"The knife, I got it for my mother, but that's a story for another day. The wings…I got them for Farlan." Levi says quietly while Eren runs his hands through his hair. They are both awake, but Levi's head is still on Eren's chest, and he's warm, voice softer than usual as he tells Eren about his tattoos. "He's the one who built the hotel, you know. I mean, I funded it, but he was there every step of the way. He wanted us to have something legit to leave the kids. Hell, he was the one who took care of Falco when he was a baby, while I was busy wrecking havoc on the streets. He died before the hotel was completed, and I used the wings as the hotel's logo, and Isabel's last name as the hotel's name."
Eren traces the tattoo on the back of Levi's shoulder without seeing it. This Farlan must have been really important to Levi, and he can't help feel a bit jealous that he gets to be marked permanently on Levi's skin. As if Eren has any right to be jealous.
"What about you? What's the bird for? You didn't have it last time."
"It's a dove." Eren tells him. "I got it after I got discharged from the army. It was at a time when all the family responsibilities fell on me in the absence of Zeke and my father. I just felt suffocated by everything you know, and this tattoo…I got it to remind myself that every choice I made was my own." He breathes. "That I am free."
"Are you?" Levi asks looking up at him.
"I'm trying to be, but I'm shackled by my dad's will. I think he was trying to punish Zeke in his will…or maybe he thought he was doing what's best for Zeke, but in the end, that punishment has been inflicted on me." He sighs. "Five more years, then I'll be free."
Levi doesn't ask, maybe he can see that Eren does not want to talk about it. Instead, what cuts the moment short is Eren's phone ringing. He groans when he has to let go of Levi, sit up, and reach for his discarded phone on the floor. His heart lurches when he sees the caller ID.
It's Mikasa.
Of course it is. She always calls in the morning. Either Levi is a psychic or he sees the guilt that shows on Eren's face, because he gets out of bed, and picks up Eren's clothes from the floor. "Answer it. I'll put your clothes in the washer." He says, his back to Eren. "I'll be in the shower, so…I won't hear anything."
The lie is on the top of Eren's tongue. He wants to say that it isn't Mikasa, that it's Armin, and he'll call him back later. But then he remembers his promise to Levi the previous night, and says nothing even as the ringing stops.
He calls her back when he hears the water in the bathroom running. She wishes him good morning, he asks if she slept well. She tells him that she's just getting home from pulling an all nighter at work with Sasha. Eren berates her for working too hard. She smiles and says she's working overtime to help increase their budget for the wedding, (And Eren feels like shit because she's trying so hard and he's with someone else right now.) which reminds her, has he asked Levi if they can have their wedding at his hotel yet? Eren lies, as usual, he says no, he has yet to see Levi and ask him. He cuts the conversation short, telling her to get some sleep.
Levi doesn't say much after his shower, only telling Eren that his clothes are in the dryer, and to wait a bit. So Eren also says he will take a shower.
"Eren." Levi says looking determinedly at his white dress shirt, and not at Eren. "What is this?"
"A shirt." Eren quips.
Levi turns to him with a scowl. "Don't play dumb, you idiot. You know what I mean."
He sighs. "What do you want it to be? I like being with you, and last night was fucking wonderful. Like I said, I like to be free, and you…you make me feel like I'm flying, like everything that's holding me down is meaningless, like there's only you."
Levi looks away from him. "Tch. So fucking cheesy, what are you a high school girl? Go take a shower, you stink."
But Eren smiles because he saw that slight flush of red on the pale skin of his face.
"Thanks for not leaving." Levi's quiet voice carries into the bathroom.
-
By the time Eren's clothes dry and he is able to go to the dining room, breakfast is served, and Levi, Colt and Falco are already at the table. Eren tries to act normal, he is not doing the walk of shame, no way.
"Morning Mr Yeager." Falco smiles at him, and Eren smiles back, taking the seat next to him.
"Good morning Falco. Morning Colt." He says.
"Still here, huh?" Colt mutters, and Levi shoots him a look. He rolls his eyes, then addresses Eren with exaggerated politeness. "Good morning. I made breakfast, help yourself."
"Thank you." Eren also responds with mock politeness. Falco giggles, Levi narrows his eyes.
He pours some orange juice and takes two slices of bread and eggs. He eats in silence while the others make mundane conversation.
Hes not prepared for the moment Levi turns his attention on him and frowns. "Eren, don't tell me you just removed your clothes from the dryer and put them on? Did you even iron that T-shirt?"
Eren looks down at himself. "It looks fine. Doesn't it, Falco?" He asks defensively.
"Yeah, it does." Falco agrees.
"How? It looks like a fucking horse chewed it up and spit it out!" Levi shakes his head.
Eren can't help but giggle to himself as he imagines Jean chewing up his shirt and spitting it out. Meanwhile Falco holds out his hand to Levi reminding him that he just swore, and Levi mutters something under his breath before giving him ten credits.
"Well, I should get going, I still need to request an Uber to take me to school." Colt stands up.
"Serves you right for giving your car to Ymir." Levi tells him. "I'm not buying you another one."
Colt sighs, "She asked to borrow it. How was I supposed to know she wouldn't return it? Besides, I'll be able to afford one of my own soon, coach said there'd be scouts at my next game."
"Really? That's great!" Falco beams.
"Yeah, so I gotta go. Get some practice done before class."
"Uh wait. By school, do you mean Trost University?" Eren asks, by chance.
"Yeah?"
"I can give you a lift if you want. My first class is in about an hour." Eren offers.
Colt blinks, then looks at Levi for permission, but Levi merely shrugs. "Sure. Thanks. Let me get my stuff." Colt says.
"Yeah." Eren stands up. He hesitates, but then goes to Levi's side, and kisses him on the cheek. "I'll…I'll call you, okay?"
"You better." Levi looks at him sternly.
-
The ride to the university is quiet at first, neither of them saying anything as Eren drives to the destination.
"This is a nice car." Colt says quietly.
"Oh. Thanks." Says Eren not taking his eyes off the road.
"How do you afford it if you are a student?"
Ah, so this is an interrogation then? Eren's lip upturns, but he plays along. "My dad gave it to me when I turned seventeen."
"Hmm, and how old are you now?"
"25."
Colt smirks, "Levi's 38, you know. He's turning 39 this year."
Eren's grip tightens on the steering wheel. "Holy shit!" He gasps. Granted, he's known that Levi is much older than him, and in his thirties, but he'd always assumed he was about the same age as Zeke, around 33. Eren doesn't really mind the age gap, but it does put Levi's reluctance into perspective. "He doesn't look it."
"I guess not. Anyway, if your family's well off, then that means you're not with him for his money." Colt watches him. "Spill it, what's wrong with you?"
Damn, the university cannot be close enough for Eren, who wants this conversation to just be over. "Why should there be something wrong with me?"
"Because Levi has shit luck in men. Now, are you straight?" He asks him.
"What? Not that it's any of your business, but I am bisexual." Eren turns the corner, anxious to arrive, now that they are close.
"Okay. Then don't tell me you're dying?"
Eren shoots him an incredulous look.
"Good, not dying then." Colt approves. "Are you a drug addict? Or are are you mentally unstable? Are you married? Are you-?" Colt stops because Eren reacts to his last question.
He supposes in a way that Colt is right about there being something wrong with him.
"Oh my God, you're married!" He says in disbelief.
"It's complicated." Eren mutters, finally turning and going into the university.
"No, you're either married or you're not. Listen, Levi must trust you, otherwise he wouldn't let you near Falco. I'll respect his judgment on that." Colt says to him once he parks the car. "Just do me a favour, okay? If you're going to leave anyway, don't get close to Falco, he gets attached easily."
Eren can't help but smile, "Falco is lucky to have a good brother like you." Unlike Eren, whose brother never protected him, never spared him a thought.
"W-whatever. Thanks for the ride." Colt mutters, getting out of the car.
All in all, Eren considers the morning a success. Which is something that he can't say for the rest of the day. Shardis calls him into his office to inform him that, big surprise, he's failed his core module. It is no surprise that he fails to concentrate on the rest of his classes, stress eating him up. He'd told his mom that he was taking care of it, and he hadn't even told Mikasa he was having trouble with that class.
It's late at night, and to no one's surprise Eren is drowning himself in alcohol at Annie's bar on the outskirts of Trost city. Eren likes it here, it's quiet, not a lot of people are here, and they are all keeping to themselves. He sits at the bar while Annie pours him another beer. He's procrastinating. He has an important test next week for another core module, and he honestly could not care less. Just thinking about it makes him sick.
"Don't throw up on my counter." Annie warns him.
"It's not like anyone would mind. This place is dead anyway." Eren mutters.
"If you're so bored, what are you doing here?" She asks pointedly.
Eren sighs. He's here because he's confused and guilty and lost. Just for a moment, he wants some peace and quiet where he doesn't have to think about his failures. "I'm dealing with some shit right now, okay?"
"Does this have anything to do with the call I got from Reiner last week, asking if you and Mikasa broke up?" Annie asks, wiping a glass clean behind the counter.
"What?"
She shrugs. "He said he saw you making out with Levi Ackerman. 'Course, I didn't care to get the details because I hung up on him. Why the hell does he keep calling me anyway?"
Eren's eyes snap up in shock. Of course Reiner saw him, he was at the club that day after all. And if Annie knows, then it won't be long before Armin does too.
Fuck.
"So, are you gonna continue drinking beer, or am I actually going to make money tonight?" Annie asks him, when Eren has his face in his hands.
"Give me your strongest shit." He mutters.
"And have you puking on my counter? No. I'll make something strong enough though." She busies herself mixing the drinks, and Eren downs his entire beer.
"Are you going to tell Armin?" Eren asks her when she sets a red cocktail in front of him.
"I'm not going to lie to him for you. But this is none of my business, so I won't say anything unless he asks." She tells him.
Annie has always been rather…odd, in Eren's opinion. She's got a scary face too, but Eren's not going to tell her that because he knows that she can kick his ass to oblivion if she wants to. He has never been able to understand her, but she can be nice when she wants to be. Besides, Eren has another reason for coming here tonight . Jean has been bugging him about Reiner and he has to face this issue. He doesn't want to make the same mistakes that he made with Marco, with Levi.
"Annie, why'd you join the military?" He asks, and she pauses from putting a bottle back on the shelf. "I know that Reiner and Berthold joined to escape from the Marley gang, but they seem to have gone back there. And you, you never seemed to care about leaving the gang back then, but now you have. I'm just wondering why you joined."
She looks down. "I joined for the same reason that you did."
"That makes no sense, I joined for….Armin." He realises. "But you guys only got together four years ago. You're telling me that you've been in love with him for over eight years?"
Annie turns to look at him. "You wouldn't understand, you don't know what it's like to be the one who loves more in a relationship."
The cocktail is both bitter and sweet to Eren's mouth, unlike Annie's words. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"You take the people who love you for granted Eren. Mikasa has loved you since she was a kid, yet you dated Marco to push her away, and now you're cheating on her. Marco only got with you because he needed some comfort since he was in love with his straight best friend, that arrangement was fine for you, but the moment he started falling for you, you distanced yourself, and then you just abandoned him, no goodbyes." She has a dry smile on her face as she continues. "And now you've got a monster like Levi Ackerman agreeing to be your side chick or whatever? That guy is a brutal bastard, so he must really like you."
What she is saying makes some sense, but Eren is sick of being judged. Why are people telling what he's supposed to be feeling? He knows it in his heart, and he's going to do what he wants. His love isn't enough for Mikasa? His affection wasn't enough for Marco? And now his feelings aren't enough for Levi? Fuck them all, he's going to do what he wants for once without considering their feelings.
"Shut the fuck up and pour me another drink." He barks at her. Good, he's starting to feel the alcohol, finally.
Perhaps to spite him for his rudeness, Annie mixes the next one excruciatingly slowly.
"Who are you to judge me anyway? Why do you even like Armin? You two are so different!" Eren asks her.
The answer she gives him is unexpected. "Because he called me a good person."
"What?"
She smiles at the incredulous look on his face, a sad smile. "He knows everything that I've done. All the people I've betrayed, the people I've hurt….the people I've killed… But he still looks me in the eye, and calls me a good person. I left Marley because, I guess I don't want to make Armin a liar."
She is being genuine, Eren realises. She really loves him. He recalls his conversation with Armin the other day, when he'd asked Armin why the two of them were in an open relationship. He wonders if Annie's answer will be different, if it will help him deal with his own relationship crisis.
"If you love him so much, why aren't you two satisfied with each other?"
She sets a new glass in front of him. "Because we both want more. There are parts of him I don't understand, he's too smart for me sometimes, and I want him to have someone he connects to intellectually. As for me, Armin's too kind to me. I mean, I need that kindness, I live off it, but sometimes, I want to be punished. I also want someone who will tell me what an absolute piece of shit I am. If we ever find someone we both like, who fits all those boxes, then we'll finally stop searching."
Huh. It is pretty similar to what Armin said. Eren takes a sip of his drink. That's weird, his vision is already starting to blur, how much alcohol did she put in his drink? "Damn, I didn't know that you were a masochist, Annie."
"Screw you." She flips him off, and goes to help another customer.
Halfway through the third cocktail, Eren's starting to feel dizzy. He might pass out any moment now, so it is time to be impulsive.
"Annie." He calls.
"I'm not making you another drink." She warns. "You're done."
"It's not…not that, um…can I ask you something?" He's aware that his words are slurred.
"What?" She asks irritably.
Eren swallows, then asks softly, "What happened to Marco?"
He sees her face pale, and she looks down. "It's been three years, why are you asking now?"
"Levi's helping me to… face things, I guess. And it doesn't help that Jean's been pestering me. Just tell me, Annie, what happened on that final mission that you, Reiner, Berthold and Marco went on? " He says.
"It's classified."
"Stop the bullshit excuses Annie, just tell me."
"Ask Reiner."
"I'm asking you."
The colour still hasn't returned to her face yet. "Ask Reiner. He was the ranking officer on that mission."
"Annie!"
"Give me your phone." She holds out her hand. Suspicious, Eren unlocks his phone and gives it to her. She takes it, then returns it a few moments later. "I've put Reiner's number on there. Call him. I've also requested an Uber for you."
"Thanks." Eren says, not sure what he's thanking her for. She's not easily rattled, but this issue seems to affect her greatly, and Eren wants to know why.
Eren calls Levi this time.
And then he goes home, because he's guilty and is overcompensating. He listens to his mother talking Mikasa's ear off about the wedding outfits, and he pretends to be listening, nodding when it's appropriate, until finally, his mother goes to sleep.
"Did you talk to Levi?" Mikasa asks, when it's just the two of them in the living room.
"What?" Eren's heart jumps in his throat. "Um, not yet, I've been busy."
Yeah, busy trying to find a way to ask the guy that he's sleeping with if he can marry his cousin at his hotel. No big deal.
"Look, Onyankopon wants an answer by Monday regarding the venue so that we can allocate the budget. If you can't ask, I'll talk to uncle Kenny and-" Mikasa starts.
"No." Eren says at once, fidgeting and not looking at Mikasa. "I'll see him tomorrow. I'll ask him then."
"Okay." She sits up on the couch and watches him. "Eren…" she hesitates.
"What?" He looks down at her, and he sees her sigh. "What's wrong?"
"You…you're being distant." She mutters.
Ah, right. Of course. He hasn't touched her since the night he came home after he kissed Levi. It isn't because he doesn't want to. It's just, complicated. He reaches over, and places an arm around her shoulders. "I'm sorry. I'm dealing with a lot right now."
"Is it the wedding? Is your mom suffocating you with her plans and ideas?" She asks.
Eren wishes that was all. He makes a decision, "There's something that I need to tell you. Don't be mad that I kept it a secret, okay? Promise?"
She sits up, catching his serious tone, "What is it?"
"Remember the time Armin and I were fighting?" He takes a deep breath. "The truth is, he was trying to help me….I failed a class, Mika, a core module, so that means…"
Her face falls slightly, "Another additional year of school?"
"I'm sorry, Mika. I tried, I really did, but I couldn't make it. This means pushing things back, we'll have to wait to have kids too. This means that we'll have to pull our funds, again." He hates doing this to her.
"Okay. You want to postpone the wedding?" Her voice is level, betraying no emotion.
Yes. "No. I can't make you wait five years for me to finish… Lord knows I've kept you waiting long enough. Let's keep everything on schedule."
"I don't mind waiting."
"No." he shakes his head. "Let's do it now, okay?"
"Alright. Let's not use any of your money on the wedding. I've got enough savings, I'll do more overtime, Captain Nile will be grateful. Keep your money for the extra tuition." She nods her head.
And Eren is back to feeling inferior again. His money, isn't even his money. It's money that his father left him, and what kind of a man is he that keeps making Mikasa sacrifice herself for him? "I can't let you do that. I'll take a loan when the time comes. I don't want you to faint from overwork at your own wedding."
"Eren." She says, unsure.
He kisses her gently on the forehead. "I'll figure something out, don't worry."
Worst case scenario, he will have to give up his apartment in Trost city to save on rent. But that would mean less time to study if he has to drive from home to Trost and back everyday. It would also mean less time to see Levi.
Fuck.
Why is he thinking about Levi right now of all times? It's frustrating how even a genuine concern of how his marriage is going to work around his studies, is a gateway for Eren to think about Levi again. Right now, Eren can't help but think, God, Mikasa deserves better.
For the third time today, Eren finds himself on his back, on the floor with Levi on top of him. No, it's nothing quite that exciting , just him getting his ass handed to him by Levi all day. The two of them are in Levi's gym, practicing for Levi's next match next week. Even though Eren has known all along that Levi is stronger than him, it is a bit disheartening to be getting kicked around like this. And Eren can't shake the suspicion that Levi is still somehow holding back.
"Why are you trying so hard, anyway? You're super strong, your opponent probably can't even come close." Eren grumbles, sitting up.
"Mike is really strong, the fight is gonna be challenging for me. The title of Shiso is given to the strongest fighter, and I haven't lost it since I founded No Regrets. There's no way in hell I'm gonna lose with you watching." Levi says determinedly.
Eren is not sure exactly what the last sentence means, but he lets his cheeks heat up at those words, and he smiles, before flinching from the pain at his side.
"Get up, don't be a baby. Let's go again." Levi tells him sternly, and Eren groans.
He's been spending a lot of his free time with Levi, and it's been incredible. Levi is witty, grumpy and the king of sarcasm, and Eren finds that he really likes those qualities in him, among many, many others. Still he hopes Levi appreciates him taking time out of his day to help him practice. He could be studying right now, for a test that he has next week, but he's here. Actually he should be studying but here he is.
In truth, though, Eren wants to butter him up a little bit because he has to ask him about having his wedding here, at the hotel, which is not an easy subject to broach. Eren would blow it off and tell Mikasa that Levi said no, but honestly, Mikasa and Kenny have gotten pretty close, and Kenny would surely ask Levi about it.
No sooner has Eren stood up than Levi sweeps his leg, making him stumble back, nearly falling. He puts his arms up, guarding his face, trying not to let Levi's attacks through, but he misreads him, and ends up on the floor again because Levi kicks him in the shin.
"Shit."Eren curses, as Levi looks over him in satisfaction.
"That was alright but Mike is bigger than you, so I'll need more power. Let me do it again."
Before Eren can point out how unfair this all is, the door to the gym opens and a familiar young woman steps through it. Both Levi and Eren look up as she observes them with raised eyebrows.
"Petra said I'd find you here training, but it looks to me like you're just fooling around." The girl, Ymir, smirks.
"I told her not to let anyone up to this floor." Levi frowns in annoyance as he helps Eren to stand up.
"I insisted." Ymir shrugs, turning her eyes to Eren. "So, this is your new boy toy everybody's talking about. Jesus Levi, hes way too young, is he even older than Colt? Damn how old is this kid?"
Rude.
"Older than you, bitch." Eren snaps, not liking her attitude.
Her face contorts with fury. "The fuck you just call me?" She asks, moving aggressively towards him.
"Enough." Levi steps between them. "You're here for Historia right? I moved her to room 207. Have you found a safe place for her yet?"
"This is the safest place for her. You're here." She says, looking back at Levi.
"I don't want my hotel getting attacked by Marley again." Levi warns.
"That ship sailed long ago. They know that you're the one who saved her." Ymir snorts, going out the door. "See you around Boytoy."
Eren scowls after her.
"Alright, you know what, let's wrap it up. I still have to meet with Eld later. Thanks for helping me out, Eren." Levi sighs.
He's ready to leave, and Eren decides that there's never going to be a good time to ask about the venue, so he might as well do it now. "Hey, Levi…can I ask you something?"
"Sure, what?"
Eren hesitates. "How much does it cost to host an event at this hotel? How much would the venue costs be?"
Nothing baffles Levi, but this question certainly does. "It's a hotel in the city centre, so a lot. Like 950 credits per head. Why?"
Yeah, this is definitely not within he and Mikasa's price range. "Oh, a lot, huh? Well, thanks." Eren says, and makes to leave, but Levi puts his arm out in front of him.
"Eren."
"It's nothing really, don't worry about it." He tries to brush it off. But then Levi stands in front of him, a frown on his face, and an intense, inquiring gaze watching him.
It is almost alarming how easy it is for Levi to overwhelm Eren, and at this moment, Eren finds himself looking down, sighing.
"Mikasa wants to have our wedding here." Eren says, not daring to look at Levi's face. He can't bear to see his reaction to those words.
There is a beat of silence, then Levi asks, in a quiet tone that just forces Eren to look at him. His shoulders are slumped, eyes facing forward, but betraying no emotion, even though Eren can see that they seem more downcast than usual.
"So, you've set a date." It's a statement, not a question, but Eren answers anyway, scrambling for an explanation.
"I…I was going to tell you, we met with our wedding planner a couple of weeks ago and-"
"Two weeks?"
"I-"
Levi turns away, cutting him off. "It's okay, Eren, you don't owe me anything." He says, hand on the door.
Eren quickly wraps his arms around Levi's waist from the back, trapping his small frame against Eren's larger one. Levi is tense for a moment, before his body relaxes into Eren.
"I'm sorry." Eren says, kissing the back of Levi's head. "I didn't wanna ask this of you…"
"But you still asked." Levi answers. "Because she wanted you to."
"I'm sorry." Eren says again, holding Levi even tighter, afraid that he's going to slip out of his hands.
"Are you? Everyone, all my friends, think we're together. What am I supposed to tell them?" Levi asks, voice rising. "I don't have a fucking clue what I am to you, and you know what, that's fine…I'm the one who asked you to stay with me. I just…I feel like any time I close my eyes, I could open them and you'd be gone."
"I'm not going anywhere." Eren whispers to him, and he feels Levi shudder against him.
"Don't lie to me Eren." He says, then he shifts in Eren's arms, turning around to face him, Eren's arms still around his waist. "Fine, have it here, free of charge." Levi raises his arm, and places his hand on the back of Eren's head, pulling him down, so that their foreheads are touching. Levi's eyes are downcast, as he says the next painful words. "If I do this for you, will you stay by my side?"
Something inside Eren gets shaken up at seeing Levi like this. This strong, confident man reduced to this, because Eren can't make a fucking decision. He thinks he can understand a bit about what Annie meant when she said that he had no idea how it felt like to be the one who loved more.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Those are the only words that Eren can breathe.
"That's all you ever say." A quick smile settles on Levi's lips. "Make it up to me instead."
"Anything." Eren means it.
"My crazy friend wants to meets you, because Petra and Erwin can't keep their fucking mouths shut. Wanna meet them?" Levi asks.
That doesn't sound like enough of a thing to make it up to him for. "That's it? I mean sure…"
"Good. Their birthday party is on Saturday evening, come by my house at 5, we'll go together." Levi says.
"Wait…" Eren hesitates. "In a public place?"
Levi rolls his eyes, "You kissed me in the middle of a crowd Eren. No one will know you there, don't worry."
It is still risky, though, but Eren owes Levi, and if meeting his friends is the way to go, then Eren will do it. There's surprisingly little that he wouldn't do to make Levi happy.
"Sure, let's do it." Eren smiles.
Eren is prepared for Levi to chew him out for being late, as it is almost 6PM when he rushes out of his car to meet a very cross Levi standing at his front door.
"I'm sorry I'm late." Eren apologises preemptively, approaching Levi.
Levi looks ready to snap at him, that is, until he actually catches sight of Eren. His usually cold gray eyes come alive as he drinks in Eren's appearance today. He is wearing tapered black plants, complete with a pressed dark green long sleeved button up shirt. His hair is tied into a neat bun, and combed down.
Admittedly, he's only wearing the bun because Levi said he liked it.
"Ok." Levi strides over to him, eyes not leaving him for a second as he continues watching Eren hungrily. "I have half a mind to strip you right now, and lay you bare on my bed. You can't do this to me Eren, fuck, you look amazing."
"Thanks, you look good yourself." Eren blushes, but he means it.
Levi takes Eren's hand, and opens the small box that he's holding, to reveal a brand new watch. "Maybe this will help you to keep the time." He says fastening the black watch around Eren's wrist.
"Levi…"Eren says speechlessly, bringing up the hand so he can look at the watch, then he frowns. "This is a Harry Winston watch."
"I know. I bought it." Levi raises his eyebrows.
"I can't accept this, it costs more than my car." Eren states, although it is a beautiful watch.
"You want me to buy you a car instead?" Levi frowns.
"No! No. It's a bit much, it's not even my birthday." Eren tells him, eyes going back to the watch.
"Typically, when someone gives you a gift, you say thank you. Learn some manners kid. Come on, let's go." Levi says heading to his car, not taking Eren's no for an answer.
"I…thank you." Eren says, following after him, and Levi smiles.
-
By the time they arrive at the sports bar, it is already full of people roaming around. The interior design throws Eren off for a second. For one, everyone is wearing some variation of black, and there is a large picture of a smiling person in the centre table, two wreaths around the photo stand. Behind the wreaths, is a giant cross cake. There's an open bar on one side, and tables and chairs to sit on the other side, with a buffet meal.
"Um, I thought we were coming to a birthday party, this looks like a wake?" Eren asks Levi in confusion, as they walk in.
"Oh, did I fail to mention that my friend is crazy? They are turning forty and decided to go all out." Levi shrugs.
"Oh, Levi! You're finally here." Someone says, and they both turn to see Erwin arriving with another blond man next to him. "With Eren."
"Hi, Erwin. Yes, as you can see, Eren's with me." Levi says. "Mike, how are you?"
Erwin shakes Eren's hand enthusiastically, and Mike nods to Levi before, erm, sniffing Eren?
"Don't mind him. He just likes sniffing people then smirking." Erwin explains to Eren.
Ah. Right. So, Levi's friends are odd. Eren doesn't know why he does it, but he casually drapes his arm around Levi's shoulders. Maybe it's because he's still not 100% convinced that Levi and Erwin are just friends. Levi doesn't push Eren away, instead, he leans into him. Eren's heart swells.
Erwin raises his eyebrows.
"Where is Hange?" Levi asks, looking around.
"Preparing to make a dramatic entrance, according to a very distressed Moblit." Erwin says with a smile.
"Oh boy." Levi sighs, accepting two glasses of wine from a waiter dressed like an undertaker. He hands one glass to Eren, who accepts it gracefully.
"So, I hear you two are fighting on Tuesday ? Maybe I should come watch too. I haven't been to No Regrets in a while." Erwin says to Levi and Mike.
Oh, so it is this Mike that Levi's supposed to fight. He looks vaguely familiar, perhaps Eren had seen him fight Zeke or something. He downs his glass of wine, and grabs another.
"No need to sully your reputation by setting foot in a criminal hangout, Your Honour." Levi says sipping his wine.
Mike grunts. Can he not speak? Eren wonders.
"Oh that? I turned down the city's offer to be a judge. I find conventional jobs like that unchallenging and frankly boring." Erwin says seriously.
"Are you fucking insane? Erwin, people would kill for an offer like that! First you said conventional relationships are unchallenging and monotonous, now being a judge is boring?" Levi asks. "You realise you're a deviant, right?"
"Hmph," Erwin snorts. "There's nothing wrong with trying to find someone that I can connect to on an intellectual level, or someone interesting, at the very least, someone with a past as colourful as yours, Levi." He says. "And it takes one deviant to know another, you know."
"Good evening, everyone!" A loud voice says from the stage, interrupting the conversation. It's Petra. "Please gather up and welcome the birthday person, they're coming."
Eren holds his half empty wine glass as everyone turns to face the door, singing 'Happy Birthday'. To Eren's surprise, four men are coming in holding a large brown coffin on their shoulders, as everyone sings.
"Oh fuck no." Levi says in an exasperated tone while Erwin laughs.
The men place the coffin on the table next to the wreaths. As soon as it is placed down, a person literally bursts out of the coffin screaming in a loud voice. "I'M ALIVE EVERYONE!" They scream. "Hahah! Life begins at forty bitches!"
The person is dressed in all white. White pants, white top, hair tied back and a white eyepatch over one eye. Everyone chants "HANGE! HANGE! HANGE!" as the music is turned up, and Hange starts dancing on the table, nearly trampling over the large cross necklace.
"Gotta say, they really outdid themselves this time." Erwin smiles while the guests throw lilies at Hange as they go around greeting them and laughing with the guests. Mike nods in agreement, but Levi massages his temple and grabs another drink.
"Let's go eat something." Levi says, and Eren goes with him, his arm still around him. It doesn't take long for Hange to find the two of them before they can get a table.
"Levi!" They scream enveloping him in a bear hug, separating him from Eren, whom they don't seem to notice. "You came! I thought you hated parties!"
"Yeah well, it's your birthday." He says stiffly, pushing Hange away. "Happy death and rebirth, I guess."
"Thank you. Isn't this party awesome? You want me to plan your 40th next year?" They ask, waving the half empty bottle of champagne in their hand around.
"No thanks." Levi grimaces. "Here. Happy birthday." He hands an envelope to them. "That's just the receipt, the item will be delivered to your lab next week."
A shocked but delighted expression overwhelms Hange's face when they look at the contents of the envelope. "Levi, you bought me Isle Industries' latest reflection matrix miscoscope?"
"Yeah well, you kept bitching about how old your current ones are, and you love Isle industries' products, so I figured having at least one good ass microscope ought to shut you up." Levi speaks crudely, as usual, but Eren can see shades of pink on his neck.
"Oh! Levi! You actually listen to me! I love you!" Hange grabs him again, this time kissing his cheek.
Eren clears his throat in annoyance.
Hange finally lets Levi go, and looks at Eren. They are suddenly right in front of him, studying his face intensely before breaking into a wide smile. "You must be Eren!" They shake Eren's whole body enthusiastically. "I'm Hange Zoe. Levi's best friend."
"That is not true."
They ignore Levi's interjection in favour of studying Eren's face. "Oh my! Levi was right, your eyes are quite fascinating. It's like I'm looking at a mixture of teal, turquoise and emerald." They are looking unashamedly at Eren's eyes. "Say, you wouldn't mind if I were to ask you to come to the lab so we can study exactly what colour your eyes-"
"Hange!" Levi warns.
Eren wonders if it would be rude for him to tell Hange that they are too close to him, and to please move.
"Ah, right. Sorry. Anyway, Eren, dear, our Levi looks tough, but he's rather fragile here." They place their hand on the left side of Eren's chest, then whisper in his ear so that Levi can't hear. "Kindly don't break his heart, if you do, my colleagues and I will dissect your body in our drug related experiments and I will personally send Levi your pretty eyes as a new decoration for his house."
That is an oddly specific threat, and Eren can't help but shiver even as Hange smiles, and goes back to talking to Levi.
"What the hell is that bitch doing here?" Levi says suddenly, looking behind Hange.
Eren's body goes cold when he follows Levi's eyes, and it's not just because he sees an expressionless Annie drinking champagne there, nor is it because this is the second time he's heard someone refer to Annie this way, no, it's because right next to Annie in a pressed blue shirt, stands Armin.
"Oh! Armin!" Hange calls to him. "Come up here!"
Eren has no time to escape, or warn Levi or do anything really, before Armin is coming towards them, Annie in tow.
"This is the new doctor that I hired, Levi. His name is Armin, and he is a certified genius, I mean, he made a breakthrough discovery in his first week!" Hange shakes her head as Armin comes to stand next to her.
His eyes go wide when he sees Eren, and even Annie shows some surprise.
"Armin this is my friend Levi and his boyfriend, Eren." Hange introduces them, and Eren's world crashes down into pieces.
Levi must sense Eren's distress, because he gives him a concerned look, and takes his hand, which is the wrong thing to do because Armin's baffled expression suddenly turns incredulous and disbelieving when he sees their joined hands. Annie taps him lightly on the arm, and Armin rights his face.
"I know him, actually. Eren's my best friend." Armin says to Hange, face unreadable. "I'm just surprised to see him here, with Levi."
Levi, it seems, finally catches on, and attempts to let Eren's hand go, but at this point, the damage is done, and honestly, Eren doesn't know if he can keep standing without Levi's hand supporting him.
"Ah, yeah, fancy meeting you here, Armin." The words come out, and Eren is aware that he's saying them, but he's hyperventilating right now. "I didn't know that your new boss is Hange."
"Small world. Eren and I grew up together." Armin says through gritted teeth. He's angry, and rightfully so, after all, Mikasa is his friend.
"Wonderful!" Hange says obliviously. "To think you two are so close."
"Armin. Why don't you and Eren find a table for us to sit." Annie says quietly, her hand still on Armin's arm. She's giving them time and space to talk.
"Yeah, sure." Armin turns around and starts walking away.
"Eren, I'm…" sorry, Levi's eyes say, as Eren lets his hand go, following Armin.
-
"It's not what it looks like, Armin." Eren says as soon as they are out of earshot of people.
"No?" Armin looks livid. "Because it looks like you're cheating on your fiancée with your ex!"
Eren rubs his neck, "Technically, Levi and I didn't actually date…"
The look Armin gives him makes Eren snap back to reality. If Armin tells Mikasa, it will ruin everything that Eren has worked so hard to protect and to keep. If he tells Eren to leave Levi, that would destroy the very thing that is currently making Eren happiest.
"Eren, what the hell are you doing?"
"I… don't judge me, okay? You said yourself that I'm looking better, less stressed, that's all thanks to him. You…you told me to keep doing what made me happy…that's Levi!" Eren explains.
"I only said that because I thought you were fighting again, but weren't comfortable sharing it with me!" Armin's voice rises, but he lowers it when people start looking their way.
"I am fighting again. God, I have never felt as free in my life as I feel on that ring! And Levi, he gave that to me. I still have a lot of shit, of issues, that I want to work through and leave in that ring! Levi gives me the strength to face those battles, to face myself. He makes me happy, Armin." Eren searches Armin's eyes as these truths flow out of his mouth. "Armin."
"This isn't you playing around again, is it? You're in love with him?"
Eren looks down. He nods. It's the truth, and there's no point hiding it from Armin of all people.
Armin sighs. "Break off the engagement with Mikasa."
"No." Eren says at once. "I don't want to hurt her. She's been there for me my whole life, I can't do this to her. No. She's working so goddamn hard to make this wedding as good as it can be, and she's so happy, Armin. Seeing Mikasa happy, makes me happy."
"Eren."
"You can't tell anyone, please, Armin. Especially not her."
"Do you love her?" He asks.
"Of course I do." Eren says honestly.
"Right. Wrong question." Armin says. "Are you still in love with Mikasa?"
"Of course I-" Eren starts to say, but he can't finish that sentence. A few weeks ago before he met Levi, the answer would have been 'Yes, absolutely', three weeks ago after meeting privately with Levi, watching a fight together, the answer would have been "Yes", two weeks ago, after he had an enlightening fight that loosened his inhibitions, and he'd rediscovered his feelings for Levi, kissing him on the spot, the answer would have been "I think so." A week ago, while he lay in Levi's bed, his body and mind affirming that he did indeed love Levi, and wanted to stay next to him, the answer would have been "Maybe." Now, however, surrounded by Levi's friends, Levi watching him in concern, Levi giving him gifts, Levi holding him, Levi letting him in, the answer is…
"I don't know." Eren says quietly.
"I think you do know." Armin says, a sad smile on his face.
"Whose side are you on?" Eren asks, confused.
"Yours. Always." Armin affirms. "But that doesn't mean that I'm okay with you hurting my friend like this."
"Is everything okay here?" Levi approaches the table that the two of them are sitted at.
"I don't know, is it?" Eren asks Armin, even as he scoots over to let Levi sit next to him.
"You know he's getting married in two months, right?" Armin asks Levi.
Well, Levi doesn't know the exact date.
"I know. I'm providing the venue." Levi interlaces his and Eren's fingers in the palm of his hand. Heat creeps into the pit of Eren's stomach. The wine must be kicking in.
"You're both insane." Armin concludes.
"Are you going to tell her?" Levi asks.
Armin sighs, and downs a drink that he takes from a waitress in one go. "It's not really my place, is it? Look, all I've ever wanted was for my best friend to be free, to be happy. I won't stand in the way of that. But at the same time, I want Mikasa to be happy too. To find something outside of Eren, who clearly doesn't appreciate her, that will make her smile. I don't condone this, whatever you guys are doing." He says. "I won't say anything, but Eren, you have to tell her. I sure as hell am not going to be your best man if you keep lying to her."
"Thank you, Armin. Really, thanks." Eren says honestly, and he smiles at Levi. It's unfair to make Armin keep his secret, but Eren is glad that his best friend knows the truth. It means he has one person that he can be completely honest with.
"Right."
Annie comes down to their table bringing food for them. From snippets of Levi snarling at her, and Annie's deadpan but scary comebacks, Eren learns of the bad history between Levi and Annie, or rather the Ackerman family and the Marley gang. She'd apparently attacked Levi's hotel on Marley's orders, badly injuring Petra, Eld, Oluo and Gunther. When Levi had found her there, he'd retaliated in kind, slicing her arm open, and severely wounding her so that she spent two weeks in the hospital. It was after that that she permanently left the Marley gang.
Sometime in the middle, Hange brings them shots of their own making to try out, and Levi flatly refuses while Eren and Armin torture themselves through the awful taste.
All this gets discussed while they eat. But Armin, Eren notices, is distracted.
"Say, who is that guy?" He asks, and Eren follows his eyes, landing on Erwin.
"Erwin Smith, he's a criminal lawyer, why?" Annie answers him.
Armin turns pink. "No reason, just asking." He mumbles, drinking even more wine, but still not competing with Eren for drunkest person at their table.
Annie watches Armin's flaming face curiously, before a thoughtful look crosses her face. "I met him once, when I got arrested, very smart, extremely blunt… I doubt he'd remember, but he told me to get my shit together and stop acting like a fucking child if I didn't want to spent the rest of my life cleaning toilets in prison." She tells Armin. "Are you interested?"
"In what?" Armin determinedly looks down at his plate, face still flushed.
"Hey, he's your friend, right? Call him over here." Annie asks Levi.
"Why the fuck would I do you any favours?" He snaps back at her.
Eren, feeling a bit dizzy, calls out "Erwin! Erwin! Come over here!" Much to Levi's annoyance.
He has no idea how Erwin manages to hear him over the loud music that Hange along with some of the other guests are now dancing to. But Erwin does make his way towards their table.
"Why'd you do that?!" Armin hisses, but Eren shrugs.
When Erwin arrives to their table, Annie immediately speaks. "Hey, are you seeing anyone?" She asks.
The whole table is taken by surprise, and Armin whimpers as though he wishes the table would swallow him.
If the question fazes Erwin, though, he doesn't show it. "I've met you before. A few months ago. Annie Leonheart, no?"
Annie's brow quivers at being remembered, but she does not answer.
"What does a vile ex-convict with no basic regard for human life want with me?" Erwin asks seriously.
Annie smiles. Not her usual scary or sarcastic smile, but one that almost reaches her eyes, and Eren's only ever seen it reserved for Armin.
"My boyfriend is interested in you, but he's a bit shy, so I'm making a pass at you for him." She tells him.
"Huh?" A bewildered Levi says out loud, looking from Erwin to Annie to Armin.
Eren finishes his last glass of wine, and shrugs, "You aren't the only one with, er, perculiar friends."
As if Eren and Levi don't exist in that moment, Erwin looks around, eyes lingering on Armin. "Is that him? The pretty blond hiding behind his hands?" Erwin asks, and she nods. "What about you? You seem pretty interested yourself." There is a challenge in his eyes, as if he's daring Annie to step back.
"Let's say that the both of us are interested. Will you take us up on our offer?" She asks him, arms folded.
"Hmm." Erwin smiles. "It's quite an unconventional offer that your making. Sure, why not? I'm quite intrigued."
"What the fuck is going on here?" Levi asks, lips pursed in confusion.
Eren grins, and stands up, taking Levi's hand. "Forget about those three weirdos. Let's go dance!" He pulls a reluctant Levi onto the dance floor.
It isn't packed, but there are a lot of people there, including Hange who is dancing with a tired, but content looking, brown haired man.
The song playing is slow, and Levi stands unsurely in front of Eren.
"What's wrong?" Eren asks him.
"I…I don't dance." Levi says trying to scowl.
"You mean you can't dance." Eren smiles, pulling Levi closer to him. "I'll show you. Watch me." He places his hands on Levi's hips, pulling him flush against him.
Eren starts slowly swaying his hips side to side, and gray eyes follow the movement eagerly.
He wraps his arms around Eren's neck, and moves along with him, bodies too close to each other. With each movement, Eren craves more of Levi, to feel him in this space, freely, and allow himself to dance even more daringly as the song changes again, and he increases the pace of his dancing, hips moving in unison with Levi's.
"Eren," Levi whispers into his ear, voice barely audible over the loud music, but even still, Eren can tell he's breathing heavily. Oh, how much he loves hearing his name in Levi's husky voice. "This isn't dancing, we're just grinding on each other like a couple of horny kids."
Eren bends down slightly, kissing Levi's neck, even as he holds him tight. "I am a horny kid." He tells him.
Levi snorts. But Eren just keeps swaying with him, their bodies melding together in the lonely night. Sometime in the middle of the next song, Levi lays his head on Eren's chest as they dance. He likes to do this, Eren has observed, and he is even more thankful now for his broad chest than ever before.
"Thank you for bringing me here to meet your friends." Eren tells him quietly.
"It wasn't about them at all. Tonight was just my excuse to take you out on a date." Levi confesses, and Eren stops moving for a moment, to lift Levi's chin up, making him look at him.
"You could've just asked."
"I don't want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable." Levi tells him. "There are a million sights I want to show you, but you'd never let me."
There is a heartbreaking honesty in Levi's tone that Eren does not miss. It crawls like guilt and worry into his skin. But he takes it all in in stride, holding Levi again. Eren's aware that he's never felt like this before with anyone, the thought of just being next to Levi leaves him dizzy and intoxicated. He wants to stay in this moment for as long as possible.
"Maybe not. But I just…, right now, I like holding you like this, with our friends around us. This proves it, right? What you wanted to know." Eren tells him, withdrawing a bit to look at Levi's face. "My feelings for you are real. This is real, Levi."
"Please don't, Eren." Levi swallows roughly as he gazes up into Eren's eyes, and Eren is struck by just how absolutely beautiful the darkness makes Levi look.
"Don't what?"
"Give me hope. Or else I'll take it to heart. If you keep those bright, confident, beautiful eyes on me, only me, tonight, I might be tempted to say words that I'll regret." Levi leans on him, facing him.
And now Levi's hesitation, his reluctance both terrifies and exhilarates Eren, as if Levi's words are the sun, and Eren is nothing but butter. "Say it." He says, not letting his eyes stray from Levi's gaze.
The all powerful Levi, it seems, is powerless in Eren's hands, because his lips part a second later, and the most beautiful words are uttered. "I love you, Eren."
Right then and there, something inside Eren shatters. It shatters, then gets put back together by those words, piece by piece. And a tug in the pit of Eren's stomach grows into an all consuming fire, engulfing the entirety of his being in the furnace that is Levi.
Levi must take Eren's shocked silence for rejection, because he steps back, away from Eren.
"See? I told you I'd regret it." He says, eyes downcast. "Come on, let's go."
Levi leads him outside, hand on his lower back, until they reach the exit. The cool air fills Eren with clarity, and before Levi can open the car door for him, Eren pulls Levi back into his arms, trapping him between himself and the car. Levi looks up at him, the intensity in that gaze making the hairs on Eren's neck stand on end.
"Don't regret loving me. Don't regret saying it. I want to hear you say it to me, a thousand times over." Eren tells him, deciding to tell the truth. "Because I also l-"
But then Levi covers his mouth with his own, eating the words before they leave Eren's lips. Levi tastes like panic, like fear and uncertainty even as his lips move with Eren's. Even as his hands tug on Eren's hair, Levi's kiss tastes like both dread and hopeful anticipation.
This is it, Eren realises, as he stands there, holding Levi in his arms, watching him in the dim lighting. What he wants to have for the rest of his life.
"You've already given me too much tonight, Eren. If you give me any more, I might end up wanting everything." Levi says, when they break apart. "Don't say it."
This must be his punishment, Eren realises, for chasing both freedom and security at the expense of two people's hearts. Yet still, the dark part of him regrets none of it, because this moment right here is absolute perfection, and he wants things between him and Levi to keep getting better and better every second.
So when he presses his lips against Levi's again, and Levi whispers into his lips that he loves him, Eren thinks that he holds the world in the palm of his hand that is holding Levi right now.
Quick Note:
I will not be publishing any more chapters of this story on FFN, I just can't figure this website out. However, you can read the complete story for free on AO3, no ads.
Here's the link: /works/35236267