AN: Thanks to Orange for co-writing this chapter with me.
Make Her Pay – 6
[gallowsCalibrator has begun trolling carcinoGeneticist]
GC: H3Y R3D L34D3R!
[carcinoGeneticist has begun trolling gallowsCalibrator]
CG: FUCK
CG: HAVE YOU BEEN TALKING TO JOHN?
CG: THAT FUCKING ASSHOLE
GC: Y3S H3 W4S D3SCR1B1NG 34RTH MOV13S TO M3
CG: IS THAT ALL HE SAID?
CG: ARE YOU SURE?
GC: Y3S 1 4M SUR3
GC: H3 1S TH3 MOV13 HUM4N 1SNT H3?
CG: SURE. WHY NOT. I GUESS SO.
GC: W3LL, YOU WOULD KNOW!
CG: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
GC: W3LL YOU W4TCH3D H1M GROW UP D1DNT YOU? WH4T 3LS3 WOULD 1 M34N STUP1D NUBNUTS?
CG: FUCK OFF
GC: H3 1S L1K3 YOU!
CG: MY MOV1ES ARE A MILLION FUCKING TIMES BETTER THAN HIS SHIT
CG: HIS MOVIES ARE LIKE THE LAST INITIAL OF THE WORST TROLL MOVIE EVER MADE
CG: EVER
CG: DON'T TALK TO HIM ABOUT MOVIES
GC: J3GUS YOU DONT H4V3 TO G3T SO D3F3NS1V3!
GC: 1T SOUND3D L1K3 4 PR3TTY COOL MOV13 NO M4TT3R WH4T YOU S4Y!
GC: 1T H4D ROBOTS 4ND D3MON 3MP3RORS 4ND FURRY LUS11!
GC: 4ND JUST1C3
GC: SO MUCH JUST1C3
CG: WHATEVER
CG: JUST DON'T CALL ME RED LEADER OKAY? THAT IS A FUCKING STUPID NAME
CG: FROM A FUCKING STUPID MOVIE
GC: YOU DONT H4V3 TO Y3LL : [
CG: I AM ALWAYS YELLING TEREZI
CG: FUCKING ALWAYS
CG: FOREVER
CG: FUCK NO SORRY.
CG: I JUST UH
CG: SHIT. NEVER MIND
GC: WH4T? T3LL M3!
CG: IT'S JUST
CG: I MISS YOU OKAY.
CG: FUCK.
CG: WHY ARE YOU SO FAR AWAY?
GC: 1 DONT KNOW B3C4US3 MY H1V3 JUST H4PP3N3D TO B3 H3R3?
CG: I FUCKING KNOW THAT
CG: I JUST WISH YOU LIVED CLOSER.
GC: BUT TH3R3 4R3NT M4NY TR33S WH3R3 YOU L1V3!
GC: 1 LOV3 TR33S! TH3Y SM3LL L1K3 M1NT!
CG: OH, OKAY. I GET IT. SO TREES SMELL BETTER THAN ME. FINE.
GC: DONT B3 STUP1D NUBBY
GC: OBV1OUSLY YOU SM3LL B3TT3R. YOU SM3LL L1K3 4 C4RN1V4L!
CG: CARNIVALS ARE STUPID. THEY'RE FOR STUPID FUCKING WRIGGLERS.
GC: BUT TR33S 4R3 TH3 F1RST TH1NG 1 L34RN3D TO R3COGN1Z3 TH3 SM3LL OF 4FT3R 1 W3NT BL1ND!
GC: TH3Y 4R3 K1ND OF SP3C14L TO M3
GC: 4LSO TH1S 1S WH3R3 1 GR3W UP
CG: FUCK. OKAY, I GUESS I CAN KIND OF UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU MEAN.
CG: IT'S NOT LIKE I WAS TELLING YOU TO COME LIVE WITH ME OR ANYTHING.
CG: I JUST WISH I COULD SEE YOU MORE
CG: FUCK
GC: TH4TS WH4T TROLL14N 1S FOR!
CG: TEREZI, YOU KNOW IT'S NOT THE FUCKING SAME.
CG: TROLLIAN IS LIKE THE STUPID SHIT EQUIVALENT OF TOSSING ROLLS OF BOG PAPER AT EACH OTHER AND EXPECTING MEANING TO GET ACROSS.
CG: SO BASICALLY IT IS FUCKING AWFUL.
GC: J3GUS OK4Y!
GC: YOU C4N B3 SUCH 4 DOUCH3B4G SOM3T1M3S!
GC: 1 W4S ONLY TRY1NG TO H3LP.
CG: FUCK
CG: I'M SORRY, TEREZI
CG: I'M JUST KIND OF IN A BAD MOOD TODAY
CG: I DID SOMETHING STUPID
GC: YOU 4R3 4LW4YS 1N 4 B4D MOOD
GC: 4ND YOU 4R3 4LW4YS STUP1D
GC: V3RY V3RY STUP1D
GC: STUP1D STUP1D DUMB
CG: THANKS. THAT MAKES ME FEEL JUST SO MUCH FUCKING BETTER.
CG: I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID ANYTHING.
GC: NO NOW YOU H4V3 TO T3LL M3!
GC: SP1LL OUT 4LL TH3 R4W ORG4NY B1TS TO M3
GC: T3LL M3 4LL TH3 HORR1BL3 TH1NGS
GC: 1 PROM1S3 1 WONT L4UGH
GC: W3LL PROB4BLY NOT
CG: YEAH, THAT REALLY MAKES ME WANT TO FUCKING TELL YOU.
CG: YOU'RE GREAT AT THIS.
GC: 1 4M 4N 4BSOLUT3 M4ST3R WH3N 1T COM3S TO R4W SQUISHY F33L1NGS!
GC: SO T3LL M3!
CG: FINE.
CG: I UH
CG: I ACCIDENTALLY CUT MYSELF TODAY
GC: W3R3 YOU DO1NG STUP1D TH1NGS W1TH YOUR S1CKL3S 4G41N?
GC: D1D 4NYON3 S33?
CG: NO I DID NOT DO ANYTHING STUPID WITH MY SICKLES
CG: I AM A GOD WITH THEM
CG: THEY LISTEN TO MY EVERY FUCKING COMMAND OKAY
CG: AND NO, NO ONE SAW
CG: I DIDN'T LEAVE THE HIVE OR ANYTHING
CG: I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW IT HAPPENED
GC: DO YOU W4NT M3 TO L1CK 1T B3TT3R? H3H3H3
GC: 1 W1LL COM3 4ND L1CK YOUR STUP1D F1NG3R OR WH4T3V3R 1D1OT P4RT OF YOU TH4T YOU CUT 4ND M4K3 3V3RYTH1NG 4LL B3TT3R
GC: B3C4US3 TH4T 1S WH4T 1 DO.
CG: LIKE AS IN YOU COME HERE?
CG: FINE.
CG: IF YOU WERE TO COME ALL THE WAY HERE, I WOULD LET YOU LICK ME.
CG: HAPPY?
GC: V3RY!
GC: S33 YOU SOON! 3
[gallowsCalibrator has ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist]
CG: WAIT
CG: WHAT
CG: WHAT THE HELL
CG: ARE YOU JUST GOING TO LIKE WALK HERE OR SOMETHING?
CG: I DON'T UNDERSTAND
CG: GET YOUR ASS BACK IN THAT CHAIR AND TALK TO ME, TEREZI!
CG: FUCK.
"Stupid Nubby. Why would I walk here? That is stupid. You are stupid."
"Bulgegargling nutfuck! How the fuck did you get here?" Karkat spun around in his chair, eyes wide. Terezi was in his hive. In his room. Behind him.
"I used a teleporter, nubnuts." Terezi tapped her glasses, leaning lazily on her canekind. "When we came back, I noticed that mine was outside the hive. I just figured you would have one, too. I think we all do. I am surprised no one has thought to use them until now."
"Wait. Let me get this fucking straight. We could have been visiting each other all this time and yet you've only revealed this right fucking now?"
"Well, I thought our smarty smart leadertroll would have realized it before." Terezi frowned. Then, she cackled. "Obviously not. I gave you too much credit. Hehehe."
"Fuck off. I've been too busy to notice stupid fucking teleporter pads, okay? Fuck."
Terezi waited for a few minutes, turning her head slowly this way and that, smelling in various directions to map out the room. "I was promised candy apples," she said, finally finishing her mental diagram.
"Fuck. I guess I did say that, didn't I? Fuck. Okay, fine. Do whatever you want." He stood and held his arm out to her, looking away. "It's just a fucking scratch, though. Don't get too excited."
Terezi sniffed, then tentatively reached out to grasp his wrist and elbow between her hands. "Oh? You cut it here? Well, now I am convinced you were doing stupid things with your sickles again."
"I was not doing stupid things with my sickles! I am a fucking master of those weapons!"
"Yes, yes. I fought with you, remember?" She grinned. "I know very well how you fight. Or at least, try to. Hehehe."
"Fuck off. I was amazing." He flinched as she pressed her lips to the cut. "Hey, not so rough."
"Sorry. I forgot that pupa was such a delicate little stenchblossom. I will strive to keep from damaging your sensitive little wriggler hide."
He waited for a while, watching awkwardly. "Is it okay?"
"Hehehe yes. It is very good."
"G-good."
"Wow, you're really warm."
"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"
"I do not understand how that can be misinterpreted."
"Fuck, Terezi, I know what you mean. I guess I just don't really know why you said it."
She shrugged. "I don't know. I suppose it just makes the candy apples taste better? Like they are spicy. Hehehe."
Karkat grimaced in disgust. "That sounds horrible. How the hell are you not just spewing bugbits just everywhere."
"No! It is very, very good." She rubbed the skin of his upper arm with her thumb thoughtfully as she paused. "Are you feeling any better? It tastes sweeter when you are happy, you know. Very, very sweet."
"Well, I'm pretty fucking happy right now."
"You are?"
"Yeah."
Terezi smiled, then released him. "Thank you, Nubby. That was very fun."
"What—you're leaving?"
"No?" She stood back, leaning on her canekind again. "Do you want me to leave?"
"Fuck. No. It just sounded like a goodbye."
"No, I am not saying goodbye. I am just finished. The taste faded. Unless you want me to keep licking you…? Hehehe."
"Fuck. No. No, I don't want that. Don't do that."
"Anyway, you should bandage that. You don't want anyone else to see, right?"
"Well, I mean… I wasn't planning on going out today."
"No! That is not good! You never know what might happen! Stupid Nubby, this is why you need me to keep you from making stupid grubby mistakes! You would be dead without me!"
"Jegus, fine, I'll go! Keep your gogdamn glasses on, I'll do it! Just sit on the bed or something while I go fix it."
"No! Bring it here! I will do it because you are obviously incapable of being useful!"
"Terezi, fuck, I'm not that helpless. I can do it myself."
"No, I will do it! Just get your stupid stuff and bring it here!"
"Fine, whatever. Jegus." So Karkat disappeared for a few minutes, returning with a small roll of bandages. "This is fucking overkill, but whatever you want."
"Sit down!"
"Whatever."
Terezi clumsily took the roll from him and began winding it around his arm. "Stupid idiot Nubby," she muttered.
"Ouch. Fuck. Terezi, you're doing it too tight. And the cut really isn't that big, it stops—"
"Let me do this!"
Karkat grabbed her hand, irritated. "You need help!"
She slapped him away. They proceeded to have a very brief slap fight, which Terezi won. "No I am perfectly able to do this!" In truth, Terezi knew he was right, but she would never allow herself to admit it. She couldn't "see" the cut very well, so she was mostly guessing at this point. "I will fix you!"
"Just accept some fucking constructive criticism! I won't take it away from you! Fuck, Terezi, you're being unreasonable!"
"I said, let me do this!"
"Fine, do whatever the hell you want." Karkat leaned back on his good arm, looking up at the ceiling. "Jegus, Terezi, you've used up like a pound of bandages. Just fucking tie it off."
"I know what I am doing! I don't want it to come off! That would be really bad!"
"Terezi, it won't come off. I fucking guarantee that it is fucking soldered to my arm at this point. Just tie it off."
She hesitated. "Fine, I will believe you." Terezi made a face, but she tied the knot all the same. "There. You are fixed."
"Thanks, I guess."
"Yes. Thank me. I am wonderful. Are you better now?" She patted the bandage.
"Yeah. Thanks for coming over. You're, uh, a really good friend, I guess."
"Aww. Come here, pupa." She spread her arms.
"You aren't going to lick me again, are you?"
"Do you want me to? I was going to hug you a little."
"No, just hugging is fine. Really."
"Yes. Good Nubby."
"Terezi?
"Yeah, Grumpyhorns McDoucheface?"
"I. Shit. I guess I just wanted to say. I'm glad I have you."
"Hehehe. You should be!" She paused. "But…I am glad to have you, too."
He stared awkwardly at the postered wall behind her. "Do you want to stay over?"
Terezi raised her eyebrows, miming an overly exaggerated expression of shock. "Nubby, that is very forward of you!"
"I don't fucking mean it like that. Shit. I knew you'd say that too." He pushed away from her, shaking his head. He forgot she couldn't see.
"Hehehe of course you did! Yes, I will stay over no matter what!" She threw her arms around his neck again—or, at least she tried to-and ended up slapping him in the nose.
He pinched it. She was way stronger than she looked. But he let her keep hugging him anyway. "Fuck. Whatever. You're not allowed to fucking leave so it's a good thing you're staying."
"Is that a fact? Hehehe."
"It is now."
Terezi toyed with her glasses for a few minutes. "Hey, Nubby. There is something I forgot to ask you."
"What?"
"Is your foodsack okay? I sort of forgot about the stabbing but I just remembered. Hehehe."
"Like, from Jack? Yeah. I'm alright. I mean some days it's sore but I'm fucking alive."
"Hehehe, did you get a manly mantroll scar?"
"I have one but it's really fucking lame, just some short lines."
"Hehehe. Don't worry, Nubby, I am sure you will get some really impressive ones someday!" She, like many trolls, thought that scars were a good approximation of how talented a troll was. The more impressive the scar, the more impressive the troll.
"I am not sure I want some."
She was not unwilling to compromise. "Well I am sure the ones you have are cool enough, then!"
"Thanks, though they're silly…"
"No, I bet they are really cool."
"I can just fucking show you."
"I don't think that will really work, Nubby. Hehehe."
"I can just not, then."
"I can't see, Nubby. It's okay. Just let me play with your silly little horns instead."
"Shit. I forgot that you're blind. Sorry. You can, uh, feel them I guess? Look shit. Just play with my horns."
"I will wait for that! But yes, let me play with them. They are so smooth and round!" She leaned across him and touched the colourfully banded horns, giggling.
"They are the horns of fucking leadertrolls, that's what."
"Manly leadertroll horns! They smell like candy corn and safety. Hehehe."
"Safety. I didn't know that was a smell. Do I make you feel safe?"
"Yes. I feel safe and warm like a little grub hehehe."
Karkat was stunned. "Well. Uh. I'm glad. I uh. I guess I never expected to hear that? I'm glad."
"And I don't have to worry about accidentally cutting myself on them! It is very fortunate."
"No, you don't. These are fucking considerate horns."
"Yes, very! But I worry about mine. Don't cut yourself on them, Nubby! Even if it does taste good. That would be very bad."
"Don't worry. I am well practiced in avoiding injuries. We should be fine."
"Good! I don't want to be the one to hurt you."
"It's fucking okay if you do. I know it's not intentional."
"Aww, Nubby. That makes me feel a little better."
"Good. It was supposed to."
"Thank you, Nubby. You are very sweet and squishy. It is like redrom was named for you, hehehe."
"I'm glad you think so. I try. But don't fucking tell people. It's only for you."
"Hehehe but what if I want to brag to Kanaya!"
"Fuck. I guess Kanaya's okay. But no one else. Wait. Fucking brag about what?"
"Don't worry about it, Nubby."
"Why the fuck not?"
"Don't worry about it," she repeated. "It is not something a manly leadertroll needs to concern himself with!"
"Fine. I guess I'll drop it. Whatever."
"Hehehe, Nubby, you are such a good troll. It makes me want to lick your face." She pinched his cheeks roughly.
"Whoa, now who's coming on a bit strongly?"
"When am I not doing that?"
"This is moreso than your usual forwardness? Maybe it's just because we're in my hive."
"Hehehe. Is Nubby nervous?"
"Fuck off no."
"It's okay, Nubby! I won't bite…today, anyway!"
"That's a fucking relief."
"Yes, it is."
"Hey, Terezi?"
"What is it, Asshead Von Bulgetoucher?"
"I missed you."
She grinned. "I missed you, too, Nubby."