I AM SO, SO, SO SORRY! I KNOW I SHOULD BE STAKED! I SHOULD MEET THE SUN! HELL I SHOULD BE SILVERED loll okay enough with the vampire puns, what I mean to say is I suck, I know (hahaha again vampire pun... geez brain, shut up).

I have been a most terrible updater these past weeks and left you guys in the dark with my story as if I'd abandoned it (HELL NO).

First I had my midterms and I was quite taken with school stuff and then I was just out flat on my butt with writing. My muses have been total bitches these past weeks and as much as I know where I'm taking this eventually, the next few chapters are just a pain in the butt to get on paper. I'm so excited about Rhodes I just want to jump straight there but then again I can't! We have some furry business to attend first!

So there, I know, piss poor excuse for leaving you in the dark for like what three weeks? But I'm truly sorry and I'll try to update more soon. Anyhow, here's a somehow long chapter to make it up to you.

I hope you enjoy this as I wrote and rewrote it again and again. Blank page syndrome, what can I say. But I think it came out alright (I hope?) If not, you may throw me tomatoes, I do not mind. I kind of deserve them anyways for being such a lousy writer and leaving you hanging on chapter 33 for so long.

A couple of songs to listen to because they're just awesome.

Peggy Sussed - Underworld (title comes from that song which is pure genius if you ask me :D! MICKEY IS GOD!)

They Won't Go When I Go - George Michael (falallalala lalallala)

Like A Hobo - Charlie Winston

Kick The Bucket - Charlie Winston

Number 1 Crush - Garbage (okay I must share my current obsession with you people, I was reminded of that song watching the amazing movie Soldier's Girl with Lee Pace who makes a prettier girl than most... and really just watch the movie, he's amazing in it) And anyways, the song is just pure musical sex :) stripper songs LOL love Garbage's vibe :D

Atlantis to Interzone - The Klaxons Crystal Castles Mix (WAHHHHH! LOVE ITTTTT!)

Here I think that's enough for today LOL

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW even though I don't deserve it it makes me sooooo happy :) and maybe my muses will be nicer to me with a bunch of your amazing feedback. I thank you all so much for your concern (I got emails from people worrying I'd abandoned this story :O I love you guys really) and for sticking with me this long and giving me criticism! And for reading me at all :)

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoo

P.S. My TB withdrawal is hard on me... I can't wait to buy all three seasons and learn them by heart... but right now Youtube has become my best TB friend as I re-watch all my favourite moments.

OH ALEX SKARSGARD WHERE ART THOU!

a) in my bed

b) in my shower

c) on my kitchen counter

d) all of the above

Yes, I'm very funny ain't I... Just wishful thinking really :D

On with the show :D

Pam looked at everything curiously, as if she'd never been to my place before. She went straight to my bedroom and started rummaging through my closet.

'Rude much?' I muttered at her, sitting crossed leg on my bed.

'Your lingerie is vastly inappropriate. You should only always wear lace in warm tones like red or cranberry or even nice pinks. With your skin tone that's the best. You can occasionally go for the skimpy little white piece. I know Eric is quite fond of white on you. Makes you look so much more… innocent and virginal…' She said, eyeing handling my thongs curiously. I thought about telling her to get her hands off my lingerie but she's Pam. No use telling her off.

'You have quite a nice couple of dresses… I'd love to take you shopping though. I could buy you all sorts of nice things! We could actually go now if you like!' She exclaimed, cheerfully.

'Shopping… at two in the morning?' I snickered.

'Right. Well in New York some stores are still opened, I'm sure. We could fly there! Chanel would look gorgeous on you!' she purred. Chanel. What about Dior? Oh and maybe some Prada to top it off…

'You don't like shopping?' she asked, frowning.

'I don't exactly have the same budget as you, Pam…' I said, serious.

'We have Eric's credit card, dear. We can buy you anything you want. I'm restricted to one pair of shoes, but then again he probably wouldn't have the heart to make me return them if I bought more…' She mused, rummaging through my jewellery box carefully.

'I'm not a kept woman. If I want clothes, I'll buy them myself… Now can we go do something else?'

'Try this on!' Pam said, throwing me a dress that had belonged to my mother in a nice ruby tone. It was beautiful but I'd never had an occasion to wear it.

'Please Pam…'

'Don't make me force you. I'd love to though…' She said, her eyes sliding down my throat towards my breasts.

'Fine.' I snapped, yanking my dress off my head. Pam's gazed at my body and she nodded slowly.

'Definitely quite a piece. You have very nice breasts.' She commented.

'Oh do shut up…' I sighed. I took the dress from her and pulled it on, turning for her to zip it up.

'Fits like a glove. Why did I never see it on you?'

'I haven't exactly had an occasion to wear it…' I explained, looking at myself in the mirror. It was a floor length gown with an empire waist and a low cut in the front. It was strapless so I pulled my bra off whilst keeping the dress in place in order not to flash Pam. She was already amused enough as it was.

'I'll have to take you shopping for Rhodes. Eric will want you looking all pretty and regal. And you should definitely bring this one. Red is marvellous on you. You should wear it more often…' She said. 'Now for your hair…' she started to say but I stopped her.

'Wow, wow, wow. We're not changing my hair. I haven't cut it since I was in sixth grade except the ends and I don't intend to change it just now…'

'I'd love to give you highlights. You know Eric lets me do his hair!' She cooed. Ah right, Pam the hairdresser… Somehow, I just knew you'd better love what she gave you as a haircut or you might end up losing some other parts.

'My hair is blond. I don't need highlights…' I said, my arms crossed under my chest.

'Indeed, your hair is rather pale. Same colour as Eric… Can I at least play with your hair? We could catch a girl movie or something?' She said, clearly fascinated with how good she was at imitating humans – not.

'Fine…' I breathed. I turned for her to unzip my dress and I shooed her out of the room to change into my pyjamas.

I decided I might as well not tempt the devil – Pam – and picked a very ugly pyjama, an old t-shirt of Jason's from the time he was on the Bon Temps football team and paired the grey top with a pair of grey shorts with a draw string. I looked at myself in the mirror and nodded. Yep, that was perfect. I didn't look sexy or overly sexual in any manner whatsoever. I was about to go wash my face but I heard Pam cussing in the living room. I walked in on the funniest sight ever. Pam was wearing pink all over. As in every single piece of her outfit was pink, from her Hug boots to her sweat pants to her zip sweat top. And she was physically fighting with my television. Obviously it hadn't occurred to Pam that plugging the television in the wall always helped to turn it on and she had pulled it off its stand and was shaking it around, swearing like a sailor.

'What are you doing?' I chocked, bursting into a fit of giggles.

'This damned machine won't work! I fucking hate your human technology! It never goes according to plan!' She hissed, still shaking my old monitor that must have weighted a ton but seemed to be as heavy as a magazine to Pam.

'And you think shaking it around will make it work?' I giggled, shaking with laughter.

'Isn't it how you nasty humans do it with those devices?' She asked, nodding her head at the old flashlight I always kept near the door just in case the electricity went missing. That did it for me. I was literally rolling on the floor laughing and I laughed so loud Pam actually put the television down and placed her hand on her hip, her face cryptic.

'Are you sick? Do you need me to get Eric?' she asked. Ah that Pam. I finally managed to stop laughing and wiped the tears on my cheeks. She eyed the entire procedure with her eyebrow cocked and her hand on her hip.

'How does this impossible machine work?' She sneered, looking at my old television.

'First, you need to plug it.' I giggled. 'Then you can actually turn it on. Shaking devices only works with battery powered things.' I explained, looking through my DVDs for something appropriate. I knew she liked Buffy the Vampire Slayer but I was in no mood for it tonight.

'What do you want to watch?' I asked, still smiling like a cretin from her display of domestic incompetence.

'What do you have?' She asked, eyeing my DVDs curiously. 'Oh this is good!' She said, picking 'Gone With The Wind'. I looked at her with wide eyes. 'Gone with the Wind' was my favourite book and movie.

'You like 'Gone With The Wind'?' I asked, genuinely surprised.

'Scarlett kicks asses. Of course I like 'Gone With The Wind'. I don't know what it is with you humans, thinking I hate everything and everyone…' Pam sneered, rolling her eyes. Pam popped the DVD in the machine without destroying it and she then sat next to me. She looked as if she was about to ask me something so I paused the DVD and turned to her, sighing.

'What is it, Pam?' I asked. She smirked knowingly before speaking.

'Well, I don't have my stuff to give you highlights but I'm pretty sure I could fly to Shreveport to get it and be back in a blink.' Pam said. I rolled my eyes. 'You would look dashing with highlights and then again with Rhodes coming up I'm sure you'll want to look your best for Eric. He looks dashing in a suit so you wouldn't want to look like the ugly duckling now would you?' Pam just had a way to always make you feel good about yourself now didn't she. Plus she wasn't going to let go until I gave in so what was the point in denying her her wicked fun.

'Fine. You can give me highlights, but just a couple. And don't go all crazy-hairdresser on me and end up chopping my hair and dying it black…' I warned, pointing my finger at her.

'What is it with you humans thinking I have no taste. Black would look terrible on you and the contrast with Eric's hair would be simply terrible to the eye.'

'Right…' I said, rolling my eyes.

'You must promise not to tell Eric I left you alone even a minute. He'd have my head on a plate if he knew.' Pam said, heading towards the door. I nodded slowly as the movie menu came on the screen. 'Oh and you can start without me. I know it by heart anyways.' She said, smirking evilly. The next thing I knew, she was out the door and gone. I'd at least get a couple minutes of quiet time. It was close to two thirty in the morning but I wasn't tired at all. Somehow, the whole encounter with Eric and then Madden and the jittery happy Pam had made me all cranky and nervous and even though it would have been infinitely easy to just slip right into bed and sleep in hopes that Pam find something more amusing in my house than giving me a makeover, I sat wrapped in Gran's old beige afghan and started the movie.

As lucky a person as I am, I was half expecting something dreadful to happen the moment Pam was gone, such as a home invasion by hungry werewolves, a vengeful vampire threatening me or a serial killer pouncing through the window to perfect his MO on me, but apparently the twisted and crazies and supes had better things to do that night than to try and murder me. About ten minutes after Pam had disappeared to go get her stuff, she returned, her hands full of bags. I cocked a surprised eyebrow at her and paused the movie to help her set up her things.

'Pam can I ask you a few questions about Rhodes?' I asked her as she pushed me down on the couch, wrinkling aluminum paper as she pressed a strand of my hair on it, covering it with a foul smelling mixture.

'Sure, sweet pea.' She said.

'What is it really all about, Rhodes? Just a Vampire meeting?' I questioned her, turning my chin to gaze at her but she yanked my face back towards the movie as she carefully wrapped the first strand in the tin foil.

'Well not exactly.' She replied, mysteriously. I rolled my eyes. How so very Pam to be obnoxiously cryptic about everything.

'Care to elaborate?' I pressed, my eyes fixed on the screen. I hadn't exactly paid attention to the movie so far but I knew it by heart anyways and it provided some good background noise.

'Eric hasn't told you shit now has he? How very him…' She started to say but then hissed as I tried to turn to look at her. 'Stop moving or I'll bleach your nose, capiche? Now, Eric hasn't specifically told me to keep you in the dark on the Rhodes thing so I guess it's alright if I fill you in. First of all, not it is not just a Vampire meeting. Even the Magister cannot bring himself to wrap his head around the fact the Council was and never will be made exclusively of Vampires…'

'The Council? What the hell is that? Is it the same as the Authority?' Pam tsked in annoyance and I'm sure she rolled her eyes even though I couldn't see her face.

'He hasn't told you shit, really. I'll have to have a word with him about letting me do all the boring chores of filling you in. No the Authority and The Council ain't the same. The Authority is some new thing that appeared just a few centuries back and it's only made of Vampires. The role of the Authority is to decide upon matters that touch vampire business and vampire business only. As you might have noticed, there are other things than us out there… Even though we of course are the better of them all…' She added with a dramatic sigh. Of course, Pam, of course.

'By other things you mean shifters and weres? And witches and fairies I guess?' I asked her.

'And demons and elves and angels and…'

'Wait a minute, there are demons? Freaking demons?' I said, startled. I knew better than to whip my head around to gape at her as she'd probably have sprung my neck to continue working on my hair.

'Yes but they're no nearly as physically unattractive as your despicable religions depict them. In fact most of them are quite the tasty sight…'

'Is it a Supe thing to be hot and attractive and all?'

'You could say that. But I must admit I've never met an attractive ogre.' She droned. I giggled.

'Ogres, really?'

Pam ignored my last comment and continued.

'So, as I was saying, the Authority only deals with Vampire business regarding vampires and sometimes human, but whenever another Supe is concerned, then it is no longer the Authority's competence to deal with the shit storm. That's where the Council comes in. The Council has existed for thousands of years and its members are the oldest most powerful creatures on this planet. There are nine of them, all representing one of the master races.'

'Vampires, Weres, Shifters…'

'Fairies, Witches, Elves, Demons, Angels…' Pam supplied.

'But that only makes eight.'

'And the Prophet.' Pam said, yanking at a particularly reluctant strand of hair.

'The Prophet? What kind of a name is that?'

'The Prophet is human and immortal. And he or she is called the Prophet because he or she is the one who sees and knows all.'

My silence must have hinted Pam about the fact she might as well have been talking in Chinese right now for all the sense her words made.

'I say he or she because no one knows what the Prophet looks like. His or her decisions are made public through the Council and they're always in the form of letters. The whole point of the Prophet is to remain hidden. He or she is the one to take the final decisions when the other Supes cannot agree.' Pam said.

'Wow.' I muttered.

'Yes, wow. Our politics are a lot more complicated than they seem, Sookie. And if you stick around long enough you'll come to see Eric is much more important to this world than his position as Sheriff shows him to be. You should feel honoured one such as him has picked you of all the masses to be his.'

'Right, thanks Pam for reminding me time and time again just how pathetic and unworthy of his attentions I am.' I sneered. She was in my face the next second, her nose a mere inch from mine.

'Now you listen to me, little whiny brat. If he picked you, he must have his reasons. And I trust him entirely. But be sure that if you dishonour him or disrespect him or hurt him in any way, I'll take great pleasure in making you suffer to your last breath. If you're good, we can be the best of friends though.' She offered with a glacial smile. I swallowed hard before speaking.

'I have no intentions of betraying him in any way possible, Pam. Even though you might not comprehend that, I love him.' I admitted. Her eyes became slits and she studied my face before whooshing back around the couch to continue playing in my hair.

'Eric could have been King time and time again. Hell in a few hundred years he could apply to be the next Vampire member of the council if he so desired. With Russell and Godric gone, there remain very few vampires on the planet older than Eric. In fact there are only a handful of them. However, Eric never wanted all the trouble and visibility that came with being King. That's why he gave his approval when the Authority picked a new Queen for Louisiana half a century ago.'

'They asked for Eric's permission?' I asked, amazed.

'Of course. He's one of the oldest and most powerful Vampires of the United States, Sookie.' Pam said as though I was stupid for not knowing that already.

'Why do you say he's so powerful?'

'Eric has connections with very powerful Supes. Niall, for example.' Pam said.

'Niall? You know about Niall?'

'Not much, in fact I think you know more than me, but Eric has mentioned his name a few times. I think they met back in the 1300s during the Fae wars.'

'He's my great-grandfather.' I told her. She remained silent for a few seconds.

'I see.' She finally said. 'Anyhow, that explains a bit why you seem to create such an uproar in the Supe's world… Anyways, Eric is very important and very trusted and he could have been King time and time again even back in Europe, but he didn't want the trouble that came with the title. He values his freedom too much to tie himself to a title.'

'What about being Sheriff then?'

'No Vampire would want to have him in their Area if they became Sheriff. How do you suppose they'd make him obey?'

'The Queen did…' I mused.

'Sophie-Anne was an entirely other pair of sleeves. Anyways we're getting off subject. Eric accepted the title of Sheriff because of the income mainly. And because it isn't really a bother when one is smart enough to handle the job correctly. Now about Rhodes, it isn't just a regular Vampire meeting. It's going to be a huge meeting of all Supernatural beings and the Council is going to attend.'

'Shut up!' I muttered. Pam mustn't have been familiar with the expression because she pulled my hair a bit roughly and sighed.

'It's an expression, Pam.' I said as she released my hair, concentrating on the movie for the first time in the past twenty minutes.

'Why didn't Eric tell me all that?'

'Because Eric tends to get out of hand around you as it seems. He can't think straight. Yet I don't know what is worst: you being around him or you not being there. I swear he is insufferable when you're not around. You'll need to be at the best of your behavior in Rhodes, Sookie.' Pam warned.

'As if I wasn't already stressed enough about that…'

'You will never be stressed enough about that.' She sneered. 'In three hundred years I have never seen Eric so enamoured with a human or whatever it is you are and I don't like it one bit. It's not that I have something against you, actually I find you quite interesting, but Eric can't afford distraction, especially not with Felipe and his fucking dog Madden breathing down our necks. And in Rhodes, he'll be needing his head clear of worry so you better behave.'

'I promise you to do my best.' I said solemnly. And of course the moment those words passed my lips I realized it didn't really depend on my good-will for everything to go as planned, but more on the goodwill of the many people who wanted me dead or enslaved to them. But I'd do my best.

'Good.' Pam said.

It took at least two hours for Pam to be satisfied with the results and by the time she was done giving me what she called her Vampy Makeover, I must admit I looked rather pretty. She'd given me at least three different face masks and my skin was radiant (I suspected one of her masks to contain some vampire blood but I dared not ask as she was rather secretive about her stuff). My hair had three different tones of highlights all lighter than my hair color and she'd even had time to paint my toes and fingers in an elegant pale pink color. When she was through, I was positively exhausted and I politely asked her if she would mind me going to bed.

'You want me to join you?' She offered, playful. I rolled my eyes and suppressed a yawn before showing her where she'd be sleeping for the day.

'I can't believe Eric hasn't thought about making this more comfortable and appropriate. It's so Old World to sleep in the dirt… Guess I'll have to sleep on the nude… I haven't brought any track pants I can dirty up.' She sneered, eyeing the hidey hole with disgust.

'I can lend you some pyjamas if you like?' I offered, but somehow I just knew Pam wasn't going to like what pyjamas I could offer her. And she made a point of telling me.

'If this' she said, pinching the sleeve of my oversized football t-shirt with her crimson nails as her nose twitched with disgust 'is your idea of nightwear, than I must tell you I'd much rather sleep naked… This is positively hideous. You don't wear that with Eric now do you? I'm sure he finds it cute and adorable since it's you and he's gone all giddy-goody over anything that has to do with you, but he can't find that attractive… I so have to take you shopping before we hit Rhodes.' I managed to grumble a 'Whatever' before I crawled under the covers and rolled into a tiny ball to sleep. Leave it to Pam to clean up the mess she'd done in the living room with all her bottles and sprays and creams and pots. It's not like it would take her very long with vampire speed and all.

I was rather surprised when I realised I was dreaming. It started out as a normal dream, like the ones induced by drinking Eric's blood. I was in bed with him, only it wasn't my bed, nor his. It was a random bed, one your mind creates to fill in the gaps of a reality that isn't. And we were fooling around and it was just great. But then I heard voices in the next room.

'I'll be right back, darling.' I said to Eric and he simply nodded. And that's when I realized we were in a room in broad daylight and the sun bathing the entire room started burning him and he simply rolled over laughing. I was about to comment on the fact he was burning but then I heard the voices in the other room once more and simply dismissed the fact his hair was literally on fire. I walked out of the strange bedroom completely naked and arrived in a strange living room which looked quite classy and had a definite air of familiarity, as if I'd been there before, which was stupid really because I'd never seen it. At one end of the room, sitting behind a long table draped in black velvet were nine people, nine Supes, I should say. I guessed they were the Council and frowned as I'd never seen them before. The one in the middle was draped from head to toe and I couldn't tell how she or he looked and I assumed it was the infamous Prophet. At the other end of the room, on the couch was Haldley and she was talking on the phone, completely oblivious to the fact there were nine strangers in her living room. And then there was a knock at the door and she stood with vampire speed and opened the door and there was a figure outside, someone cloaked that I couldn't see and the cloaked figure grabbed Hadley by the throat and ripped her head off in a swift move. I yelled and stepped back in horror and then Claudine appeared in the corner and started moping Hadley's remains and she tsk-tsk at me. The table with the nine people had vanished and I was in my kitchen but Hadley's blood was everywhere.

'Sookie, Sookie, Sookie… what have you done?' She asked me. And then Bill came in the room from the same door I'd passed through and he was holding my Merlotte's uniform in his hands and he tossed it to me.

'Time to go to work, dear.' He said. Except it wasn'st his voice. It was Eric's. And then I was back in bed with Eric and the room was now dark. And Eric rolled over with a smile on his face and he cupped my face with his big hands.

'Aren't you a doll.' He said. And I realized my cheeks were wet. And I looked at his hands and they were full of blood and when I looked up, it wasn't Eric anymore. It was Madden and he was holding a knife.

'Goodnight, sweetpie.' He hissed and stabbed me.

And then I woke up. I was trembling like a leaf and was thankful the sun was up. I was covered in sweat and my beautiful new hair was all matted on my head from all my tossing and turning. This had been the most horrible dream I'd had in months. I breathed slowly in and out, my eyes fixed on the ceiling before pulling down the covers and slipping out of bed. I checked the time. It was close to eight in the morning. I'd only slept about four hours and I felt terrible. I had a slight headache and I knew the day would be long. I was only expected at work at around ten so I had plenty of time to linger in the shower, shaving my legs and taking care of my hair. As much as I hated to admit it, Pam's highlights were really beautiful and I was happy she'd pampered me. I pulled on my Merlotte's uniform and opted for a half ponytail today to show off my new hair. I put on just a bit of makeup as I'd come back to get changed for the pack meeting and would decide then on something more appropriate.

After a quick breakfast, I walked out of the house, making sure that all the doors were locked. As promised, my car was in the driveway. On the backseat of my car was a box with a big velvety black bow on it. I opened it and found a note tucked inside the tissue paper.

So you'll think of me tonight. I'll see you after the meeting and we can put these to good use.

Love,

E

I blushed when I saw what he'd gotten me. It was the skimpiest lingerie ensemble I'd ever seen, all in dark burgundy lace and transparent gauze which left absolutely nothing to the imagination. There was the garter belt and the matching bra and panty set. I grinned slightly at how beautiful the ensemble was even though is was a rather naughty gift and texted him a thank you as he was probably resting for the day.

Work was rather dull and we didn't have too many customers. The day whooshed by and by four, I was out and on my way home. Alcide had been informed by Eric that he wouldn't be allowed to pick me up until Pam was awake and since the sun was only going to set in an hour or so, I took my time to pamper and shower. I had no idea how one dressed for a Pack meeting of this importance but I thought I should wear something elegant. I was almost done blow drying my hair when Pam emerged in my bedroom. She looked positively radiant even though she looked annoyed.

'Don't you look cute.' She sneered. I took in the sight of her. She was dressed in an elegant black pencil skirt and pink blouse and her makeup was quite low key compared to the flamboyance I was used to from her Fangtasia attires.

'Thank you.' I muttered. I checked my reflection in the mirror and noticed Pam's nose twitching.

'The dog is here.' She whined.

I rolled my eyes and we descended the stairs to greet Alcide. He immediately tensed when he saw Pam.

'You look ravishing.' He said to me, smiling tightly. Pam cocked a bored eyebrow at him. 'You're looking good too, Pam.' He said, gesturing for us to come out with him on the porch. Pam passed in front of me and eyed the surroundings seriously before allowing me on the porch.

'I take it you know your instructions. If anything happens to her, you're as good as dead, were. Are we clear?' Pam growled at him. Alcide frowned and nodded. I gave him a small smile.

Is she always that pleasant to hang out with? He thought at me, looking at Pam as she twitched her nose in disgust at his truck.

'It's her Pam charm.' I said, chuckling. And in the truck we climbed. Pam insisted on me sitting with her on the back seat as if Alcide would take advantage of me sitting in the front to get me pregnant with many of his furry babies. Go figure what went on in Pam's mind… The ride was rather tense since everytime Alcide tried to make small talk with me, Pam would throw him a death glare through the rearview mirror. We managed to get all the way to Jackson anyhow and I started to feel jittery the moment we entered the outskirts of the much bigger town. Somehow, I knew the night was not going to be all pleasant and fun.

'On with the show.' Pam muttered when the truck finally jerked to a stop in front of an old abandoned werehouse.

And once again, Pam was dead on with her comment.