We lay in the hospital bed in silence for awhile, until out of nowhere Alex turned to me and said quietly, "You want to know what happened, don't you?"
I swallowed hard, not sure if I was ready to hear this. "I don't need to know anything until you're ready to tell me."
Alex nodded and burrowed closer to me. I stroked her hair, relishing the feel of her silky blonde tresses under my fingertips.
"I love you," I whispered, pressing a kiss to her temple.
She wrapped her arms around me with surprising strength, holding on to me with all she had. "You're not upset?"
"That you called me? Of course not. I'm glad you did."
"No, about . . . who hurt me."
I gave her another kiss. "Your boyfriend?"
She nodded.
I held her close. "It doesn't matter, Alex. You're here with me now, and that's the important thing."
"I still love you, Olivia. I always have. I always will."
"I know, baby. I know."
She looked up at me for a moment, her deep blue eyes glassy. "He hurt me, Olivia. I don't know why I stayed."
I sighed, wanting nothing more than to ask for his name. I would find him and kill him. He would never hurt my Alex, or anyone else, again. "What happened this time, sweetheart?" I finally asked.
She bit her lip and met my eyes again, looking so small and vulnerable that I couldn't help but tighten my arms around her. "He thought I was cheating on him," she murmured, averting her gaze from mine. "He was always possessive, he always worried that when I was out, I was with another man, that I was sleeping with someone else. I told him I wasn't, but he didn't believe me. He called me a whore. He said he had to check. I tried to run, but he grabbed my wrist and pushed me against the wall. I hit my head. He pulled me upstairs and forced me down on the bed. He pulled my clothes off. I tried to fight him, but he was too strong. He grabbed my neck and choked me until I stopped struggling.
"He hit me. He put his hands all over me. To make sure I hadn't been with another man. He touched me everywhere. I told him to stop, but he hit me again. He put his fingers inside me. His whole hand. I screamed. It hurt so much. He smacked me. He said I'd been with someone else, that he could feel it. That I had to be punished. I told him I hadn't, but he said I was a slut and I needed to learn my lesson, that I belonged to him, just him. He took his clothes off. He raped me. Then he left. He said he wasn't finished, that he'd be back later. I tried to get up, to call the police, but I couldn't move. It hurt too much."
She took a deep breath. "He came back, maybe an hour later. He raped me again. He called me a whore and made me turn over, so he could – so he could rape me again, anally. I started crying. I was begging for him to stop, I was so ashamed, it just hurt so, so much, I thought I was going to pass out. He told me to shut up, but I couldn't. He took out his lighter, the one he uses for his cigarettes. He burned me with it. Three times. Between my legs. I was screaming. He put one of his socks in my mouth. I was choking. He hit me again and told me if I couldn't stay still, he was going to kill me. I forced myself not to fight him. He beat me. I must have passed out, because when I woke up, he was gone." She looked up at me once more, her eyes wide and shining with unshed tears. "All this because he thought I was cheating."
I felt tears in my own eyes at what had happened to her. My heart was breaking, and I didn't know what comfort I could offer. There were no words for this. I just held her to me and kissed her forehead, her cheek, her neck. Gently, lightly, wanting to reassure rather than to frighten. I loved her so much. She was my Alex and I couldn't believe all this had happened to her, and I hadn't been there. Not then, and even now, I didn't know what I could do for her. My poor baby was in so much pain.
I smoothed her hair back from her forehead and whispered, "I love you, princess."
She nodded and curled into my side. "I know you do."
My heart clenched. "Is there anything I can do for you, baby?"
"No. You're here. That's all I need." She looked up at me. "Just don't let go. Don't let me go."
"Never," I promised.
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