I don't own anything except the very long author's note that you will find at the bottom!
October 2002
This is so embarrassing. God, it's not like it's my wedding day. It's just a fucking date. I pull at the ridiculous skirt Alice insists that I wear. I mean a skirt? What if I need to get on a bike? Okay, so realistically, that probably isn't going to happen, but it could!
Standing from the bench where I was putting on my make-up and turning to check out my ass in the skirt, I see that it is indeed huge. Not voluptuous like Alice claimed when she pushed me into this crazy ass outfit. Maybe I should change. I mean, Riley is used to seeing me in jeans and a t-shirt and he still asked me out, right? It would be easy to just change really quickly and be comfortable tonight. Pulling the lip gloss out of the bag, I put it on and pucker my lips, still contemplating if I should change or not. Turning around and looking at myself in the mirror, I decided to keep it on. Okay, this is as far as it goes, I mentally tell Alice.
I hear a light knock on the door and turn to see who it is.
Esme glides into the room –I wish I could be that graceful, and guides me to sit back down. She starts combing my hair into place and smiles at me through the mirror.
"Are you excited?" she asks with a motherly glow.
"Yeah, but I don't get why this is such a big deal. I mean, it's just a date with a guy that I've gone to school with for like...I don't know, forever."
She just smiles at me and keeps brushing.
"I know honey but humor Charlie, okay? It's your first date and now that you have turned sixteen, he realizes that he doesn't have too many of your 'firsts' left."
I guess I hadn't ever really thought about it like that. I just hate being fussed over like this. I know when Riley gets here, Daddy will give him the third degree and embarrass the shit out of me.
"Did you fuss over Edward's first date too?" I can't help but throw him in there. Any chance to talk about him and I'm all over it. She looks kind of sad for a moment and I realize that I should give this to Charlie.
"He didn't even tell me when he was going on his first date."
She puts the brush down on the table and turns me to face her while touching up my make-up.
"I think it's different for boys than girls anyway."
"So, you haven't met Bree?" Stupid bitch. Okay, so I might be a little biased since she has been hanging out with the boy I have been in love with for 3 years, but she is a skanky little ho. Honest! I've heard the boys talking about it at school.
Esme just chuckles.
"Honey, boys only introduce the girls they are serious about to their mother. That one is not one I have to worry about sharing a last name with."
Wiping from under my eyes, Esme stands back and looks at me with love.
"I know I'm not your mother, but I'm so glad to be here with you. You're like a daughter to me."
I can't help but smile and I feel my eyes buring.
"Bella, your date is here!" I hear Daddy yell from downstairs. Esme and I shuffle toward my door and I have to take a few breaths to calm myself.
Before I'm out the door, I turn to her and smile.
"You're right Moma Es, you aren't my mother." I can see her eyes fall a little but she never lets her smile slip.
"You're so much better than her. You are everything I could have ever hoped a mother would be."
As I walk down the stairs toward the foyer, I don't have to look back to her to know that's she is probably fighting tears too.
When I get to the bottom of the stairs, I realize that this isn't the quiet family affair that I thought it would be. Dad is standing there beside a very quiet and scared looking Riley as I suspected, but on the other side of the door is Emmett, Jasper and Edward.
I know that I should be looking at Riley and not Edward, but if's he is in the room with me, that is not going to happen. He looks good tonight, as always, but his usual smirk is replaced by a firm line that very nearly looks like a scowl.
"Bella, you look….wow." Riley smiles at me and stuffs his hands in his pockets. He doesn't look so bad himself.
Riley is a really good looking guy with sandy blonde hair and bright blue eyes. I can easily think of several girls that would love to be standing in their living room, waiting to be picked up on a date with Riley. In fact, a lot of them thought I had lost my mind when I wouldn't agree to go out with him the first 3 times he ask, but I had my head, and my heart, set on the one that is currently standing to my right.
Daddy pulls my hand toward him and gives me a little hug. Okay, Moma Es was right, I need to cut him some slack.
"You look beautiful, Bells." He follows as Riley and I start toward the door and I notice that Emmett and Jasper have walked ahead and cornered Riley next to the truck and are speaking a little too animatedly toward him. Edward stands between him and me.
It's not normal for him to have not spoken to me. Usually he takes any and all opportunities to tease me.
Once Daddy has gone down to the truck to continue harassing Riley with the boys, I turn to Edward.
"What's wrong with you?" I have to admit, I probably did sound a little too harsh but what is his problem?
"Nothing," he spat.
"Whatever. I don't have time for this." I start to walk toward the truck and Edward reaches out and brushes his fingertips against mine. As my heart starts to pound in my chest, I wonder if he can hear it because it is beating so loud.
"You're breathtaking." He whispers, so seriously and so heartfelt that my breathing hitches in my throat. I'm not sure what to say or do because I am not used to this serious side of Edward.
It would be so easy to take this beautiful man whispering adoring words and just enjoy the hell out of it. If Edward hadn't always made these flirty little comments. When I first met him 3 years ago, they weren't all that common but I was 13 and he was 16. It would not have been exactly 'appropriate' if you know what I mean. But as I have gotten older, the comments have increased and I love it. But no matter how often I flirt back, no matter how badly I've tried to get him to notice me, it's never more than just innocent teasing.
There is no teasing tonight.
I brush my hands over the front of my skirt and look down. "Yeah, Alice made me wear this." When I finally get the nerve to look at him he smiles.
"No, you are breathtaking…everyday." He gives me one last smile and turns, walking into the house and leaving me to my date.
~o0o~
Now, I can't say what kind of date Riley and I would have had if the beginning had gone a little different. What I can say is that after Edward said that, I should have just taken my ass back into the house because I wasn't able to concentrate on anything but his words the entire night. Riley actually had to remind me to bowl when my turn came up.
As we pull into the driveway, I notice the house is dark except a light in the living room. We are about 45 minutes early for my curfew so I'm sure Daddy is sitting in there, asleep, on the couch.
"I had a good time tonight, Bella." Riley shifts the park in drive and turn toward me with a smile.
"I did too, Riley." I smile and start to gather my purse and put my heels back on from where I kicked them off on the drive home. I realize that the date is over and that generally means it is time for a goodnight kiss. I really hope he doesn't try. I'm just not quite ready for that.
He lets out a loud huff and pushes his head back against the headrest.
"You had a good time, but this is the last time isn't it?"
I hadn't really thought that far I guess. I mean, yeah, I had a good time. If I had stopped thinking about how crazy Edward was acting for a couple minutes tonight, I probably would have had a better one.
"I don't know, Riley. I mean, I had fun."
He gives me a tight smile and shrugs his shoulders.
"But I'm not him, right?"
Scrunching my forehead, "Him?"
He lets out a chuckle and his lips turn up into a half smile while he points out the front windshield.
Following his line of vision I can make out a body sitting at the end of the dock down by the pond. Daddy had it dug so he could use the dirt for a practice track and it has always been one of my favorite spots. I can't really make out who it is until he kicks one of his legs forward in the water and stuff his hands in his hoodie.
Edward.
"What are you talking about Riley? Edward and I are just friends." No matter how much I wish that weren't true.
Riley smiles and leans back against the seat.
"Yeah, I guess you wouldn't see it." I'm not sure if he is talking to me or himself.
"Bella, if you were just friends, he wouldn't have looked like he wanted to remove my balls with a spoon tonight when you came downstairs."
I'm not sure what to think about that.
"He wouldn't be sitting down there on that dock, where I am willing to bet he has been all night, waiting for me to bring you home."
"He thinks of me as a sister." I argue.
"Trust me Bella, I am a brother and I damn sure don't think about my sister the way that dude thinks about you."
Saying our goodbyes and hopping out of his truck, I can't help but replay Riley's words over in my head. Could it be true? Edward has flirted and teased me but he has never tried to make a move on me.
I throw my purse inside the door, and begin to walk down the hill toward the dock where Edward is still sitting. I love coming out here at night. The water looks like it goes all the way up next to the woods and the moon scatters thousands of tiny flecks over the whole surface. The crickets chirp and the woods buzz with wildlife.
Sitting down beside him and sticking my own feet into the water, we make circles with our legs and don't say anything for a while.
"Did you have a good time tonight?" He finally breaks the silence.
"No, he tried to stick his hands down my pants." I try not to smile, but even when I'm just teasing I am a really shitty liar.
Edward's head jerks toward mine so quickly that he nearly falls off the dock and into the water.
"What the fuck! Where does he live?" Edward practically growls as he starts to jump up from the dock.
"Jeez Edward, calm down. I was just joking." I can't help but laugh as his eyes go wide and he sits back down.
"God Bella! You nearly got the dude killed. Don't joke about shit like that." He huffs and looks back out over the water.
"It was just a date Edward. I'm not going to marry the man." I roll my eyes and pull my legs up out of the water, tuck one under the other and turn toward him.
"I know that you aren't going to marry that BOY." He mirrors my action and faces me.
"Oh yeah, how do you know that?" I smile at him. If I thought he looked good in the daytime, he looks almost magical at night.
"Because you are going to marry me." He smirks and my heart nearly jumps out of my chest.
I can't help but roll my eyes at him.
"Really? That's a big claim for a guy that hasn't ever even kissed me."
Before I even know what's happening Edward is leaning forward and stroking the side of my face with his thumb.
"Do you know how long I have thought about doing that very thing?" He suddenly doesn't look so humorous. He looks pretty serious.
"How long I've wondered what your mouth tastes like?" The stroking of his thumb on the side of my face is now accompanied by a hand on my neck.
"How bad I wanted to punch Riley Biers in the face tonight because I was afraid that he would get to find out the answer to that question?"
Slowly, his head starts toward mine and just before our lips touch, he whispers, "I'm tired of fighting it. I'm not going to fight it anymore."
When his lips touch mine, I can hear all the blood in my body rushing through my ears. My stomach is weak and my hands are shaking. I can't remember ever feeling like this.
But when his tongue gently massages my bottom lip, I damn near faint.
Kissing Edward Cullen is now off the bucket list and has made its way onto the top 5 best moments of my life. Where it sits, nestled comfortably, at number one.
When Edward pulls back, I can't help the smile that nearly splits my face in half. I also can't help but be excited about the one that graces his face too.
Edward walks me up the hill and when we stop at the front door, he leans in and presses his lips against mine again.
"Good night, love." His breath is still on my face and I want to breathe him in forever.
"Good night." I smile and trying hard not to squeal like a 13 year old girl at her first boy band concert.
When I get into the house and start up the stairs, Esme clears her throat from the living room where she is sitting on the couch crocheting.
"Must have been some date for you to have come in that excited." She never looks up from her needles but I can see the smile on her face.
"Yeah, we had a good time." In all the years that Esme has been like a mom to me, I've never seen her in quite the light that I do tonight. Tonight, she is the mother of the man of my dreams, not my mom or my friend. I don't think I can talk to her about the fantasies I have that revolve around her son.
I'm sure she told Daddy that she would wait up for me so he could go to sleep. She's waited for me and gone home late many nights since Pops is usually working anyway. But tonight, when I would normally run in and tell her about whatever I had been up to, I can't.
How do you tell someone that you were just thinking of ways to molest their son?
"Yeah, that Riley must be quite the date." She finally looks up and I see her eyebrow raised.
"Yeah. He is. Goodnight." I practically jump out of my skin and run up the stairs.
I can hear her chuckle from the couch and I know she knows.
Mommas always know everything.
~o0o~
Present Day
Yeah, mommas know everything. I should have known that when I got here, she would know just what I needed. Which is why we are still in the parking lot, locked in a hug with tears and snot all over both our faces.
I'm not even sure where the other girls got off to. We've probably been standing here like this for 20 minutes. I hadn't seen Esme or Carlisle since the funeral a year ago when they sat in the front pew with me and held my hand. I was too distracted to realize it then, but they are the only parents I have left.
Pulling back from me, Esme strokes my hair and then rubs the tears away from my face.
"I've missed you so much, baby." She smiles and I try to quit sobbing so that I can tell her that I missed her too.
"I missed you too." I smile and look around us.
"Where is Pops?"
She places her hand on my back and we start toward the inside of one of the buildings that is situated beside the track.
"He's out playing with Edward and the boys. I ask him to give us a few minutes."
As we sat down, never letting go of each other, I realize how blessed I am to have such an incredible mother in my life.
"How have you been?"
How do I answer that? I'm not sure. I thought I was doing just fine. I loved my good, safe and boring life in Charleston. But then I come here and my hearts aches for home.
"Good." Ok, maybe not exactly the truth, but still not a lie either.
She shakes her head and gives me that little smirk that tells me she knows better. I've seen it on her beautiful face more than once, even more than on her son's.
"Where is my Bellabee?" I hear Pops booming from the doorway. Before I know what is happening, I am swept up in Carlisle's arms and the tears start all over again.
"Hey there, now don't cry." He whispers in my hair and strokes the back of my head.
I had forgotten how much I missed them. It won't ever be the same as having Daddy here with me, but it's pretty damn close.
"Now come on, you can't let me interrogate your boyfriend on Charlie's behalf if you don't stop crying." He chuckles in my ear and I pull back, wiping my face on the back of my hand.
I notice everyone is filing in the room now and Jamie walks forward, putting his arm around me and pulling me toward his chest.
"You okay, baby?"
"Yeah," I smile at him and then at my Cullen parents. "Never better."
When Edward comes through the door, I notice that he looks up and down my length and takes a deep breath. I'm figuring that he's noticed the clothes. I probably look like I did nearly 10 years ago.
"So now, Mr. Montgomery, what are your intentions with our Bella here?" Pops is trying to give a serious look, but it's hard for him to be intimidating with Emmett and Jasper cracking up behind him.
"Well, sir, I plan to make her as happy as possible for as long as she will let me."
Wow. That was a hell of an answer.
Carlisle's mouth draws up on one side.
"Well, I wish I would have thought of that answer when Esme's father asked me that 35 years ago." He chuckles and everyone starts to chatter amongst themselves.
Somehow all the conversations around the room integrate and we find ourselves in one big discussion about the race and the season.
"He really is incredible. I can see how he wins a lot." Jamie says talking about Edward.
Yeah, that's all Edward Cullen needs is a bigger head on the track. He's good and he knows he is. He always has.
"You know, they claim he can read minds." Emmett offers with a huge, dimpled grin.
"Oh shut up, Emmett." Rose interjects.
"They say that because he has a way of anticipating the competition's next move. He always seems to avoid wrecks and he knows when someone is going to shut him out." Rose continues, explaining Edward's nickname of mind-reader.
"Watching him ride today, he was like poetry in motion. I can see why he can't be beat." Jamie smiles and playfully elbows Edward in the ribs.
Edward just chuckles back and I find myself a little concerned that they are suddenly so chummy.
"Oh, he can be beat alright." Alice raises her eyebrows and tilts her head knowingly.
"Really? I thought you said that he was leading the points board by a huge margin." Jamie asks Jasper.
He smiles at looks at me.
"Oh he is. The rider that always beats Edward doesn't compete." Looking back at Jamie, Jasper shakes his head.
"Who then?" Jamie questions.
Suddenly, the entire group is looking at me. Crap.
"Bella? Honey I didn't even know you rode!" Jamie looks like a kid at Christmas.
"It's been a long time, you know?"
"Come on Bells, show Jamie what you got." Emmett claps his hand on my back.
And that is how I found myself seated on a bike, after 4 years, at the starting line with Edward Cullen by my side. Jasper's pants and boots were still too big, but they're still smaller than anyone else's, so I hope they don't cause too much trouble riding. The boots are going to give me hell on the pegs though, but I think I can manage.
"You ready for this Bella Swan?" Edward shouts from under the helmet.
I just shake my head and pump the throttle, tuning him out. As the board turns sideways and indicates that we've only got seconds to go before the gate drops, that old feeling creeps back in. My heart beats fast, the adrenaline is rushing and I can't help the smile that spreads across my face.
Moments later, as I cross the finish line with frustrated but chuckling Edward Cullen behind me and my family laughing on the sidelines, I can't help but admit that I feel it. That feeling that this is right, that this is what I have been missing.
Seriously guys! I am in shock and awe at the combustion of my inbox in the past week! I have never had anyone rec' me out and the fact that has happened brought me to tears! I even had some people who are basically fan-fic royalty not only review, but pimp me out! I can't even tell you the high I have been on this week.
I even have a beta now! Big shout out and thanks to the lovely TwilightMom505. She is the first person to ever actually take an interest in my writing and I am eternally in love with her. Thank you so much to everyone who read, reviewed and rec'd. You have no idea how much I needed that.