn't told Jamie.
"It was a long time ago…." I try to make the statement strong and confident as I take the last drink of my LIT.
"You didn't think that was the kind of thing that you should mention? I mean, just like the story of you cussing out that sponsor? I've never even heard you say more than shoot when you stub your toe." Jamie raises his eyebrows at me with open eyes.
Breathing a heavy breath out of my nose, I muster all my strength to mutter one of the most bold faced lies I have ever told. "It didn't matter."
From the corner of my vision I can see Edward's already closed eyes squeeze tight for a moment.
"Do you need another LIT, miss?" The waitress asks me. She's young, maybe 22, and I can't help but notice the way she smiles a little too long at Jamie. It's cute. She is too young to realize he isn't interested, but he is a sweetheart so he tries to be as nice as possible without hurting her feelings.
"Sure." I hand her my glass and Jamie gives her a sweet smile and asks for another whiskey sour. She glances down and then flutters her eyes back up to him and he gives a little nod before wrapping his arm around the back of my chair and leaning in to me. It's one of those, 'thanks, but I'm good,' gestures. I've come to know them pretty well. Jamie gets hits on…a lot, but he's always nice about it and to be honest? I kinda love it. It makes me feel like I'm special because all these women want him and he wants me. Whats a girl to do?
After realizing she isn't getting anywhere with him she makes her way around the table to everyone else and I'm thankful for the same reprieve she's given me to try and figure out a way to come up with something.
I'm mad at myself for not coming up with something before now. I'm mad at myself for not just being able to tell Jamie the truth and more than anything? I'm mad at myself that my earlier comment and any that I am about to make may hurt Edward. Why should I care? After everything he has put me through…..
I've never been one to believe in divine intervention, but I must have been granted a little and God must be on my side, because miraculously, Jamie drops it and starts talking to Emmett. I breathe a sigh of relief and chance a look at Edward. I am shocked to see pain on his face, but more than that….anger.
"So, what time should I be there tomorrow?" Jamie asks Emmett while he receives his new drink from our waitress.
"Probably 9 or so? That sound okay?"
"What are you guys doing?" I wonder as I pour a little salt on my napkin to keep the glass from sticking to it.
"Oh, Emmett and Jasper invited me to go out with them to try out a new bike with Edward." Jamie is so casual that I try to not flip my lid.
The waitress brings Edward his drink and lightly skims his hand with her own and she pulls it back from sitting down the glass.
"Can I get anything else for you?" The waitress smiles so sweetly at him and bends over slightly so her cleavage is spilling out of her cheap, polyester uniform. What the hell? Two seconds ago she was over here trying to hit on Jamie and now she's about to crawl in Edward's lap? Tramp. Trying to rub up on everyone….who does she think she is? That blonde hair? SO not natural and that orange spray on tan? Come on!
"No, I'm good right now." Edward throws her his smirk….MY smirk. The one that he only gives me. Or….gave me.
"Well, if you need another Coke or you change your mind…" She trails off, raising her eyebrow suggestively and walking away with just a little more sway than she came with.
Slut.
"Coke?" I question. I glance around the table and notice that we are all consuming alcohol….well, except for Rose obviously.
"Yeah….Coca Cola? You know, red can? Fat man in a red suit on it around December?" Edward retorts and throws the glass back.
To the outside world, it just looks like he is being a smart ass, but I know better. He's throwing down the gauntlet and trying to get a rise out of me. Well, well, Edward Cullen, time for you to realize that I'm not the same girl you once knew. I won't bite.
"So, are you gonna be gone long tomorrow? We still have to unpack our luggage." I ask Jamie and turn my attention away from Edward.
We had only unpacked our carry-ons to come here tonight. Rule number 1 of flying? Always carry your personal products and your favorite outfit in your carry on.
"Probably not too long, right Em?" Jasper threw in, trying to lighten the conversation as he hummed to the music.
"Nah, just gonna ride a little while, get Jamie on a bike, maybe?" Emmett clapped his large hand on Jamie's shoulder.
"Maybe." He raised her eyes suggestively and wrapped his arm around the back of my chair.
A song started and Alice and Rosalie pulled their respective partners to the dance floor as one particularly good contestant put on quite a good show.
"Babe, I'm going to run outside and call Peter. He ask me to call him when I decided if I was going to teach that summer course and I need to tell him what books I want to assign." Jamie kissed my forehead and smiled at me before nodding at Edward and leaving the table.
Leaving me alone….with Edward Cullen.
I turned my head toward the gang dancing on the floor and smiled at them while taking a sip from my drink.
"You gonna ignore me the rest of this trip?" Edward spoke so low that I had trouble hearing him over the music.
"Of course not Edward, you're going out riding tomorrow with my boyfriend, how could I ignore you?"
He sighed and ran his hand through his hair.
"He seems like a good guy. " I can't believe he just admitted that. The most jealous man that I have ever known actually just said that to me.
"He is. And I hope that you will be discreet tomorrow?" I really don't want to hurt Jamie. He has been so good to me and if we make it through this alive, it will be a blessing.
Edward just stared at me for a minute before speaking.
"Why didn't you tell him about me? About us?"
Anger shot through me. Like a bull, all I could see was red and my inner-monologue started chanting, "charge!" But I had worked hard to refine myself and grow up and letting Edward Cullen get back under my skin wasn't the right way to do it.
Everyone but Jamie returned to the table and sat down. I attempted to turn back to them and ignore Edward, but he wasn't having it.
"Answer me Bella. Why haven't you told Jamie about the man you lived with? That you were going to marry?" That anger was back, but this time, it was clouding his eyes, not mine. His jaw was clenched and his eyes narrowed. He looked the same as he had earlier when I mentioned to Jamie that my past didn't matter.
"Edward, this isn't appropriate and re-hashing the past isn't…."
"Bullshit!" Edward practically screamed at me, cutting me off. Thank God for the loud music or everyone would be looking at us right now.
"I think you didn't tell him because you are afraid. Afraid of pulling out old feelings that aren't quite as buried as you thought they were."
Clenching my jaw, I fought the anger that was just simmering at the surface.
Don't let him get to you, Bella.
"What? You think you didn't need to tell him about your past? What about who you are? He doesn't know that either! He doesn't know you cuss? Or what about this?" Edward gestures up and down the length of my body.
"High heels and summer dresses? What about your jeans? Where is that girl who used to be a spitfire? Who would just as soon to tell you to go to hell before she put up with bullshit."
Deep breaths, Bella.
I turned my attention toward the guys. Emmett was still eating, though his eyes were the size of quarters and Alice and Rose clung to each other while breathing heavily. Jasper, God bless him, seemed to be staring toward the door, keeping a lookout for Jamie.
"Edward, that's all ancient history." I said calmly and took another sip of my drink, determined not to let him see any sign of weakness. I had been weak around this man too many times.
Edward leaned forward and his breathing became erratic. He reached over and placed his hand so close to mine that we could almost touch.
"Does he even know how to make you scream? That you love being taken from behind in the shower? Or how you love it hard and fast so you can grip the headboard so hard that it moves the whole bed? Or the growl you make when your legs are up around your head?"
My heart dropped, my mouth flew open and the anger was there.
"Fuck you." I seethed at Edward and jumped out of the seat before stomping out toward the exit. I couldn't believe he just said that to me.
What gave him the right to say that?
Of course Jamie and I have a good sex life. Maybe it isn't as adventurous and wild as mine with Edward had been, but we were adults now and not seventeen any more.
Shaking my head, I couldn't believe that he said that to me!... And I can't believe that my panties were wet either.
~o0o~
Back at the table, everyone simply looked at Edward like he had grown another head.
"What in the hell are you doing?" Rose nearly shouted at him.
"We finally got her back in the state and now you're just gonna run her off again!"
Edward just shook his head and smirked. He had needed to be sure.
"Don't worry guys." He took a drink from his glass and slowly smiled, biting the corner of his lip.
He had seen her. Ever since she had been home he had noticed her new look, her new attitude and to be honest, it was sexy as hell. Bella in heels? Fuck. Yes. But in all that, he hadn't seen his Bella.
Till now.
She was there, all piss and vinegar, just under the surface and now that he knew she was still there, he wasn't letting her go this time. He had let her walk away from him once and it nearly killed him. He knew better now.
Edward took a deep breath and looked at his friends, "I'm not going to let that girl go anywhere."